#44

Amber was busy. From Tennessee’s perspective, he didn’t need to be so active or hardworking, but Amber moved without a moment’s rest. Because such a large person was pacing back and forth in a single room, the hospital room felt somewhat cramped. Tennessee rubbed his eyelids and opened them, staring at the unfamiliar face.

Though the voice had become much lower and thicker, traces of Amber’s unique old voice remained, making it possible to recognize him. He had said he would grow a lot in height, so that wasn’t surprising. But he hadn’t expected that not recognizing a face would make a person feel so different.

Every time he saw him, Tennessee felt as if he were meeting a stranger.

It was especially like that when he first woke up. Tennessee recalled that moment with a hollow laugh.

A man with a look of disbelief on his face had been staring at him, and in that moment, Tennessee had instinctively reached for a gun. But the feel of the bedsheets was different, and—naturally—there was no revolver. His first thought was how to neutralize this man.

‘Amber. It’s Amber.’

It felt as if the fog in his head was clearing. Amber…? You?

Even though the face was clearly different from the one he knew, he felt relieved. However, prosopagnosia was exhausting. It forced him to remain guarded and unable to let down his tension.

He could recognize Amber now, but the first few days were hard, and in truth, he still hadn’t adjusted to his face. Every time, he seemed like a new person. Aside from the scars, nothing remained as Tennessee remembered. To the point where he suspected he was being deceived.

Since it felt like a foolish and inefficient thought, Tennessee shook his head. Who on earth would spend such effort and capital to deceive him? Who was he to warrant that? And if someone really wanted to deceive him, there would have been plenty of people with personalities similar to the old Amber, but the current one was convincingly different.

“Amber, my cigarettes.”

Amber, who was organizing the drawer, pulled cigarettes from his coat pocket. They were the ones Tennessee used to smoke. Amber fished out one cigarette and brought it toward his lips. Just as Tennessee tried to take it with his lips, Amber pulled his hand back. Tennessee frowned and lifted his chin again, only for the hand holding the cigarette to retreat further.

“Smoking is prohibited here.”

“I can just go outside.”

“I’ll get the wheelchair.”

Amber spoke with a soft smile, appearing as if he were about to turn around, only to drop this:

“Ah, come to think of it, you’re forbidden from going out. The doctor said not to go outside because it’s bad for your immunity.”

Tennessee let out a sigh. He had one more surgery ahead of him, and since no doctor in the 21st century would encourage smoking, the ban was only natural. In front of a resigned Tennessee, Amber smiled mischievously and grabbed the cigarette. Then, he snapped the cigarette in half right before his eyes. The tobacco crumbled away.

Did this kid have this much built up against me, or does he just want to pick a fight right now?

While the nicotine-starved patient agonized, Amber had a look of pure satisfaction on his face.

“Have this instead.”

Amber rummaged through his pocket and pulled something out. Tennessee heard a rustling sound and felt things falling in front of him.

Tootsie rolls.

They were dark brown taffy-like candies.

“I bought these on purpose. I thought the color would be similar to the color of Tennessee’s alveoli, ruined by tar from smoking so much.”

This little…

With his functional left hand, Tennessee brushed the candies aside.

As he took care of him, Amber had been falling asleep from exhaustion more often lately. Tennessee clicked his tongue openly. It was only natural that he was worn out, moving busily for someone whose limbs were incapacitated and handling other tasks on his behalf.

Amber even tried to handle various documents for him. Tennessee had to deal with hospital paperwork, bills, emails, and even matters regarding the sale of a house, and Amber pestered him, saying he wanted to help. This became even more intense after Amber found out Tennessee was planning to buy a house in Chicago.

Tennessee had decided to settle in Chicago immediately after hearing the recovery prognosis from the doctor.

‘After brain surgery, the brain swells. It takes at least six months for that swelling to go down. At least. In some cases, it takes a year.’

Instead of bodyguard work, he would have to do semi-office work as a security consultant, like before. Or, the thought crossed Tennessee’s mind that simply resting wouldn’t be bad. A year would pass quickly. Since he wasn’t struggling financially, it wasn’t an unreasonable thought.

‘And it takes a long time for bones to knit. You won’t be in the hospital for long, but you’ll have to wait a while for a full recovery.’

Naturally, Amber enthusiastically welcomed the idea of Tennessee settling in Chicago for the time being. Though it was a strange way of welcoming him—by getting angry.

‘Where are you going to go?’

‘Probably Chicago.’

Since he hadn’t completely decided to just rest, if he were to work, Chicago, where the security company headquarters were located, would be best.

‘That house, Tennessee. You have to go back to that house.’

‘….’

As far as Tennessee could tell, Amber felt deep regret that the house had been disposed of.

According to Amber, what Tennessee had sold wasn’t a house, but the memories set against the backdrop of that house.

Selling memories. Tennessee also thought of that house from time to time. Spaces stained like fingerprints with memories of Amber, even if it wasn’t specifically that house.

Was it when they lived in the studio apartment in Chicago? Amber used to press his face close to the window to see the night view. When the tip of his nose touched the cold surface, his breath would fog up. A city that never sleeps. With both hands on the window, Amber would gaze outside for a long time. Even after he stopped being amazed by the night view, Amber would still press his nose against the glass and look out.

I suppose that’s what they call a memory. So, in the end, Tennessee decided on that house from back then. It was a huge relief that it was possible.

“Amber.”

He called out as a test, but Amber didn’t wake. Perhaps the fatigue of several days had accumulated. Not wanting to wake him, Tennessee pulled the nearby wheelchair toward him. He was glad his left hand was fine. If he couldn’t even move his left hand, wouldn’t the frustration have shortened his lifespan?

“Whew…”

Tennessee had to break into a sweat just to get into the wheelchair alone. His legs weren’t comfortable, and it was grueling to support his entire body with only his left hand. The only saving grace was that Amber had locked the wheels of the wheelchair. If not, he wouldn’t have succeeded because the chair would have slid around.

After much struggle, Tennessee sat in the wheelchair and wiped his forehead, which was drenched in sweat.

Getting into the chair was the only hard part; everything else went smoothly. Seeing Tennessee coming, people held the elevator for him for a long time. He gestured for them to go ahead, saying it was fine, but a middle-aged woman, perhaps pitying him for moving with only one hand, even pushed him.

“How did you get hurt?”

Tennessee didn’t answer, as he found it tedious, but the woman began to weave a story on her own: “How pitiful, it must have been an accident.”

“My son Jeremy also had a car accident…”

Since he didn’t particularly mind listening, Tennessee just nodded vaguely. He received other small bits of help as well and didn’t refuse. He figured that as long as it wasn’t a huge favor, it was fine to accept.

And when Tennessee returned to the room, the door was wide open. Tennessee froze and scanned the atmosphere.

Amber was sitting alone. He seemed to have woken up a while ago, as there were no traces of sleepiness. Tennessee pushed the wheelchair with one hand with difficulty, and because the sound was quiet, Amber didn’t notice him immediately.

As he entered, the Amber Tennessee saw looked as if he were wearing a rigid mask. It was an expressionless face Tennessee had never seen before. It was as if his expression had been washed away, leaving a blank slate. A face that any emotion would fit upon. He wouldn’t have been surprised if there had been anger lurking behind that blankness.

“What are you doing?”

“Tennessee?”

Amber jumped up. His face was bright, contrasting so sharply that the previous expressionless look seemed like an illusion.

“Where did you go?”

Tennessee narrowed his brows at the expression that changed the moment he was discovered.

“A walk. What’s wrong?”

No, just,

“I thought you ran away.”

The tone was full of mischief, but there was a sting to the message.

“Why would I run away?”

“True, you’re right.”

Amber, who looked as if he were thinking deeply, spoke with a face of conviction.

“You have surgery this week; how could you possibly leave?”

“….”

Amber had become even more cynical in the time they hadn’t seen each other.

Then, Amber marveled at how he had managed to get into the wheelchair alone. Before Tennessee could say anything, Amber deftly locked the wheelchair and leaned in close. He meant for Tennessee to wrap his arm around his neck. The method was for Tennessee to hang onto Amber’s neck with one arm, and then Amber would lift him to help him sit in the chair—otherwise, Amber’s only option would be to lift him up completely in his arms.

It was a contact he could never get used to, but it was better than being held romantically. Hiding his reluctance, Tennessee wrapped his arm around.

“Did you enjoy your walk?”

Their upper bodies were pressed close, and ticklish breath touched his neck and shoulder. Amber wrapped his arm around Tennessee’s waist. The arm touching across his back felt unfamiliar. The old Amber had been small enough to dangle from him.

“Yeah.”

“Let’s go together next time.”

Amber suggested as he helped Tennessee back into the bed without any effort.

“Let’s eat ice cream together.”

Tennessee nodded at Amber’s words.