By Zephyria 
For some reason, my head went blank and I couldn’t say anything, but Aska said brusquely.
“Not things like ‘you eat meat well.'”
“……”
I opened my eyes and stared blankly at Aska. I felt a shock as if I had been hit on the head. Because even if I thought about it seriously, there was no particular reason why I liked Aska.
In fact, I had never seriously considered why I liked this monster, not even a person, so much. I just met him, looked at his face, talked to him, and suddenly he looked cute and pretty. And then I naturally started to like him, wanting to touch him, and getting an erection…
“See, you can’t answer.”
At his confident voice, I sighed and shook my head.
“No.”
“Then why can’t you answer?”
“I have too many, so I was choosing a few.”
“Tell me the first thing that came to mind.”
He asked persistently with suspicious eyes. I felt like my stomach was turning inside out and my vision was spinning.
Isn’t it just because he’s pretty? Is it a sin to like him because he’s pretty? Whether he’s laughing, crying, angry, annoyed, cursing, turning into a lump and stirring up the bottom of the lake, or being pathetic, he looks pretty to me, so what can I do?
“You’re kind, first of all.”
But I thought it would be counterproductive to say something related to his appearance, so I just blurted out anything. Then Aska’s expression crumpled.
“You’re just saying anything because you can’t think of anything.”
“You’re lively like a puppy. You look like a rabbit when you’re surprised.”
“Haa……”
“You climb trees well, and you take good care of animals.”
“Okay, just stop. Don’t squeeze it out, something you can’t even think of.”
Seeing Aska sigh and turn his head as if he was upset, I felt a little wronged. Of course, I was a little rushed because I had nothing to say, but why does he think I’m lying?
“Why are you so upset when I say I like you?”
Then Aska replied as if he had been waiting for it.
“It doesn’t resonate with me, and I don’t understand it. I don’t feel any sincerity, and it just sounds like you’re saying anything.”
“……”
Why is he so picky……? What do I have to say to satisfy him? I didn’t know it was so hard to satisfy the person I love.
In the end, I seriously pondered again.
I reached out and grabbed Aska’s chin, turning it this way and that, observing his face. He pouted his lips with a sulky expression and endlessly seduced me, but I pulled myself together and came to a conclusion.
“First of all.”
“First of all what?”
“You’re kind.”
“……”
“And you’re sweet.”
“……”
He still didn’t seem to like it. But when I thought about it, I didn’t like those things about Aska, I hated them.
My expression also frowned.
“But I hate that you’re kind and sweet.”
“What?”
“You give gifts that you don’t have to give, and you take care of people you don’t have to take care of.”
Aska’s distorted face gradually changed to a puzzled expression. I sighed as I looked at Aska tilting his head.
“You picked tree fruits for other people to eat earlier, too. You said eating something sweet is good for recovering from fatigue.”
“I was just picking them for you, but the amount got bigger, so I gave them as a bonus.”
“You also pulled out the carriage wheel that was stuck in the mud.”
“I pulled it out so you wouldn’t be bored and we could leave quickly.”
“You even went to the trouble of picking up jewels in the mountains and giving them as gifts.”
“I gave them as a reward for taking good care of you. If I don’t take care of them, who will? You didn’t even say thank you properly to them, did you? I did it because I knew you wouldn’t.”
He had his own reasons, but that didn’t change my mind. Then Aska, who seemed to be thinking about something, said something strange.
“So you like that kind of thing?”
“No, I hate it. I hate that kind of thing.”
I’ve been saying that I hate that kind of thing since earlier, what are you talking about? Are you deaf? But Aska’s expression, which had been sulky, was now so bright that it was dazzling.
When I kept saying he was cute and pretty, he kept acting brusquely, but why does he like it when I say I hate it?
“Do you like being called kind more than being called pretty?”
“Yeah.”
“Why?”
“It’s something I can do something about.”
What does he mean by “do something about”? I didn’t understand, but he seemed to be in a good mood, so I just left it alone.
Honestly, it was so stupid to even be thinking about this. Whether I like him because he’s pretty or because he’s kind, is it that different? If I don’t like him, it doesn’t matter if he’s pretty or kind. Isn’t it important that I like him?
I had a lot of questions I wanted to ask, but I was afraid he would get sulky again if I asked the wrong thing, so I asked the most innocuous question I could.
“You didn’t like it when I said I liked you because you were kind at first.”
“I didn’t feel any sincerity.”
I felt a little surprised at his firm words. That’s because I really just said anything to get out of it earlier. How does he know all that?
“Do you feel sincerity now?”
Aska nodded at my question. Did he feel that way because he attached a reason to it? Anyway, I was glad he was feeling better. But there was something I had to point out.
“Anyway, I don’t just like you because you’re pretty. If that was really the only reason, I would have been disgusted when I saw your back a few days ago. Right?”
I subtly brought up the story about the scar. As expected, Aska’s brow furrowed. I felt like I could talk more if he was annoyed that I even said that, but he completely changed his expression as if he hadn’t even heard it and changed the subject.
“The sun’s already set. I brought you here to show you the sunset.”
Come to think of it, it was already night. But it wasn’t too dark because of the moonlight.
“Let’s go down now. Hold me tight.”
At those words, I glanced down.
“……”
As I stared at the darkness that seemed to have no end, my heart suddenly sank. I thought I could see a faintly flickering flame, and I could hear the sound of heavy metal being dragged and colliding in the distance.
As I tilted my head at the absurd hallucination, Aska asked.
“Why?”
“I’m scared.”
“What?”
I frowned at the words that came out without me realizing it.
“You’re scared? Really?”
But only for a moment, I couldn’t help but be puzzled. Because Aska’s voice was too bright. He wasn’t worried, so what was this?
“Why are you so happy?”
“You don’t say things like that often.”
It was a look similar to when he first saw my lower body. An expression that was somehow excited, as if he was expecting something a lot.
“If you look closely, you’re really unique too.”
“Why are you scared? What? Is it because it’s dark? Is it because it’s high up? Is it because it’s too quiet? Or is it because a Magical creature might come out?”
“This is ridiculous.”
As I sighed and muttered at the barrage of questions, Aska suddenly hugged me tightly. Then, like I always did, he started rubbing his face all over my face.
“Cute.”
“……”
It was a word I had never heard in my life. I just endured it with a sullen expression, and Aska took off the robe he was wearing and covered me with it.
“I’ll carry you, so close your eyes until we get down.”
His voice was excited, so I let him do what he wanted. I didn’t have to close my eyes, because I couldn’t see anything anyway because of the robe. It was definitely the same black color as the darkness I saw under my feet, but I wasn’t scared at all now.
Was that even fear in the first place? It was unfamiliar and awkward, so I couldn’t really tell what it was.
“Tell me again if you’re scared.”
“……”
He’s really excited…… My feet fell off the tree and my body was lifted up. I wrapped my arms around Aska’s neck, closed my eyes, and said casually.
“I’m a little scared.”
“Now?”
“Yeah, now. Go down slowly so my body doesn’t shake.”
“Okay. Are your eyes closed?”
The arms holding me tightened and the movements became more careful. Honestly, he could just jump down, but he was being so careful that it took a long time just to get down from the tree.
I finally got down and fell out of Aska’s arms. I was a little sad, so I was going to pretend to be scared and ask him to hold my hand, but Aska went even further.
“Do you want me to piggyback you?”
In the end, I got on Aska’s back. I thought it would look a little funny, so I hesitated and thought about it, but there was no one to see anyway. Just animals?
“Aska.”
“Why, are you scared?”
“……Uh, I’m scared. But that’s not what I meant, you have to tell me if you’re scared too. Okay?”
“I’m not really scared?”
I sighed inwardly at the laughing voice. For some reason, my heart kept feeling heavy.
“Not just now. You can be scared on a bright day too. When you’re scared, or hurt, or sad, or depressed, or whatever. And when you’re angry too.”
It would be nice if he would tell me anytime, anywhere, but the fact that he still wants to hide it until the end was proof that he still doesn’t trust me. So this isn’t just a matter of being pretty or not.
“If I was sick and didn’t tell you and just kept it to myself, how would you feel?”
“I wouldn’t feel good. If you just told me, I could make you all better. But why are you holding back?”
“You might just not want to tell me. It’s not like you’re sick once or twice, if you’re sick every day, you might get annoyed.”
Of course, I had never thought that way. But Aska was so shocked that he even stopped walking.
“Have you ever really thought that? Not just as an example?”
Was Aska’s heart as badly damaged as mine was a little while ago? I usually always wanted to show him only the pretty things and make him laugh, but I thought it wasn’t bad to see this side of him sometimes.
“No.”
“Really no? Are you sure?”
“I’m sure. I can swear.”
I leaned my face comfortably on Aska’s shoulder and closed my eyes.
“I’m going to tell you if I get hurt in the future too. I’ll look for you first even if something’s just a little off, and I’ll tell you first when I’m feeling bad. Even if you can’t solve my pain, I’ll only whine to you.”
“……”
“I’ll tell you first even if my memories come back. Just like you showed me the sunset, I’ll take you with me if I find a beautiful place. Even if I have to go down a thorny path, I won’t leave you alone. I’ll make you wear shoes made of steel and take you with me no matter what.”
Aska’s chattering voice couldn’t be heard. In the quiet silence, I prayed more comfortably and peacefully than ever before.
“So you have to tell me first if you’re ever sick or scared.”
“……”
“It doesn’t matter even if it’s a long time later. Okay?”
“……”
Aska was silent for a while, then moved his feet and started walking again. And a little later, a very subdued and trembling voice gently licked my eardrum.
“Okay……”
“……”
It was so ticklish that I almost made him stop again, but I barely managed to hold it in. If I got hard in this position, I would definitely get caught. I couldn’t ruin this serious atmosphere.
Ha, why is Aska so lovable? This might be a task that humanity has to solve in the future.