#178

‘This is fucking hilarious.’

The paper crane bobbed up and down as if it were dancing.

[Just kill me! I would rather die than suffer such humiliation!]

“That means you can’t kill yourself.”

As if he had been hit where it hurts, the paper crane flinched.

‘I was worried he might pull the plug and bolt halfway through, but it looks like that won’t happen.’

“…There’s something I’ve always wondered.”

[Do you think I will answer you! You snake-and-scorpion-like creature!]

“Why do you love mindless rushing so much? Especially for a god who presides over war.”

And when people think of war, the imagery of World War II is far more intense.

Why come to a medieval era and praise one-on-one combat?

Even if the Plague God’s prime was during the Black Death of the Middle Ages….

‘No, seriously, strategy was important even in the actual Middle Ages.’

“Isn’t war essentially strategy? No matter how strong a single soldier is, they can’t have a huge impact on the outcome of a war. Conversely, one wrong judgment by a strategist can lead tens of thousands of trained soldiers to meaningless deaths. So why do you ignore strategy?”

[Absurd. To think you would ask such a stupid question.]

‘…Hearing this from the War God of all people is fucking infuriating.’

[Because you do not understand the essence of war, you committed such shameless acts as bloodless victories when you served me. Inciting internal strife and making the persecuted side open the city gates on their own? And then marching through a crowd of people welcoming your rule? You think that is war?]

“Then what is it?”

[You ignorant fool!! That is not war!]

‘He talks like a total old-school boomer.’

“Isn’t war ultimately about territorial expansion? The goal of war lords is to unify the world. So I unified it. What on earth was missing?”

[War!]

Is this bastard’s cry just “War!”?

[What you did was eliminate war! Not keep it going! The Cult Leader you led called himself the ‘One Who Ends War.’ To serve War while seeking to end war is a contradiction in terms!]

“…That was more like a declaration that I would unify the continent in my generation.”

[Continental unification is fine! But why on earth did you take care of internal affairs while expanding your territory!]

“What…. That’s how a state is maintained. Otherwise, a succession war would break out in the next generation and the empire would split.”

[Exactly! Then war would break out! A war where those who were once on the same side slaughter each other!]

I furrowed my brows.

So, he hates it when war ends and peace comes?

[I have always been betrayed! Conqueror lords are cunning and shameless; once they have acquired enough land to be satisfied, they abandon me to serve other gods! Even worse are those who call my name while trying to change my essence. ‘The other face of the War God is the God of Peace,’ ‘We fought to eliminate war, for the sake of lasting peace!’ Those who spout such bullshit! How dare they! How dare they!]

“…Then why not just go with the flow and be a God of Peace?”

[I would rather be abandoned and forgotten than be worshipped by disgusting creatures who call the river where they floated the corpses of their enemies their ‘lifeline,’ and have their crotches touched every time they mention the Blessing of Fertility during worship!]

“…Was that a personal experience?”

[I did not experience such things! For I am War. That which is not war is not me! Therefore, the one who ended up in such a state was not me!]

‘He must have some trauma from that.’

Judging by how violently he denies it.

[One who forgets who they were dies, even if they are a god. No, they die because they are a god. Lowly creatures live on even without knowing what they are, but a god cannot. You too will experience such a thing once you lose your physical body.]

‘So he’s not playing a character because it’s fun, but for survival.’

Annihilation the moment you lose your concept—that’s hardcore.

“…So, suddenly charging in without a strategy and winning by some fluke is what’s closest to your essence?”

[Every word you speak is an insult. Once The ‘Stars’ open, I will seize you, rip off your limbs, and make you my herald. Those who hear your story beyond the city walls will feel the urge to gouge out their own ears.]

‘He’s basically admitting he’s fucking hurt right now.’

[I do not hate strategy. I hate those who call themselves strategists!]

“…What does that mean?”

[Strategists usually do not believe in gods. They think that if the conditions are met, victory follows. They accept even a sudden weather anomaly not as divine intervention, but as a weapon that can be utilized by the one who reads the ‘weather’ better. A strategist offers sacrifices to the heavens while viewing it all as a farce for the foolish commoners. They calculate that doing such things will boost morale and increase the win rate, and thus they offer the sacrifice. How could I cherish such creatures?]

“Anyway, if you win….”

[Hah. Even after such an explanation, you do not understand. You still think you are human, don’t you? I will put it in a way you like. You grow yeast to get alcohol. Adjusting the temperature and supplying sugar is all to obtain alcohol. But what if, at some point, those yeasts only produce methanol? What do you think should be done with them?]

‘…Yeast.’

Is he comparing humans who produce Faith to yeast causing alcohol fermentation?

[They must all be killed. No, killing them is not enough. To ensure that the new yeast brought in is not contaminated, not a single spore, not a single trace or record must remain. What I desire is yeast that stably brews alcohol. Therefore, if one that produces something strange appears, it must be removed quickly. Increasing the number of believers is not the only solution! If you accept anything and don’t clean up in time like you do, it won’t be yeast but mold that proliferates, and soon only completely useless things will come out. I can clearly see a future where you drink methanol and go blind in both eyes!]

“So you want a land where peace doesn’t exist and war happens eternally?”

[Correct. A place where blood is covered by blood, and where war is worshipped to end war. It does not matter if the names of the War Gods they believe in are different. In the end, all war belongs to me. I shall be worshipped there eternally!]

“And if war eventually stops? Do you die then?”

[Hmph. As long as the concept of war does not vanish from the entire universe, I shall not be annihilated. In fact, the ‘War’ you may meet once The ‘Stars’ open is not the Main Body. Do you reveal your entire body when communicating with microbes? A single droplet of spit you spray while talking is larger than the world those microbes can perceive.]

‘He keeps using microbe analogies, which doesn’t suit him at all.’

“In conclusion, why not just become the god of ants? They’re the ones who fight eternally. Oh, I’m asking because I’m genuinely curious, not to insult you.”

[…Do you think those things believe in a god? Do ants pray before they fight and offer spoils to a god when they win? Faith Points cannot be obtained from things without a Soul.]

“What about acts that mimic war? Can you get points from those? Like gladiator fights or sports.”

[You seem confident that you can survive by eating leaves arranged by children playing house?]

“Creating a peaceful thousand-year empire through bloodless victory VS committing mass suicide because you cannot surrender before the final defeat. If you had to choose one?”

[The latter is obviously better.]

‘He really doesn’t fit with me at all.’

Just having him in my mouth for a moment made my stomach churn.

Eating something like this would definitely give me an upset stomach.

“You’re answering quite diligently. Earlier you were trembling, saying you wouldn’t answer.”

[Kuh. That was because you….]

“Because I what? More importantly, you use a lot of analogies that don’t suit you. I expected a lot of boomer-like examples. Yeast? Where did you learn a word like that? I doubt the War God, even if he likes alcohol, would be interested in the fermentation process….”

[That is also because of you! Because you swallowed me and spat me out!]

“Does that matter?”

[Gods use analogies because you cannot understand the language of gods. We choose words from your crude language to explain things. Since you tore me out of that, the only words I can use now are the ones you know! If you don’t like the vocabulary, look back at your own Wernicke’s area!]

“…That means you’ve become my Vassal!”

[No! I have not succumbed to you!]

‘Then if I make him succumb, will he listen to me?’

I tried pulling the paper crane’s wing, but the Helper of the War God only looked annoyed and didn’t seem to be in much pain.

[Do you think I will crumble from such a trifle of humiliation!]

‘Maybe it would have been better to possess a living creature.’

Considering his trauma from becoming the God of Fertility, maybe possessing a pregnant rat….

‘No, that’s a bit much.’

I’d feel bad for the rat.

Though I don’t care about this guy.

‘More importantly, it seems he can’t feel pain if he’s not possessing a living thing.’

Though he seems to hate it when someone else’s divine power touches him.

I chewed on the crane’s head, pondering how to get the War God to surrender completely.

[T-this is nothing! Go ahead, keep doing it!]

‘…Is he secretly enjoying this?’

Maybe he can receive a bit of divine power while being touched like this?

Considering there was a trait called ‘Lying on firewood and tasting gall’ when playing as the War God, where Faith Points accumulated the more one chewed over humiliation….

“Fabio! Me too! Please bite me too! Me too!”

“…This is truly a petty fight. Is this the level of the war of gods? Chewing on a paper crane?”

“Well, you were controlled by a paper crane like this. You got anything to say?”

[I am not a paper crane!]

“Then what are you?”

[I am….]

“Surely you’re not going to give me the name of the Great War God?”

I sneered, pulling the wing wide.

“War? This? Where? Is there anything left in you that could be called war? Forget war, I can’t even attach the modifier ‘fight’ to you. A paper frog could at least have a long-jump competition. What can you, a paper crane with legs, do? Tremble?”

[T-this is merely the vessel you trapped me in to mock me! It is not my essence!]

“Wow, but to still consider yourself a part of war even in this state—isn’t that truly a delusion? I bet the War God beyond The ‘Stars’ would see you and cut ties, saying ‘That’s not me.’”

[Your tongue is like a sword with a saw-blade. You cruel person who loves tearing the flesh of others! You shall receive back exactly what you have spat out!]

“Hmm? Do my words hurt? Are you trembling like this because it hurts? Oh, come to think of it, you said a god who forgets who they were dies, right? You’re in a state that can hardly be called a god, but since you lack a physical body, you’ll end up like that soon, won’t you? You won’t be able to think of yourself as war anymore. Then you’ll meet a very miserable and ridiculous death as a limp paper crane. No, should I call it a rebirth? Your identity will soon change to the god of trembling paper cranes. Just like when you became the benevolent God of Fertility, letting a plump and lovely baby suckle on your swollen breasts.”

[I told you that was not me!]

“Hmm. Now that I think about it, I don’t quite understand. Why isn’t the God of Fertility war? The children born will eventually become warriors, won’t they? Isn’t population the most important factor in war? In that sense, the God of Fertility is a wonderful God of War. At least more so than you, a paper crane.”

[Y-you Sophist! If I am not war, then what am I!]

‘He’s planting his own defeat flag.’

I gently stroked the paper crane’s head.

“I wonder? What are you? That’s what you wanted to know, right? Still, since I made you, I should give you a name. You are now ‘Padeul Padeul.’ A cute paper crane whose only skill is trembling like this. That is you. Hello, Padeul Padeul. The reason you exist is to entertain me by trembling every time I say a word.”

[No! No! Nooooo!!]

The paper crane shrieked.

‘It would be troublesome if he actually dies.’

What I need is the ‘Helper of the War God.’

Not a trembling paper crane.

“No? Then how do you think you can remain as war? You’re a paper crane.”

[I still have the Vassals of War….]

“Do you think I’ll let you handle them?”

[…Kuh. Those defeated in war are destined to die in shame. That too is a part of war. I shall accept death. Even in death, I shall close my eyes as War!]

“I’m asking if you think I’ll just let you die like that. You can’t even commit suicide in this state.”

The paper crane’s wings fluttered.

[…The moment I think I am not war, I vanish. That is the end. Is that not the situation you desire? To make me unable to consider myself war any longer. Since you’ve made me die with nothing but your Silver Tongue, your Affinity will surely rise.]

“My, giving up already? Can you still call yourself a part of the War God? Oh, Helper of the War God, please raise your intelligence. To give up when there are still ways to win the war—are you not ashamed?”

[What kind of sophistry are you going to spout now!]

“You have a trait called ‘Lying on firewood and tasting gall.’ Even if you don’t, you should be able to purchase it from the shop at your discretion. If you have that, wouldn’t you be able to gain points every time you suffer humiliation from me? Enduring humiliation to gather strength and eventually win is a magnificent ‘war.’ Therefore, as long as you dream of revenge against me, you can be ‘war’ no matter what insults you suffer. Even taking such a humiliating form becomes a strategy to obtain more points.”

[…And? What do you hope to gain by manipulating me with that Silver Tongue of yours?]

‘He’s actually being suspicious.’

“I know nothing. What the essence is, how a god dies, why great beings like the Othergods are playing these games with insignificant creatures. I want to know those things. For that, you must be more than a mere paper crane; you must be an avatar and proxy of an ‘Othergod.’ Only then can you give me information.”

[Absurd. Do you think I will move according to your words?]

“I don’t think you’re such an idiot that you’d give up the possibility of winning just because you don’t like listening to someone else.”

[And in the end, you intend to swallow me, don’t you? I am well aware that you use bizarre and vicious methods!]

“Hilarious. Even if you begged me to eat you, I wouldn’t eat something as tasteless as you. If you don’t like it, just become a paper crane. Padeul Padeul. You actually played the War God because you wanted to be belittled like this, didn’t you? If everyone believes in you in a land of eternal war, doesn’t that mean you’ve lost as many times as you’ve won? Then you’re also a god of defeat, aren’t you? No, actually, defeat is closer to your essence, isn’t it? You wanted to be a prisoner of war and suffer a humiliating and miserable fate, but the victory I achieved left even the succumbed filled with joy and happiness, so you didn’t like that, right? Oh dear, I didn’t realize that. My apologies. When I write the new scriptures, I’ll be sure to write that our Padeul Padeul loves being stepped on. In the kingdom I establish, all dog toys will be shaped like paper cranes. You’ll be bitten, torn, stepped on, and soaked in dog urine every day. How about it? Doesn’t just imagining it feel good?”

The smell of red rust grew stronger from the paper crane.

‘This bastard bought the trait.’

I grinned and chewed on the paper crane again.

“You actually like that kind of thing, which is why you said you’d do the same for me. Treat others as you wish to be treated. Isn’t that right?”

[Kuh…. I can no longer endure such humiliation! Burn me this instant!]

“My, my. It’s not very convincing to say that while having ‘Lying on firewood and tasting gall’ active. You don’t actually want to die, do you? How cute.”

I could feel the paper crane shivering inside my mouth.

“Good choice. You have to be alive to get your revenge. If you keep collecting points like that, who knows? Maybe one day you’ll see me prostrate before you, begging for forgiveness.”

[…No, that will never happen. Because the first thing I’ll do is cut out your tongue!]

‘This bastard is already imagining it in detail.’

What a funny guy.

In the end, doing as I say only serves to raise my Affinity.

See, here comes the notification that he’s been influenced….

[SYSTEM: ‘Padeul Padeul’ (Helper of the War God) has been deeply influenced by your words!]

[SYSTEM: An anecdote has been added to the achievement ‘Miracle of the Silver Tongue.’]

[SYSTEM: Affinity has increased very slightly.]

‘…Is he actually a Padeul Padeul now?’