By Zephyria 
A voice that had suddenly grown warm reached his ears. Glancing sideways, he saw a profile with cheeks pushed up high from a wide smile. He really likes it. Contrary to that thought, Eun-ha quietly watched Yeon-jun approach the cat with strangely cautious steps. The excitement radiating from him made him look exactly like a puppy wagging its tail.
As if waiting for him, Lulu, who had stopped at the end of the hallway, flicked the tip of her tail. But just as Yeon-jun knelt down and reached out his hand, she suddenly pivoted and began to trot away. Consequently, Yeon-jun’s hand was left hanging in mid-air, lost. And with that, his warmth vanished instantly.
The corners of Eun-ha’s mouth twitched. He could feel the vitality rapidly draining from the figure crouching there.
Eventually, he couldn’t hold back his laughter. He tried to clear his throat to compose himself, but it wasn’t easy. As he let out small, wheezing breaths of air squeezed from his lungs, the boy twisted his body to look up at Eun-ha. His gaze was slightly pouty. Eun-ha belatedly managed his expression as he approached.
“I guess you aren’t as close as you thought, considering how much you like her.”
“No, it’s not that. We’re actually really close.”
“She just ignored you and walked away.”
“……She’s a cat.”
Continuing with an excuse that lacked conviction, he eventually shook it off and stood up. Leaving his sorrow behind, he grabbed Eun-ha’s wrist. “Come this way, Hyung.” Following the guidance, Eun-ha allowed himself to be led while scanning the surroundings. Nothing of the interior of the house remained in his memory, so everything felt unfamiliar, as if he were seeing it for the first time.
The most striking thing was the large wedding photo hanging in the living room. His gaze was drawn to the extremely glamorous woman—in other words, Yeon-jun’s mother from decades ago. It was a point that made Yeon-jun’s appearance naturally understandable. It’s completely maternal inheritance.
On the way, he also noticed family photo frames placed on a display cabinet. Facing a familiar face within them, Eun-ha felt a renewed sense of reluctance. No, rather than that, it was a sense of guilt… closer to a pricking conscience.
Though it wouldn’t happen, wouldn’t Baek Ju-hee be absolutely appalled if she found out about their relationship? She would probably look at him like he was some kind of degenerate.
Upon arriving at his room, he spent a moment looking around the corners. In the meantime, Lulu—who had been the purpose of their walk here—followed them in through the gap in the door, for better or worse.
Lulu’s destination was the center of the bed. Consequently, that became their destination as well. They sat in a position that surrounded Lulu. From then on, it was time to observe. Lulu sprawled out on the sheets, wriggling and rubbing her body this way and that. She seemed to be in a good mood. Yeon-jun touched, scratched, and petted the cat with natural movements. He even patted her rump vigorously. Then, he let out a sigh, as if it were troublesome that she liked it so much.
“She’s really cute, right?”
“She is.”
“You can touch her. She doesn’t particularly dislike strangers.”
This was followed by the explanation that if she did, she wouldn’t be lying here like this in the first place. Instead of reaching out, Eun-ha gazed down at Lulu. The truth was, he was slightly afraid of animals. He had a history of being bitten by a dog when he was young.
Do cats bite too? He didn’t have much knowledge about that, so he wasn’t sure. While he was fidgeting with the bedsheets, unable to easily touch her, Yeon-jun, who had been sitting opposite him, suddenly shifted closer. He approached so abruptly that their thighs almost touched, then wrapped an arm around Eun-ha’s waist and pulled him into an embrace. He clung to him, resting his chin on the edge of Eun-ha’s shoulder. It was around the time Eun-ha looked back, slightly bewildered. Meeting his eyes up close, Yeon-jun smiled softly and spoke.
“Hyung is cuter.”
“……What are you talking about?”
Eun-ha immediately frowned. He glared sideways as if he didn’t understand the meaning, twisting his shoulder. Yeon-jun, who was pushed away by the movement, let a question bloom in his uniquely clear and transparent eyes, then answered in a casual tone.
“I thought you were jealous.”
Eun-ha was genuinely flabbergasted. He let out a sharp breath.
“……This is unbelievable.”
“Weren’t you?”
“I wasn’t. Stop talking nonsense, Yeon-jun.”
He twisted his lips sharply. So, you’re saying you acted like you were soothing a pouting lover because you thought I was envious? And with some absurd explanation like ‘Hyung is cuter’.
Who dares to… this brat…
However, after a brief surge of irritation, Eun-ha soon regained his usual composure. It was ridiculous for him to be triggered by age when he had lived his life so aimlessly.
Still, he remained bewildered, so he made his position clear.
“Why would I be… toward an animal, not even a person… I’m not that bad.”
“Really?”
“Yes. It’s just that I’m a bit afraid of animals. I like just looking at them, but touching is a bit… I once went to a relative’s house a long time ago and got bitten by a big dog.”
“Ah-.”
Yeon-jun’s eyes widened. Then, he furrowed his brows like someone who was distressed.
“…I didn’t know.”
A blunt gaze landed on him. No more words followed. Eun-ha now knew what kind of situation produced this reaction. When one has something they want to say but finds it awkward to voice.
Right now, he probably… wanted to ask why he hadn’t said so sooner. He was always the type to refrain from saying things that could be interpreted as blaming others. Eun-ha gave a light shrug.
“I didn’t say anything because I’m fine. I like animals themselves. I’m just worried they might pounce on me.”
But it didn’t seem like Lulu would fiercely pounce on him. Perhaps because he had watched her peacefully for a while, he felt languid and relaxed, without any sense of vigilance. Currently, this cat’s only interest seemed to be the sunlight reaching the bed.
Watching the cat purring in the sunny spot, Eun-ha pondered briefly and then, as if deciding, lifted his hand. He brought his finger toward the tip of the tail stretched out on the bed. He didn’t touch it; he only moved close enough to almost touch. Because she might be startled if he touched her suddenly. ……But is it really okay?
“…She won’t bite?”
Yeon-jun answered, “No.” Even with that firm answer, Eun-ha hesitated, unable to make contact, so Yeon-jun dissuaded him, as if to say he didn’t have to force himself.
“If you’re scared, you don’t have to touch her.”
“…….”
“Do you want to touch her?”
“Yeah.”
With a barely audible laugh, Yeon-jun sat even closer. He layered his hand over the back of Eun-ha’s hand, which was wandering in the air. Then, he moved immediately. It wasn’t rushed, but it wasn’t particularly slow either. Without preparation, the animal’s fur filled Eun-ha’s hand. A soft and squishy sensation filled his palm. No, I didn’t expect to touch her so suddenly.
Slightly startled, Eun-ha’s eyes darted around. Fortunately, Lulu didn’t seem to be in a bad mood. The shoulders that had been stiff with tension gradually relaxed.
“She likes being touched here.”
The cat was truly docile. Under the guidance of the hand enveloping his own, Eun-ha was able to touch Lulu safely. What a big deal. Just overlapping hands and moving together was such a small thing. Yet, feeling as if smoke were rising in a corner of his heart, he tried hard to focus on the cat’s movements. He gave a calm evaluation.
“……She’s soft.”
“Right?”
“I think she’s very well-behaved.”
“I told you. She’s like a puppy-cat.”
At the gentle voice, Eun-ha glanced sideways. His gaze fell on the eyes that were softly relaxed. An emotion that no one could fail to recognize was melted throughout. If one were to sculpt love into a form, wouldn’t it look exactly like this?
Since she’s family, it’s natural, but he really treasures her.
Eun-ha felt his fluttering heart settle slightly. Seeing his lover dote so exquisitely on his companion cat made a corner of his chest feel crumpled. It wasn’t jealousy. It truly wasn’t that. Eun-ha knew. A lover and family cannot be placed on the same scale of comparison.
It was just that the act of recognizing that fact was unpleasant. He hadn’t been curious, nor had he kept it in mind, yet the other had needlessly brought up things like ‘who is cuter’.
Because it was obvious that if he asked who he liked more, Yeon-jun would choose Lulu without hesitation.
That obvious logic brought about a feeling that wasn’t particularly pleasant. Disappointed in his own pettiness to a surprising degree, Eun-ha felt his mood plummet. How can I be this narrow-minded?