By Zephyria 
It was too tedious to even move my lips to speak, so I just fidgeted with my fingers. I remained lying down like that for a long time during the trip. Even with my eyes open, I wasn’t sure if my mind was awake.
“Young Master, we have arrived.”
Lee Kyung-jin opened the car door, pulled me out, and held up my limp body to stand me up.
“Cha Soo-kyung.”
I heard Kwon Yi-kang’s voice from a distance. Approaching with fast footsteps, he pulled me away from Lee Kyung-jin, whom I was leaning on.
“Let go.”
“I was merely supporting him.”
Lee Kyung-jin stepped back and replied as if making an excuse.
Kwon Yi-kang, who had pulled me into his arms, supported my hips with his hand and lifted my body. Holding me in his arms like a child, he slowly stroked my back and continued.
“Thank you for the effort of bringing him here. He should calm down in about three or four days. I’ll tell him to contact you then.”
“Yes.”
“You may go back now.”
He was using polite language, but he was strangely overbearing. His way of speaking is so odd. Why does it feel like the speaker is in a superior position over the listener even when using honorifics? I wrapped my arms around Kwon Yi-kang’s neck and gave a short laugh.
From Kwon Yi-kang’s body, pressed close to mine, came the sweetness I had missed. Unlike the haphazardly mixed pheromones, that scent made my body feel much more at ease.
After sending Lee Kyung-jin away, Kwon Yi-kang took the elevator to his home. Held like a child, I buried my nose in the crook of his neck and breathed in repeatedly.
“You worked hard to get here.”
“I was in a lot of pain. …I thought I’d be okay if I took the medicine, but it still hurts. It feels like my bones are melting.”
“You’re okay now. Your clothes are damp from sweat. Let’s take them off and wipe you down.”
“I don’t want to do anything.”
“You don’t have to do anything. I’ll do it.”
Laying me on the bed, he carefully removed my wet clothes and slowly wiped my body with a towel soaked in warm water. He meticulously cleaned my neck, chest, back, arms, and every single finger, then covered my fresh body with a blanket.
“Hold me.”
At my request, he readily climbed under the blanket and pulled me into his arms. The scent filling my nostrils was satisfying. I rubbed my cheek against the firm chest holding me.
I feel like I can breathe now.
“They tell me everything will be fine if I take the medicine, but it’s not fine at all. It hurts if I take it, and it hurts if I don’t. There’s no point in taking it. It’s a fucking awful medicine.”
“It’s like a preventative measure to suppress pheromones so you aren’t exposed to Alphas. Since it forcibly suppresses the pheromones, how could it not hurt?”
“I don’t think it hurt this much the last time I took it. I just felt a bit tired and sleepy, but this time it’s strange.”
I emphasized to Kwon Yi-kang as much as possible that I was in pain. Because I loved it when he soothed, comforted, and held me, I was acting spoiled in a way I had never done before.
“Last time, you took it when it was almost over, but today is the first day, which is when it’s the most chaotic. It’s a relief you were at home.”
“I was on my way out. I had to turn the car around quickly to go home.”
“That really was a relief. If you had encountered an Alpha…”
“Are you worried something bad would happen to me?”
“Yes, and something bad would have happened to that Alpha as well.”
What is that? Does he mean something bad happens to anyone who gets entangled with me? Am I some kind of disaster? Or is he regretting being the one entangled with me?
“Do you hate being entangled with me?”
“No, I mean I would have caused something bad to happen to that Alpha.”
I let out a faint laugh at his whisper. I like it when Kwon Yi-kang speaks like that. It makes me feel like he treasures me and is obsessed with me. The feeling that someone wants me gave me a strange sense of pride.
“I like that you worry about me.”
“That doesn’t mean you should create things to worry about. I’ll worry about you even if you’re just breathing.”
Lifting my interlaced hand, he whispered as if confessing his love, kissing the back of my hand and each finger one by one. His voice, which left a slight vibration as if caressing the rim of my ear, was sweet.
“Let’s have sex.”
“Your voice sounds like you’re about to fall asleep.”
He laughed, pointing out my dazed voice. The chest facing me heaved slightly. The transmitted movement, the heartbeat in my ear, and the touch stroking my back were all so wonderful.
“I’m not sleeping.”
“It would be better to get some sleep.”
“What about sex?”
“You can’t even get hard anyway because you took the medicine.”
To say I can’t even get hard is a sad thing. My balls have disappeared, my dick has shrunk, and apparently, if I take medicine during every heat cycle, I can’t even get an erection. A wave of sorrow washed over me.
“…Then why did you tell me to come?”
If we aren’t going to have sex. He could have just left me at home; why did he call me here? Despite my small protest, he only hugged me tighter with the arm wrapped around my back and made no sexual attempts.
“Because you were struggling. You feel a bit more comfortable now, don’t you?”
Not a bit, but a lot. I felt completely better, as if I were floating in the sky. The raging pheromones had found stability, and my lethargic body was enveloped in a pleasant languor.
“Pheromones are amazing. …They make the body completely pathetic. It doesn’t feel like my own body.”
“Even when your body is hurting, your mouth is as active as ever.”
“Yeah, I’m dying, but only my mouth is alive.”
Kwon Yi-kang, looking down at me with eyes overflowing with affection as if facing a cute creature, lightly pressed his lips against mine. When I stuck out my tongue to lick the plain kiss, he let out a low laugh.
The movement of softly intertwining and sucking the tongue was cautious. As I rubbed against the flesh that felt hot, he withdrew his tongue and pulled his lips away.
“Why…?”
As I asked, rubbing my lips against the tip of his chin like a whimper, he firmly shook his head.
“Stop being stubborn and get some sleep. I’m saying this for your own sake. What you need is sleep.”
“What I need is you.”
“I’m right here.”
“I hate sleeping. When my body goes limp, I feel like I’ll be dragged away to a place I don’t know, like when I have sleep paralysis. I’m scared.”
I feel like I can’t move a single finger and my body will just sink and never float back up. I feel an obligation to move my fingers with all my might to confirm that I am alive.
“Either you’re a liar or an exaggerator; which one is it?”
“I’m not, it’s true.”
“Your pheromones are faint. You’re very peaceful, like a child asleep in its mother’s arms; weak, but stable.”
He is as sensitive as a beast. I felt that he would notice any other lie immediately. Are all Alphas like this, or is he uniquely sensitive? I wish he would pretend to be fooled by my lies at least once, but he was utterly heartless.
“It’s annoying.”
“Your eyes are half-closed.”
“They are not.”
“Your voice is fading.”
“I said it’s not.”
“Stop being stubborn.”
As if soothing me, Kwon Yi-kang kissed my cheek and neck, slowly stroking my back. The repetitive movement made my already blurred consciousness even more hazy. He did not loosen his firm grip until I fell asleep, and held in his arms, I drifted off feeling a stronger sense of security than ever before.
∞ ∞ ∞
“Fuck, stop acting so superior!”
I was on my way home late after eating. As I walked up the darkened garden, several men were standing in a confrontation.
A brawl in our garden? I looked closely at the men standing against the garden backdrop. My second brother and my eldest brother, who stood with attendants behind him, were facing each other as if they were about to come to blows.
No, the eldest brother had his usual emotionless, bleak face, and the second brother also had a face full of anger, just as usual.
“Do it in moderation while Father is letting it slide. It was quite a headache to cover up the last incident. How long do I have to clean up after you one by one? How much time has passed since you cried and begged Father that you’d behave, and yet again…”
“Look at him, now he’s even taking credit? How much did you actually clean up for me, Hyung? You probably just sneered inside, thinking, ‘This bastard messed up again.’”
“Cha Dong-hu.”
“Do you think the world is yours just because people flatter you as the next hospital director? Fuck, if I had been born first, you would be nothing. A bastard who knows nothing other than acting arrogant because he’s the eldest.”
Wow, the second brother is coming on strong today. Did they have a first round before I arrived? The atmosphere was so heated that it was exciting just to watch.
At the second brother’s curse, the eldest brother swung his fist. With a thud, the second brother’s face snapped to the side from the hit. Rubbing his jaw as if it hurt quite a bit, the second brother grabbed the eldest brother’s collar, and an attendant who had been standing a step behind stepped forward to block the second brother.
“Get out of the way! You arrogant piece of shit.”
“Please calm down, Young Master.”
“I told you to move.”
“I am sorry.”
“Oh, look at this? You’re acting up because you trust your brother? Do I look like a pushover to you too? Fuck, do I look like a joke?”
“Stop it. It’s embarrassing for the subordinates to watch. Don’t do anything more ridiculous than this.”
Pushing away the hand holding his collar and straightening his crumpled shirt, the eldest brother pointed out in a cold voice. Despite having a similar height, his gaze strangely looked down on people.
“You won’t listen to anything I say. Instead, just make sure this doesn’t reach Father’s ears. Do not disappoint Father any further.”
“Why? Wouldn’t it be good for you if it reached Father’s ears? Or are you saying you don’t even care about someone like me?”
“Twisted brat.”
As if there were no more value in exchanging words, the eldest brother left the second brother behind and walked toward the house. The attendant beside him followed the eldest brother, leaving only the second brother standing alone.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck!”
The second brother, venting his anger on the innocent grass, turned his head and looked at me. I might get caught in the crossfire just by being near him. Hiding my awkward expression, I approached the second brother.
“The eldest brother always makes people feel bad even when saying the same things. Is the place you were hit okay?”
“Were you peeking like a little rat?”