By Zephyria 
Eun-soo couldn’t even touch the breakfast served at the hospital. The soy-braised beef smelled so pungently of soy sauce. The kimchi smelled of all sorts of salted seafood, and to make matters worse, the side dish was grilled mackerel. It was a menu that felt like it was urging Eun-soo to starve.
Eun-soo didn’t touch the food. No, he couldn’t. Just having it in front of him made him nauseous, so he stepped out of the patient room.
Eun-soo’s room was at the end of the hallway, and the good thing about that was that there weren’t many people around. Additionally, there was a wide window on the wall, making it a great spot to waste his gaze blankly.
Eun-soo struggled to open the project window, which barely opened a hand-span, and breathed in the outside air deeply. He thought about just going outside, but seeing the garden below filled with people smoking, he couldn’t bring himself to go.
Ah, I want to be discharged.
Leaning diagonally against the wall, Eun-soo thought indifferently. It had only been two days since he was admitted, but he already felt suffocated. He missed home. If he were home, he could eat fruit or whatever he wanted.
“Bomi, just wait a little. Once the smell clears out of the room, I’ll eat the risotto. The Executive Director bought me three containers yesterday. It’s rose sauce with bacon, so I should be able to eat that.”
Eun-soo murmured, patting his stomach. And he had to eat tangerines too. He had left one tangerine from the ones his grandmother gave him yesterday. As Eun-soo smacked his lips, imagining the sour taste,
“Eun… soo? You’re Eun-soo, right? Hello?”
An unfamiliar voice tickled the nape of his neck.
“…….”
Startled by the sudden presence of another person, Eun-soo’s shoulders jerked. He hoped the greeting wasn’t for him. Regardless of who it belonged to, a low man’s voice wasn’t particularly welcome.
But a silhouette was reflected in the smudged window. That silhouette was looking at Eun-soo, and judging by the firm stance, it didn’t seem like they would disappear just because he pretended not to hear.
Inevitably, Eun-soo hesitantly turned around. Standing there was a man as unfamiliar as his voice. A man in his 30s. Tall. Broad shoulders. Handsome features. And… a faint scent of an Alpha.
Eun-soo looked at him with a wary expression. Could it be that man from the hotel? How did he find him at the hospital? Still, there were many people around, so he probably wouldn’t be able to harm him. If necessary, he would just scream. While Eun-soo was thinking this, the man smiled brightly and introduced himself.
“I’m Hwang Seong-ok’s son.”
At those words, Eun-soo blinked rapidly. Then, raising his eyebrows high, he gave a polite bow.
“Ah, ah… Yes. Hello.”
Hwang Seong-ok was the name of the grandmother in the next bed. This man seemed to be her son. Eun-soo’s sharp vigilance softened considerably. The man smiled.
“A pretty-looking student recently moved into the room, and my mother was so happy, saying how sweet they are. I wanted to come and say hello.”
“Ah… I’m thirty, but the grandmother keeps calling me a student.”
“Please understand. She calls my friends students too, and they’re forty.”
“Wow… you’re forty? You don’t look it. You look very young.”
“You too, Eun-soo. You really look like a student. I’d believe it if you said you were in high school.”
A warm conversation ensued. They were the typical things said during a first meeting. Only they would know if they were sincere or not. Still, feeling slightly embarrassed, Eun-soo rubbed his pale face, and the man spoke cautiously.
“I heard… you’re pregnant.”
“Ah, yes. I’m almost five months along.”
“But you’re still having morning sickness? It’s well past the time it should have ended.”
Eun-soo’s eyes widened at that. They had just met, so how did he… Did the grandmother tell him? Seeing Eun-soo’s surprised face, the man quickly added more.
“Ah, I have three children of my own. So I’m something of an expert when it comes to pregnancy and childbirth. I just guessed because I saw you out here instead of eating.”
“Ah….”
Eun-soo nodded as if he understood. He remembered that the grandmother had been particularly fond of bragging about her grandchildren. He wondered if the bragging was tripled because she had so many.
“The doctor did say it’s rare. They said if the fetus’s development is slow… morning sickness can last longer.”
“You must be very worried.”
“I suppose… yes….”
“All that talk about Omegas having easy births is bullshit. My wife struggled so much… But we love kids, so we kept having them, and now we have three. The house is a war zone.”
The man wrinkled his nose, imagining his chaotic home. Eun-soo wore a faint smile. Even if Bomi tore the house down, he just wanted them to be born healthy. He gently stroked his stomach.
The man glanced at Eun-soo’s slightly bulging belly. For five months, the belly was too small. He knew that the degree of swelling varied by person and some didn’t show much until full term, but perhaps because Eun-soo was exceptionally thin, it looked somewhat pitiful.
I heard he likes tangerines. I should buy some next time I come. While the man was thinking this with a characteristic meddlesomeness inherited from his mother, Eun-soo skillfully changed the subject.
“I’m being discharged in two days.”
“Really? That’s great.”
“When is the grandmother being discharged?”
“…….”
For the first time, the man fell silent. Eun-soo gasped at the sudden change in atmosphere, thinking he had asked an impolite question. The man looked out the window with a bittersweet smile.
“I don’t know. I don’t even hope for a discharge anymore; I just wish she could stay somewhere for a long time.”
“…….”
Eun-soo stood beside him and followed his gaze out the window. It was clearly a sunny summer day outside, but because of the grime on the window, the world looked dark. Almost as if it were raining.
Eun-soo and the man shared many more stories after that. They chatted about the grandmother, how poor the hospital facilities were, about pregnancy and childbirth, and how the man’s third daughter had learned the alphabet.
Thanks to that, time passed quickly. The smell of food that had filled the hallway and the room had vanished completely.
“Shall we head back in?”
The man smiled and gestured toward the room. It was as if he were guiding Eun-soo. He had mentioned he was a car dealer, and it seemed that treating customers was ingrained in him. Eun-soo chuckled and followed his lead back into the room.
Then, as he glanced down the long hallway, he caught a scent—just a flicker—of Do-kwon’s scent.
Eun-soo tilted his head.
Is it an illusion? It must be. The faint scent definitely seemed to be Do-kwon’s, but Eun-soo dismissed it as a mistake.
There was no way Do-kwon would come to this hospital at this hour.
“Eun-soo?”
The man called Eun-soo with a questioning look. Eun-soo shook his head and stepped into the room.
* * *
He was finally discharged from the hospital. And the moment he was discharged, the terrible morning sickness ended. For the first time in a long while, Eun-soo was happy. He had been utterly depressed, feeling like he hadn’t been able to do a single thing right for Bomi while carrying them. Now that he could at least provide food, it was only natural.
He hadn’t fully recovered from the pheromone shock, and he still occasionally had stomach pains, chills, or cold sweats, but it was much better than before.
He began to hope that if he just endured and held on day by day, everything would be okay.
Having eaten two bowls of rice and braised short ribs for breakfast, Eun-soo went to work with a much brighter face. He even held a strawberry yogurt smoothie in one hand.
Because he had eaten well, even the hellish morning subway didn’t feel so bad. What should I eat for lunch? What about dinner? While he pondered these as if they were matters of grave importance, he reached his destination in an instant. It was a strange experience.
Upon arriving at work, Eun-soo had to receive a truckload of worried words from his team members. But that was only for a moment; the morning was frantically busy. No matter how much he had worked from the hospital, there were limits due to security issues, and there were many things that had to be handled directly at the office, and many things to confirm and be confirmed.
His eyes felt dry after clicking the mouse, checking emails, and uploading and downloading files. Around then, the long-awaited lunch break arrived.
Eun-soo, who had once quelled his hunger with cookies Do-kwon had bought him, stood up as if he had been waiting for this moment. Despite eating that much for breakfast and having a large smoothie, he was already hungry.
Eun-soo informed his team that he would be paying for lunch today. The employees’ eyes sparkled as they rose from their seats. This was because the restaurants Eun-soo took them to were always delicious.
Eun-soo and his team went to an Italian restaurant near the company. Eun-soo aggressively ordered everything on the menu: pasta, pizza, risotto, steak, and drinks including ades.
The server diligently noted the items Eun-soo called out and, before long, began bringing out the appetizers one by one.
The meal was beyond perfect. All the food was delicious, the chatter with the team was pleasant, and the laughter was abundant.
The server asked for permission and began collecting the piles of empty plates. In response, Eun-soo requested the menu again. This restaurant’s desserts and coffee were also excellent. Unfortunately, he couldn’t drink coffee, but his team members would surely enjoy it.
Eun-soo passed the menu to his team, telling them to pick a coffee each. Then, a team member sitting close by whispered in a low voice.
“Team Leader. There are only 10 minutes left of lunch break. I think it would be better to take the coffee to go.”
“Ah, already? Hmm… it’s okay. It’s fine if we’re a bit late.”
“Really?”
“Who’s going to say something? If they do, I’ll just tell the Chairman.”
Eun-soo shrugged, speaking nonchalantly. It wasn’t like it was something else; if he said he was late because he was eating, or that he spent some time with his team for the first time in a while, Myeong-hui would just pat him on the back and say he did well without another word.
At Eun-soo’s words, a team member sitting opposite him let out a raspy, middle-aged man-like exclamation of admiration.
“Kuu… that’s a really cool thing to say, Team Leader.”
“Right? I felt cool saying it and shrugging too.”
The team members burst into laughter at Eun-soo’s words. Trusting the Team Leader, they each ordered their preferred coffee and cake. Eun-soo ordered lemonade, cheesecake, and chocolate fudge cake.
The desserts arrived quickly. With his cheeks lifted high from the sugar-filled food, Eun-soo moved his fork busily. Watching him, a team member smiled and said,
“Team Leader, it’s so good to see you eating well.”
At that, the team member sitting next to them nodded and lifted their coffee cup.
“I know. Your morning sickness lasted so long, and your complexion hasn’t been good lately, and then you suddenly took sick leave—we were so worried.”
In an instant, Eun-soo’s pupils wavered violently. The fork he was bringing to his mouth stopped, and as a result, the cake on the fork plopped down.
“…M-morning sickness?”
“Yes. We thought maybe something had happened to the baby….”
“Mi-young!”
Another team member quickly cut her off. At that, Mi-young clamped her hand over her lips.
“Oh my… I’m sorry.”
“D-did you know I was pregnant?”
A flustered Eun-soo stammered. His heart sank. He had thought they would find out once his belly grew more even if he didn’t reveal it, but he hadn’t imagined they already knew. Well, it wasn’t something to hide, but being flustered was still flustered.
The team members exchanged glances. Then, one of them spoke rapidly with a ‘what the hell’ expression.
“Gosh, how could we not know? Someone who never did that was nodding off during work hours, dry heaving, unable to eat properly, and wouldn’t even look at the coffee you used to live on.”
“That’s right. And you never used to wear pants with elastic waistbands. But your shirts suddenly became strangely boxy in fit….”
“Above all, Director Seo was even more extra than usual. Ah, is it wrong to say it like this?”
“But really, there’s no other word for it besides ‘extra.’ Of course, in a good way. Before, he only came during lunch or quitting time, but since you got pregnant, he’s been popping his head into the 14th floor every hour.”
“Right. One time he even asked me not to recommend coffee or caffeinated tea because it’s bad for the body, since he’s managing the Team Leader’s health these days.”
Eun-soo covered his eyes with his hand at the flood of words. He thought he had hidden it, but he had been that obvious. And what on earth was Do-kwon thinking, doing things like that… His head throbbed.
“Uh… wow… you all knew. That… yes, that’s right. I’m five months along now.”
Eun-soo confessed honestly. At that, the team members began fidgeting in their seats with excitement.
“Oh my, oh my. We didn’t know the exact month.”
“Already five months? Daebak. You’ll give birth this year!”
“At five months, it must be quite big. Have you seen the fingers and toes?”
“What about the prenatal nickname? What did you name the baby?”
Eun-soo rubbed the nape of his neck, embarrassed by the pouring interest.
“Bomi.”
“Ah… Bomi….”
“My goodness. Bomi. That’s so pretty.”
“Right? It’s pretty, isn’t it? Do-kwon—no, I mean, the Director gave the name.”
“What about the gender? Do you know?”
“Yes. It’s a girl.”
At those words, the team members let out screams of delight. A girl, that’s wonderful. They say daughters are the best; if she looks like the Team Leader and Director Seo, she’ll be incredible—make her an actress. Definitely. You’re not just having one daughter, right? Please have at least three or four, please.
He was completely overwhelmed by the string of comments. Blinking rapidly, Eun-soo soon nodded.
If his body would allow it, he wanted to have many children. Whether it was two, three, or five, it didn’t matter—as many as possible. Having lived as an only child, he had been very lonely. It might have been different if his parents were still around. But after they left, the feeling of being completely alone was piercing.
Eun-soo and his team continued to chat for a long time after that. It was amazing how they had so much to say even though they saw each other every day, and that there were always updates to share.
Then, Eun-soo,
“This is a story about my friend,”
started with a contrived opening, which was quite impulsive.
Eun-soo worked overtime today for the first time in a while. After sending all the team members home, he remained alone. It was to wrap up his work. Since becoming pregnant, he had shamelessly made a habit of leaving exactly on time. Today, he organized his work, made up for the extended lunch break, and re-examined the work the team members had done.
Actually, there were more important things—things regarding Do-kwon or Bomi that he needed to care for—but since he was an adult and an employee, he had to do his assigned work. Ruining work with emotions was not something someone his age should do.
Only when the long summer sun had passed and full night had arrived did Eun-soo prepare to leave.
Eun-soo didn’t go straight home but went up to the upper floors of the company. Specifically, to the Director’s office.
Do-kwon probably hadn’t left for the day. In the two years he had known him, he had never seen him leave on time unless they had a separate appointment. According to Secretary Jeong, he had been a terrible workaholic before they started dating. So, he would be in the office today as well.
Stepping into the elevator, Eun-soo took a piece of chocolate from his jacket and put it in his mouth.
Today, he would definitely have a conversation with Do-kwon. It couldn’t be a brawl of a conversation where emotions took over and uncontrolled pheromones sprayed everywhere; it had to be a calm and rational discussion. He needed to pour out everything that had happened to him and see this through, whether he was the one apologizing or the one receiving an apology.
Ah, by “see this through,” he didn’t mean the end of their relationship. He meant putting an end to this incident and this situation.
Before the elevator reached its destination, Eun-soo took out a suppressant and chewed it. Because of the pheromone shock, he couldn’t control his pheromones on his own, so he had to keep taking them like this. Moreover, he had to hide his pheromones even more thoroughly when meeting Do-kwon. If he went around leaking them, Do-kwon would likely view him as a vulgar Omega again.
Though it was like poison to his body, especially to a pregnant body, he had to keep taking this poison bit by bit if he didn’t want to die.
Just as Eun-soo frowned at the bitter, dry taste of the medicine, the elevator opened with a ding. Taking a small deep breath, he stepped out.
The hallway leading to the CEO’s office was quiet. It seemed the secretaries had all gone home for the day, as the area was silent and the desk was empty.
Eun-soo looked left and right. He peeked into the breakroom and meeting rooms, searching for any sign of someone. But there was no one. Eun-soo bit his lower lip firmly.
Walking briskly across the hallway, he stood before the CEO’s office. He felt it every time he came here, but the large, sturdy black door was exactly like Do-kwon.
Taking a light breath, Eun-soo knocked. He waited for an answer. However, no response came.
Fidgeting with his fingers, Eun-soo gripped the doorknob and pushed firmly. But the door didn’t budge. It was locked.
“Damn it…”
Eun-soo wrinkled his nose in annoyance.
Should he have come earlier? Should he have come to see Do-kwon before starting work? He had only delayed it because he wasn’t confident he could handle his work with a clear head after meeting him. He hadn’t imagined that Do-kwon would leave work early.
In truth, he could have known just by sending a single message to Secretary Jeong, but… he was scared… specifically, he was scared that Do-kwon would find out about his visit and avoid him.
Yet, strangely, once he confirmed Do-kwon wasn’t there, his mind felt at ease. Though his face was scowling, his racing heart calmed down. It was a contradiction.
Eun-soo stood blankly in front of the locked door for a while. Should he just go home? Go eat something? He was tired. He was sleepy. Did he really have to reach a resolution with Do-kwon today? Wouldn’t tomorrow be fine?
Such lazy thoughts began to sprout. Then, he suddenly snapped his head up.
Why had he been pushing back the meeting with Do-kwon? Why should he be afraid to face him? He hadn’t had a shred of intention in bringing about this situation. He was the one who cried, the one who suffered, and the one who was even hospitalized because of the pain. He was just a pitiful victim. Why should he be the one trembling in fear and pacing anxiously as if he were the criminal?
Eun-soo took a deep breath. Then, he pulled his phone from his pocket.
The destination of the call was, naturally, Do-kwon. He had tried calling Do-kwon after being discharged yesterday, but he hadn’t answered. It was the same this morning, and the same now.
As the ringing continued incessantly, Eun-soo let out a deep sigh. Had he perhaps blocked his number? Or had he thrown his phone into the Han River? Or maybe he had changed his number.
Eun-soo glared at Do-kwon’s number filling the screen. Then, he scrolled down the call list and found Secretary Jeong’s number. He tapped the call button repeatedly.
But for some reason, Secretary Jeong didn’t answer either. After about twenty seconds, the call connected, but before he could even say “Hello,” the line was cut.
The abrupt click felt like a slap to both cheeks, leaving Eun-soo’s jaw hanging open. It felt a bit childish to say at his age, but he felt like he was being bullied. It was the feeling of all his friends hating and cursing him. A feeling of being lonely, sorrowful, miserable, and irritated.
Just as Eun-soo gripped his phone as if to crush it, the device vibrated briefly. It was a message.
[Team Leader Yoo. I’m in a meeting right now, so I can’t take your call ㅠㅠ. Is something wrong?]
“…”
After reading the message, Eun-soo’s expression softened. Tucking his bag under his arm, he tapped out a reply.
[No one is in the CEO’s office. Is Do-kwon with you?]
[Yes. He’s here. But it looks like the meeting will run late, what should we do? He’ll probably head straight home without returning to the office.]
[Yes, I understand. Thanks for letting me know.]
Having finished the short exchange, Eun-soo turned around without hesitation.
* * *
Eun-soo lifted his heels and lowered them, then lifted and lowered them again. After doing that for over ten minutes, his knees began to ache.
Eun-soo was standing in front of Do-kwon’s house. Since he had made up his mind to meet and talk to him, he didn’t want to delay it. Even if Do-kwon avoided his calls, he would eventually come home. Since he hadn’t revealed his destination to Secretary Jeong, Do-kwon wouldn’t expect him to be here.
The problem was that he couldn’t wait indefinitely in the hallway for a Do-kwon who might arrive at any moment. If he stayed at a nearby cafe or restaurant, he wouldn’t know when Do-kwon entered. And unlike the summer world outside, the hallway was freezing.
Eun-soo called Do-kwon again, wondering if the meeting would be over by now. However, Do-kwon’s phone continued to emit only the ringing tone.
Pouting as he pondered, Eun-soo tentatively placed the back of his hand against the door lock. The dark door lock lit up with a flashing light.
“…”
Eun-soo swallowed hard. Had he… changed the password? Had he deleted his fingerprint? After hesitating for a moment, Eun-soo pressed his thumb against the sensor.
Beep-beep-beep, click.
The door opened. Eun-soo’s cheeks puffed up with a smile. He hadn’t changed it. Do-kwon probably hadn’t thought to do so, but still, it made him feel good. It felt as if the house—and Do-kwon—had given him permission.
With a full smile on his face, Eun-soo hurried inside. He took off his shoes, lined them up neatly, and stepped into the hallway.
“…”
A pile of items stacked in boxes entered his field of vision. As if possessed, Eun-soo walked toward them. In a box too large to hold in one’s arms were baby supplies.
Baby shoes, rattles, a bunny doll, baby bottles, and such. Eun-soo instinctively crouched in front of the box. Feeling his stomach being pressed, he slumped down and sat flat on the floor. Then, he gazed at the items filling the box with longing eyes.
“You’re really… so mean…”
Why throw these away? No matter how much he had told him to get rid of the baby or said it didn’t matter if it wasn’t his child, there was no need to go this far.
The mood that had been climbing because the door lock password hadn’t changed plummeted back to the bottom.
It made him sad that Do-kwon seemed to truly want to end their relationship. The scene Do-kwon had seen at the hotel that day was understandable to misunderstand and worth getting angry over. Emotions stemming from his past must have consumed him. He, who had been his lover, must have plummeted in an instant to a promiscuous Omega.
Still, couldn’t he have at least asked? I saw this scene. Is it true? What were you thinking? Couldn’t he have done that?
Well… if he had seen Do-kwon’s back as he entered a hotel room embracing another Omega, he felt he might have lost his reason too.
“Haa…”
Eun-soo let out a long sigh and picked up a rattle. The rattle, thrown away without even being unwrapped, felt truly sorrowful.
Eun-soo sat in front of the box for a long time. He looked at the contents, tried to gauge Do-kwon’s heart in organizing them this way, condemned his ruthlessness, then defended him by mentioning the shock he must have felt because of his love for him, and then felt sad again—it was a complete mess.
Then, only after a loud, embarrassing grumble echoed from his stomach did he snap out of it. When he had morning sickness, he didn’t feel hungry even if he didn’t eat all day. Now, regardless of the situation he faced or how he felt, he was hungry at all hours.
Rubbing his eyelids, Eun-soo stood up.
Entering the kitchen, he rummaged through the refrigerator. But he couldn’t find anything to eat. The last time he came looking for Do-kwon, there had been plenty of fruit. There was no way Do-kwon had eaten it all. He figured the housekeeper probably threw it out once it had rotted from lack of use.
Still, there was a plain yogurt with a decent expiration date in one corner, so he took it out.
Smacking his lips, Eun-soo searched the cupboards and under the island table. There, he found some cookies, candies, and dried sweet potatoes he had eaten once before.
Finding the utensils with familiarity, Eun-soo sat at the table. He broke three or four cookies into the yogurt and scooped it up in large mouthfuls. He chewed on the sweet potatoes in between, scanning the surroundings to see if there was any food he had missed.
After scraping every bit of food, Eun-soo groaned and stood up. It was almost 10 PM, yet there was still no sign of Do-kwon. What kind of meeting took this long?
Pouting, Eun-soo cleaned up the utensils and trash. Then, he spotted some chestnut snacks in the corner of the cupboard and beamed. It felt ridiculous to be so happy and sad over food, but after two months of morning sickness, everything that could go down his throat was precious.
Clutching the bag of chestnuts dearly, Eun-soo wandered slowly through the house. He washed his hands in the bathroom, sat on the living room sofa, watched TV, admired the paintings hanging in the hallway, turned a floor lamp taller than himself on and off, and flipped through books.
Then, he went up to the second floor and flopped onto Do-kwon’s bed. It smelled like Do-kwon.
Eun-soo took a deep breath. The last time he had smelled Do-kwon’s pheromones, they hadn’t been this subtle. They had been very rough and oppressive. Being an Omega, he had helplessly collapsed and flushed under those pheromones, but it was by no means because he liked it.
The pheromones of Do-kwon that Eun-soo liked were the ones that emanated subtly in daily life. Pheromones slightly thicker and more vivid than those on the bed. Pheromones that made his heart feel at peace just by smelling them.
Wrapping himself tightly in the duvet, Eun-soo munched on the chestnuts. The moderately sweet and nutty chestnuts were truly delicious even in this situation. As he ate the chestnuts one by one, Eun-soo recalled the conversation he had with his team members during lunch today.
A conversation that had started with, ‘This is a story about a friend of mine…’ Eun-soo had indirectly revealed what happened with Do-kwon. Since this was his first time dealing with such a misunderstanding and situation, he needed the advice of others. The only person he could confide in was Seong-heon, but he had told him to dump Do-kwon. And that was not the advice Eun-soo wanted.
‘A friend’s lover saw them with another man.’
‘Oh my, why is that a problem? Is the lover very possessive? Are male or female friends not allowed?’
‘Ah, it’s not that they were just together… it seems the lover saw them entering a ho-hotel.’
At those words, the team members fell silent. Disgust and anger flashed in all their eyes. Gulping down his lemonade, Eun-soo hurriedly added more.
‘It’s… not that the things you’re imagining happened. The friend was in their heat cycle and seems to have mistaken a man they met at the hotel for their lover. Because the pheromones were the same.’
‘Uh… is it possible to mistake something like that? I’m a Beta, so…’
‘Hmm, they mistook them? Isn’t that just an excuse? It sounds like a lie.’
‘How can you mistake pheromones? They’re different for every person. You know that too, Team Leader. Whether Alpha or Omega, pheromone scents are completely distinct. Well, scents might coincidentally be similar, but during a heat cycle, the sense of smell becomes even more sensitive, so to mistake a lover’s pheromones…’
Public opinion shifted unfavorably toward the ‘friend.’ Eun-soo felt as if he were being beaten with a club. He really had mistaken him. That man had been covered in Do-kwon’s pheromones. He couldn’t say that much. Wondering how to explain it, Eun-soo spoke hesitantly.
‘The friend says they were really similar. They clung to him, calling the lover’s name affectionately, and the man didn’t refuse or deny it.’
‘Oh my… if they even called the name and that happened, it is a bit strange.’
‘So the friend naturally thought it was their lover and entered the hotel room together, but once inside, they realized it wasn’t their lover. It felt strange, unfamiliar, and… well, that’s how it was.’
‘And then?’
‘They asked him to stop. They resisted and ran away.’
‘Ah, so in the end, nothing happened?’
‘Yes. Ab-so-lutely nothing happened. The only physical contact was being held by the man all the way to the room because they couldn’t support themselves, and after that, the friend desperately fled.’
‘But the lover happened to see the friend being held by another man?’
‘Yes.’
Eun-soo nodded vigorously at the team member who had accurately pierced through the situation. In response, the team members each showed a troubled expression.
‘Wow… that’s tough. Just hearing about such a scene second-hand would make one lose their mind, let alone seeing it in person…’
‘I agree. It’s really difficult. It would almost be better if something had actually happened. But if nothing happened…’
‘If it’s really not true, they should talk and clear up the misunderstanding.’
‘Isn’t that the kind of suspicion that isn’t solved just by talking?’
‘Besides, there’s no evidence to prove innocence. Even if they say “Nothing happened,” the lover can’t just say “Okay, I see. I misunderstood” and end it.’
‘Exactly. Even if it’s resolved, they’ll keep suspecting them in the future.’
‘Once suspicion starts, it becomes constant. They’ll take something trivial, blow it out of proportion in their head, twist everything, and eventually, they’ll both get exhausted and end it.’
‘Since it’ll end up like that anyway… wouldn’t it be better to just end it now? By any chance, is the friend married? Then it gets more complicated…’
Eun-soo stood dazed, unable to even blink at the words pouring down like a rainstorm. Still, he hadn’t expected there to be not a single positive word. Suspicion that couldn’t be solved through conversation, an end brought by exhaustion, a doomed effort.
A team member, noticing Eun-soo’s pale face, was startled.
‘Oh my, Team Leader. Your expression is so…’
At those words, Eun-soo belatedly rubbed his face vigorously. Then, he quickly put on his mask of a smile.
‘Ah… it’s just that everything you all said is so right… I was organizing what to say to that friend. They’re a dear friend of mine… it makes me feel bad that they’re caught up in something that seems impossible to overcome… That friend really, really likes the lover they’re seeing now.’
‘Oh dear… then tell them to have a deep, proper conversation. They have to make the lover realize their innocence somehow. What’s the point of later if they don’t want to lose that person right now?’
‘That’s right. If they like them that much, they should try to hold on first. If nothing really happened, wouldn’t the lover eventually realize it?’
Unlike the previous comments, these were quite hopeful. They were likely not sincere, but said to comfort the melancholy Eun-soo. Yet, like an idiot, like a fool, Eun-soo felt his heart ease at those words.
That was why he was in Do-kwon’s house now. To beg him to recognize his innocence. Because he didn’t want to end things with him like this. Because he wanted to give Bomi a perfect family without a single flaw.
Buried in the duvet, Eun-soo let out a thick sigh. Even so, he diligently chewed the chestnuts. How long had he been there? Slowly, sleep washed over him. Between the grueling subway commute since morning, working hard, eating hard, and the constant tension and worry because of Do-kwon, his body was exhausted.
His spine felt chilly and his stomach tingled; it seemed the aftereffects of the pheromone shock were returning. He decided he should stop by the OB-GYN tomorrow.
Eun-soo fumbled in his pocket. He was looking for his suppressants, but he realized belatedly that he had draped his jacket over the kitchen chair.
Frowning in annoyance, Eun-soo closed his eyes tightly. He comforted himself by thinking that suppressants were bad for the body anyway and that it was better to escape through sleep. He figured Do-kwon would wake him when he arrived.
And after a few minutes, Eun-soo fell fast asleep.
A dull abdominal pain surged. A tingling sensation in his stomach made it impossible to sleep. Eun-soo frowned with his eyes closed. His entire body felt flushed again. It felt as if sharp shards of glass were circulating through his veins. His chest felt tight, as if someone were pressing down on his heart with both hands, and his whole body was stiff, as if he were suffering from muscle pain.
Clutching his stomach and swallowing the pain, Eun-soo had no choice but to open his eyes. Then, he detected a single streak of pheromone brushing past the tip of his nose. Unable to fully shake off the drowsiness, Eun-soo rolled his clouded eyes. Eventually, he spotted Do-kwon sitting in the single-seater sofa.
Eun-soo bolted upright. He squeezed his eyes shut and opened them again, confirming if the Do-kwon before him was real, if the pheromone scent penetrating his nostrils truly belonged to Do-kwon, and if it wasn’t that man he had met at the hotel.
The conclusion was that it was real. Although the bedroom was dim, it was definitely Do-kwon.
Eun-soo fumbled beside the bed. He found the lamp and clicked it on. A soft, muted light filled the bedroom. It was the moment Do-kwon’s figure was fully revealed.
Dressed in a suit, he had his tie loosened. His jacket was nowhere to be seen, and his expression was difficult to describe—it wasn’t particularly any one thing.
“…….”
“…….”
A brief silence followed. Eun-soo swallowed hard. In that moment, he couldn’t even feel the pain that had been weighing down his body. He was far too tense.
What time is it? When did Do-kwon arrive? How long had he been sitting there? Why didn’t he wake him? What did he think while watching him sleep so peacefully?
Feeling embarrassed, Eun-soo rubbed the back of his neck. Do-kwon simply watched him without saying a word. It was a gaze like someone watching a documentary they had no interest in. So, Eun-soo spoke first.
“Um….”
“…….”
“I came… because I had something to say. I originally intended to see you at the office, but no one was in the director’s office. You weren’t answering your phone either…. I thought I might be able to meet you if I came to your house.”
“…….”
“I’m sorry for entering the bedroom without permission. It’s just… Do-kwon, your scent is so nice. Lately, at night… I haven’t been able to sleep well.”
Eun-soo spoke in a soft, steady voice. There wasn’t a shred of a lie in his words. It had always been this way. Eun-soo was always truthful before Do-kwon, never hiding or sugarcoating anything. Not only was there no need for it, but he had never done anything that warranted such behavior.
Having finished speaking, Eun-soo took a moment to catch his breath. He wondered why his throat felt so dry after barely rambling. It was likely due to the tension. Just as he licked his dry lips and opened his mouth to speak again, Do-kwon spoke in a low voice.
“So. Should I move out of the way so you can sleep comfortably? Or should I hold you and pat your back?”
“…….”
Eun-soo gasped at the words dripping with sarcasm.
Right. He had come expecting this kind of argument, this kind of voice. It seemed he had let go of all the resolve he had gathered while he was asleep. He should have prepared himself. He should have prepared to let the daggers Do-kwon would hurl slide past his ears instead of piercing his chest. Because he had been negligent in that preparation, his heart now throbbed with pain.
Eun-soo looked down at the blanket. The soft, pale blue blanket was one he had bought and laid out himself because he didn’t like Do-kwon’s original navy blue one.
How much time had we spent on this blanket, and beneath it? How many times had we whispered that we loved each other and kissed? We locked eyes, shared body heat, held hands, and slept while embracing each other’s entire bodies, fearing that a clueless cold wind might seep between us. We spent our nights and greeted the mornings, sharing the beginning and end of every day.
I remember every single one of those moments without forgetting a thing. Yet you have forgotten every bit of it and make me hurt like this. The fact was profoundly sorrowful.
Eun-soo gazed at Do-kwon with damp eyes.
“If I asked you to, would you do it?”
“Ha….”
Do-kwon let out a short laugh. Eun-soo’s brazenness seemed very amusing to him. However, Eun-soo didn’t stop there.
“If possible, I’d like you to hold me every night. Not sex, just simple skinship. I’d like us to have at least one meal together, either lunch or dinner, and I’d like you to go to the hospital with me.”
“Why should I do that? I believe I told you to stop this.”
“Because Bomi, who is in my womb, is your child. Because I need your pheromones to give birth to Bomi healthily. Because I… I need you.”
“Which is why this can be solved if you just get rid of the child. I told you to abort specifically so this wouldn’t happen. If you act exactly as I feared… I’ll have no choice but to resolve this legally, Mr. Yoo Eun-soo.”
“…….”
Eun-soo grit his teeth. The law. Alphas and Omegas, who make up half of humanity, are humans created by God solely for the purpose of species reproduction. Consequently, laws regarding pregnancy and childbirth were applied differently, and they were quite inhumane.
Since sex is often driven by pleasure, excitement, and bodily changes, and pregnancy occurs as an ‘unavoidable’ result, ‘unavoidable’ children are born. Therefore, to prevent the ‘unavoidable’ birth of such ‘unavoidable’ children, the child must be forcibly aborted unless both the Alpha and the Omega agree.
Human rights organizations strongly demand revisions to the law, but since ‘unavoidable’ children born this way receive neither love nor economic support, the state is also in a very difficult position. Thus, the law has stubbornly persisted.
And now, Do-kwon was saying he would use that law. If he didn’t remove Bomi with his own hands, Eun-soo would be dragged away like a criminal and laid on a cold operating table.
Eun-soo’s eyelashes trembled. He had tried not to cry. He had tried to clear up the misunderstanding with a clear, truthful voice. But his throat tightened with surging emotion.
Eun-soo gripped the blanket tightly. Then, he spoke in a trembling voice.
“That day, at that hotel… the person you saw… it was me.”
“…….”
“It’s also true that I entered the hotel room held in the arms of… another man.”
At those words, Do-kwon rubbed his face harshly. It was because the scene Eun-soo described—the backs of the two figures he had seen—came back to him. He felt irritated. A headache began to form. He couldn’t understand why he had to listen to this confession.
He didn’t want to hear it. No matter what Eun-soo said, he had no intention of forgiving him, nor did he have the confidence to pretend he hadn’t seen what he saw that day.
Just as Do-kwon was about to speak, Eun-soo continued.
“The doctor said I… must have taken some medication.”
“……Medication?”
“That I took something like a heat inducer or an aphrodisiac… and that’s why my heat cycle started…. I collapsed on the floor, and then that man came in. I thought that man… was you, Do-kwon.”
“…….”
Do-kwon’s eyelids twitched. Medication. Heat inducer. Aphrodisiac. His brow furrowed instinctively at the low-class terminology.
“That man smelled like you. I, I fell, and that man approached me. He smelled like you, and I thought it was you.”
“…….”
“It makes no sense for you to be there at that time, in that moment… but I wasn’t in my right mind… so I just smelled the scent and thought it was you….”
“You weren’t in your right mind?”
Do-kwon sneered. What a convenient excuse. Not being in one’s right mind. There was nothing that couldn’t be excused with those words.
Whether he took medication or went into a heat cycle, the fact that Eun-soo ‘wasn’t in his right mind’ and rubbed his body against another man wasn’t particularly convincing.
The driver of the dump truck who hit him and Eun-soo had also been ‘not in his right mind’ because he was drunk; many other criminals could say the same thing quite easily.
Do-kwon was disappointed.
He had been puzzled when he found Eun-soo’s shoes at the entrance, felt disgusted by the trash can that showed signs of being touched, and was surprised to see him sleeping in his bed. And he had been expectant.
What would this small Omega, this shameless Omega, be doing here? What on earth did he intend to do with him to come all this way and act like this?
But for the result of that expectation to be a mere ‘not in my right mind’ because of medication. Was that even true to begin with? Now that he was responding firmly, wasn’t Eun-soo just rambling more pathetic lies? Was he trying to switch roles from accomplice to victim? Or perhaps he was an Omega who originally enjoyed hedonistic sex while taking drugs.
Right. There was no way he had actually taken medication. If he had been forced to take it, if that Alpha had been a stranger who approached Eun-soo with impure intentions, Eun-soo shouldn’t have been chatting and laughing with a strange Alpha in the hallway of the hospital where he was admitted a few days ago, in full view of everyone.
Do-kwon, who had visited the hospital upon learning of Eun-soo’s admission, had seen him flirting with an Alpha at the end of the hallway. He had been worried because he heard he was sick. But the sight of him laughing with his mouth open and eyes curving was simply pure.
How vulgar.
To Do-kwon, Eun-soo was no longer his former lover. He was an Omega who had mocked, scorned, and deceived him. No matter what cunning words this Omega produced, Do-kwon would never be fooled.
Do-kwon looked at Eun-soo with a bored face. Then, becoming anxious, Eun-soo hurriedly made excuses.
“If I had known it wasn’t you, I wouldn’t have done it. It’s not like I’ve only experienced a heat cycle once or twice; no matter how much I lost my mind, I’ve never done something like that.”
“…….”
“As soon as we entered the room, I realized that man wasn’t you. So….”
“Sigh… I don’t know why I have to listen to this.”
Cutting Eun-soo off, Do-kwon stood up. He intended to leave the bedroom immediately. He had mentioned pheromone shock; the more excited Eun-soo became, the stronger the pheromones he emitted, which was triggering a headache.
At that, Eun-soo sprang from the bed. He then gripped Do-kwon’s wrist tightly with both hands.
“Nothing happened! I said nothing happened! I begged that bad man. I begged him please not to do it. That I was pregnant. That there was a baby in my stomach.”
“…….”
“I crawled on the floor begging like that! Do you know how I felt hiding under the table!”
With bloodshot eyes, Eun-soo screamed loud enough to make the air vibrate. Panting heavily, he suddenly began to shed tears. Large teardrops fell rapidly. A few landed on the back of Do-kwon’s hand.
“……It’s true. Sob… really, nothing happened.”
“…….”
“If something had happened, I wouldn’t be able to stand before you so confidently….”
“And?”
With the hand that wasn’t being held, Do-kwon roughly pried Eun-soo’s hand away. Then, as if throwing away dirty trash, he flung Eun-soo’s hand aside. He then thrust his cold face close.
“Do you think I’ll believe that?”
“What?”
“Let’s say, as you claim, nothing happened. Even if that’s the case, what changes?”
“Of course it chan—.”
“Whether it was medication or a heat cycle. It’s true that you, in heat, rubbed your body against another Alpha bastard. I saw that with my own eyes.”
“…….”
Eun-soo shut his mouth tight. He had nothing to say because it wasn’t a lie. But he really hadn’t intended to do that. If it hadn’t been for Do-kwon’s pheromones, he wouldn’t have blinked an eye regardless of what pheromones the person in front of him emitted.
How could he explain this…. While Eun-soo’s eyes moved busily as he agonized, Do-kwon turned around and murmured.
“The same thing could easily happen again in the future.”
“No! It will never happen again.”
Quickly blocking Do-kwon’s path, Eun-soo spoke firmly. At that, Do-kwon let out a smirk. Then, he looked down at Eun-soo with his characteristic black eyes.
“How can you be so sure? You already did it.”
“But….”
“If I emitted pheromones right here, right now, you’d be drooling and rubbing your face against my cock.”
It was utterly vulgar language. However, Eun-soo was not flustered. Their relationship wasn’t so superficial that he would be bothered by such a conversation. Eun-soo nodded.
“I probably would. Because it’s you.”
“…….”
“Whether I drool, take off my clothes, or do something even worse in front of you, what’s the problem? That’s a completely different situation. To me, whether the person in front of me is Do-kwon or not—that’s all that matters.”
It was a desperate confession. It was blindly foolish and strikingly direct.
“…….”
For several seconds, Do-kwon stared at Eun-soo without saying a word. Then, he muttered as if talking to himself.
“Then why did you do it?”
“What?”
“You intended to hide it.”
“……What?”
Eun-soo’s jaw dropped. He intended to hide it? Had he? Confusion clouded Eun-soo’s eyes. At that sight, Do-kwon laughed, his Adam’s apple moving as if he found it absurd.
“When I visited your house. Do you remember the first thing you said?”
“…….”
“It was, ‘Is something wrong?’”
“…….”
Eun-soo’s face turned pale in an instant. It was a memory he had completely forgotten. Right. Do-kwon had already known everything back then. How pathetic must he have looked, smiling awkwardly and struggling to hide it.
The focus in Eun-soo’s eyes scattered. Do-kwon continued speaking, staring intently at Eun-soo’s darkening complexion.
“You probably said that because you didn’t think I’d seen that scene at the hotel. Or perhaps you suspected it but thought it might not be the case, so you figured you’d hide it as long as you could.”
“Do… Do-kwon….”
“Then how can you say you’re being confident with your own mouth?”
Eun-soo’s head dropped. The tears that had been falling quickly now flowed without stopping.
Do-kwon let out a long sigh and roughly swept back his bangs. It had been a busy day. The meetings that had continued since early afternoon lasted twice as long as expected, and the buyers were excessively detailed and picky.
In truth, it wasn’t much different from the work he usually handled, but Eun-soo kept lingering in a corner of his mind. The image of Eun-soo facing another Alpha and smiling at the hospital flickered before his eyes like an afterimage. He wondered if that Alpha was the same one he saw at the hotel, and anger flared at the thought that Eun-soo might have been rubbing against him and mocking his stupidity. He simply couldn’t concentrate on work.
That was why he spent three hours on a task he would normally have finished in one.
Do-kwon found himself utterly unpleasant. He wanted to stop now. He absolutely hated being swayed by an Omega.
“It’s better to settle this now. What if you do it again after giving birth to the child? Will you be ashamed then, since the child is watching?”
“…….”
“No. Even then, you’ll make excuses just like now, saying, ‘No, nothing happened.’ That you weren’t in your right mind because of a heat cycle, that someone did something bad to you. If I hadn’t seen it myself, you’d probably keep your mouth shut as if it never happened in the first place.”
Eun-soo’s breath came in ragged gasps. Do-kwon’s words were so painful that he wanted to cover his ears. He wouldn’t do it again. He wouldn’t. But hearing Do-kwon speak like that made him feel like truly irredeemable trash.
Watching Eun-soo crumble and shatter, Do-kwon delivered the final sentence to the crown of Eun-soo’s head in a flat voice.
“You’re just that kind of Omega.”
With those words, Eun-soo left Do-kwon’s house as if fleeing.
His heart was beating too fast.
No, it wasn’t beating at all.
* * *
“……The pheromone levels aren’t dropping.”
The obstetrician, looking at Eun-soo’s pheromone graph, clicked his tongue. He had been worried because they hadn’t appeared for over a week. Sure enough, Eun-soo’s condition was a mess.
If he had taken his medication regularly, shared pheromones through moderate skinship with an Alpha, and rested his body sufficiently, this result should not have occurred.
The doctor tapped the back of his pen on the desk. Eun-soo, with a pale complexion, asked with chapped lips.
“Is it that bad? Why…. I was even hospitalized….”
“What did you say?”
The doctor’s eyes widened at the unexpected comment. His eyes gleamed sharply behind his rimless glasses. Eun-soo spoke indifferently, scratching the inside of his wrist with his fingernails.
“I was hospitalized for four days last week. Because I felt very unwell. I received painkillers and liquid suppressants alternately, but are the levels still that bad?”
“…….”
The doctor was momentarily speechless. He had been hospitalized. Then why did the graph look like this? Unless the suppressants administered were fake, the graph should have been much smoother. The fact that it was barely different from before meant one of three things: Eun-soo had slept with an Alpha in the meantime, he had used drugs, or he had been given a heat inducer.
“……Did something happen?”
The doctor asked in a low, sunken voice. With a gaunt face, Eun-soo stared blankly at the doctor. A heavy silence settled over the small examination room.
Scratching his wrist vigorously with his index and middle fingernails, Eun-soo slowly opened his mouth.
“I slept with… an Alpha. All day.”
“Mr. Pregnant Omega. I clearly told you to avoid sexual intercourse….”
“I couldn’t help it. I’m an Omega. At first, I said no… but my body wouldn’t follow.”
Eun-soo spoke in a desolate, dry voice. I couldn’t help it. There was no phrase as convenient yet uncomfortable as that. Lately, there were so many things he couldn’t help that his life no longer felt like his own.
Eun-soo rubbed his face with his palms. His eyes were bloodshot, the area under them was dark, and his lips were all chapped; at a glance, it was the face of someone who had suffered immense emotional distress.
Instead of adding anything, the doctor let out a faint sigh. In running an OB-GYN clinic, she had seen all sorts of patients and guardians, but a case like Eun-soo’s was a first.
She pushed her chair back and stood up.
“First, let’s do an ultrasound. I need to check the status of the fetus.”
Thump, thump, thump.
Bomi’s heartbeat echoed through the ultrasound room. The moment Eun-soo heard that sound, his nose tingled, and he had to struggle to swallow his tears. When he first heard Bomi’s heartbeat, he had cried tears of emotion and joy. Now, his heart ached too much.
Because Bomi’s heartbeat… had become small enough to notice instantly. The size was certainly larger, but the sound of the heart was incredibly frail.
Without a word, the doctor adjusted the speaker to increase the volume. However, Eun-soo was already sinking into sadness and apology. Seeing this, the doctor intentionally stared intently at the monitor and spoke in a gentle voice.
“They are growing well. The size is a bit small, but it’s still within the normal range. The fingers and toes are long, and the nose is sharp.”
“…….”
“You should be feeling the fetal movements occasionally.”
At those words, Eun-soo blinked rapidly. Fetal movement. It was a term he knew, yet it felt very foreign. Right. He thought he had read in a book about childbirth that fetal movements should be felt around this time.
But he had never felt them once. Eun-soo looked down at his gently swollen belly. He should have clearly perceived that Bomi was alive by now.
Was there something wrong with Bomi? Or were they so weak that moving was a struggle?
Eun-soo’s complexion turned deathly pale. The doctor quickly added.
“Fetal movements can be felt late. Since they’re just starting to move, the movements aren’t that large. Many pregnant people don’t feel them, and many mistake them for abdominal pain.”
“…….”
Eun-soo nodded slowly. It was likely just common consolation, but because it came from the doctor, his heart strangely felt at ease. However, that wasn’t all.
Swallowing hard, the doctor spoke tentatively.
“But as you may know, the fetus is very… weak. The womb-sac was originally healthy, but it has deteriorated. It seems to be because of the pheromone shock, so you must be careful.”
It was like a bolt from the blue. He had known, and he had even heard it from the hospital where he was admitted, but he simply couldn’t get used to it. Eun-soo rubbed his eyelids vigorously with the side of his hand.
Careful. How was he supposed to be careful?
Other doctors had said the same. That he had to take good care of his body. But Eun-soo was doing his absolute best. Since the morning sickness ended, he had eaten his meals regularly, and although he couldn’t sleep well, he still lay in bed early to pretend to sleep. He took his supplements without fail.
What more was he supposed to do? He was doing everything he could.
His head throbbed. As Eun-soo let out a long sigh through his nose, the doctor wiped the ultrasound gel off Eun-soo’s belly with a towel and spoke.
“You must compose your heart. From now on, the fetus feels your emotions exactly as they are. Sadness, happiness—they feel it all.”
“My emotions… emotions…?”
Eun-soo’s lips parted slightly. Feeling emotions. And feeling them in sync with his own. He hadn’t thought of that.
He couldn’t. They shouldn’t feel that.
Thinking that Bomi felt the despair he felt when he fled Do-kwon’s house yesterday, thinking that Bomi felt the sadness when he sat slumped in the entryway and wailed, thinking that Bomi felt the loneliness and emptiness of being alone in the world again—he couldn’t feel more guilty.
His ribs seemed to shrink inward, crushing his lungs. His heart flattened, and his internal organs tangled violently. But it didn’t hurt. The fear was greater.
What was Bomi thinking? While fully accepting and feeling those emotions, what thoughts did they have? Perhaps they hadn’t even been able to stretch once because they were walking on eggshells around him. Was that why he hadn’t felt the fetal movements?
Eun-soo’s pupils shrank to pinpricks. His shoulders trembled with chills.
Then, the doctor added as she organized the test results.
“So, you must not be too sad or depressed.”
“…….”
“It sounds quite coercive, but since it’s best for the child, as a doctor, I have no choice but to put it this way.”
“…….”
“Get plenty of sleep, absolutely do not skip meals, and as for the suppressants… you have to take them, but do not take a large amount at once.”
It was something he had heard countless times. Enough to memorize it by heart. Yet, far from answering that he understood, Eun-soo couldn’t even nod. He just stared at his exposed belly with unfocused eyes.
One of his team members had a habit of saying, ‘I kind of want to die.’ Whenever he heard that playful voice, he used to giggle.
Now, Eun-soo felt that way.
He kind of wanted to die.
* * *
“Haa… haa….”
Eun-soo had another dream of his parents burning to death. He didn’t know how many days in a row he had been having it. Because of this, he couldn’t sleep deeply at all. Moreover, after waking from the dream, his parents’ screams wouldn’t leave his ears for a while, forcing him to keep that depression embraced in his arms.
He had to sleep well. He mustn’t be depressed.
It became an obsession. He was terrified that Bomi would suffer like him, and he felt utterly powerless for continuing to repeat this cycle of life.
For tens of minutes, Eun-soo had to endure the nightmare, the guilt, and the pain caused by the pheromone shock while curled up in a ball.
However, even after a considerable amount of time had passed, nothing faded. Finally unable to bear it, Eun-soo burst into tears.
“Huu….”
He wanted to do well, he wanted to raise Bomi well, but he felt resentful that this damn body, the world, and Do-kwon wouldn’t help him.
He missed Do-kwon. If it were the previous him, the Do-kwon from before the memory loss, he wouldn’t have left him alone like this; that lingering regret continued to make Eun-soo sick.
He would have held him all night and patted him. If he had a nightmare, Do-kwon would have scowled and cursed the dream, even though it wasn’t his own. He was a man who would have hugged and comforted him frequently until the pheromone shock subsided. Then the illness would have healed quickly.
If only the car accident hadn’t happened. If only that dump truck driver hadn’t been drunk. No, if only the vehicle he was driving hadn’t been a dump truck. If only it hadn’t crushed their car of all things.
It was futile resentment. Endless resentment. It was a resentment he had felt hundreds of times since the accident.
Eun-soo cried miserably. He hadn’t originally been someone who cried much. Since the pregnancy, it felt like he had cried more than he had in the last few years combined.
In the past, crying his heart out made him feel much better. But lately, it wasn’t like that. It felt as if tears were piling up in his solar plexus. So, as he cried, his breathing became labored, his body grew cold, and he would break into a cold sweat. It was the same now.
He didn’t know the cause—whether it was just him, the pheromone shock, or because he was pregnant.
Gasping for air, Eun-soo finally got out of bed. He stumbled toward the kitchen. It was to take his suppressants.
Slumping into a dining chair, Eun-soo swallowed the suppressants without water. The pungent, bitter taste of the medicine was quite strong, but since he had lived with it his whole life, he could swallow it without even frowning.
Eun-soo lay face down on the table, waiting for the medicine to take effect. The cold surface seemed to cool his cheeks, which had been burning with heat. He scratched his wrist vigorously with his fingernails. It had become a habit over the past few days.
After wasting a precious part of the night like that, he entered the bedroom.
However, Eun-soo could not lie on the bed.
The bed looked like a swamp. It felt like a sewer emitting a foul smell. Regardless, he felt that if he lay down, he wouldn’t be able to get up again.
Eun-soo’s shoulders slumped. Would he be able to sleep? Even if he did, he would just dream of his parents again. Wouldn’t it be better to greet the morning with wide-open eyes than to sleep?
Eun-soo slid down the wall and sat on the floor.
He missed his parents. But he didn’t want to repeat that terrible nightmare. With blurred eyes, Eun-soo looked at the nightstand next to the bed. A palm-sized family photo stood there. Eun-soo crawled on his knees toward it. Then he turned on the lamp.
The photo, which had been submerged in darkness, was revealed, and the faces in the photo smiled brightly at Eun-soo. As if they were glad to see him.
“…….”
Holding the frame, Eun-soo smiled faintly. Even though he saw it every day, once he started looking, he had to sit there for a full hour.
“Mom… Dad….”
Eun-soo pressed his thumb against the frame. A cloudy fingerprint remained. He quickly rubbed it off with his sleeve.
It would have been nice if they were alive. They would have congratulated him on the pregnancy and taken care of his body more than Myeong-hui or Ki-ho, and perhaps even more than Do-kwon.
He wouldn’t have had to go to the hospital alone, he wouldn’t have had nightmares at night, and he wouldn’t have had to swallow pain and fear alone like this.
And… even if his relationship with Do-kwon ended, it wouldn’t have been as painful or bleak as it was now. Because he would have his mom and dad. Because he could raise Bomi wonderfully even if he gave birth alone.
That is what it means not to be alone, to have a family. To be able to endure even if you lose one or two precious things.
His parents were kind, overflowing with love, and they had no hesitation in expressing it. Thanks to that, Eun-soo was not familiar with words like hunger, poverty, loneliness, or deprivation. He lived completely removed from the discrimination that Omegas were naturally expected to experience.
From a very young age, Eun-soo knew well that he was born into a good home—a home that was not only harmonious but affluent. That’s why it was more precious, and why he loved it more. He thought it was the happiness heaven had granted him.
And much later, when God took his parents away, it was truly difficult. Just recalling it for a moment made him feel nauseous.
He lived because he couldn’t die. Literally. He had tried to die several times, but whether he was weak or instinctively tried to avoid death, he kept surviving.
Living like that, he eventually found a way to exist. He realized what people meant when they said time is the best medicine. So he pulled himself together, got a job, and lived quite well as a normal member of society. Then he met Do-kwon.
From then on, Eun-soo’s life was a flower garden again. Having someone completely on your side provides a sense of stability that cannot be expressed with mere words.
Eun-soo really liked Do-kwon.
Not because of his looks or wealth, but because he was a living person. Because he was a person with a warm embrace. Because he was a person who loved him.
But that Do-kwon had left his side. That is why he was collapsing like this. Because he had to be alone again. His current feeling was very similar to how he felt when his parents passed away.
Tears falling silently, Eun-soo put down the frame and grabbed his phone.
He wanted to call anyone. He wanted to call and scream for someone to save him.
The first number his hand went to was, naturally, Do-kwon’s. However, he couldn’t bring himself to press the call button. Because he knew that even if he called, he wouldn’t answer. If the ringing continued and then cut off to a recorded guidance message, he felt he would lose his mind. He didn’t know what he might do then.
Eun-soo bit his thumb nail hard.
“Ugh….”
I want to call. I want to call. I want to call. I really, really want to call.
He wanted to hear Do-kwon’s voice. He wanted to make it obvious that he was in this much pain and struggling because of him. He wanted him to know. He wanted him to pity him. He wanted him to pity him, then sympathize, take an interest, worry, and then return to him.
Eun-soo gripped the phone as if to crush it. His slender fingers turned white.
But in the end, Eun-soo could not press the call button. The moment he tried to,
‘You’re just that kind of Omega.’
Do-kwon’s voice saying those words pierced through his brow. Tears streamed down Eun-soo’s face.
“Bomi, I’m sorry. Daddy’s sorry. Huu… sorry for crying. Sorry for being sad.”
I’m sorry, Bomi. I’m really sorry….
Eun-soo murmured incessantly. Even as he did, he felt pathetic for not being able to stop the tears, but there was no other way.
The night was agonizing.
He was terrified that it would continue to be agonizing.
* * *
Eun-soo decided to meet Seong-heon this evening. Actually, he had intended to go straight home after work. He didn’t want to meet anyone, and he didn’t have the energy to converse with others or smile while facing them.
So he was about to tentatively decline, but because Seong-heon said he had found the whereabouts of the man he met at the hotel, he ended up replying that he would go.
Even if he found the man, what could he possibly do, but he still desperately wanted to know his face and name.
Lately, there were too many things Eun-soo was afraid of. He was afraid of the cars passing by with a whooshing sound, afraid of the young men filling the subways and the streets, afraid that Bomi was sick, afraid of the nightmares, afraid of what would happen if the pheromone shock didn’t heal, and afraid that Do-kwon might never return.
All of it was so overwhelming and heavy. He wanted to get rid of even one of them. Then he felt he might be able to breathe a little. So today, he hoped Seong-heon could lighten that burden.
And finally, the time to leave work arrived.
Eun-soo let his team members leave first and got up from his seat a bit later. This was because Seong-heon had pushed the appointment back by about 30 minutes, saying his meeting had run long.
Eun-soo tidied up his desk leisurely. He washed and dried his tumbler, aligned his mouse and keyboard, and dumped the chocolate and cookie wrappers he had forgotten throughout the day into the trash can. Only then did he stand in front of the elevator.
After pressing the button, Eun-soo lit up his phone and sent a message to Seong-heon.
[I’m leaving now. I’ll wait in the lobby.]
After pressing the send button, he watched the elevator numbers decrease. Just then, the phone in his hand vibrated again. It was a reply from Seong-heon. Eun-soo expected a plain reply like [Yes, okay] or [See you soon]. But,
[Nooo Eun-soo-ssi come out in five minuuttes]
…a message in some alien language had arrived. Eun-soo tilted his head. A message full of typos was unlike Seong-heon. He had always sent messages with perfect spelling and spacing. It seemed something urgent had happened.
Just as Eun-soo was about to reply ‘Yes’, the elevator opened with a ding. Eun-soo reflexively looked ahead. And then, he gasped, holding his breath. Seong-heon was in the elevator.
“…….”
“…….”
“…….”
Together with Do-kwon.
Without any time to prepare, Eun-soo’s eyes locked exactly with Do-kwon’s.
Dressed in a perfectly tailored suit, Do-kwon had one hand slanted in his pocket. In his cold black eyes, there was a hint of bewilderment and a great deal of displeasure, and his lips were firmly set.
And his pheromones shot out as if to attack Eun-soo. It was likely leaking out naturally, but Eun-soo felt it as a threat. So, without realizing it, he took a step back.
The space-time between the two collided violently. Eun-soo felt as if his body were burning under the gaze that met Do-kwon’s.
“Eun-soo-ssi…….”
Seong-heon frowned, looking dismayed. This was exactly why he had given Eun-soo a five-minute buffer—fearing this kind of atmosphere. Yet, of all things, they had run straight into each other.
“Executive… Director.”
Eun-soo stared at Seong-heon with blurred eyes. At that sight, Do-kwon’s lips twisted into a smirk. He looked back and forth between Eun-soo and Seong-heon.
“It looks like you two have plans.”
“Huh? Oh, yeah… We were going to have dinner together.”
Seong-heon smiled, his eyes curving. Do-kwon looked at Eun-soo again. Dinner? he murmured in a low voice. It was as if he were confirming with Eun-soo if it were true.
Eun-soo clenched his fists tight and then released them. He didn’t know why his chest felt so tight and trembling when he hadn’t even done anything wrong. He and Seong-heon were friends, and that was a fact Do-kwon knew. What was wrong with having dinner with a friend? What of it?
Swallowing hard, Eun-soo took a step back.
“I’ll… I’ll take the next elevator. Please, go on down first, Executive Director.”
Seong-heon gave a light wave of his hand, saying they’d see each other in a bit. Then, he repeatedly pressed the close button. The elevator doors began to shut.
Eun-soo deliberately cast his gaze downward. Even so, he could feel Do-kwon’s gaze boring into him.
His heart beat excessively fast. Yet, his face turned pale as a corpse, as if all the blood had drained out. His knees shook.
And the moment the doors finally closed, Eun-soo turned around immediately and ran toward the emergency exit.
“Huu…”
Collapsing haphazardly onto the stairs, Eun-soo let out a faint moan. He closed his eyes and tried to compose his trembling body. He scratched his wrists through his shirt sleeves, then repeatedly thumped and rubbed his chest as if it were being constricted.
Despite this, the depression enveloping him like a thick mucus would not let go. Instead, it tightened around his body more tenaciously and strongly. Eventually, he felt suffocated.
Do-kwon’s gaze and expression would not leave his mind. Even when he looked at a dusty corner, or the stairs above drawing a diagonal line, or the steel railing that distorted his own reflection, Do-kwon’s eyes refused to vanish from his sight.
As Eun-soo bit his lower lip, bracing himself against the dark waves of emotion, he heard a vibration. Bright light leaked from the phone he had dropped on the floor.
It was Seong-heon. Eun-soo quickly picked up the phone. Then, taking short, choppy breaths, he prepared to speak.
-Hello? Eun-soo. Come down now. I’m in the lobby…
“Ah… Executive Director. I don’t think I can today.”
-…
“Suddenly, my body, huu… I’m not feeling well. If it’s okay… could we meet tomorrow instead?”
His voice trembled, but it was a fairly decent performance. At least, that’s what Eun-soo thought. However, the perceptive Seong-heon did not let him off so easily.
-Eun-soo, where are you?
“I’m… I’m going home.”
-…Your voice is echoing. You’re in the emergency exit.
Wait there. I’ll be there in a second. Before Eun-soo could even refuse, Seong-heon hung up the phone. Eun-soo stared blankly at the screen. He felt embarrassed that his lie had been seen through instantly, but at the same time, he felt relieved.
Ah… he realized he wouldn’t have to soak in this swamp-like depression alone for the next few hours. That was the relief he felt.
Seong-heon kept his word about coming quickly. In less than three minutes, the emergency exit door clattered open, and he stepped inside. Eun-soo looked at him with reddened eyes.
“Executive Director…”
“Eun-soo.”
Seeing Eun-soo curled up even more than usual in his already thin frame, Seong-heon let out a rough sigh. They had only crossed paths with Do-kwon for a fleeting moment; what on earth had happened to make Eun-soo hide in the dark like this? It was incredibly frustrating to watch.
Nevertheless, Seong-heon managed to sit down beside Eun-soo without a word. He took off his jacket and draped it over Eun-soo’s shoulders.
“What are you doing, sitting in a cold place like this while pregnant?”
“Ah… you’re right… I’m sorry.”
Eun-soo spoke in a hollow voice. It was unclear who he was apologizing to or for what. Seong-heon sighed again and loosened the tie that was pressing against his Adam’s apple.
“Is this because of Seo Do-kwon?”
“…Unless it’s Do-kwon, is there any other reason for me to be this emotional?”
Eun-soo wore a self-deprecating smile. Since meeting Do-kwon, his life had revolved around him to the point where he wondered if this was healthy. The fruit of that relationship was Bom.
But now that Do-kwon had vanished from his side, he didn’t know what to do. He had been like this for days, yet he couldn’t reach a conclusion. Perhaps he wouldn’t be able to reach one for years to come. Or perhaps it wasn’t that he couldn’t, but that he chose not to.
However, today Eun-soo felt reality very clearly and sharply. Cruelly clear.
The moment the elevator doors opened and he faced Do-kwon, Eun-soo realized. The relationship between them was already over. He could feel it unmistakably in Do-kwon’s expression, which held no emotion, and in his gaze, which seemed utterly fed up.
He was the only one who thought it wasn’t over. The only reason it had lasted this long was that he had been desperately clinging to it. They had become, as so many song lyrics describe, worse than strangers.
Why had I shed tears until now? Why couldn’t I let go of the hope that you would return? He felt wretched and pathetic. Yet, the reason he was still sad and miserable was that he knew he was the kind of person who couldn’t stop this pathetic behavior.
After organizing his thoughts for a moment, Eun-soo belatedly apologized to Seong-heon.
“I’m sorry, Executive Director. Dinner tonight was ruined because of me.”
“It’s okay. It was a last-minute invitation anyway.”
“…You’re always so kind.”
Eun-soo smiled faintly. Seong-heon smiled back. Feeling a bit more at ease, Eun-soo tentatively spoke up.
“Then… could I find out about that man you said you were looking for?”
“Ah, yes.”
Seong-heon raised an eyebrow as if he had just remembered. He cleared his throat and turned slightly toward Eun-soo.
“That man has been incarcerated in prison.”
“…What?”
Eun-soo’s eyes and mouth widened. What, where is he? Prison? It was completely unexpected. Eun-soo covered his mouth with his hand and stared intently at Seong-heon. Really? Truly? His eyes asked the question. Seong-heon nodded and continued.
“It seems it wasn’t just you. He’s a habitual offender. He was a waiter at the place where we had dinner that day. He carried low-grade drugs and would spike the water when an Omega came in as a customer.”
“Drugs…”
“Yes. He was indicted on eight counts of sexual assault and harassment, and because there was overwhelming evidence, the verdict was reached quickly. That’s why he was hard to find. I never imagined he’d be in a place like that.”
“Ah…”
Eun-soo let out a small gasp. It was a relief. It was a good thing. It meant he would never have to see that man again anywhere. It meant that among the countless men he encountered on the street, that man would not be one of them.
But why did he feel… so damp? He felt as if he were surrounded by cement walls soaked in humidity after a rain.
Eun-soo touched his wrist with a blank expression. Watching him, Seong-heon spoke cautiously.
“If you want, we can reveal what happened and seek aggravated punishment. But you… would have to appear as a witness many times…”
“No, no. It’s okay. He’s already in prison, and you said there were eight counts. That should be enough.”
Eun-soo shook his head quickly. He had no desire to face that man. The reason he wanted to know the man’s whereabouts was precisely because he never wanted to encounter him again. So that he could avoid him even if they met by chance. Prison was unexpected, but it was a satisfactory conclusion.
“…”
“…”
A brief silence fell. Seong-heon waited patiently while Eun-soo organized his thoughts and emotions. After a long silence, Eun-soo started with, “That…”
“About that man.”
“Yes.”
“What if… what if I told Do-kwon about him?”
“…What?”
Seong-heon asked back as if he had misheard. A faint trace of irritation and disgust flickered across his face, but Eun-soo tried to ignore it.
“If he knows what charges that man was imprisoned for, he’ll know how bad he is… that he approached me with malicious intent… maybe we could recover our relationship…?”
“Sigh… Eun-soo.”
“I’ll beg for forgiveness for mistaking that man for Do-kwon…”
“What did you do wrong? What happened to you was just an accident. Like a car accident, it was an accident.”
Seong-heon spoke to Eun-soo with a grim expression, as if arguing. His words seemed to comfort Eun-soo, but his agitated tone sounded almost like an accusation.
Eun-soo rubbed his face vigorously with both hands. The rough skin against his palms didn’t feel like his own. He mumbled with his face buried in his palms. His already damp voice came out completely crushed.
“I know. But I don’t think Do-kwon sees it that way… If begging for forgiveness would work, I’d rather be the one who did something wrong.”
At those foolish, pathetic, and dull words, Seong-heon clenched his fist tightly. He wanted to grab Eun-soo’s arms and shake him violently, screaming at him to wake up.
“Why do you have to go that far? Seo Do-kwon has already abandoned you. He has no intention of forgiving you. Why be so foolish…”
“You’re right. I am foolish. But I can’t give up, so what am I supposed to do!”
Lifting his face, Eun-soo shouted. The sharp cry echoed through the empty emergency exit. Realizing what he had done, Eun-soo cast his bloodshot eyes downward. He wondered why he was acting out like this toward the only person helping him right now.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, Executive Director…”
“…”
“I’m really sorry…”
Eun-soo fumbled and grasped the back of Seong-heon’s hand. He was terrified that Seong-heon might turn his back and leave. He hated being alone. He truly, horribly hated it.
After staring at Eun-soo for a moment, Seong-heon gave a small smile as if it were okay. Eun-soo let out a sigh of relief. Then, he whispered softly.
“In my life, there’s only Do-kwon and Bomi.”
“…”
“You might think that even if Do-kwon is gone, Bomi is still here… but Bomi, Bomi keeps getting sick. Because Do-kwon is gone and I’m hurting, because I’m sad, Bomi is the same.”
Eun-soo stroked his stomach. He felt so sorry for Bomi, who hadn’t even been able to stretch once. He felt guilty that he would likely keep making Bomi sick and make them feel his tears.
Looking at Eun-soo’s melancholy face, Seong-heon swept his bangs back with his palm and spoke like a sigh.
“I’m sorry, Eun-soo.”
“Huh?”
“I didn’t know you were pregnant. If I had, I wouldn’t have acted that way.”
“…What?”
Eun-soo tilted his head. He couldn’t understand Seong-heon’s words. Sorry? Why? Why was not knowing he was pregnant something to apologize for? Eun-soo stared intently at Seong-heon.
Then, Seong-heon suddenly cleared his throat.
“…I mean, back then. When we met after a long time. I didn’t know then. If I had known, I would have treated you better.”
“Ah… Do-kwon and the Chairman asked me to keep it hidden for a while… so that’s how it happened.”
“Are you still going to the OB-GYN?”
“Yes. I’m going regularly. I have to keep taking suppressants because of the pheromone shock. I have to go to the OB-GYN to get suppressants for pregnant Omegas.”
“If… if it’s okay… would you like me to go with you next time?”
Seong-heon spoke hesitantly. His gaze couldn’t meet Eun-soo’s and instead wandered through the empty air.
“…You, Executive Director?”
Eun-soo blinked. His first thought, of course, was ‘Why?’ He wondered what the man would do going with him, but he didn’t say it out loud. He just looked at him with an ambiguous expression.
Seong-heon scratched the side of his neck and laughed awkwardly.
“No, I looked it up… and they say it’s sad to go to the OB-GYN alone. So… I thought maybe it would be okay if I went with you.”
He looked exactly like a shy boy. He hadn’t expected to feel this way about a man older than himself, but right now, Seong-heon really seemed like a boy.
“…Thank you, Executive Director.”
Eun-soo’s lips curled into a smile. His eyes curved, and his cheekbones rose. It was the first time in a long while that he had seen Eun-soo’s smiling face. A beautiful smile that sparkled even in the darkness.
Seong-heon stared blankly at that smile. Then, he snapped out of it a few beats later. Then we’ll go to the OB-GYN together… Just as he was about to say that, Eun-soo spoke first.
“But receiving any more help would be too shameless of me. Just making you sit in the company emergency exit is already an act of audacity.”
“It’s fine. As long as I’m with you, anywhere is new and interesting.”
“It must be new for you. You’ve worked at this company for over ten years, but this is probably your first time sitting here.”
“That’s true. It is the first time. My butt is quite cold.”
Seong-heon shifted his hips from side to side. At his clumsy behavior, Eun-soo let out a burst of laughter before quickly biting his lip.
Seong-heon looked at Eun-soo with wide eyes. Then, the two of them burst into laughter simultaneously. The laughter hit the emergency exit walls and returned fourfold. For a brief moment, light filled the dark stairwell.
After laughing for a while, Eun-soo wiped the tears from the corners of his eyes with the back of his hand.
“Executive Director, is it going well for you?”
“Huh? What is?”
“You said there was someone you liked.”
“Ah… that?”
Seong-heon narrowed his eyes and looked down the stairs. After thinking for a moment, he smiled at Eun-soo.
“Well… I think it’s not bad. I’m working hard at it. And it looks like things will end soon with the Alpha I was seeing.”
“Oh my god, really? Well, you are handsome, Executive Director. And you have a great personality.”
Interest bubbled up in Eun-soo’s eyes. Other people’s love lives were always fun to hear about. As Eun-soo opened his mouth again,
“Back then, you said they were someone you knew…”
“Do you want to go eat dinner?”
Seong-heon quickly cut him off. Surprised, Eun-soo raised an eyebrow. Then, he soon nodded.
“Uh… yes. Let’s go eat. Since I was sorry today, and since I’ve relied on you so much, dinner is on me.”
“Great. I’m going to eat a lot, so be prepared.”
Seong-heon clenched his fist. Eun-soo chuckled softly. The two of them stood up at the same time. Seong-heon opened the emergency exit door and tilted his head toward Eun-soo, signaling him to go out first.
Eun-soo stepped out of the emergency exit. Unlike when he entered, he felt much better.
* * *
After dinner, Eun-soo went straight home. Seong-heon wanted to ask, ‘Shall I walk you home?’ but he refrained, thinking it would be too greedy. He simply told him to get home safely and to send a message when he arrived, then watched Eun-soo’s retreating figure disappear into the subway station for a long time.
After that, he returned to the office. Since he handled overseas affairs, he had more work to do at night than during the day.
Just as Seong-heon was about to enter the Executive Director’s office, his secretary hurried over to deliver a message.
“Executive Director. Director Seo is waiting inside.”
“…Seo Do-kwon?”
Seong-heon’s eyes widened. Then they quickly returned to normal. He had thought it was unusual how the elevator doors closed and Do-kwon just stared straight ahead with such intensity. It seemed he had finally made his way here.
With a low groan in his throat, Seong-heon suddenly pulled off his tie and handed it to the secretary. The secretary took it and folded it neatly. Then, he loosened one of his shirt buttons. It was to show how relaxed he had been during his time with Eun-soo.
Licking his lower lip slightly, Seong-heon strode into the office. And the moment the door opened, he donned his mask of a smile.
“Director Seo. What brings you here?”
“…”
Do-kwon was sitting askew on the sofa with his legs crossed. To make matters worse, he was sitting in the seat of honor. Seong-heon’s lips twitched. However, he didn’t bother adding a word. Instead, he sat in the desk chair rather than on the sofa. Then, with a click of the mouse, he lit up the dark monitor.
“Hyung.”
Do-kwon called Seong-heon in a low voice. The seat of honor on the sofa and the desk did not face each other; they faced the same direction. Thus, Seong-heon could only see the back of Do-kwon’s head instead of his face, and Do-kwon could only see the large painting hanging on the wall. The painting of the Seoul nightscape, shimmering with fluorescent lights, made his vision feel noisy.
“Yeah.”
Seong-heon replied monotonically.
“Do you like Yoo Eun-soo?”
Do-kwon asked in his characteristic deep bass.
“…….”
This time, Seong-heon couldn’t offer any response. He was flustered by the overly blunt question. He was so startled that he even let the wireless mouse he was holding clatter to the floor.
“……What?”
“I’m just asking in case. It seemed like it. If not, then whatever.”
Do-kwon’s voice was indifferent. Even if they were discussing work, he wouldn’t have sounded so devoid of emotion. It would have been far more lively if he had asked what was for dinner.
Seong-heon stared intently at the back of Do-kwon’s head. Then, while picking up the fallen mouse, he replied with equal indifference.
“Yeah. I like Eun-soo.”
“…….”
This time, Do-kwon fell silent. The conversation flowed strangely. They were merely exchanging words, but it felt as if they were exchanging punches in a ring.
Before Do-kwon could open his mouth again, Seong-heon threw another punch without pause.
“It’s been a very long time. I think it’s been about four years.”
“…….”
“You happened to cross paths with Eun-soo and things ended up this way, but in reality, I started liking him long before you did.”
“…….”
“Both in terms of meeting him, and in terms of love.”
Seong-heon lifted his chin slightly and looked down at Do-kwon. It was a pathetic sense of competitiveness. But he wanted to beat Do-kwon in even one such trivial thing.
Do-kwon, who happened to be born as the Chairman’s son, was in a better position as a successor than he, who happened to be born as the Chairman’s cousin. Do-kwon, who happened to be born as an Alpha—and a Dominant Alpha at that—was superior in every way to him, who happened to be born as a mediocre Beta.
To catch up to him, he had to study twice as much, run twice as hard, and do twice as many good deeds—and bad ones, for that matter. Only then could he barely breathe while standing in a similar position.
“If I had been an Alpha, this would have been settled before you even knew Eun-soo.”
“……Settled?”
“Ah, ‘settled’ is a bit of a strange way to put it. I’ve been doing so many different ‘tasks’ lately that the phrasing just stuck. Anyway, if I were an Alpha, wouldn’t I have married Eun-soo and had children long ago? If they looked like Eun-soo, whether it was a boy or a girl, they would be truly beautiful.”
“Marriage and kids? You? With Yoo Eun-soo?”
Do-kwon let out a hollow laugh as he repeated Seong-heon’s words. Eun-soo by Seong-heon’s side. It was an overly alien and unpleasant image. Do-kwon’s hand gripped the armrest of the sofa tightly. Blue veins stood out on the back of his hand.
Watching Do-kwon’s back, Seong-heon wore a faint smile. It was a smile of victory. Every time he felt as though he had trampled Do-kwon and seized the upper hand, goosebumps broke out along his spine.
“Still, it’s a relief, right?”
“……What is?”
“You and Eun-soo are over now.”
“…….”
“Actually, I was incredibly surprised when I heard you and Eun-soo were seeing each other.”
“Is that something to be surprised about?”
“Of course. You hated Omegas. No, you loathed them. And then suddenly you became lovers with Eun-soo…… how could I not be surprised? I even wondered if you approached him because you knew I liked him and you hated me.”
“Ha…….”
“Still, I thought that if it were you, you might eventually give up on Eun-soo.”
“Give up?”
“Yeah. You’re a Dominant Alpha, you’re smart, and you’re the successor of Seong-jin. You weren’t someone I could compete with.”
It was a series of sentences that were true yet false. It was true that Do-kwon was superior to Seong-heon in every aspect, but Seong-heon hated acknowledging that with a passion that felt like death. He didn’t want to congratulate Eun-soo for loving Do-kwon or for becoming his lover. If anything, he wanted to curse them.
Part of the reason he had rushed off to the US branch was that he felt it would be better to bite his tongue and die than to watch that sight.
But, but…….
“But in the end, it turned out like this. It’s a bit awkward to say this, but it feels like the opportunity has come back to me, so I’m going to try and make it work.”
The corners of Seong-heon’s mouth curled up into a smirk.
Right now, he held the advantage. As long as Do-kwon continued to act like trash, Eun-soo would eventually give up on him, and Seong-heon intended to be the sole sanctuary by his side once he was completely alone.
“…….”
Do-kwon didn’t give any answer. He simply stared straight ahead with stubborn persistence. Seeing Do-kwon like that, Seong-heon couldn’t help but be intoxicated by the euphoria of victory.
“Do-kwon, did you come all the way here just to ask that?”
“Am I not allowed to?”
“No. I don’t mind, but surely you’re not going to get annoyed that I picked up what you threw away, right?”
How childish. We’re not kids. Seong-heon muttered in a voice laced with amusement. Dating someone who had broken up with a cousin wasn’t common, but it wasn’t wrong either.
The relationship between Do-kwon and Eun-soo was already a thing of the past. They hadn’t married, nor had they publicly announced their relationship. Furthermore, thankfully, hadn’t he personally helped hide the fact of Eun-soo’s pregnancy?
As the smile on Seong-heon’s lips deepened, Do-kwon slightly turned his head to the side. His straight forehead and high bridge of his nose entered Seong-heon’s field of vision.
“The one inside Yoo Eun-soo’s belly is my child. Are you okay with that?”
“Ah…… Bomi?”
Seong-heon asked back with utter nonchalance.
“…….”
Do-kwon’s eyebrows slanted sharply. The way he called the baby ‘Bomi’ couldn’t have sounded more intimate. Just as Do-kwon was about to warn him not to call the baby by that name since he was the one who named them—
“I heard you told him to get rid of it?”
“…….”
“Then it’s not your child anymore, is it?”
Seong-heon asked back in a voice full of disbelief, with an expression that seemed to ask why on earth Do-kwon was bringing up the child.
“Even if I told him to get rid of it, it’s my child, so how could it be…….”
“Since you threw Bomi away too, I’ll just pick them up.”
Do-kwon paused his breathing for a moment. Picking up what was thrown away. Hearing that twice in a row made him feel utterly foul. It was true that he had thrown away both Eun-soo and Bomi. Even though he no longer had any claim of ownership over them, it still felt wrong.
Do-kwon’s eyes sank coldly. A heavy pheromone began to seep out around him. Despite this, Seong-heon did not stop his busy mouth.
“So you don’t have to worry. Bomi will never know that you’re the biological father for the rest of their life.”
“……Did Yoo Eun-soo agree to this?”
“Yeah.”
Seong-heon affirmed without a shred of hesitation. Far from agreeing, Eun-soo had never had a single word of conversation regarding this. Moreover, Eun-soo didn’t even know what kind of feelings Seong-heon harbored.
This was a lie from beginning to end.
Do-kwon turning his back on Eun-soo, Eun-soo being in pain, and the current situation—all of it was a single play directed by Seong-heon. Do-kwon was merely a disposable supporting actor and villain, while the protagonists were Seong-heon and Eun-soo.
“…….”
Do-kwon grit his teeth. The bone above his temple bulged and then vanished.
“Do you even know how things ended between him and me?”
“Of course. Eun-soo doesn’t hide anything from me.”
At those words, the corner of Do-kwon’s mouth twitched in a spasm. Not ‘he doesn’t hide anything from me,’ but ‘he doesn’t hide anything from me.’ In other words, Seong-heon knew not only that Eun-soo had played around with another Alpha, but also that he had tried to hide it from Do-kwon.
Do-kwon took a deep breath. Pheromones kept leaking out. At this rate, he might actually suffocate Seong-heon to death.
Yet, he couldn’t contain his rage. Clearly, it was Seong-heon who was flapping his gums, but unfairly, he felt a sense of betrayal toward Eun-soo.
They must be absolutely head over heels for each other. After crying so sorrowfully and painfully in front of me, he’s already laughing and chatting with Seong-heon.
Do-kwon felt the pheromones surging within his body. Unless he wanted to see Seong-heon faint, he had to leave now. No, in truth, he wanted to escape quickly because he felt he might say something pathetic.
For instance, that he hadn’t completely thrown Eun-soo away yet, or that Bomi was still his child.
Shameless words kept tickling his lips.
Do-kwon stood up abruptly. To this, Seong-heon said with a relaxed smile,
“Leaving already? Stay for a cup of tea.”
“No. I have to work.”
“Right, then.”
Seong-heon didn’t bother trying to hold Do-kwon back again. Being with him was never comfortable. Do-kwon walked toward the door. Seong-heon’s gaze followed him. The moment Do-kwon pushed the door handle, Seong-heon let out a faint, barely audible sigh of relief.
Just then, Do-kwon pressed his heel firmly into the ground and spun around. Then, with long strides, he marched back toward Seong-heon. Seong-heon straightened his back.
“By the way, Hyung.”
Do-kwon leaned over, placing both hands on the desk and shifting his weight. His shadow cast a dark shroud over Seong-heon’s face.
“Yeah?”
“You do a lot of strange things behind the scenes.”
“……What?”
Seong-heon’s mouth hung open in a stupid expression. Behind the scenes, strange things. It wasn’t a long sentence, but many things flashed through his mind.
Seeing Seong-heon’s face change by the second, Do-kwon wore a caustic smile.
“What was it, an Alpha-Omega research lab? You’ve been frequenting that place, and it seems you’ve been hanging out with some low-life kids too.”
“……Do-kwon.”
“I don’t care how you embezzle company funds or how shittily you write contracts. But if the Chairman finds out…… things will get difficult for you. Keep it in moderation.”
Do-kwon said only what he wanted to say and straightened his back. Then, he gave a bright, pleasant smile.
“I’m telling you this because I’m worried.”
At those words, Seong-heon could neither cry nor laugh.
『To be continued in Volume 3』