23 – Making Spring Like Spring

“Team Leader Yoo, I was so worried because you said you were sick. Strangely, you look even better now.”

The design team members had come to the cafeteria for lunch. As Eun-soo scooped a spoonful of rice and brought it to his mouth, Seo-young, who was sitting opposite him, spoke. At the words that somehow made him feel uncomfortable, Eun-soo stopped with the spoon in mid-air. His large eyes stiffened.

Another team member eating beside them nodded in agreement.

“That’s true. I’m not trying to subtly imply that you just played around while saying you were sick, but you definitely seem to have lost some weight, yet your expression is… good, shall we say?”

Eun-soo finally put down his spoon. The eyes of the three team members stared intently at him. It wasn’t as if Eun-soo, of all people, would have spent his sick leave living in luxury, and even if he had, there was no need for it; the company wasn’t the kind where one had to walk on eggshells to use annual or monthly leave.

That’s why they were curious. What was the reason Eun-soo’s face looked better after being sick?

Eun-soo hesitated for a moment before telling a convenient truth.

“Yesterday was, uh, my parents’ anniversary of death…”

“Oh my…”

“Oh no… I’m so sorry.”

“No, it’s okay. I think it’s because I went and cried my eyes out, so my heart feels a bit lighter. You know how it is. How you feel a bit relieved after crying while watching a sad movie.”

Eun-soo spoke softly. Though a few lies were mixed in, he figured it didn’t matter since they weren’t malicious lies. Eun-soo had become a shrewd adult capable of smoothly navigating such situations.

The team members glanced at each other. Eun-soo told them once more that he was fine and picked up his utensils. The samgyetang with a whole chicken in it was delicious. The team members remained stiff, but he didn’t mind.

I’ll eat more after this, then I’ll mix the rice in, and for dessert, I’ll have mint chocolate ice cream. He was simply having those trivial but happy thoughts.

[Eun-soo.]

[Can I leave now?]

Twenty minutes before 6 o’clock. As usual, a message came from Do-kwon. Staring at the message, Eun-soo tapped his desk with his index finger—tap, tap, tap. After about three minutes, he sent a reply.

[I have a lot of work today, so I think I’ll finish late.]

The read receipt appeared as soon as he hit the send button. It seemed Do-kwon had been waiting with his phone on. A smile touched Eun-soo’s lips as he imagined Do-kwon sitting in the CEO’s office, gripping the phone with those large hands and staring intently.

[When?]

[When do you finish?]

[Will it be very late?]

[Why is there so much work?]

[-Emoticon of someone crying and hitting the ground]

Eun-soo burst out laughing. After barely composing himself, he replied again.

[I didn’t like the poster design for next month’s event, so I scrapped it a few times.]

[I think I’ll finish around 8.]

[Do you want to come then?]

Again, the read receipt appeared immediately.

[Got it.]

Even after answering, Do-kwon kept messaging, asking what if he got hungry, or if he should buy some snacks and bring them. Eun-soo told him there were plenty of snacks in the breakroom and that he was too busy to reply further, and then he stopped responding.

Ten minutes before 6. Eun-soo saved the files filling his monitor and tidied his desk. Then, exactly at 6, he told the team members to go home. With their usual ‘sharp exit,’ the team members left the office with beaming faces.

Eun-soo stood up about three minutes later.

Re-confirming the message from an anonymous sender: [Underground Parking Lot 3rd Floor D].

Since joining the company ‘First Season,’ Eun-soo had never gone down to the underground parking lot. It was because Do-kwon had dropped him off and picked him up every single day without fail.

There weren’t many cars in the parking lot. Presumably, not many people went down to the third basement level. The smooth gray floor and the white fluorescent lights characteristic of underground parking lots created a strange atmosphere.

Eun-soo looked around extensively, searching for the owner of the message that had called him here. Where is Section D? If here is C, then D is… just as he was thinking, a black sedan stopped in front of him. The passenger window rolled down, and he saw a familiar face in the driver’s seat.

Eun-soo gave a slight bow. The driver nodded back.

“Please get in.”

At the short invitation, Eun-soo climbed into the back seat. Soon, the car set off.

The car stopped in front of a large gallery. The gallery, which looked like both a successful conglomerate building and an ancient temple, was the largest in the country and a place Eun-soo had visited often. Though he hadn’t been able to come once since he had slit his wrists.

Eun-soo entered the gallery with a face as excited as a child at an amusement park. Immediately, a staff member, as if having been waiting for him, hurried to his side and led the way.

Eun-soo followed the staff member, looking around. After crossing a spacious hall and passing through a white corridor, a private space appeared. It had the atmosphere of a luxurious tea house. There, the person who had called Eun-soo was waiting.

It was a woman dressed in a tweed jacket and suit pants. She was talking to someone who appeared to be a staff member.

“B isn’t here?”

“Yes. They are not currently at the gallery. They went to Hong Kong for an auction… They expressed great regret that they couldn’t personally welcome the Chairperson upon receiving notice of the visit.”

“Tsk… It’s my fault for coming without saying anything.”

“Instead, B instructed us to set aside some wonderful paintings that would please the Chairperson. Shall I guide you?”

“B did? Then of course, if B recommended them, I must see them.”

It was Myeong-hui. As she nodded and stood up, she spotted Eun-soo. Eun-soo bowed his waist in greeting.

“Hello, Chairperson.”

“Oh, oh, yes, Eun-soo. You’ve come?”

Myeong-hui hurried toward Eun-soo, her heels clicking. Eun-soo smiled and bowed again. Myeong-hui tenderly took his hand. Then, she spoke a word of excuse to the staff member.

“Just a moment, I’ll look at the paintings in a bit. We’ll take a walk just between us. Just assign one curator to us.”

“Yes, Chairperson.”

The staff member nodded and stepped back. Myeong-hui led Eun-soo toward the exhibition hall. Just as the two entered, a curator quietly fell in behind them. She followed them from a distance of about three steps. She felt more like a personal secretary than a curator.

Eun-soo and Myeong-hui slowly scanned the paintings. The works filled with rich colors were a delight to the eyes.

“Did you come straight from work?”

Myeong-hui asked.

“Yes,” Eun-soo replied.

“You must be tired. I shouldn’t keep you long.”

“It’s okay. It’s not like I’m doing physical labor. It’s not tiring.”

A brief silence followed Eun-soo’s words. Then Eun-soo asked how she had been, and Myeong-hui replied that she was well. After that, there was silence again. Then Myeong-hui asked about his health and recent news.

Such trivial, useless conversations repeated for about thirty minutes. Before they knew it, they had toured half of the exhibition. During that time, Myeong-hui pointed to a few paintings and signaled the curator. The curator nodded and tapped the tablet she was holding. Likely, once the exhibition ended, the pieces Myeong-hui had signaled would be delivered to her private storage.

Watching this, Eun-soo licked his dry lips. He stopped in his tracks and called out to Myeong-hui.

“Chairman.”

“Yes, sweetheart.”

Myeong-hui stopped as well and turned back to look at Eun-soo.

“Please buy me a painting too.”

Eun-soo spoke boldly. Since Eun-soo had never asked for anything to be bought for him in his entire life, Myeong-hui’s eyebrows shot up.

“A painting? Which one do you want? I’ll buy you anything.”

“This one.”

Eun-soo pointed to a painting beside him. It was a piece where thick mountains rose above a vast lake, and blue-green trees and grasses, heavy with moisture, were depicted in meticulous detail. If one only heard the description, it might seem like a common, unremarkable painting, but the atmosphere was peculiar.

Mist filled the gaps between the mountains and the grass, yet the world reflected in the lake was clean and vivid. It was a dreamlike painting, making it impossible to distinguish which was the real world and which was the reflection.

Myeong-hui nodded without a moment’s hesitation.

“Alright. I’ll buy that one for you. But where… should I have it sent?”

Her eyes sank calmly. Eun-soo’s pupils also grew still. After a brief pause, Eun-soo smiled faintly.

“…To Do-kwon’s house.”

“….”

Myeong-hui’s lips, painted in red lipstick, parted slightly. The corners of her eyes, which were always sharp like a tiger’s, drooped downward. Seeing Myeong-hui’s evident shock, Eun-soo added softly.

“The wall between the bedroom and the study is empty. I thought it would look good there.”

“…Eun-soo.”

Myeong-hui closed her eyes tightly and then opened them. She hurried over to stand in front of Eun-soo. With trembling hands, she clasped Eun-soo’s hand.

“Thank you, Eun-soo.”

“….”

“Thank you, truly.”

“….”

“And I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I will spend the rest of my life living with a heart of apology toward you. I will treat you well. I’ll do everything you want.”

The words were steeped in desperate sincerity. At the same time, they reminded him of someone else. As expected of father and daughter; even the way they apologized and sought atonement was so similar.

“I’m not sure if there’s anything left for you to do, Chairman.”

“Hmm?”

“Do-kwon said he would do everything for me, too.”

Eun-soo gave a silly little laugh. Myeong-hui stared at that smile with a blank expression. Then, she followed suit with a faint smile.

“I can do everything better than that fellow. Keep your eyes wide open and watch. See who does things better and who doesn’t.”

“…Yes. I will.”

I’ll watch. I’ll watch how he does. And I’ll watch how my feelings for him change. I’ll keep my eyes wide open and watch.

After ending his meeting with Myeong-hui, Eun-soo arrived back at the company’s underground parking lot. Myeong-hui’s secretary gave a slight nod of greeting and departed. Watching the sedan drive away, he took his phone out of his coat pocket. As expected, there was a message from Do-kwon.

[I’m in front of the company.]

[Take your time coming out.]

[I miss you.]

Telling me to take my time and then immediately saying he misses me. Eun-soo let out a short laugh. Staring at the brief message, Eun-soo tapped out a reply.

[I’ll wrap things up and be right there.]

Standing before the elevator, Eun-soo pressed the button to go up.

* * *

Saturday morning. Eun-soo and Do-kwon had brunch at a nearby restaurant. This was because the moment Eun-soo opened his eyes, he had shouted for Eggs Benedict. Eun-soo polished off two servings of Eggs Benedict and then devoured an omelet, French toast, and even waffles.

Do-kwon, who had finished his breakfast lightly with Eggs Benedict and an omelet, watched Eun-soo eat while sipping black coffee.

After the meal, they strolled along a street lined with cozy cafes. Having eaten his fill of delicious food, Eun-soo seemed to be in a great mood. The bright sunlight and mild warmth, unusual for a winter morning, contributed to that good mood.

Having taken off his outer coat, Eun-soo walked the streets in a thick hoodie. His footsteps, hitting and leaving the ground, could not have been more cheerful. Watching this, Do-kwon suddenly wrinkled his nose.

He suddenly wondered what God had been thinking when He created Eun-soo like this.

How could someone be so cute and lovely just by walking? Why did the sunlight filtering through his hair sparkle so exceptionally? How was the white steam flowing from between his lips so mysterious, and his laughter so refreshing and special?

It was all a mystery. Then, it suddenly clicked. God must have found Eun-soo lovely too. He must have been captivated by that loveliness even before he was born and made him so radiant. Eun-soo’s existence was inexplicable unless it was the result of God’s discriminatory favor.

“I’ll carry it.”

Do-kwon deftly took his jacket, which Eun-soo had been holding.

“….”

Eun-soo, who handed over the jacket obediently, let out a faint laugh. Facing that miracle-like smile, Do-kwon lost himself for a moment before smiling back.

After walking for about twenty minutes, the two turned back toward where the car was parked. It was time to return home.

Do-kwon swallowed hard. An impure desire was poking its head out.

Do-kwon’s fingertips curled and uncurled restlessly. He glanced down at Eun-soo’s hand. The white, slender hand was shimmering softly. Perhaps because of the winter wind, the fingertips were slightly red, and they were truly… so beautiful he wanted to suck on them.

I want to hold his hand. I want to hold it. I haven’t held it once since that time at the movie theater. He seems to be in a good mood today, so should I try bringing it up?

Do-kwon’s lips twitched, his hands fidgeted, and his Adam’s apple bobbed up and down. Then, Eun-soo, who had been staring straight ahead, asked in a flat voice.

“Do you want to hold my hand that badly?”

“Yeah. …Huh?”

Do-kwon, who had answered instinctively, came to a dead stop. His thick eyebrows formed perfect half-moons, and his eyes widened. He looked genuinely shocked. At the sight of Do-kwon’s rare expression, Eun-soo giggled.

“I wondered why the back of my hand kept feeling ticklish. It was because of you, Do-kwon.”

“Uh… ah… sorry….”

Do-kwon apologized stammeringly. At his clumsy appearance, Eun-soo burst into laughter again. He used to grab him so boldly before. He used to say he wanted to kiss him, ask him to let him, or ask to do it one more time without even blinking. In times like this, he was no different from a naive person who had never dated in his life.

He had felt this for a while, but Do-kwon’s sequence of events tended to… flow in reverse. When it seemed absolutely impossible and hopeless, he would push forward haphazardly. But once the atmosphere relaxed, emotions began to flutter, and things became peaceful, he would walk on eggshells even for the smallest thing.

How should he put it? In a relationship that was already completely shattered and broken, he would struggle desperately to glue it back together. But in a relationship that had taken a fairly intact shape, he was terrified that it might break or that a crack might form.

Before, he had wondered why this man was like this. Why was he so brazen and self-centered? But after experiencing it a few times, the pattern became clear.

“Here.”

Eun-soo reached his hand out toward Do-kwon. The clear, flat palm bestowed a miracle upon Do-kwon.

“Hold it, hurry.”

Eun-soo fluttered his hand. Then, as he started to lower it, saying, “If you don’t want to, then forget it,” Do-kwon quickly grabbed his hand. He gently kneaded Eun-soo, who now fit within his grasp. Feeling Eun-soo like that, a bright smile spread across his face.

“Thank you, Eun-soo.”

“….”

Watching that smile, Eun-soo smiled back.

The two walked the path, holding hands tightly. They passed pretty cafes, skeletal trees, chattering people, and the subway entrance. It was just as they reached the parking lot and got into the car.

Do-kwon’s chest vibrated heavily. A phone call was coming in. Do-kwon lightly ignored the call. He didn’t want anyone to disturb him while he was with Eun-soo.

Soon the vibration stopped. But after a few seconds, it rang again. Do-kwon ignored it again and started the engine, but—

“Answer it.”

Eun-soo, who had been sipping a Dalgona latte he bought on the way, spoke. It was a request closer to consideration than a command. Like a well-behaved dog, Do-kwon immediately took out his phone. However, the number was quite unfamiliar. Frowning slightly, Do-kwon swiped the answer button.

“Yes. Who is this? …Ah, yes. Hello. …Yes. …The delivery?”

Do-kwon, responding diligently, tilted his head to the side.

“I didn’t order anything… Isn’t this a mistake?”

At those words, Eun-soo, who had been silent, took a sharp breath. He remembered the gallery he had visited with Myeong-hui about a month ago. Eun-soo tapped Do-kwon’s forearm urgently and spoke.

“I, I, I ordered something. It’s not a mistake. Let’s go home, hurry, hurry.”

Prompted by his urgency, Do-kwon stepped hard on the accelerator.

The people from the gallery were kind. They personally hung the beautifully wrapped painting and explained how to maintain it. Once he signed the confirmation of receipt, they left with a smile.

Eun-soo stared silently at the painting, which was well over two meters wide. Paintings are truly mysterious. The impression changed entirely depending on the place and the mindset of the viewer. When he saw it at the gallery, he thought it was bleak. But now that it was in the house, the blue leaves reflected in the lake could not have been more refreshing.

Perhaps it looked prettier now because it was his, whereas it had belonged to someone else when it was hanging in the gallery.

As Eun-soo looked at the painting with proud eyes, Do-kwon came and stood beside him.

“When did you buy this?”

Do-kwon asked.

“I met the Chairman.”

Eun-soo answered. It was an answer that didn’t quite fit the question.

“….”

Do-kwon’s mouth closed in a straight line. Eun-soo had met Myeong-hui. This was a fact he hadn’t known. Yet, Do-kwon didn’t press him on when they met, why they met, or why he hadn’t told him. This was because he could deduce all the answers from this painting.

The painting was delivered from the gallery. Paintings purchased from a gallery take quite some time for delivery. This is because they are shipped after the exhibition period ends and after an inspection. That meant Eun-soo and Myeong-hui had met at least a month ago.

The reason for the meeting was obvious. Myeong-hui must have called him out with the intention of stealing Eun-soo away. The half-year they had agreed upon had long since passed.

No wonder. He didn’t give me any hint.

And through this painting, he could also tell what answer Eun-soo had given during that meeting. Myeong-hui wouldn’t have bought him a painting out of the blue. It would be one thing if she bought him clothes or food. But buying a ‘painting’ for Eun-soo, who lives in ‘Do-kwon’s house’… it must be because Eun-soo wanted it.

So, to summarize.

Eun-soo asked Myeong-hui to buy him a painting,

And he chose ‘Do-kwon’s house’ as the place to hang it.

It meant he intended to stay by his side for a long time—long enough for a painting to hang there.

“Ah….”

Thinking that far, Do-kwon covered his mouth. Otherwise, he felt like he might scream. His eyes began to sting. Something hot surged up from within him. His legs felt shaky, and before he knew it, he had collapsed onto his knees on the floor.

Do-kwon’s eyes turned bright red. His breath hitched and twisted, and his shoulders trembled with spasms. Unlike Do-kwon, Eun-soo was admiring the painting with a peaceful face.

“The painting is pretty, isn’t it?”

“Ugh… Eun-soo…”

“It’ll look different tomorrow, different if I see it by chance, and different if I catch a glimpse of it.”

“Huuu….”

Do-kwon, kneeling before Eun-soo, let heavy tears fall. His distorted eyes became damp in an instant. His trembling lips parted, but he couldn’t dare utter a single word.

The kind Eun-soo whispered on Do-kwon’s behalf.

“I want to live now, cherishing and looking forward to those small changes.”

“Ah… sob, ugh…”

“Not the things that have passed. In the spring, looking forward to the painting dyed in spring sunlight. In the winter, looking forward to the painting frozen in the cold. Looking forward to how the colors will fade and change after one year, ten years… I want to live like that.”

Eun-soo’s sweet voice fell like a drizzle over Do-kwon’s bowed head. Do-kwon, not knowing how to express this gratitude, could only tremble his chin like an idiot. Eun-soo crouched down in front of him. He gazed quietly at Do-kwon’s messily distorted face.

“You’ll… let me live like that, right?”

“Of course. Ugh, of course, Eun-soo. I’ll do my best. I’ll work hard.”

Do-kwon nodded frantically like a fervent believer. Tears clinging to the tip of his chin fell, splashing onto the floor. Looking at Eun-soo’s clear face, Do-kwon forced the corners of his trembling lips upward. He had a strange face, smiling while crying. He looked foolish, yet pitiful.

“Thank you… Thank you, Eun-soo…”

Do-kwon rubbed his forehead against Eun-soo’s delicate instep. Then, he pressed a reverent kiss there.

My obedience to you. My life to you. My everything to you.

Pressing his lips there, Do-kwon pushed himself up from the floor and lifted his face. Eun-soo personally wiped Do-kwon’s damp cheeks. He was that composed.

He hadn’t forgiven anyone, hadn’t given up on anything, nor had he forgotten the past. He had simply let go a little, just a tiny bit. Yet, his heart felt miraculously light. Smiling became easy, facing Do-kwon was no longer painful, and the future no longer felt bleak.

Eun-soo finally felt he understood, if only a little, why God had kept him alive.

* * *

Holding a watering can, Do-kwon gently watered a tree. It was merely the act of watering a plant, but his expression was so solemn. He looked like an engineer handling a precision machine.

Eun-soo was sitting with his hips against the area where the living room met the balcony, watching Do-kwon tend to the tree. The sky, just entering spring, shot down bright sunlight like a flashlight. The tree, receiving that mild sunlight and the cool water Do-kwon poured, seemed to be smiling in happiness.

With a professional touch, Do-kwon inspected the leaves and trimmed the small branches. Then, he sat down beside Eun-soo. Because his legs were so long, he had to sit with them heavily folded, but perhaps because he was next to Eun-soo, it wasn’t uncomfortable—it was wonderful.

As Do-kwon enjoyed the leisurely afternoon, breathing in Eun-soo’s scent, Eun-soo pointed to the tree. Specifically, to the nameplate hanging on it.

“This.”

The nameplate with Eun-soo’s name and the date revealed the identity of the tree. It was also the sin that Do-kwon had to carry.

“Yes.”

“Should we change the name to Bomi’s Tree?”

“…Huh?”

“I need something to remember Bomi by. The baby shoes feel too bitter and dry. Since I’m alive and well, let’s make the tree Bomi’s share.”

At the unexpected suggestion, Do-kwon shut his mouth tight. Then, Eun-soo gently stroked the nameplate and added.

“You said it, Do-kwon. That it doesn’t know how to be cold even when it’s freezing, and its leaves don’t fall. I want our Bomi to be green all through the four seasons. I think this tree would be better than a flower that blooms brilliantly for only a few days.”

“…Alright. I’ll go get a new nameplate made.”

Do-kwon nodded. The two stared at the nameplate for a moment. Then, Eun-soo spoke again.

“Don’t put the date. Just ‘Bomi’s Tree’.”

“I understand.”

Do-kwon was obedient. He was like a well-behaved child. Eun-soo let out a small laugh and then a short sigh.

“Don’t ask Secretary Jeong to do it. I’d feel bad asking him for something like this.”

At those words, Do-kwon looked at Eun-soo. After blinking a few times, he smiled faintly.

“I won’t ask him for this. The things I must do, I do myself. Because it only has meaning if I do it.”

“….”

“I took a shovel and dug up this tree myself. I picked the pot, and I asked around to buy the best soil.”

“….”

“Because it’s… something I must do.”

Eun-soo stared intently at Do-kwon. Then, as if praising him, he gently stroked the back of Do-kwon’s hand. Do-kwon flipped his hand over to grasp Eun-soo’s. He entwined their fingers deeply. The feeling of their palms touching without a gap was so wonderful he felt like he might scream.

While Do-kwon looked down at their joined hands with moved eyes, Eun-soo spoke tentatively.

“Should I go with you? To get the nameplate made?”

“No. I’ll be back quickly.”

“If it’s Bomi’s Tree, then I should help take care of it too. Let’s go together tomorrow.”

“…Alright, then.”

Do-kwon gave a short nod. Eun-soo’s cheekbones rose. He flicked his foot. His white foot moved affectionately.

“Can we choose the design for the nameplates? I want them to be pretty. Like those signs in daycare centers that say ‘Sun Class’ or ‘Moon Class.’ No, wait. They aren’t real official nameplates, so there’s no need to go to a professional shop. Should we just go to a workshop and make them ourselves? I took a woodworking class back in college.”

His plump lips moved busily as he chattered. Do-kwon gazed silently at Eun-soo. It was truly impressive that Eun-soo could now talk about Bomi without crying. He was infinitely fragile, delicate, and lyrical. Do-kwon admired how Eun-soo had finally shaken off the sorrow, leaving behind only love and affection.

With a person like this, such a wonderful person, how could he not love him?

Do-kwon pressed a soft kiss to the back of Eun-soo’s hand. Then, like a dog loving its owner, he buried his cheek against the hand, filling his eyes with Eun-soo.

“Eun-soo.”

“Yes.”

“I love you.”

Eun-soo raised an eyebrow at the sudden confession. Then, he let out a small, airy laugh. Do-kwon’s confessions were something unique, unconstrained by time or place. Even when they were dating intensely, Eun-soo had been flustered by confessions that came out of nowhere—while eating, suddenly while driving, or randomly while walking down the street.

He felt he should probably just get used to it. It seemed Do-kwon’s confessions would not cease even in the distant future.

“……Yes.”

Eun-soo answered simply, accepting and swallowing Do-kwon’s confession. The more he consumed those confessions, the softer his heart seemed to become.

* * *

Do-kwon and Eun-soo visited the mart located beneath the department store. They went to buy fruit, milk, and alcohol. However, in their excitement, they bought so many things that it became a heavy load. They bought everything they wanted—snacks, soda, yogurt, and more.

Do-kwon’s car came to a stop in the underground parking lot of the house. The two stepped out and began unloading the trunk.

Do-kwon carried four paper bags in both hands, while Eun-soo held a relatively light paper bag containing bread and snacks to his chest. Do-kwon was very displeased that Eun-soo, whose wrists were not in good condition, was carrying anything at all. However, since Eun-soo repeatedly insisted he was fine, there was nothing he could do.

Eun-soo’s feet tapped lightly on the ground.

“As soon as we get in, I’m going to eat yogurt. With strawberries, mango, and blueberries.”

“Okay. I’ll cut the mango for you,” Do-kwon said with a nod. I’ll slice it prettily. Nothing made him happier than seeing small, yellow squares popping into Eun-soo’s mouth. It felt as if he were a great landowner harvesting the fruits of a year’s hard labor.

The two crossed the parking lot, sharing various stories about their daily lives. Since it was a designated parking spot, they walked the same path every time, but perhaps because they were carrying bags, the walk to the elevator felt exceptionally long today.

Eun-soo let out a small grunt and readjusted the paper bag in his arms. Thinking that Do-kwon was carrying too much—that even a strong Alpha was still human and his hands might hurt—Eun-soo had secretly slipped a few bottled drinks into his own bag, making it quite heavy.

It was an unconscious action, but Do-kwon suddenly turned his head.

“Is it heavy? Give it to me.”

“It’s not heavy. My hand just slipped.”

Fearing the bag would be taken away, Eun-soo took a step back from Do-kwon.

It happened then. The harsh sound of car tires screeching echoed through the parking lot. Before he could even hunch his shoulders at the noise that sharply clawed at his eardrums, blinding headlights conquered his vision.

Eun-soo narrowed his eyes. A large, blunt-looking car was charging straight toward him and Do-kwon.

For a moment, Eun-soo felt a phantom sensation, as if a heavy steel bar had been driven into his heart. The car. The headlights. The sound of the tires. The rapidly approaching roar of the engine. The remnants of the accident he had tried to forget surged up simultaneously, swallowing Eun-soo whole.

The paper bag Eun-soo had been hugging slipped from his grasp. The limp bag vomited its contents onto the ground.

“Eun-soo…….”

Do-kwon was equally shocked. So much so that he couldn’t even call Eun-soo’s name loudly, merely murmuring it. But his body did not hesitate. It moved instinctively. A car is coming, Eun-soo might get hurt, I have to save him—his arm reached out before the thoughts could even fully form.

The paper bags he was holding also crashed to the ground. Do-kwon’s shadow, cast by the headlights, moved dynamically.

Do-kwon didn’t do something stupid like hugging Eun-soo. This wasn’t some random assailant; it was a car. No matter how hard he hugged and protected Eun-soo, no matter how healthy an Alpha’s body he possessed, his bones weren’t made of iron. Eun-soo would undoubtedly be hurt.

Therefore, he had to push him completely out of the car’s range.

Do-kwon shoved Eun-soo hard to the side. The slender body slid backward in an arc.

“Do-kwon…… sir?”

Eun-soo reached out toward Do-kwon. But it was already too late. With a crash, Eun-soo collapsed onto the hood of a car parked in the next row.

And at that same moment.

Thud—with a heavy impact, Do-kwon’s body was launched into the air.

Do-kwon collided head-on with the car. The car had been speeding so fast that Do-kwon’s large frame flew up and rolled across the top of the vehicle. The windshield shattered and crumpled.

The car finally slammed on the brakes, but Do-kwon was already sprawled far away on the ground. A red liquid began to seep out around his head.

Seeing this, Eun-soo wore a vacant expression, like someone whose soul had been snatched away. Why is Do-kwon there? Why is he lying like that? For what reason? His reason, unable to keep up with the events that happened in an instant, snapped.

Eun-soo, who had been lying on the hood, slowly pushed himself up. He wanted to get to Do-kwon. But the moment his foot touched the ground, his body collapsed. His ankle felt strange. He couldn’t put any weight on it, and it throbbed severely. It seemed he had sprained it while sliding.

Still, Eun-soo tried to stand. A mere ankle. Compared to Do-kwon, who was bleeding profusely from his head, it wasn’t even a wound. Just as he leaned against a nearby car and pushed himself halfway up using his arm—

A black silhouette brushed past Eun-soo. It was the owner of the car that had hit Do-kwon. But that silhouette was strangely…… familiar. A man of considerable height, though not as tall as Do-kwon. A gaunt, thin body. A short-sleeved shirt unsuitable for the season and trousers that were wrinkled beyond repair. A ball cap pulled low.

“Uh…….”

As Eun-soo frowned, the silhouette approached Do-kwon with a precarious, staggering gait. Do-kwon was the one who had been hit by the car, but at a glance, the man’s walk was so bizarre it almost looked as if he were the one who had been hit.

The silhouette stopped in front of Do-kwon. He looked down silently at the fallen man, as if checking to see if Do-kwon was dead.

Do-kwon was not moving. He was bleeding from his head, and surely various parts of his body were broken, yet he didn’t let out a single groan. He really…… seemed dead.

“No, no…….”

Eun-soo’s eyes widened. Gritting his teeth, he barely managed to lift his body. Walking was difficult. But Eun-soo did not give up. Using the hoods of the lined-up cars as supports, he crawled toward Do-kwon.

Then, the silhouette climbed onto Do-kwon’s stomach. As he did, his profile was revealed. In an instant, the arm Eun-soo had been using to support himself on the hood buckled, and he collapsed to the ground.

“Gasp…….”

His breath caught. His veins felt as thin as threads, and his blood stopped flowing. His head throbbed as if someone were hacking at his brain with an awl.

It was that man. The man who had covered himself in Do-kwon’s pheromones to toy with him. The man who had gripped his forearm, threatening and shouting at him. The man who had provided the catalyst for him to slit his own wrists.

It was Seong-heon.

“Kh…….”

Collapsed between the cars, Eun-soo clutched his chest. He couldn’t breathe. His vision blurred. He could see nothing and hear nothing; only Seong-heon’s face spun around him.

Seong-heon again. Seong-heon once more. In the end, Seong-heon.

Pressing his head against the ground, Eun-soo squeezed his eyes shut.

Seong-heon was perched on Do-kwon’s waist, staring intently at him. With bloodshot eyes and unfocused pupils, his pupils were dilated like go stones, looking vastly different from those of a normal person. A pungent smell of strong alcohol and a acrid scent wafted from between his teeth—the characteristic stench of drugs.

“Hey.”

Looking down, Seong-heon called to Do-kwon with chapped lips.

“…….”

But Do-kwon did not respond.

“Hey.”

Seong-heon called Do-kwon again. This time, he tapped Do-kwon’s cheek. It wasn’t a rough touch or a strong force. It was as if he were terrified. It was the gesture of a novice hunter poking a beast to see if it was dead or alive.

Do-kwon’s head swayed lifelessly. The blood flowing down his forehead pulsed heavily. Seeing this, Seong-heon chuckled. Then, he grabbed Do-kwon by the collar and yanked him up.

“You…… you fucking piece of shit.”

“…….”

“I’m going to kill you today. Monster? Fuck, monster? Don’t make me laugh. There’s no such thing in this world. It’s all fake. It’s all a lie you made up. It’s just a hallucination.”

“…….”

“But, huh? But they…… won’t go away. Everywhere I go, there’s a monster you created. Baring its teeth and growling.”

“…….”

“I can’t stand it. The breath, the smell that those things—those Alphas—emit, it’s all disgusting. Horrific. I feel like I’m breaking out in hives all over my body. But they told me. They said if I kill you, they’ll let me go. They said if I just kill you, it’ll be okay. Everything will be fine.”

Seong-heon rambled on in a trembling, convulsing voice. The sentences were excessively short and disjointed. It revealed just how wretched Seong-heon’s state was.

Staring at Do-kwon, whose head was twisted strangely and eyes closed, Seong-heon fumbled at his waist. What he pulled out was a fairly large jackknife.

Seong-heon flicked the folded jackknife in the air with a wide swing. But the blade did not snap open. He swung it a few more times, but the knife, stuck tight, didn’t budge.

Seong-heon swallowed hard. There was no time. He had to slit Do-kwon’s throat before he regained consciousness. Goosebumps rose along his spine from the urgency. Cold sweat beaded on his temples.

Letting go of Do-kwon’s collar, he gripped the knife with both hands. And as he forced the blade out—

“Hieek…….”

His eyes met Do-kwon’s. Terrified, Seong-heon shuddered as if having a seizure.

“…….”

Do-kwon, who had quietly opened his eyes, looked up at Seong-heon with indifferent pupils. He was the one lying on the ground, he was the one bleeding, yet he seemed devoid of fear. Even with Seong-heon holding a knife with bloodshot eyes.

Seong-heon felt his body freeze under that gaze. It felt as if a thick, tough noose were winding tightly around his entire body. Not just his limbs, but his internal organs were being squeezed. His guts rubbed against each other, screaming.

A monster. A real monster.

Do-kwon was a monster more horrific and terrifying than any monster he had encountered so far.

As Seong-heon gasped for air, Do-kwon asked in his characteristic low voice.

“How has it been?”

“Ugh…….”

The voice was so chilling that Seong-heon’s shoulders rose up to his earlobes. The face of a monster overlapped with Do-kwon’s face. A strange groan escaped between his teeth. To this, Do-kwon asked again.

“Was it like hell?”

“Heeuuu…….”

“Did you cry a lot? As much as Eun-soo cried?”

“Kh, ueeeo…….”

“Did you suffer? As much as Eun-soo suffered?”

Seong-heon felt as if the sentences Do-kwon uttered were strangling him. The tip of the knife he held trembled violently. Cracks appeared on his rigid cheeks, and his lips flapped like a goldfish.

Do-kwon looked down at Seong-heon with disdain. Then, he wore a fishy smile.

“Seeing how pathetic you look, it seems you’ve suffered quite a bit.”

It was blatant mockery. He was looking down on Seong-heon. He literally viewed him as a cripple. He treated him as something insignificant like a half-wit, low-grade like a defective product, a worthless Beta.

Seong-heon’s jaw trembled. A grating, unpleasant sound echoed as he ground his teeth.

“You, you, fucking piece of shit…….”

Seong-heon raised the knife. The sharply honed tip aimed for the space between Do-kwon’s eyebrows. No matter what happened to the rest of his life, he was confident he could handle anything as long as he could kill Do-kwon. Even if his life was a mess, he felt he would be as happy as if he had come to heaven if only the monsters staring at him and gnashing their teeth disappeared.

Just as Seong-heon, gritting his molars, began to bring the knife down, a mass of a person suddenly threw their entire body at him. It was a light and powerless attack, but because Seong-heon was completely unprepared, he flopped over to the side. The knife fell from his hand, clattering onto the ground.

His shoulder and side stung from the impact with the ground. As Seong-heon groaned, glaring at the shadow that had tackled him—

Thuck.

The jackknife Seong-heon had dropped sank into the area below his collarbone. Seong-heon looked down at the knife embedded in his body with a hollow expression. He could clearly feel the foreign object lodged between his skin and muscle, but it didn’t feel real. It was because it was the first time in his life he had been stabbed.

Staring blankly at the knife, Seong-heon slowly raised his head. To see the person standing before him, the one who had plunged the knife into his chest.

“D-don’t…….”

However, before he could confirm the face, a slender voice reached him first. Seong-heon froze stiff.

“Yu…… Eun-soo?”

Seong-heon realized Eun-soo’s presence belatedly. He had driven all the way here, seen that Do-kwon’s parking spot was empty, and waited for him to arrive. And the moment he confirmed Do-kwon’s face, he had slammed on the accelerator. That was why he had only just realized Eun-soo was by his side.

He had been that far gone. But only after his chest was pierced, only after he had handed the knife handle to Eun-soo of all people, did he come to his senses. It felt as if his brain, soaked in alcohol and drugs, was being washed with cold water.

As Seong-heon moved his stiff muscles to reach for Eun-soo, Eun-soo yanked the jackknife out. Then, he plunged it thuck! back in, slightly lower than before.

“Kugh…….”

Seong-heon groaned. If the first time had felt like skin and muscle splitting, this time he could feel his internal organs tearing. Reflexively, Seong-heon grabbed Eun-soo’s wrist. But Eun-soo held his ground. He pressed the knife handle down firmly, murmuring as if to himself.

“I’m going to…… kill you.”

“Keugh…….”

“I…… won’t have anything taken from me anymore.”

“…….”

“No one, no one can take what’s mine.”

It was as if he were hypnotizing himself. Despite his face being pale, his legs shaking so much he couldn’t even keep his balance, and his large eyes brimming with tears in a display of fragility, he gripped the knife handle tenaciously.

Seong-heon let out a murky cough. Blood surged back, as if his lungs had been torn. It was a unique sensation—the feeling of blood bursting inside his body and pooling in various organs.

After being in a momentary state of grogginess, Seong-heon took a deep breath and tried to push Eun-soo away. At that moment, a large, thick hand was placed over Eun-soo’s hand.

It was Do-kwon.

Hugging Eun-soo from behind, Do-kwon soothed him in a soft, tender voice.

“Eun-soo.”

“……Do-kwon sir.”

“It’s okay.”

“…….”

“It’s okay, so let go.”

At those words, Eun-soo blinked slowly. A thick tear rolled down his cheek. The moment that tear hit the ground, he slowly released his grip. Now, Do-kwon alone held the knife.

Do-kwon pulled the knife out with force. A ripping sound occurred as the skin and muscle clinging to the knife tore away, and blood splattered through the gap.

“Kugh…….”

Seong-heon groaned heavily, staring at his chest where blood was spurting. Do-kwon tossed the blood-soaked knife aside carelessly. Then, he covered Eun-soo’s eyes with his large hand. Seong-heon’s blood, spraying like a fountain, soiled the back of his hand instead of Eun-soo’s face.

Eun-soo’s body trembled violently. Seong-heon. The knife. The blood. The knife handle that had filled his palm. There was nothing he could handle in a sane state. Eun-soo collapsed. Do-kwon, kneeling beside him, gently comforted him.

“It’s okay, Eun-soo.”

“Huu…… Do-kwon sir……. I, I stabbed a person…….”

“No, what you stabbed wasn’t a person. It was a piece of a demon.”

“But still…….”

“Even if he were human, it was self-defense. If you hadn’t stabbed him, I would have died.”

“Ah……, because Do, Do-kwon sir can’t die…….”

“Right. Because I can’t die. You did nothing wrong. I’m the one who pulled the knife out. Eun-soo, you haven’t done a single thing wrong.”

Do-kwon spoke into Eun-soo’s ear as if brainwashing him. Eun-soo nodded slowly.

“Heugh…”

Seong-heon reached out toward the two of them. He murmured words like Save me. Save me. It hurts. Save me, but they failed to form complete words due to the blood surging back up his throat. Seong-heon’s fingertips were just about to touch the area around Eun-soo’s knee.

Quickly grabbing the knife, Do-kwon slammed it down hard onto the back of Seong-heon’s hand. Seong-heon let out a piercing scream. Eun-soo’s shoulders jerked upward. Do-kwon, still blocking Eun-soo’s view, soothed him in a low, gentle voice.

He repeated that it was nothing, that everything was okay, and that nothing would happen.

“Uuu…”

Seong-heon collapsed flat on the floor. His eyes, turned yellow from drug abuse, stared intently at Do-kwon and Eun-soo. Behind Eun-soo, who was curled up tightly and clutching Do-kwon’s clothes, Do-kwon’s face was visible, smiling. He looked… truly, utterly like a monster.

Do-kwon’s eyes turned red. His pupils flashed gold, and thick, sharp canines protruded from between his parted teeth. The horns rising above his head could not have been more grotesque or threatening.

Seong-heon’s lips moved silently. Monster, monster, monster… With those words, he slammed his head against the ground. And then, he simply blacked out.

It was a truly miserable and pathetic end.

Do-kwon turned Eun-soo’s body, which had been facing Seong-heon, toward himself. Then, he removed the hand that had been covering Eun-soo’s eyes. Eun-soo’s eyes, drenched in tears, were revealed.

Do-kwon gently wiped the corners of Eun-soo’s eyes with his thumb. At that, Eun-soo’s tears poured down even more violently. Even that sight was so beautiful that Do-kwon let out a faint smile.

“Eun-soo.”

“Heugh, yes, yes…”

“Thank you.”

“…Yes?”

“For saving me.”

Do-kwon kissed Eun-soo’s forehead. Eun-soo shook his head. No. Wasn’t it Do-kwon who saved him? If he hadn’t pushed him, he would have been hit by the car.

“No. You saved me, Do-kwon-ssi…”

It was then that Eun-soo’s expression crumpled. Do-kwon’s body seemed to stagger, and then his face slumped onto Eun-soo’s shoulder. Due to the heavy weight, Eun-soo almost fell backward. Bracing himself with strength in his waist, Eun-soo hugged Do-kwon and called out to him.

“…Do-kwon-ssi?”

“…”

Do-kwon did not answer.

“Do, Do-kwon-ssi. Do-kwon-ssi.”

Eun-soo shook Do-kwon. But Do-kwon still didn’t respond. The way his body swayed as he was shaken felt strange. He felt more like a doll than Do-kwon. Do-kwon gradually collapsed, eventually falling almost completely on top of Eun-soo.

Eun-soo struggled to lift Do-kwon. However, the limp Do-kwon was not lightly weighted, and Eun-soo lacked the strength. Still, as he tried to lift him somehow, his hand accidentally touched the nape of Do-kwon’s neck and slid right off. His hand was wet.

Frowning, Eun-soo looked at his hand. It was completely covered in a red liquid. It wasn’t bright red, but a dark, deep red. It was viscous and lukewarm.

“Ah…”

With a blank face, Eun-soo rubbed his fingers together. The slippery texture was unfamiliar. No, it felt familiar…

Eun-soo let time slip away like an idiot, unable to do a single thing. His mind was blank. As if someone had stolen his brain, his reason and thought had vanished.

Then, belatedly, he checked on Do-kwon. Do-kwon’s eyes were closed neatly. A streak of blood flowed down from the corner of his eye. Instinctively, Eun-soo wiped it away. But before long, another streak of blood ran down.

Only then did Eun-soo notice the pool of blood splattered on the floor a few steps away, where Do-kwon had been lying after being hit by the car. With trembling hands, he felt the back of Do-kwon’s head. Just as he felt a sunken area amidst the thick hair, blood began to gush out.

It was blood Do-kwon was shedding. Blood coming from Do-kwon’s head.

Eun-soo took a deep breath. He breathed in and in again. Yet, his lungs felt stiff and frozen, and he couldn’t get enough air.

Quickly to the hospital, no, first stop the bleeding, but with what, the phone, where is the phone. His thoughts, crushed by panic and fear, moved sluggishly.

Eun-soo took a deep breath. Then he opened his eyes wide. It was to snap himself out of it. Do-kwon would be okay. He was a strong person. He would overcome this. He just had to—he just had to do his part.

Eun-soo carefully laid Do-kwon on the floor. Then, he threw off his coat haphazardly and took off the knit sweater he had been wearing over his shirt. He folded it flat and placed it behind Do-kwon’s head.

Next, he found the phone in his coat pocket. He pressed the power button to light up the screen and opened the dialer. With a trembling thumb, he fumbled to press 119. However, the phone failed to recognize his fingers, which were damp with blood.

“Ah, fuck…”

Eun-soo muttered a low curse. He rubbed the blood-stained phone against his chest to wipe it and scrubbed his hands against his pants. Only then was he able to connect with the emergency dispatcher. Eun-soo calmly explained the location and the situation.

After ending the call, Eun-soo dropped the phone. He crawled on his knees to Do-kwon’s side. And in the meantime, he wiped the blood staining Do-kwon’s temple with his sleeve.

“Do-kwon-ssi.”

“…”

“Do-kwon-ssi. Open your eyes.”

“…”

“Can’t you… hear my voice?”

Eun-soo called out to Do-kwon desperately. But Do-kwon didn’t even blink. Tears dripped from Eun-soo’s eyes.

“No… no…”

He couldn’t lose Do-kwon. He had already sent his parents and even Bomi to heaven. He couldn’t send Do-kwon too. Rather than living completely alone in such a cruel way… it would be a hundred, a thousand times better to die.

No, if he had known this would happen, he would have died long ago. The day he heard the news that his parents had passed away. He should have died that day. Before Bomi came into his life, before he met Do-kwon, he should have disappeared from this world.

Eun-soo stroked Do-kwon’s face. Do-kwon grew paler and colder by the second. He was someone who always possessed a warm heat. Now, wherever he touched, he was cold. Moreover, his pheromone scent was gradually fading.

Eun-soo felt as if he might faint from sheer terror and fear. His breathing came in jagged bursts. His chest heaved abnormally, like he was sobbing.

Eun-soo hugged Do-kwon tightly. It was to impart his own warmth. And burying his cheek against Do-kwon’s broad chest, he spoke desperately.

“Don’t die… please…”

Don’t leave me.

Don’t leave me alone.

Don’t make me sad.

Don’t… let me die.

Eun-soo’s thin sobbing echoed lonely through the underground parking lot.

* * *

After going through various examination rooms, Do-kwon was moved straight to the operating room. With unfocused eyes, Eun-soo stared at Do-kwon’s name displayed on the operating room monitor.

The doctor said it wasn’t a major problem. He was in a state of what is commonly called having his ‘head cracked.’ However, the brain was slightly swollen, and because he had suffered a brain injury from a major car accident in the past, they would have to monitor him. Still, looking at his condition, the doctor comforted Eun-soo, saying his life was likely not in danger.

It was such a relief, truly… a relief. But the terror enveloping Eun-soo did not fade.

Even while trembling with fear, Eun-soo didn’t know why he was shaking. Was it just… because Do-kwon was hurt? Because he had seen Seong-heon’s face after a long time? Because for the first time in his life, he had harbored the malicious intent to kill someone?

He didn’t know. With his mind in disarray, it was difficult to accurately perceive the current situation.

Eun-soo sat in a chair in front of the operating room, silently letting tears drip. Like a person who didn’t exist in the world, he hid in the darkness without even making a sound of breathing.

After about 30 minutes, the hallway became noisy, and familiar faces appeared.

“Eun-soo!”

“Sweetie!”

Snapping back to his senses at the call, Eun-soo looked up. It was Myeong-hui and Ki-ho. Seeing the two of them, Eun-soo’s face crumpled. Then he cried like a child. Perhaps it was because they were adults, people he could lean on, that he finally felt at ease.

Eun-soo looked up at Myeong-hui and spoke haltingly.

“Heugh, I was, I was trying to go home, and suddenly, heugh, a car came… Do-kwon-ssi…”

“I know. I know. I heard the whole story on the way here. You don’t have to explain.”

Myeong-hui gently stroked Eun-soo’s shoulder. Ki-ho sat beside Eun-soo with a similarly distressed expression. At the sight of the two, Eun-soo’s lower lip trembled.

They were Do-kwon’s parents. This was already the second time Do-kwon was lying on an operating table to protect him. He was the starting point of every accident. He didn’t have the face to look up at them. He could have accepted it if they cursed him or resented him. Why did they embrace him like this? He was grateful, and yet ashamed.

“I’m sorry…”

Eun-soo apologized with a voice thick with moisture.

“Sweetie, what are you sorry for? This was all that bastard Seong-heon’s doing.”

“Right. Eun-soo, you need to be a bit more mean. Don’t apologize for things you didn’t do.”

Myeong-hui and Ki-ho sincerely comforted Eun-soo. Thanks to them, Eun-soo was able to smile even while tears dripped. Then, realizing he was in no position to just receive comfort, he quickly spoke.

They say Do-kwon-ssi will be okay. The doctor said his life isn’t in danger. That was what he wanted to say.

But suddenly, Ki-ho shuddered and let out a short scream.

“Sweetie! What happened to your ankle!”

At those words, everyone’s gaze turned toward Eun-soo’s ankle. Eun-soo’s right ankle, slightly revealed beneath his jeans, was thickly swollen. It seemed to have swollen further because he had stubbornly followed Do-kwon’s bed from the emergency room through the examination rooms and into the operating room. It was hard to even gauge the position of the ankle bone. It stood in stark contrast to his other ankle.

“Ah… it’s nothing, it’s nothing…”

Eun-soo pulled down the hem of his pants that he had rolled up. Why did this matter? Do-kwon was in the operating room with a cracked head. What did a sprained ankle matter? It would be fine in a few days. Even now, it didn’t particularly hurt. He had forgotten about it until now.

As Eun-soo pressed the hem of his pants down to hide his ankle and straightened his bent waist, Myeong-hui suddenly cupped Eun-soo’s cheeks with both hands. Then, she fumbled to touch his shoulders and forearms.

“My goodness. Eun-soo. Why is your body so cold?”

“Oh dear…”

Ki-ho quickly took off the coat he was wearing and wrapped it around Eun-soo’s shoulders. Only then did Eun-soo realize he was shaking. Wearing only a thin dress shirt, he couldn’t tell if he was shivering from the cold or trembling from fear.

“Doctor! Call a doctor.”

“Bring a bed or a wheelchair too. And some warm tea.”

Myeong-hui and Ki-ho spoke to the secretaries standing nearby. Eun-soo shook his head urgently.

“I’m okay.”

“That’s not for you to judge. It’s for the doctor to judge.”

Myeong-hui spoke firmly. While Eun-soo hesitated, unsure of what to do in the face of that resolve, doctors rushed in. A bed and a wheelchair appeared. A paper cup with a tea bag was placed beside Eun-soo. It was excessive attention for a mere sprained ankle.

“Please sit here. First, we need to take an X-ray to check the state of your ankle.”

The doctor said, pushing a wheelchair in front of Eun-soo. Eun-soo let out meaningless groans—ah, aa…—while staring at the operating room monitor with Do-kwon’s name on it. Then, tightening his gaze, he called Myeong-hui in a steady voice.

“Chairman.”

“Yes, Eun-soo. Hurry and get the exam…”

“I want to stay here.”

“…”

“I want to see Do-kwon-ssi come out.”

“Eun-soo.”

“The treatment… I’ll do it later. It’s just that I’m too, too scared. I feel like I can only breathe once Do-kwon-ssi comes out safely, once the doctor says the surgery went well.”

I’ll only stay until then… please… Eun-soo pleaded in a desperate voice. Myeong-hui looked down at Eun-soo quietly. Then, letting out a long sigh, she gestured to the doctors.

“Do the treatment. Here.”

“Pardon? But…”

“Check him here and do the emergency treatment first.”

The doctors reluctantly agreed. Then they appeared again, bringing various medical tools from somewhere. A makeshift clinic was set up in the middle of the hallway.

Eun-soo took off his sneakers and rolled up his pant leg. The doctors put their heads together and discussed how the ankle bone might have shifted. They poked his toes to check if there were any nerve issues. Then, they applied a generous amount of something like a pain-relief patch and began to wrap a bandage tightly.

Regardless of what they did, Eun-soo just stared incessantly at the operating room door. He gazed at that one spot so intently that he wouldn’t have noticed even if the doctors had chopped off his ankle.

Myeong-hui let out a short laugh watching him. Looking at the stubborn back of the small, thin Eun-soo, she was reminded of someone who didn’t look like him at all.

“Eun-soo.”

“Yes?”

“When you’re like this, you’re exactly like Do-kwon.”

“…I am?”

“Yes. That stubbornness of not even pretending to listen when told to worry about your own body…”

Myeong-hui clicked her tongue. She had wondered why two people with absolutely nothing in common were so crazy about each other. But the way they both charged forward, ignoring how their own bodies were being wrecked once they were fixated on something, was exactly the same.

Though she had never met Eun-soo’s parents, she thought that raising him must not have been very smooth.

“If you end up with a problem in your ankle because of this, you’re going to be in big trouble with me.”

Myeong-hui gave a stern warning.

“…Yes.”

Eun-soo nodded with a faint smile. Watching the two of them, Ki-ho quietly placed the warm tea in Eun-soo’s hand. Then, without saying much, he patted Eun-soo’s back.

Do-kwon’s surgery took longer than expected. Eun-soo was chewing on his already raw lower lip again when a secretary appeared from somewhere and whispered something into Myeong-hui’s ear.

He hadn’t meant to listen, but a familiar name brushed past Eun-soo’s ear.

Myeong-hui responded with a nod. The secretary bowed and walked away.

Eun-soo licked his lips. His fingers curled inward, twitching like the legs of a squid cooking in fire. His eyes moved anxiously, and finally, unable to hold back, he asked Myeong-hui.

“That, that person.”

“Hmm?”

“That person, the one I s-stabbed with a knife… did they die?”

Eun-soo’s cheeks stiffened. His already pale face turned completely white.

“…”

Myeong-hui stared at Eun-soo. Eun-soo swallowed hard several times. His heart hammered so violently it felt as if it would surge up his throat. What if Seong-heon died? I stabbed him wanting him to die, but he can’t actually die.

If he died, and if that death was caused by his own hand, he felt that the man’s existence would be embedded in his chest for the rest of his life.

It would be very uncomfortable and extremely painful. It would sting occasionally, and sometimes it would bleed. He couldn’t let Seong-heon become that kind of existence to him.

As Eun-soo swallowed again, Myeong-hui shook her head.

“No. If he were the type to die from a few knife wounds, he would have died long ago. There is internal bleeding, but it’s not serious. They say he’ll recover after a few months of hospitalization.”

“Ah…”

Eun-soo let out a sigh of relief. His chest, which had been swollen with tension, deflated like a popped balloon. His lips, which had been pressed into a straight line, relaxed, and Myeong-hui spoke while crossing her legs.

“I’m not sending him to prison this time.”

“Yes? Why?”

“I don’t mean I’m just leaving him alone. I’m going to have him admitted to a psychiatric hospital.”

“A… hospital?”

“Yes. Not a peaceful nursing hospital like the one you were in. I plan to throw him into a very vicious place. A place where visitors aren’t allowed. A place where he has to stay tied up all day. There are no model prisoners there, and no release. Of course, there’s no discharge either. He can’t get out unless he dies.”

“…”

“How dare he… to my son… He’s splattered blood on you two just as you were finally settling in. If it were up to me, I’d grind him to dust.”

Myeong-hui gnashed her teeth, her eyes flashing like a tiger’s. To this, Ki-ho added in a gentle tone.

“On the way here, I almost called the doctor and told them not to operate on that bastard Seong-heon and just let him die from blood loss.”

Eun-soo blinked slowly. Then, he asked in a very small voice.

“Then what about me? Do, do… do I go to prison?”

“…Hmm?”

At those words, Myeong-hui and Ki-ho widened their eyes. Then, a few seconds later, they burst into laughter simultaneously—cackling and guffawing. It was a rather frivolous sound. After laughing for a while, Myeong-hui wiped away a stray tear with his index finger and spoke.

“Even if you had sliced Seong-heon’s throat right then and there, you wouldn’t be going to prison.”

“Why, why?”

“Because I’ll make it so.”

“…….”

“You won’t even have to step foot in a court, so don’t worry.”

Eun-soo kept his mouth tightly shut. He’ll hire a good lawyer. It was self-defense. He has a long history of hospital visits, so he can claim diminished capacity. It wasn’t as if Myeong-hui had given specific details, yet strangely, Eun-soo believed him. If Myeong-hui said he would do it, then it would happen.

Eun-soo knew very well that such a thing was not difficult. Do-kwon had always done it that way.

Myeong-hui tenderly wrapped his hand around Eun-soo’s and met his gaze.

“Eun-soo. Do you remember me saying I’d do anything for you? I wasn’t speaking lightly.”

“…….”

“If there’s something you want to do, do it. Even if it happens to be murder, it’s fine.”

“Chairman…….”

“And isn’t that bastard Seong-heon deserving of death?”

“…….”

“Don’t let it get to you. If you hadn’t stabbed him, that blade would have certainly ended up in either your chest or Do-kwon’s.”

Eun-soo nodded slowly. That was true. Seong-heon had brought the jackknife to kill Do-kwon, and indeed, hadn’t he aimed for the space between Do-kwon’s eyebrows? If Eun-soo hadn’t tackled him, Do-kwon might be in a funeral parlor right now instead of an operating room.

Thinking that made him feel more at ease. It felt as though he had done what he was supposed to do.

Eun-soo relaxed his shoulders, which had been frozen with guilt. And as he looked back toward the operating room—

“Oh…….”

The tightly closed doors opened.

For once, the doctor had nothing but good news. The surgery had ended well, the recovery speed was good, and he would open his eyes within two days at the latest. These were the most hopeful words Eun-soo had heard in all the years he had spent drifting in and out of hospitals.

So, he felt safe enough to get his ankle treated, wash the blood-stained grime from his body, and haphazardly eat the meals Myeong-hui and Ki-ho provided.

Then, as he sat beside the eyes-closed Do-kwon, he felt a strange sense of suffocation. His body kept trembling, and his stomach churned. It was as if he were nervous. Or as if he were afraid of something.

He told himself it was because Do-kwon hadn’t regained consciousness yet, or because he couldn’t forget Seong-heon’s horrific eyes—that like the lingering breathlessness after a long run, he simply hadn’t escaped the terror of that moment.

But it didn’t feel like that. There was some other reason. Yet, no matter how much he racked his brain, he couldn’t figure out the origin of this anxiety and tension.

Midnight passed, the dawn flowed, and just before the sun rose—at the moment the world was darkest—Eun-soo found the root of his fear.

It was Do-kwon. Specifically, the bandages wrapped around Do-kwon’s head. More specifically, the first words Do-kwon had uttered after waking up from a long coma following a car accident three years ago.

‘An Omega?’

A nose wrinkled as if smelling something foul.

‘Why is an Omega here?’

A voice overflowing with irritation.

‘Tell them to get lost. The smell is making my head feel like it’s splitting.’

A cold gaze that had pierced right through him.

That memory of the past was nibbling away at Eun-soo.

The doctor said he would wake up within two days. What if Do-kwon woke up and didn’t remember him again? What if he looked at him with that same cold gaze?

What if he forgot everything—the two years they loved, the one year of pain from his amnesia, the lost Bomi, the two years spent hiding under a fake death, and the other year spent overcoming those losses? All of it. Every single bit.

How could he repeat that horrific time? How many more losses would eat away at them this time, and for how many more hours would they have to cry and suffer?

I’m exhausted. I’ve become weaker in the face of loneliness than before, and more vulnerable to sadness. Rather than going through all that again, I’d rather throw myself out the window. I don’t have the confidence to endure it anymore.

If you lose me again, then what am I supposed to do?

He was scared. Terrified. Afraid. Just imagining it for a moment felt as if his heart were breaking.

“Hic…….”

Eun-soo covered his mouth. Thick tears dripped onto his thighs. His thin shoulders trembled precariously.

It wouldn’t happen. Hadn’t Do-kwon promised him?

‘Don’t worry. You have me. I’ll be beside you, behind you, and beneath you. Anytime, anywhere, always.’

‘Actually, I’ve been watching you since you left the office. I was in front of the building an hour before you clocked out. Anytime, anywhere, always. I told you I’d be by your side.’

He said he’d be by his side. So, he would be by his side this time too.

Eun-soo hoped Do-kwon would open his eyes quickly. He wanted this groundless anxiety to be erased as soon as possible.

Yet, at the same time—selfishly—he hoped Do-kwon wouldn’t wake up.

If he were to lose his memory. If he were to abandon him again. If he were to treat him like a vulgar Omega. He felt that it might be happier if he just… just stayed lying there like this.

Though he would cry occasionally, missing his voice and the eyes that looked at him with love, he still wouldn’t want to die. That would be a manageable loss; he felt he could overcome it somehow.

“Ah…….”

Eun-soo let out a small sigh, lifting his head.

He must be crazy. To hope that Do-kwon wouldn’t wake up. Moreover, to think such things about a person who was injured while saving him. How could he be so cruel?

Belated self-loathing washed over him. So he cried again. Then, finding his own state so ridiculous and disgusting, he let out a hollow laugh. The tears flowing over his curved lips were hot.

“I should have been the one who got hurt…….”

Even if his body were in pain, his mind would be at peace. If he had injured his head and had holes in his memory, that wouldn’t be so bad. Do-kwon was a much stronger and steadier person than he was. He would still be devoted to him and love him. Then they might be able to forget the past and just live smiling.

“Haa…….”

Eun-soo buried his cheek in Do-kwon’s limp palm. Fortunately, Do-kwon’s palm was warm. It was the same warmth as always. Whenever Eun-soo cried or had a nightmare, this large, warm hand would tenderly stroke his spine. It wiped his tears and brushed his hair.

Eun-soo needed that touch right now. Yet, the contradiction that he was afraid of Do-kwon waking up clashed violently within him.

“I’m sorry for thinking this……. I’m sorry, really…….”

“…….”

“But I can’t help it.”

“…….”

“If you do nothing like this, if you don’t tell me you love me, if you don’t hold me, I keep…… crumbling.”

“…….”

“It feels like one side of my heart is turning to dust and scattering. That’s why I’m cold. Lonely. Scared, and sad.”

Eun-soo buried his nose in Do-kwon’s palm. Then he inhaled slowly and deeply. He could smell Do-kwon’s pheromones. Eun-soo slowly closed and opened his eyes. Each time he did, the tears clinging to his eyelashes fell—silently, but heavily.

“Just how long…… must I keep breaking down?”

“…….”

“How much more must I break before I can adapt to this misery?”

You tell me. No one else. You have to be the one to tell me. Wake up, look at me, call my name, and tell me with eyes full of love.

That I don’t need to break. That it’s all over now. That you won’t leave me alone. That you won’t leave my side. That you’ll never forget me again. So don’t be in pain.

That you still remember me.

That you still……, that you still love me.

Tell me.

Please.

* * *

Eun-soo suddenly woke up. His eyes snapped open as if he had been splashed with cold water. It was because he had suddenly recalled reality.

The rushing car. The shattered windshield. Do-kwon flying through the air. His blood soaking Eun-soo’s palms. And Do-kwon coming out of the operating room. Do-kwon not opening his eyes.

Recalling that, he couldn’t sleep any longer, no matter how heavy his body felt. Bolting upright, Eun-soo stared wide-eyed. Mellow sunlight filled the surroundings.

It seemed he had drifted off. Just a moment ago, the whole world had been pitch black. Eun-soo rubbed his eyelids vigorously, clearing his blurred vision.

Then he realized he was lying on a patient’s bed. Not a cot or a sofa, but the large, plush bed characteristic of a private room. It was the place where Do-kwon had been lying.

Startled, Eun-soo practically jumped off the bed. And then he collapsed flat on his face. He had forgotten that his ankle was in no condition to support his body.

His ankle throbbed, but Eun-soo didn’t even let out a short groan. It would be more accurate to say he didn’t have the presence of mind to do so.

He stared at the empty bed with hollow eyes. Do-kwon was gone. He scanned the entire room. On the sofa, beyond the half-open bathroom door—Do-kwon was nowhere to be found. Moreover, it seemed he had been gone for a while, as his pheromone scent was very faint.

Eun-soo’s eyes distorted with anxiety. Where on earth did a man who just had surgery go? Did he step out for a moment? But there was no reason to leave. Why bother? In that condition?

Could it be…… that he found my scent disgusting, and because he hated being in the same space as a strange Omega sleeping against the bed, he left? He grew afraid.

No, that can’t be it. Hadn’t he been lying in the bed? Do-kwon must have moved him. There was no way a memory-loss version of him would show such kindness to a strange Omega. Unless he had just dumped him on the floor and Eun-soo had woken up from that.

But…… still, just in case. He had to check if there were any changes in Do-kwon’s head, his memory, or his personality. He had to find Do-kwon and ask.

Eun-soo gripped the bed frame and slowly hauled himself up. With one leg feeling heavy and it being difficult to put his foot on the ground, just standing up drained his energy.

Without the presence of mind to look for crutches, Eun-soo limped toward the door. Because he had been holding his breath, his face was beet red. His chest felt tight and his throat stung, yet he couldn’t breathe.

It felt as if he could only breathe once he confirmed that Do-kwon was normal and remembered him. He had to see the face that smiled at him. Otherwise, he would simply suffocate to death.

It was just as Eun-soo gripped the handle of the sliding door. A silhouette appeared in the narrow, opaque window, and the door opened. And,

“…….”

“…….”

He came face-to-face with the Do-kwon he had been searching for so desperately.

Eun-soo took a sharp breath. Do-kwon’s eyelids also tightened. They had only been locking eyes for a few seconds. But in those few seconds, Eun-soo felt his heart racing wildly. Thump, thump, thump, thump—it felt as if it had beaten at least a hundred times.

There was a strange irritation on Do-kwon’s face. His mouth was set firmly, and his eyebrows were drawn into steep slopes.

He was clearly angry. Having known Do-kwon for years, judging his mood by his expression was not difficult for Eun-soo at all.

Eun-soo instinctively stepped backward. Then, losing his balance, his body tilted. Just as he thought he was falling and squeezed his eyes shut, Do-kwon grabbed Eun-soo’s elbow to steady him.

“You have to be careful.”

The distance between the two closed sharply. Do-kwon’s characteristic low voice scratched ticklishly against Eun-soo’s ear.

“Ah…….”

Eun-soo let out a short sigh. Looking up at Do-kwon, he called him in a small voice.

“Do-kwon-ssi…….”

“Yeah.”

The answer came immediately. It was a very short response, but it was a familiar one—familiar enough to instantly relax Eun-soo’s tense shoulders.

It was Do-kwon. The whole Do-kwon, who hadn’t lost his memory. The Do-kwon who had woken up in the same bed yesterday and gone grocery shopping with him.

Eun-soo took repeated breaths, calming his pounding heart. His nose tingled with relief. He tentatively crumpled the fabric of Do-kwon’s patient gown and asked.

“Where, where did you go?”

“Ah, to the doctor. Your ankle looked pretty badly hurt, so I went to ask. He said you’ll have to use crutches for a while.”

“…….”

“I heard you didn’t get treatment right away? Why did you do that? What if it was a serious injury? You hate coming to the hospital so much, so why didn’t you think of that? You have to get treated and get better quickly. Do you want to keep drifting in and out of the hospital for physical therapy?”

Do-kwon scolded Eun-soo softly. He wouldn’t have said a word about anything else, but Eun-soo’s physical health was a very sensitive matter, so he couldn’t help but get angry. Hearing that there was a hairline fracture, that the muscle was shocked, that the ankle was severely swollen, and that he’d need crutches for a while—he felt as if flames were erupting over his head.

Back then. When the car came. He should have pushed him more carefully. Because Do-kwon was hurt because of him, he wasn’t just upset; he was angry.

“No, I’m sorry. I’m the one who got you hurt. I was just so shocked when I saw the cast.”

Do-kwon sighed through his nose and apologized. Right, it was his fault, so what was the point of getting angry at Eun-soo? If he had just killed Seong-heon sooner, this wouldn’t have happened in the first place. Do-kwon struggled to contain his anger. Then, he forced a smile, lifting the corners of his mouth artificially.

“While I was out, I had the head bandages removed. I’d look ugly if I kept them wrapped around. They said a bandage would be enough.”

“…….”

“I also checked the hospital food, and it doesn’t seem like something worth eating. Should we order delivery? Something like sandwiches? Or is there something else you want to eat?”

Do-kwon carefully supported Eun-soo and sat him on the sofa. Then, he knelt on the floor below the sofa. He rambled on about menus Eun-soo might like while examining Eun-soo’s ankle. Seeing the rock-like cast hanging below the slender calf made his temples throb again.

Do-kwon gently stroked the cast. Even so, Eun-soo wouldn’t be able to feel it. He was immensely worried that it might hurt.

After examining Eun-soo’s ankle for a while, Do-kwon belatedly noticed Eun-soo’s silence. Normally, he would have chattered about what he wanted to eat or suggested ordering this and that. He was too quiet.

Feeling puzzled, Do-kwon looked up at Eun-soo.

“……Eun-soo?”

His face was heavily distorted, and tears were dripping down.

He was crying so sorrowfully. Without a single sob, the tears pouring out—drip, drip—looked so painful.

Startled, Do-kwon flustered, not knowing what to do. His hand touched Eun-soo’s shoulder, then moved to his cheek, hesitated, and then wiped away the tears clinging to the tip of his chin.

“Eun-soo. Why are you crying? Huh? Does something hurt? Your ankle? Or somewhere else?”

Do-kwon asked, his own face turning mournful. Eun-soo just shook his head without saying a word. Do-kwon’s hand clenched and unclenched repeatedly. Is he this upset because he’s shocked? Well, after seeing that sight, it would be stranger if he were fine.

“Eun-soo……. Don’t cry…….”

Do-kwon diligently wiped away Eun-soo’s tears. Then, Eun-soo gripped Do-kwon’s hand tightly. With his other hand, he grabbed Do-kwon’s shoulder.

It was a touch quite different from usual. It wasn’t just gripping; it was far more desperate and earnest. It was the touch of someone hanging off a cliff, entrusting their life to a thin branch.

As Do-kwon frowned, Eun-soo looked at him with bloodshot eyes.

“I thought you…… forgot…… me again…….”

“Ah…….”

Do-kwon let out a sigh. His head, which hadn’t been hurting, suddenly began to ache. He hadn’t thought that far. Right, he had injured his head of all places, so there was no way Eun-soo wouldn’t worry about that. He had been too inconsiderate. It was something he could have easily predicted. He had been so focused on Eun-soo’s ankle…….

Do-kwon forced eye contact with Eun-soo, who had his head bowed low. Then, he painstakingly wiped away the tears that had dampened Eun-soo’s cheeks.

“I’m sorry.”

“Huu…….”

“I’m sorry, Eun-soo.”

“Hic, huuu…….”

“I’m sorry. I messed up.”

Do-kwon apologized with all his heart. He would have preferred his limbs to be torn or his stomach ripped open. Of all things, he had to injure his head, plunging Eun-soo back into the terror of the past. He should have avoided a head injury at all costs.

He could easily imagine what Eun-soo had thought during the day he was unconscious, and what kind of hell he had been struggling in.

How scared he must have been. How miserable he must have been.

I had made Eun-soo cry again. I had hurt him again. Unless I was insane, how could I—how dare I—hurt Eun-soo again? Do-kwon felt as if he wanted to just drop dead.

Kneeling, Do-kwon spoke while continuously stroking Eun-soo’s cheek.

“Eun-soo, I… I won’t forget you ever again. It won’t happen again. I will never, ever forget.”

“…….”

“I’m sorry.”

“…….”

“I’m sorry for making you cry again.”

Do-kwon’s heartfelt apologies continued. Despite this, Eun-soo’s tears showed no sign of stopping. Do-kwon groaned in agony. He wrapped his arms around Eun-soo’s waist and buried his cheek against his thigh. Then, he asked in a sorrowful voice.

“Eun-soo. What should I do? What do I have to do for you to stop crying? Hmm? What can I do for you…….”

Every time Eun-soo’s breath hitched and broke due to his sobbing, Do-kwon felt a pain as if a piece of his heart were being torn away. He wanted to cry with him because the situation was so regrettable and painful, but feeling he had no right to cry, he forced himself to swallow his tears.

Do-kwon pleaded, his face contorted.

“Ah…… Eun-soo……. Please…… don’t cry…….”

At the sound of his trembling voice, Eun-soo squeezed his eyes shut and then opened them. He took a deep breath, inhaling deeply again and again. He swallowed hard and wiped away the tears that had stained his entire face.

While staring into space to compose his emotions, Eun-soo lightly stroked the back of Do-kwon’s head. At that, Do-kwon snapped his head up. Eun-soo cupped Do-kwon’s cheeks with both hands and quietly met his gaze. Then, in a voice that still held the remnants of crying, he spoke softly.

“Don’t be in pain anymore.”

“……Okay.”

Do-kwon nodded. Eun-soo then gently rubbed his cheekbone with his thumb, as if praising a good boy.

“Don’t get hurt, either.”

“Okay.”

“And don’t leave me alone.”

“Okay. I’ll never leave you alone.”

“You can’t sleep all day, either. Don’t let me see you sleeping for too long. It’s scary.”

“Okay. I’ll go to sleep later than you and wake up earlier.”

“Still, you have to be by my side when I wake up. Definitely.”

“Okay, definitely.”

Do-kwon nodded repeatedly.

“…….”

Eun-soo, who had been speaking, suddenly fell silent. Do-kwon looked up at him blankly. Eun-soo’s Adam’s apple moved slowly up and down. Hesitating for a moment, he carefully parted his lips.

“And also, also…….”

“What else should I do?”

“Every day…… tell me you love me every day. While calling my name, saying ‘Eun-soo’.”

At those words, Do-kwon finally burst into the tears he had been suppressing. His eyes instantly grew moist, and a single tear plopped down. He covered the hand Eun-soo had placed on his cheek with his own. Then, meeting Eun-soo’s eyes, he gave a beaming smile.

“……I’ll do it every hour.”

“…….”

“I love you. I love you, Eun-soo.”

I love you. Do-kwon whispered his love incessantly. He confessed and confessed again, filling every word and syllable with sincerity. Eun-soo blinked slowly, savoring the love pouring down upon him.

After receiving Do-kwon’s love about a hundred times like that.

Eun-soo was finally able to stop crying.

* * *

Spring had descended upon the whole world. Sprouts rose and flowers bloomed over the frozen earth. The flowers in full bloom in every garden bed could not have been more fresh. The winter wind that had scratched the cheeks painfully vanished, and the ticklish, fresh scent characteristic of spring teased the corners of the lips. Thanks to that, every person passing by the street had a smiling face.

Eun-soo was standing in front of the company’s main gate. There were still fifteen minutes left until the appointed time, but the person waiting for him would likely arrive soon. He always came early. Knowing that better than anyone, Eun-soo had intentionally come out early.

Eun-soo stared up at the sky filled with the sunset. Soft clouds were dyed by the sunset, taking on a beautiful pink hue. Watching them, fluffy clouds seemed to fill the area around his chest as well.

Eun-soo lightly touched his stomach. He could feel his flat, smooth stomach through his dress shirt. It felt strangely disappointing and empty. It was because he still vividly remembered the feeling from a few years ago when it had been rounded and protruding.

Stroking his stomach, Eun-soo slowly looked around. The pink sky. The roadside trees swaying gently. People smiling on their way home from work. Cars that looked strangely reddish under the sunset.

Looking at that ordinary, unremarkable scenery, Eun-soo suddenly thought that this world, this warm spring, was too beautiful to be seen and appreciated by him alone.

Just as he wished there were someone to see it with, a sleek, luxury sedan stopped in front of him. It was a familiar car.

As Eun-soo smiled and walked toward the car, the person in the driver’s seat scrambled out before he could even reach it.

“Eun-soo. Why are you out here already?”

It was Do-kwon. Approaching with long strides, he stood before Eun-soo. He then lightly took the bag and coat from Eun-soo’s hand. Eun-soo handed them over habitually.

“Just because. The weather is nice.”

“Is it? Then shall we go for a walk somewhere?”

Eun-soo nodded readily. It would be a waste to let weather like this pass by without enjoying it. Do-kwon let out a faint laugh. He wondered why Eun-soo’s eyes sparkled so much over a mere walk. Finding the sight lovely, he pressed his lips firmly against Eun-soo’s plump cheek and pulled away.

Eun-soo smiled faintly. Do-kwon smiled back and took his hand. He then quickly escorted Eun-soo to the car.

“Aren’t you hungry? Should we eat something and then go for a walk?”

Do-kwon asked while turning the steering wheel. Eun-soo replied simply, “I’m fine,” and shifted his gaze out the window. The roadside trees flashed by quickly.

As they entered Teheran-ro, the car stopped frequently. The cars filling the road crawled like turtles. Even so, Eun-soo didn’t frown once. The languid sunlight. The commute home after all tasks were finished. Do-kwon’s pheromones subtly filling the car. He felt like he would be fine even if he were trapped in the car for several more hours.

It was after the car had stopped about three times. Do-kwon lightly took Eun-soo’s hand and began to massage it. As Eun-soo turned his head toward him.

“I love you.”

Do-kwon confessed suddenly. Eun-soo’s eyebrows arched upward.

“……What?”

“I haven’t been able to do it for ten hours already. I have to be diligent starting now.”

“Ah…….”

“I love you, Eun-soo.”

“Yes.”

Eun-soo chuckled softly. About a month ago, Do-kwon, who had promised to say he loved him every hour, had truly tried to keep that promise.

It was a given during the mornings or evenings they spent together, but he would also call out of the blue during work hours to say he loved him, or buy a bunch of macarons during lunch break and wait by the emergency exit to say he loved him—he expressed his love in a vast variety of ways.

Though it was occasionally bothersome, it was… quite cute.

Do-kwon, who had been staring blankly at the smiling Eun-soo, pressed his lips against the back of Eun-soo’s hand in several quick kisses. Then, suddenly with a serious expression, he rubbed the back of Eun-soo’s hand as if wiping it. It was as if he were worried it might wear down. Then he began to massage the hand again.

Eun-soo watched Do-kwon quietly. Then, he called him in a flat voice.

“Do-kwon.”

“Yeah.”

“Us.”

“Yeah.”

“Shall we have a baby?”

“……Huh?”

Do-kwon opened his mouth with a vacant expression.

“I said, let’s have a baby.”

Eun-soo kindly repeated the words for him. Do-kwon’s jaw moved up and down like a fish.

“My heat cycle is next week. How about that day?”

Eun-soo said nonchalantly. He probably would have been more cautious about setting a lunch appointment.

“…….”

Do-kwon didn’t answer. He looked as if he had been hit in the back of the head. Eun-soo let out a smirk. A flustered Do-kwon was always so entertaining to watch. He had a certain taste for teasing him.

Just then, horns honked behind the car. The light had changed. Do-kwon, his shoulders jolting, gently pressed the accelerator. His wide eyes stared intently forward. His open mouth snapped shut.

“…….”

“Why aren’t you answering? Do you not want to?”

Eun-soo pressed Do-kwon. It was mean behavior. But what could he do? Seeing the veins bulging on the back of Do-kwon’s hand gripping the steering wheel, seeing him constantly lick his parched lips, and seeing the cold sweat on his temples, he couldn’t help but tease him.

Every time he felt Do-kwon within the palm of his hand, a shiver ran down his spine.

While Eun-soo was trying to hide his smile, Do-kwon, swallowing his dry saliva like cold water, spoke haltingly.

“T-that, uh, Eun-soo.”

“Yes.”

“Wait. Just, just a second. Let me just park. I’m out of it right now, uh, I can’t have an accident, so just a second…….”

Do-kwon repeated the same words over and over while scanning the road. Finding the entrance to an alley, he drove the car toward it. Soon, the car stopped in a safe spot. Turning off the engine, Do-kwon relaxed his tense shoulders. Then, with a face like a job seeker entering an interview room, he looked at Eun-soo.

“……Are you serious?”

“Would I joke about something like getting pregnant?”

“No, I know that……. It’s just, I can’t believe it…….”

Do-kwon rubbed his face vigorously with both hands. Then he looked at Eun-soo and rubbed his face again, looked at Eun-soo again, sighed, and gripped the steering wheel, repeating the cycle in a fuss.

Then, suddenly, his eyes turned red. Tears filled his sharp eyes in an instant. Do-kwon cried with his mouth shut tight. He didn’t dare even turn his head toward Eun-soo, crying while staring straight ahead.

“…….”

While Do-kwon cried, Eun-soo watched the sky deepening into purple. He thought to himself that the walk for today was out of the question.

It was strange. He used to have so many tears himself. But when Do-kwon cried, the urge to cry vanished. It felt as if there was no need to be sad. It was as if Do-kwon were crying on his behalf. As if he were being sad and in pain instead of him.

Thanks to that, Eun-soo became stronger. Because while Do-kwon cried for him, he was able to solidly rebuild his heart that had collapsed and crumbled. Although he could not recover what was lost, he gained many other things instead. For example,

How to endure.

How to rebuild things that had fallen.

How to sew a torn heart.

How to hold on a little, and let go a little.

And…… how to miss lost beings in moderation.

Things like how to fill the empty spaces they left with another love.

He wondered if the reason God had kept him alive until now, the reason He hadn’t taken him despite his numerous longings for death, was to let him realize all these things.

So, Eun-soo felt that he could now spend the ‘spring’ he greeted every year like a true ‘spring’. He felt he could enjoy ‘spring’ while watering a small tree, checking on it frequently, and loving it.

Eun-soo looked at Do-kwon. Tears were still streaming down his handsome face. Eun-soo called Do-kwon softly.

“Do-kwon.”

“Uh, Eun-soo, just a second…….”

“Propose to me right now.”

“……What?”

“Propose. Hurry.”

Do-kwon blinked slowly. Thick tears fell every time his eyelids moved. Do-kwon roughly wiped his face with the back of his hand. Then, with a flustered look, he fiddled with the ring on his ring finger. It was an incomplete ring, the only one of a pair.

“You don’t have your ring, Eun-soo…….”

“We were going to do it without them anyway. Four years ago. In the car on the way to the OB-GYN. You did it suddenly on the road. Try doing it like then.”

At those words, Do-kwon wiped his tears once more. Then he carefully wrapped his hand around Eun-soo’s. Clearing his throat, he called Eun-soo’s name in a sweet voice.

“Eun-soo.”

“Yes.”

“Shall we.”

“Yes.”

“Get married?”

Do-kwon asked, the corners of his lips curling into a smile. His eyes were teary, but it was a truly fresh smile. Eun-soo stared at that smile and thought.

He had lived a life that grew heavier the more he lost. He had repeated the cycle of screaming, crying, writhing, and fainting under that weight. It was because he had stubbornly clung to losses that were as jagged as shards of glass.

But now he knew how to let go. He knew how to empty, how to leave that emptied space just as it was, and how to love while leaving it empty.

Eun-soo smiled back at Do-kwon. Then he slowly nodded.

“Yes. Let’s get married.”

Not too much, not too little, regarding the things he had lost.

My perfect end, filled just enough.

Our perfect end.

-The End-

Volume 7 Side Story

Moderate Loss

Side Story

Moderate Loss Side Story

01 Do-kwon’s Day

01+ Another Day for Do-kwon

02 A Magnificent Wedding

03 A New Family

04 Until Meeting You Made Us ‘We’