By Zephyria 
“If that’s the case, let’s just die together. Let’s cut off each other’s breath cleanly and just end it.”
Tae-hwon opened his dry lips slightly.
Many thoughts came to mind. Countless things he wanted to say to him also came to mind.
“Young mas…”
“I already said that I would be buried alive with Tae-hwon when he dies. That I would dig up his grave and crawl in. That’s not a joke, it’s not a prank.”
“Do…”
“Why don’t you call me Rae-i? Why are you doing this?”
“……”
“Just because those memories come back, the promise you made with me is nothing? Tae-hwon.”
“……”
“Tae-hwon. Tae-hwon. Tae-hwon! Fuck, fuck, Tae-hwon!!”
The call that echoed through the room like a reverberation carved into his heart like a sharp blade.
Emotions swirled like a storm. Kwon Rae-i was showing the madness of a person going crazy. His eyes, which had lost focus, and his face, distorted with resentment, were miserable. And the tears that flowed endlessly down his chin and onto Tae-hwon’s face. One drop at a time.
“Tae-hwon. You can’t just love carelessly. Not with a sane mind.”
His fierce eyes flashed. A firm will could still be seen in his heart.
“I don’t care about memories or anything else, what the fuck. What are you going to do if I say I’m going to lock up and tie up Woo Tae-hwon? Even if you reject me after regaining your memories, it doesn’t seem like it will be much different from now. Pushing me away at the crucial moment is always the same anyway.”
“……”
“Don’t expect me to quit. I can’t quit this shit for the rest of my life.”
That gesture contained a desperation to not give up, to hold on to something even in despair.
Tae-hwon barely, really barely, replied to that.
“…It must be hard…”
“Of course it is.”
“…You must resent me…”
“It’s always been like that. I’ve been trying not to show it until now.”
“It’s bound to be dangerous…”
“I’ll try.”
Kwon Rae-i’s hands were still holding onto Woo Tae-hwon tightly. He didn’t let go for a single moment.
“I’ll try to be more meticulous and cunning than I am now, so that I can receive Tae-hwon’s love. More desperately than I’ve ever done before.”
“……”
“No matter how much Tae-hwon, who has regained his memories, pushes me away, I’ll chase after him that much again. I’ll do it no matter what miserable things I have to do. I’ll confess for the rest of my life, I won’t care about doing dirty or disgusting things, whether it’s taming his body first or remodeling his tastes, I’ll try everything.”
“……”
“Eventually, we’ll be together. Like now. I’ll make it happen again, for sure. Leave it to me.”
“……”
“Please trust me. Please.”
He was deeply moved by the way he rushed in so fiercely.
He couldn’t bear it any longer.
Dare, who in the world, could reject him like this.
Now Woo Tae-hwon wanted to trust him more than anyone else. He had no choice.
“…Rae-i.”
The moment he called his name irresistibly, Tae-hwon realized that the agony that had been dominating his mind had come to an end.
He could no longer reject Kwon Rae-i.
Just like he hadn’t been able to give up on Woo Tae-hwon until now.
He pulled himself together, trying to use honorifics out of habit, and spoke as the twenty-year-old Woo Tae-hwon, as he and Kwon Rae-i both wanted.
“Then, it’s going to be harsh. It’s going to be hard, it’s going to be painful.”
“But, I also get that much strength because of Tae-hwon. Woo Tae-hwon is the driving force of my life.”
“What the hell am I. What am I to you. Why do you love me so much.”
“Then, what about Tae-hwon. What am I to Tae-hwon, why don’t you love me.”
“I.”
“Tell me. I won’t give up no matter what, so tell me everything and leave.”
“I.”
In the pure white bedroom, under the pouring light of the lamps, Kwon Rae-i grabbed Tae-hwon. His face, wet with tears, was beautiful to the point of being desperate.
It was as elaborate and delicate as if it were not a living creature, and it was imbued with a demonic fascination that stole souls. His expression contained the depth of terrible despair and ardent affection.
…Love.
Such a thing…
It was something heavy that was hard to even look at, something painful that was sinful to even mention carelessly, something shrinking and fearful because you were afraid that something might go wrong.
It was a shadow that followed like the front and back of a coin.
Knowing that if you stepped into it, you would be dragged in and swallowed, how should you deal with this heart that can’t bear to leave him alone?
“You…”
He wanted this feeling that Woo Tae-hwon was feeling now to be engraved in his memory.
Even if the thirty-year-old Woo Tae-hwon returned and his current self faded, he hoped that the scream that echoed endlessly in his heart would be heard.
Why he was so desperate. What Kwon Rae-i was. What his affection was.
Tae-hwon moved his trembling lips and said.
“…Okay. If you, Rae-i, want to restrain me, I’m willing to be bound.”
Kwon Rae-i.
“I won’t resent you no matter how you treat me after this. Whether you lock me up and tie me up, or tame me and have sex with me in any way, do whatever you want.”
Kwon Rae-i.
“And if, in the distant future, the day comes when your feelings change, I…”
Rae-i…
“I want to love you.”
Just like you did to me.
Desperately, bitterly. And firmly. He wanted to return the same thing to him.
Tae-hwon pulled his face in with both hands. He put so much strength into it that his fingertips turned white. He hugged him and pressed his forehead against his forehead. The burning gaze penetrated straight into his open heart. He could no longer stop him.
Kwon Rae-i nodded slowly.
“Okay.”
It felt like he could see a blue light in front of him.
A path opened in his azure eyes, which were sharp like broken glass and dazzling like perfectly cut diamonds. The shimmering iridescence seemed to pull Tae-hwon in.
“Let’s see what happens. Don’t doubt me again.”
“Ah… I won’t be able to doubt you.”
“Then just admit it. We’re a community of fate.”
He moved forward a little more.
He got closer, close enough for their breaths to touch, and finally their lips touched.
His whole mind was shaken by that short contact, a light bump.
It surged like a strong wave.
Tae-hwon swallowed his breath below his neck, and deeply inserted his fingers between his hairs. It was hot and uneasy. But he couldn’t escape.
“Ugh.”
His lips met and parted repeatedly as if he was being swept away. His dry and rough lips constantly sought the other, and it felt as if he would stay in this moment of exchanging kisses forever. Both of them were out of their minds.
“Haa.”
“Ah!”
Tae-hwon gasped loudly and narrowed his eyes. Kwon Rae-i urgently overlapped his lips again as if he couldn’t let him go for even a moment, demanding confirmation.
“Tell me you’ll love me.”
“That, now?”
“Then when are you going to say it. You said your memories are coming back. It’ll be too late then.”
“Ah… okay. I’ll love you. You.”
As Tae-hwon said exactly what he wanted, Kwon Rae-i quickly inhaled.
His jaw clenched tightly and his tendons stood out. His white skin slowly heated up, and his thin white hair shook like silver threads in his exhaled breath.
“Fuck, I can’t take it. Just tell me you love me now.”
“What?”
“I love you. Because I love you!”
“Ha, okay. I love you.”
“Again. Keep going.”
“…I love you.”
“Don’t stop. Ugh.”
He reached into Tae-hwon’s clothes with trembling hands. He couldn’t bear not being closer. A huge and profound tide of emotions that could not be released with just a few words was constantly rushing in from a distant place.
The mattress shook greatly, and the more it shook, the more Tae-hwon held Kwon Rae-i tighter. He felt pain as if the shoulder blade wound that had been cut by a blade had burst, but he didn’t care. He was only eager to explore the other person.
Tae-hwon also reached out and took off his clothes. He took off Kwon Rae-i’s suit jacket, which he was wearing as he went out, and began to unbutton his shirt one by one from the bottom. His fingertips, which were strangely excited, trembled.