By Zephyria 
※ This story contains descriptions of violence, murder, and other disturbing elements. Please consider this before purchasing.
Actually, the pain was bearable enough.
I had already been threatened several times before coming to Sa Dillin. Perhaps that’s why I was getting used to eating poison with a Servant, not even alone, and with a doctor present.
And what’s the worst that could happen? I’d just die. If I died, I wouldn’t be able to eat delicious things anymore, and there wouldn’t be any fun things to do, but that was okay.
But sitting at my desk all day was too hard.
“……”
Should I just die?
As I turned the page of a book, I suddenly had that thought as I looked at the clear sky. If I died, wouldn’t I have to read books anymore? Wouldn’t I have to memorize things that I didn’t even understand anymore? Are there books in heaven?
“……”
But when I thought about it, I didn’t think I could go to heaven. First of all, more than thirty people had already died because of me. Then would I go to hell? Are there books in hell?
Then isn’t it the same whether I die or not? If it’s the same situation, I think it’s better to live than to die. Has anyone ever been to hell and come back?
I blankly thought about it and got up from my seat. I thought I should start doing good deeds, even if it was just a little bit, right now. Because my mother would be in heaven.
First, I prepared several kinds of medicine and called the Servants and guards to my room. Because this was Sa Dillin, the number of people who served me was limited, so there weren’t many.
I gave them each a bag of emergency medicine and said.
“There’s medicine to apply when you have a wound and medicine to take when you have a fever. There are also clean cloths and bandages, and digestive medicine. There are also painkillers, but no matter how much it hurts, don’t take more than five pills a day. If I catch you abusing them, I will punish you. And this is just emergency medicine, so if you’re sick, you must go to the doctor. Do you understand?”
Everyone looked bewildered at my sudden and strange behavior. It was understandable. Even if I were a Servant, I would think that my master was about to die if he suddenly did this.
“If you need more, tell me anytime. Tell Jia, and she will give you the same thing. Tell me even if you have a more serious illness. Tell me if your family is sick. Tell me if your friend who lives next door is sick. Tell me even if someone you’re not very close to but keep thinking about is sick. Then I’ll support you with medicine and treatment costs.”
I tried to act as benevolent as possible and laid the groundwork before getting to the point.
“I’ll help you all, so if someone suddenly comes and tells you to kill me, or tells you to sprinkle just a little seasoning on my food, you must never do that. Do you understand?”
Would they understand what I meant? They seemed quick-witted at times, but other times they were so stupid that I couldn’t tell if they understood me properly.
“Anyway, if something happens to me, you’ll all die. Even if someone comes and tempts you by saying that they’ll spare your life and the lives of your family, relatives, and even distant relatives, and give you plenty of travel expenses to go far away, you must never listen. That’s all a lie.”
“……”
“So, instead of falling for ridiculous temptations and making things complicated, you should just tell me. If you understand, answer me, and if you need anything else, tell me.”
Even after the long speech was over, no one opened their mouth. They glanced around with embarrassed expressions, as if they were worried that they would die if they said something wrong.
Those cowardly fools. Who said they were going to kill them?
I was frustrated and annoyed, but when I thought about it, I was in the same position in front of the Emperor, just rolling my eyes, so I let it go.
“If you don’t need anything right now, tell Jia later. Jia, you don’t need to report to me, just give them what they need if they say they need something. This is limited to medicine and daily necessities, and if you’re caught reselling them for profit or hoarding them excessively, I’ll cut off your arms and tear off your skin, so keep that in mind.”
After preparing for any situation that might happen, I felt like the stuffiness that had been in my chest had been cleared away.
And that day, for the first time in a long time, I slept soundly without having a nightmare.
¸.•¨•¸.•¨•¸.•¨•¸
I didn’t get any more nosebleeds, and I had fewer digestive problems. My health recovered day by day, and the Mana cultivation class that had been temporarily suspended was resumed.
“Please tell me if you experience any abnormal symptoms.”
“……”
The doctor who had been treating me before had died, so a new person came. It seemed that the medicine didn’t cause immediate symptoms, so I was still fine, and I quietly observed him.
He was a young-looking man, and there was a faint sweat on his forehead. Like his predecessor, he must be afraid of dying without anyone knowing.
I was about to tell him that he wouldn’t die if he kept his mouth shut and did as he was told, but I stopped. Because the Emperor and I probably looked the same to him.
“……”
How long do I have to keep doing this? How much Mana do I have to cultivate? I felt like I was going crazy. If that was the case, wouldn’t it have been better if I had been born as a venomous snake instead of a human? Aren’t venomous snakes immune to poison? Or is it just immune to its own poison?
I was thinking useless thoughts when suddenly the color in front of me started to change. Was it the kind that caused hallucinations?
I was wondering if I should tell the doctor about this or not. Because I might look like I was exaggerating. Then would he pity me and say something unnecessary to the Emperor?
I was trying to endure as much as I could when suddenly my eyeballs became hot. The pain quickly worsened, and I couldn’t bear it anymore.
I opened my mouth casually with the most expressionless face I could muster.
“You suddenly look green, is that also an abnormal symptom?”
“Yes, it is. Are there any other areas where you feel uncomfortable?”
“My throat feels a little tight… It also feels itchy. A hot, round umbrella…”
I tilted my head as I spoke. Because it felt like my mouth wasn’t moving properly. The world was spinning, and I couldn’t hear what I was saying.
Then, at some point, I started hearing children laughing in my ears. Colorful flowers bloomed everywhere, and fireworks exploded. I couldn’t help but laugh at the dazzling sight, but something didn’t fit.
In one corner of my vision, a doctor with white clothes stained red was walking somewhere. I realized that it was a hallucination caused by the medicine, but I followed him as if I was possessed.
Hot blood flowed continuously from under the doctor’s legs, soaking the floor. My feet, following behind him, were also submerged in the bright red blood.
It spread wider and wider, engulfing the entire floor, eventually swallowing me up, filling the room, leaving the castle, and being pushed out to a distant place.
Floating aimlessly in the sea of blood, I found the doctor split in half. Next to him were several Servants who were burned beyond recognition.
Behind me, a maid with her head cut off and a knight with his stomach torn open and his intestines spilling out floated along like sailboats. When I looked down, I saw people who were still alive under my feet.
But those people were soon hacked to death by a child tearing at the festering flesh with their fingernails after drinking poison.
When I looked up, I saw a bright red sky.
In a world full of red clouds, a red sun, a red night, red stars, a red heaven, a red hell, and red blood raining down like rain, I suddenly wondered.
If I hadn’t been exaggerating, would something have changed?
That was something I couldn’t know.