#214

For some time, Lee Seon-jae both knew and didn’t know why he was so fixated on the Man. He knew, but he wasn’t sure if it was the right reason.

There shouldn’t be a right or wrong when liking someone, but he still hoped it was right, if possible. He had lived a life far from being right or just, but at least with the Man, he wanted a relationship that anyone could understand.

Recognition. Yes. He wanted to be recognized.

Lee Seon-jae liked the Man. Their relationship didn’t start with sexual attraction at all, and it was true that he was drawn to him because of the Young radish kimchi noodles, but honestly, he was interested because the man was a Father.

It was fascinating and enviable that a the man his age, alone, was doing such a good job of playing the role of a parent, something he had never had and would never have. He often thought that if he had a Father or Mother like that, he wouldn’t be living such a lonely life.

Lee Seon-jae was a complete loner. He knew it, but after meeting the Man, he realized it again, painfully. Despite having parents and siblings, none of them looked at him the way the man looked at Ji-hye. He was the one who took care of them and supported them, but Lee Seon-jae himself was never cared for.

That’s why he was more attached to the Man. He was obsessed with the words and actions the man showed him, just like he did to the the child. It goes without saying that this obsession developed into affection.

If the man hadn’t been in that kind of relationship with Kwon Yong-joon, Lee Seon-jae probably would never have even thought about having sex with him. Like a line from an old pop song, they would have remained closer than friends but further than lovers. It wouldn’t have been bad, but after having sex with the Man, he felt a hundred times better as lovers than as friends.

His thoughts about the man flowed randomly, eventually reaching the word “pity.”

Of course, loving feelings came first. But it seemed that love alone wasn’t enough to drive him to do so much for the Man.

It started with a simple curiosity to know about the Man’s past. While he was at it, he also wanted to know what weaknesses Detective Oh had on him.

Until he met Nurse Kim Young-ja, he simply thought the man had suffered a bit. According to the information Jeong Jae-jin Prosecutor gave him, a boy who lost his younger sibling at a young age and whose Mother committed suicide lived from relative to relative, eating only what they gave him, before being sent to an orphanage. As a result, he wandered and made a pretty big mistake.

He never dreamed that he had lived such a miserable life.

Even Lee Seon-jae, who prided himself on having gone through thick and thin under gangsters, felt nauseous at the severity of the abuse in the orphanage. When he thought of the boy Shim Kang-woo struggling to survive in that jungle-like place for nine years, Lee Seon-jae’s eyes naturally turned red. At the same time, affection welled up.

If that was the end, he would have embraced the Man, telling him that he had survived well, and patted him on the back, saying how much he had suffered carrying that difficult past alone. He would have also said hopeful words, telling him to forget all the unhappy past and live happily with him from now on.

If that was the end.

But it wasn’t the end, but another beginning. The boy left the orphanage but was still not free. He couldn’t escape Kim Sung-hwan’s grasp.

He had to live as someone else against his will, and he became a cripple against his will. In return, he received the name of the dead Yoon Ki-beom and the the child.

Did the man know that the the child was a hostage?

Lee Seon-jae shook his head. The the man probably hadn’t thought that far. He wondered if he even had time to think about it. A twenty-year-old young man, who was no different from a child himself, would have been struggling to raise a newborn properly, so he wouldn’t have had the luxury to think about anything else.

The Man, who had raised the the child so well with all his might, was rewarded not with a prize but with a punishment. A punishment to pretend to be a murderer to protect the the child and the the child’s Mother.

How could a life be like this?

Even though he didn’t believe in God, he resented God.

Before he knew it, Lee Seon-jae’s heart ached whenever he thought of the Man. No, his heart was torn. Only after knowing the Man’s past did he truly understand the meaning of the words “heart is torn.”

He had never imagined that he could pity and feel sorry for someone to this extent in his life. Over the past 10 years, he had seen dozens, hundreds, maybe thousands of debtors with unfortunate circumstances, but he had never felt pity for them even once. He just took it for granted.

The same was true for Mr. Kim, Mr. Park, and Mr. Lee, who were helping him now. They each had heartbreaking stories, but he had never pitied them even once. The reason Lee Seon-jae saved them and hired them was not because he felt sorry for them, but because he needed them. Their needs just happened to coincide perfectly.

But the man was different. He had come to know his past after truly liking him, so the things he had gone through felt even bigger. He had been deceiving himself, saying it wasn’t true because he was sorry to the man and didn’t want to be caught feeling sorry for him, but now he had no choice but to admit it.

Lee Seon-jae liked the Man. And at the same time, he pitied him.

Until just a few days ago, he felt sorry for having such feelings, but now he didn’t feel sorry. Just because he had pity for him didn’t mean he didn’t like him. Rather, Lee Seon-jae thought that it might be thanks to that that he could move tirelessly for the Man.

Above all, the man was Lee Seon-jae’s benefactor. He was the one who brought Lee Seon-jae back to life. If it hadn’t been for him, Lee Seon-jae would have already fallen into Niagara Falls and become fish food. Of course, if that had happened, the man would have been scammed, but he wouldn’t have become a murderer.

Shit. It’s all my fault that the man is in jail.

Lee Seon-jae smiled bitterly.

It was a misfortune that wouldn’t have happened if Detective Oh Dae-Ho hadn’t sent him to the Man’s house, or if he hadn’t fallen in love with the Man.

It was ridiculous that he had been worrying about love and pity.

In the end, it was something he had caused. So it was a case that he had to solve by any means. He had a moral responsibility.

Lee Seon-jae, who had finished washing the dishes, washed his hands and shook the rubber gloves before hanging them on the sink.

He shook off and hung up his distracting thoughts as well.

Now all that was left was to wait.

Lee Seon-jae waited leisurely until the time when everyone in this building left work.

* * *

Detective Oh Dae-Ho was locked in a warehouse. Of course, he wasn’t locked up nicely. This was the first time he had been beaten so badly since he was caught smoking cigarettes behind his Father’s back in middle school. He had managed to endure well in the army, and even in the police academy and police station, which were as strict as the army, he had only been slapped a few times or kicked in the shins.

It was such indiscriminate violence that he thought he was going to be beaten to death for the first time in his life. It was painful, but he was terrified that he might actually die like this. The faces of his daughter, Mother, and younger sister flashed through his mind. He even missed his spiteful ex-wife, who had remarried as soon as they divorced, as if she had been waiting for it. He couldn’t help but cry out to be saved. He never dreamed that he would be crying in front of gangsters at this age.

After two rounds of group beatings, Oh Dae-Ho, who had been thrown into the warehouse, was relieved at first. He was grateful for being alone and for not having to be beaten anymore. They also gave him three or four bags of bread and a bottle of water, as if they weren’t planning to starve him to death.

But he couldn’t eat anything right away. His front teeth were broken while he was being beaten, and his molars were also loose, so he didn’t feel like chewing anything. He rinsed the blood in his mouth with water and barely quenched his thirst. That alone made him feel like he was going to live.

But as time passed, the pain worsened. He wondered if his ribs were cracked, as it hurt terribly every time he breathed, and he sometimes felt like his heart was tightening. In fact, there wasn’t a single place on his body that didn’t hurt, so he wasn’t sure if his bones were broken or just cracked. At least his arms weren’t broken. He didn’t know about his legs.

The warehouse was chilly, as if it were in the mountains. It shouldn’t be cold in the middle of summer, but he even felt chills here.

Oh Dae-Ho felt pathetic and pitiful at his situation, having been beaten by gangsters and shivering in the cold.

He couldn’t accept the current situation at all, wondering how he, who had been a respected police officer until just a few days ago, had ended up like this.

As Detective Oh repeatedly fell into a daze and woke up from the pain and cold, he slowly began to reflect on his mistakes one by one, and in the end, he regretted going to Lee Seok-doo the most. It was the worst choice. It was the biggest misjudgment of his life.

He should never have gone to Lee Seok-doo. What was money,

He hated and resented his past self so much for making such a decision, even though he had never been as crazy about money as Kim Byung-chan. If he hadn’t gone to Lee Seok-doo, his junior Park Dong-Hee wouldn’t have stabbed Prosecutor Jeong Jae-jin, he wouldn’t have been treated as an accomplice, and he wouldn’t have tried to meet Lee Seon-jae out of fear.

If he hadn’t gone to Lee Seok-doo and received money in the first place, he wouldn’t have had a falling out with Prosecutor Jeong Jae-jin, and he would still be getting along well with Lee Seon-jae. But he had ruined everything.

Why did he have to go to Lee Seok-doo?

Oh Dae-Ho clutched his head.

He was tormented as he thought of his Father, who was the cause and beginning of all this.

It was his Father’s fault in the first place. But Oh Dae-Ho blamed Yoon Ki-beom. He was tormented and obsessed with the imagination that the cunning bastard might attack him someday, and eventually came all the way here.

It seemed like the the child didn’t even remember, but he couldn’t let his guard down. He knew too well what kind of adolescence Ki-beom had spent, so he couldn’t believe that the the child had changed.

My Father. Oh Gwi-yong.

My Father, whom I respected and looked up to.

His Father had raped Yoon Ki-beom’s Mother, Kim Eun-ok.

Oh Dae-Ho couldn’t believe that his proud Father had done such a dirty thing. He was convinced that someone who was jealous and envious of his Father had framed him.

Later, he heard directly from his Father that it was not a frame-up but the truth, but he never admitted it. No, he couldn’t.

He had too much to lose. His Father was the most respected police officer and adult in Hwangmu-eup. He was a legendary figure in Dongjam-ri, and the townspeople looked up to him more than the chairman. And Oh Dae-Ho was the proud police son of such a Father.

Where did it all go wrong?

His Father raped Kim Eun-ok shortly after Yoon Ki-beom’s younger sibling, Yoon Eun-beom, was beaten to death by her lover.

Yoon Ki-beom saw that scene. It seemed that Ki-beom, who was supposed to be at his maternal uncle’s house, was at home that day. But his Father didn’t know that, and he noticed Yoon Ki-beom’s presence as he was about to leave after finishing his business.

But he didn’t take any action. What did it matter if a tiny kid knew? He was even excited, thinking that he might become his adopted son anyway, and even whistled to himself.

If it had been a one-time thing, he would have made excuses, saying it was an accidental thing that happened because he couldn’t overcome his impulse.

Shamefully, his Father sincerely liked Kim Eun-ok and had been in love with her for a long time, so it didn’t end with just one time. Rather, he approached her more actively. He kept visiting her even though she refused.

His Father thought that his chance had come. Even though he was a married man with two children, he didn’t even think it was wrong.

Yoon Ki-beom’s Mother was young and pretty, and she was a woman without a husband. His father mistakenly thought that he had investigated to the best of his ability and caught the culprit who killed her son, so she should like him instead. No, he believed that it was natural for her to like him.

He could easily support two households, and he believed that he was qualified to do so, even if no one else was.

But Yoon Ki-beom’s Mother was completely devastated by that incident. She, who was still unable to recover from the death of her youngest son, completely lost her mind after being raped by his Father, who was a trusted and relied-upon neighborhood brother and police officer.

The reason she built high walls and the reason she hanged herself was ultimately because of his Father. His Father admitted it too. Because she left a suicide note.

I, Kim Eun-ok, am dying because of Oh Gwi-yong. He raped me for two years. Even as a ghost, I will resent Oh Gwi-yong.

The first person to discover that suicide note was Kwon Il-taek, Chairman Kwon. At that time, Ki-beom had completely left Dongjam Village, so he didn’t know that his Mother had left a suicide note.

Father agreed with Chairman Kwon to keep the suicide note a secret. Father meticulously wrote a report so that his own faults would not be revealed. He pretended to be saddened by Kim Eun-ok’s death as best he could.

Chairman Kwon and Father had much to gain from each other, so the secret was maintained for a long time. Until Yoon Ki-beom returned to Dongjam Village.

Oh Dae-ho couldn’t remember clearly whether it was Father, dying of illness, who first brought up the story, or Chairman Kwon, who welcomed Ki-beom back by returning his house and land. All Oh Dae-ho clearly remembered was the sense of betrayal towards Father. And the fear that this fact must never be known by others.

Not knowing that such a thing had happened, Oh Dae-ho had initially welcomed Ki-beom’s return. He regretted the past when he had actively tried to help him settle down.

After learning the truth, Oh Dae-ho felt uncomfortable whenever he met Ki-beom in the village. Still, he thought it would be convenient in many ways to make him his ally, so he treated him moderately well. He kept him close and watched his movements.

The returned Ki-beom sincerely respected and relied on Oh Dae-ho. He was so kind that it seemed he had truly turned over a new leaf. He was so kind that Oh Dae-ho felt guilty.

But Father, who suddenly repented of the crimes he had committed in the past and sincerely confessed, came to mind, and whenever that happened, he couldn’t look Yoon Ki-beom in the eye.

It wasn’t because he felt sorry for Ki-beom, but because he was angry. The thought that that bastard knew everything and was deliberately pretending not to know crept up on him. He had sleepless nights whenever he thought about when that bastard would take revenge on him.

Then, six years ago, when a detective from Ansan came to Dongjam Village, that fear turned into endless hope. With the conviction that Yoon Ki-beom was a criminal, and the hope that he could protect Father’s honor and his own honor by throwing that bastard in jail and driving him out of the village, Oh Dae-ho became obsessed with the case.

As a result of his relentless pursuit, he met Yoon Hyuk-beom, Ki-beom’s cousin, and came to know Na Jin-soo.

Na Jin-soo was an evil bastard. He was evil to the core. Nevertheless, Oh Dae-ho had expectations for him. He listened to the stories that he trickled out and put money into his commissary every month.

He never dreamed that things would unfold like this, and he only had the single-minded determination to put Yoon Ki-beom in jail. Knowing that Father was wrong, he was excited about making that bastard a criminal, let alone apologizing to Yoon Ki-beom. That was why he went to Lee Seok-doo.

And he succeeded. Lee Seok-doo persuaded Na Jin-soo, whom he had been trying to coax for years but could not make his ally.

But it wasn’t a success. It was a miserable failure.

It was the worst move that ruined both his and Yoon Ki-beom’s lives.

He should have asked Ki-beom.

He should have asked if he remembered what he saw that day.

If he had seen it, he should have sincerely apologized and ended it.

Like Father, he was too cowardly to do so.

He wanted to apologize now, even now. He wanted to sincerely repent.

But he didn’t think that opportunity would come.

Oh Dae-ho thought so with a detective’s intuition.

Chapter 215