By Zephyria 
For the first time, I went to the place called Cha Soo-kyung’s studio. It was a space in the annex, and as soon as I opened the door, a strange smell of oil stung my nose.
Something covered in white cloth filled one wall of the studio, and in the center, I saw a large canvas placed on something like a tripod.
This is what’s used instead of paper when painting oils, and this tripod is called an easel, right? The smell stinging my nose must be the smell of oil paints.
The painting on the canvas was only half-finished, so I couldn’t even guess what was being painted. I felt like if I mixed various paints on paper, sprayed them, and stood the paper up to let them drip, it would look similar to this.
Hmm, it’s a difficult painting. A commoner like me wouldn’t even dare to understand it.
I tried to lift the canvas, but realizing the paint hadn’t dried yet, I pulled my hand away. A clear fingerprint remained on the corner of the canvas.
It’s been several weeks since Cha Soo-kyung died, yet the paint still hasn’t dried; although oil paints are known to dry exceptionally slowly, I didn’t know they’d be this slow.
I squeezed some paint from nearby, put it on a brush, and applied it to the canvas. Unfortunately, it was red, and the line I drew didn’t blend into the painting, standing out as an alien element.
“I’d have to know what was being painted to at least give it a rough finish.”
As I dragged the brush down just as Cha Soo-kyung would have, it turned into a horror painting, like a sheet of dripping blood. It was practically Cha Soo-kyung’s final posthumous work, and in less than a minute, it was brilliantly ruined by my hand.
Feeling sorry for the non-existent Cha Soo-kyung, I quietly put down the brush. To make the excuse that it was because I was unfamiliar with oil painting, I knew it wouldn’t have been any different even with watercolors.
While slowly looking around the studio, I found the audio system and pressed the play button. I expected for a moment to see what Cha Soo-kyung’s usual music taste was, but an opera I didn’t recognize began to flow out.
This is not it.
An opera that sounds like a ghost’s wailing in such a stifling studio, combined with the oil smell that makes my head spin and a painting that looks like a horror scene.
It was very bad for mental health. Since he painted in a place like this, it’s no wonder Cha Soo-kyung fell into depression.
A person should eat good things, see good things, think good thoughts, and listen to good music to change their mood.
I hurriedly turned off the opera and played the dance music I’ve been listening to lately on my phone. Boom-da boom-da, the music that makes one’s hips sway calmed my mind a bit.
Swaying my body, I peeked around the studio and approached the things covered in white cloth. I was curious about the bumpy shapes, and as I pulled down the cloth, what was revealed was a box full of canvases of various sizes and rolled-up papers.
I lined up the canvases against the wall. Most of them were things where the colors were so messily tangled that it was unclear what they were.
This one looks like a flower, and I can’t tell if this one is the sky or the sea. This one looks like a landscape painting with a lake and trees. I don’t know if this is a goblin or a monster. Is this a burning land or hell? And the rest… it just seems like a stream of consciousness expressed in painting.
Your conscious world was a difficult one, Cha Soo-kyung.
Judging by the drying time, it seems he had been painting and collecting them for quite a while. He must have painted since he was young. His skill was also… I don’t know if this is a good level, but since he was accepted into university, it’s probably a good level.
I also took out the rolled-up papers one by one and unfolded them. I wondered why he had drawn so many Westerners, but I accidentally noticed they were strangely similar to the white plaster statues on the studio shelf. For some unknown reason, he must have drawn those plaster statues over and over again.
On other papers, there was Cha Soo-kyung’s own face and the Omega father’s face. I saw the faces of other family members too, and occasionally there were paintings where he had drawn them like demons.
In many ways, it’s certain that Cha Soo-kyung’s mind had been strange for a long time.
Perhaps because the place hadn’t been cleaned since the suicide attempt, dust rose with a slight rustle. After coughing a few times, I sat on a chair in a corner of the studio and organized my thoughts.
To live as Cha Soo-kyung from now on, I’ll have to show myself painting. But what if the results keep coming out like this?
Actually, I had a bit of expectation. Although the soul is Min Jae-hee, the body is Cha Soo-kyung, so wouldn’t the talent for painting remain? I realized it was a vain expectation.
“At this rate, there’s nothing I can do.”
I was given the chance to live like a normal human being, but what am I supposed to do if I can’t actually achieve anything? Should I just live off my wealthy parents’ assets? They aren’t even my parents; that would be too trashy.
I want to do something I’m capable of, and I want to earn money honestly instead of being a pickpocket. With that money, I want to do what I want, meet someone I love, and start a normal family.
I also need to find the culprit behind my parents’ accident, but I still have no idea who it is. How on earth did Cha Soo-kyung find out? He spoke as if someone had bragged about it to him; who could have been close enough to him to say such a thing?
I don’t know anything. Not the culprit of my parents’ accident, nor what I can do in the future.
My head began to ache. I covered my head with my hands and slumped my body helplessly. As expected, the energy of this place is bad. I feel like Cha Soo-kyung’s depression is infecting me.
Deciding I needed to get away from this spot, I trudged back toward the main house. Chief Cha approached me, perhaps finding it strange that I had returned so soon after leaving for the studio.
“Could you not find the studio?”
“No, I’ve been there.”
“You returned quickly. You don’t look well; are you feeling sick?”
“Just… I’ve become a bit depressed.”
I became depressed thinking about how bleak my future is. It seems that even after becoming Cha Soo-kyung, being completely useless doesn’t change.
Is Min Jae-hee’s soul the problem? At the very least, if I were Cha Soo-kyung, I would have painted. Min Jae-hee isn’t good at anything. Where would I even use pickpocketing skills? Painting isn’t something achieved through effort alone, so should I learn another skill now?
While I was lost in thought, Chief Cha was looking at me with suspicious eyes, wondering if my depression had relapsed. Suddenly noticing his gaze, I straightened my shoulders.
“No, it’s just… my memories aren’t coming back at all. I tried to paint, but the level was so poor that I wondered if I had actually painted before.”
“Please don’t be too impatient, young master. No one is pressuring you to recover your memories, so please put your mind at ease. I actually quite like the current you.”
“…Really?”
“Of course. You were always so quiet, so I can’t tell you how wonderful it is to see your energetic side. So please don’t be depressed; why don’t you meet some friends, watch a movie, and have a good time on a day like this? I think it would be a good change of pace.”
…I don’t have any friends to meet. I was about to become depressed again.
“I’m going up to my room.”
“Shall I bring up a cup of tea for you?”
“No. I’m fine. Thank you.”
Dragging my feet, I went up to my room and collapsed onto the bed.
When I was Min Jae-hee, I had to earn money on happy days, sad days, depressed days, and even sick days. The guys managing me weren’t the kind of benevolent sorts who would consider my circumstances; they drove me out onto the streets regardless of my emotions or physical condition.
Compared to that, this is practically heaven. Yet, spending time doing absolutely nothing gave me a strange sense of guilt. I suppose one needs a habit of playing to actually enjoy playing.
I looked through my phone contacts, but aside from my family and attendants, there was… one person left.
The Alpha I met a few days ago and played “adults” with.
We had exchanged contacts before parting, but just as the man said, neither of us had reached out since.
Should I… try calling? After agonizing for a while, I pressed the contact labeled ‘Kwon Yi-kang’ and attempted a call. The signal rang for a long time, and just as I thought he wasn’t going to answer, Kwon Yi-kang picked up right before it cut off.
—Hello.
The low, resonating voice was definitely Kwon Yi-kang’s. Even though we had only met once a few days ago, this man’s voice felt strangely familiar.
—Hello? If you called, you should speak. Did you just want to hear my voice?
Since his voice sounded somewhat amused, I let go of some of my tension and managed to open my mouth.
“Do you… remember me?”
—If you can’t even remember things from a few days ago, we’ll have to exchange this brain.
“Is there a place that exchanges those?”
—If it’s really that subpar, I’ll have to look for one. Your heat cycle wouldn’t have come back already, so what is the purpose of your call?
Judging by the way he casually uttered the word ‘heat cycle,’ he was likely not at the office or was in a private space. I flopped face-down on the bed and simply replied, “Just…”
“You said there’d be no reason to contact you, and you really haven’t called once.”
—Isn’t that the same for you?
“Can I… see you today?”
—The purpose?
“Do I have to have a purpose?”
He’s so cold. This man probably doesn’t have friends either.
When I replied in an unintentionally sullen tone, Kwon Yi-kang was silent for a moment. After a short gap, he made a sound, “Hmm.”
—How about dinner?
“Can’t we now?”
—I’m at work. I have to work.
“Right, you have to work.”
My tone brightened momentarily before becoming sullen again, and the sound of a low chuckle echoed from the other end of the phone.
—I think around six-thirty would work. Is that okay?
“Yeah. Where? That hotel from before?”
For some unknown reason, I thought he was staying at a hotel, so I asked, but unexpectedly, Kwon Yi-kang mentioned the name of a place a bit further away.
“Why there?”
—You said dinner was fine.
“…You meant eating dinner? I thought you were asking if seeing each other in the evening was okay.”
—You don’t want to eat dinner?
“No, I do.”
—Then I’ll see you then.
The moment I replied “Okay,” the call ended. He really is a cold human being. He only looks for the purpose, and once the purpose is served, he hangs up without a second glance.
Though I had unintentionally made dinner plans, my current depressed mood didn’t vanish.
I’m also a person who needs conversation, and I didn’t know it would be this sad to realize I have no one to talk to. I almost miss the old days when I had to go out and work without even time for conversation.
No, actually, I don’t miss it. Pickpocketing isn’t an honest job. It’s better not to do that kind of work at all.
I’m just spoiled. I’m in this state because I’m too comfortable.
Patting Cha Soo-kyung’s slim stomach, I muttered to myself.
I’m really just spoiled. Eating and playing like this was never in my destiny, yet I’m complaining even after getting it in my hands.
Lonely and bored? Did I even have the leisure to think such things before? Back then, I worried about what to eat today and how to survive tomorrow.
I gave a big stretch and stood up from the bed. I had to find a way to live more ambitiously and rewardingly.
∞ ∞ ∞
“So I told you, I was depressed. I felt like there was nothing I was capable of.”
While I continued to talk, Kwon Yi-kang sat with a straight posture and ate his meal quietly. He moved his hands so that not even the sound of cutlery clinking occurred, placing neatly cut meat into his mouth and chewing thoroughly with lips closed. It felt as if I were watching a textbook on how one should dine.
“Isn’t that a talent? Can you lose your talent just because you lost your memories?”
“I don’t know. Anyway, in my current state, I don’t even know how to paint. There are so many brushes, but I don’t know why there are so many; half the things in the studio are items I don’t know the use of, and the paint colors look similar but all have different names, so I don’t understand why they’re divided like that.”
I guess talent belongs to the soul, not the body. I had hoped a little, but I decided to accept that the talent for painting had vanished along with Cha Soo-kyung’s soul.
“So I became depressed and came back, and then Chief Cha—ah, Chief Cha is someone who works at my house, but he’s not a handyman, he seems to be like the boss of the employees. Anyway, Chief Cha told me it was fine and suggested I meet some friends. But then I realized I don’t have any friends. While I was hospitalized, the only person who visited was Father. Other family members didn’t even show their faces, and no one came claiming to be a friend. I got a new phone because the old one broke during the accident, and the only contacts are family; if no one has contacted me since then, it’s certain I have no friends, right?”
“So you contacted me, the only person whose number you have.”
Kwon Yi-kang smiled, his eyes crinkling, as he sipped his wine. He wasn’t mocking me; he looked slightly amused, so I relaxed and nodded.
For some reason, I find myself rambling on to Kwon Yi-kang. It’s only the second time I’ve seen this man, but he’s strangely comfortable, and I think it’s also because I don’t have to feel tension or pressure since I consider both Min Jae-hee and Cha Soo-kyung to be people I don’t know at all.
Moreover, no matter what I said, Kwon Yi-kang responded with a relaxed demeanor and maintained a proper distance, so I didn’t have to worry if he would harm me, look at me strangely, or blame me.
“Even the people who are family are uncomfortable. The time I spend seeing their faces isn’t that long, but still, it feels suffocating when I’m with them. I can’t find the timing to speak, and the only time we see each other is during meals, but if I speak like this during a meal, I’ll probably get scolded immediately.”
“That’s usually how it is. I’m not one to talk much during meals either.”
“What do you mean ‘meals’? It’s about interaction. It’s sharing the most comfortable time, right? But if you can’t speak and eat uncomfortably, the meal has no meaning. It’s just filling your stomach. They aren’t people struggling to survive; I don’t know why such affluent people act like that. They talk about ‘lack of dignity’ or ‘low class,’ but that’s just being desolate.”
I twirled the spaghetti with a fork and chewed it in my mouth. There were so many types that I had agonized over it, but the spaghetti I chose with a ‘whatever happens, happens’ mindset was decent.
“When I eat at home, I feel like I’ll get indigestion from walking on eggshells. When we all eat together, my stomach really feels bloated, and while it’s better when I eat alone, it feels strange sitting alone at such a huge dining table. I think it’s better when I’m curled up alone eating cup noodles.”
“You speak as if you’ve actually done that.”
“No, I just mean it would probably be better. It’s just an imagination, an imagination of how it might be.”
Ah, I made a slip of the tongue. Flustered, I grabbed the wine glass in front of me, and in my haste to pull it closer, I knocked the fork on the table to the floor. Clang, a sharp sound echoed through the restaurant. I hunched my shoulders as eyes gathered on me.
“The fork fell. Please bring a new one.”
Kwon Yi-kang elegantly raised his hand and spoke to the restaurant employee who approached. He smiled at me, as if to say it was fine, while I was mindful of the people around us.
“Mistakes happen, why are you so surprised? Like someone who did something wrong. Straighten your back, open your shoulders, and sit up.”
Following Kwon Yi-kang’s words, I straightened my back and shoulders and sat up straight. Perhaps because I wasn’t used to it, it felt awkward and eating became quite troublesome. Kwon Yi-kang let out a low laugh at my stiff movements.
“You really are closer to a colt running through the fields than a refined young master. Were you always like this?”
“Originally, I was incredibly timid, frustrating, and always catering to others, unable to raise my voice once, just suffering internally until I got depression. Instead, I would have been well-versed in etiquette like this. Anyway, that’s how it was. Everything changed after the accident, so Father was actually contemplating whether he should have let me be discharged because I’m like a wild child.”
“You had a boring personality.”
“I think so too. This is better for living in the world. Of course, it seems I have no strengths other than my personality.”
“Why do you think that? You’re still young. There are many things you can do if you look for them, and you have plenty of time to learn new things.”
“…Do you think so?”
My heart, which had been anxious until now, sought a bit of comfort in Kwon Yi-kang’s single sentence. I asked him cautiously, and Kwon Yi-kang nodded as if guaranteeing it.
“You’re only twenty. You’re still very young. Your world is just beginning.”
“That’s true, it’s just the beginning. …Come to think of it, I don’t even know your age. How old are you?”
“Once you hear my age, you might have to rethink your use of ‘you’ and ‘you’ as a form of address.”
Right. It’s certain he’s older than me, but I really did go too far calling him ‘you’ so casually. He looks to be in his late twenties or early thirties. But what should I call someone in this ambiguous relationship? Hyung-nim? Mister? Teacher? While I was contemplating for a moment, Kwon Yi-kang opened his mouth and continued.
“Thirty-four.”
“What?”
“Thirty-four.”
“….”
He’s older than I thought. He didn’t look that old; he’s almost mid-thirties. A “wow” escaped me, though it wasn’t exactly an expression of admiration.
“You’re a total ahjussi.”
“I think the change in address is a bit too extreme.”
“You didn’t look that old; you have a baby face.”
“I appreciate the compliment.”
“But you talk like an ahjussi.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment too.”
Kwon Yi-kang replied indifferently, but one slightly raised eyebrow spoke for his displeased heart. Because Kwon Yi-kang’s twitching eyebrow was cute, I had to hurriedly stifle a burst of laughter.
“I guess I really am an Omega.”
“I feel like the topic of conversation is jumping around too much.”
“Listen. I found it so hard to adjust to the fact that I’m an Omega. They tell me I’m an Omega, but I don’t know what pheromones are or anything, and there’s nothing I can actually feel. I think I understood a little after going through a heat cycle, but at that time, my mind was just like, ‘Ah, fuck. Why does this thing even happen? I fucked a man? This is bullshit’…”
“So that’s how you felt. I guess I didn’t notice because you were lunging at me so much back then.”
“I couldn’t help it because I’d never even imagined doing this or that with a man. In my imagination, the partner was always a woman. And not me being the one getting fucked, but me being the one fucking.”
As vulgar words continued to come out of my mouth, Kwon Yi-kang placed his index finger against his lips. This was the opposite of how he had told me to be confident just a moment ago. No matter how confident Kwon Yi-kang is, talking about fucking and pounding in such an open place must be beyond the level of tolerance.
I found Kwon Yi-kang’s reaction funny and let out a giggle. I don’t know why this big man keeps looking cute to me.
“But now I’ve thought, ‘Ah, I am an Omega.’ Because you keep looking cute. Doing it with you… wasn’t bad either. They say I wasn’t in my right mind then, but even imagining doing it with a clear head, I think it wouldn’t be bad.”
“I look… cute?”
Kwon Yi-kang let out a hollow laugh and wore a bewildered expression. It seems being called ‘cute’ is a compliment he doesn’t care for. Even that reaction is prim and cute.
I smiled broadly and hid my face with the wine glass, and Kwon Yi-kang’s eyebrow twitched as if dancing.
“There’s something I’m curious about.”
“I have an anxious premonition that I shouldn’t ask, but is this just my imagination?”
“What I felt back then, was it because of the heat cycle? Or were you just that good? Or is my body naturally sensitive? I never imagined something the size of you would fit in my back. Wow, thinking about it again, it’s really unbelievable. Is this an Omega trait? Can you feel that much with other Alphas too? How was it for you? The feeling must be different for every partner.”
“I think it’s time to leave.”
I just asked what I was curious about, but Kwon Yi-kang emptied his wine and made a gesture to get up from his seat.
Did I speak in too open a place? Still, I lowered my voice enough so that other tables wouldn’t hear. Of course, it’s not the kind of content for such a setting, but can’t it be helped if I’m curious? I don’t know when I’ll be able to talk to Kwon Yi-kang again. And it’s not like I can have this conversation with anyone else but him.
“Why? Do you hate talking about this?”
“I think the meal is mostly finished.”
Glancing at the fork I had let go of long ago, Kwon Yi-kang stood up and draped his coat over his arm. He walked around the table, helped me up, draped my outer coat over my shoulders, and softly kissed the nape of my neck.
“I think it would be better to give my answer somewhere else.”
The fine hairs on the nape of my neck where Kwon Yi-kang’s lips touched stood on end. His pheromones, which I hadn’t felt since the heat cycle passed, faintly tickled the tip of my nose.
∞ ∞ ∞
We moved to the hotel where Kwon Yi-kang was staying. As if it were my own home, I found a toothbrush to brush my teeth and washed my body; as I came out, he followed into the bathroom.
Wearing only a bathrobe, I lay on the bed and waited for Kwon Yi-kang. The hotel room was cleanly cleaned, the bedding was tidy—everything was so clean that although it was a hotel, it seemed there was no inconvenience in living there.
Why was Kwon Yi-kang staying at a hotel? The cost of staying here must be considerable. Did he have enough money to afford it?
Come to think of it, the car he drove was an expensive foreign model, he ordered with the familiarity of someone who frequented high-end restaurants, and both his clothes and demeanor exuded wealth.
When I was Min Jae-hee, I was surrounded by nothing but poor people, but now that I’m living as Cha Soo-kyung, even the people I happen to encounter are wealthy. Is this why they say people live in different worlds? Have I completely moved from Min Jae-hee’s world into Cha Soo-kyung’s?
“You aren’t sleeping, are you?”
“I was just thinking. I’m a person who actually uses their brain to think, you know.”
I sat up in bed, looking at Kwon Yi-kang as he emerged from the bathroom. The bathrobe draped over his naked body created a strange sense of tension. I had come here with this intention, but facing the act with a clear head made my vision go a bit dark.
“Are you finally getting nervous? This is why you shouldn’t follow a strange Alpha without thinking.”
“I’m just organizing my thoughts before I actually go through with it, okay?”
“Is this the kind of thing that requires ‘organizing thoughts’?”
“Of course it is. My mind is still perfectly lucid right now. I don’t know how I’m supposed to start.”
It’s not like I can just shove it in blindly. At my grumpy retort, Kwon Yi-kang approached with a smile.
The tips of his outstretched fingers touched my cheek. His hand brushed softly past, moving to my earlobe and then down to my neck, pushing aside the bathrobe to wrap around my rounded shoulder. My body shivered slightly at the touch of another person on my skin.
“I don’t want to do it frantically like last time.”
“Then?”
“Slowly. So that I can at least remember what I did and how I did it later.”
“Do it however you want,” Kwon Yi-kang answered kindly, slowly untying the string that held the bathrobe closed. As the knot loosened and the front parted, his naked body was revealed. He pushed the fabric off his shoulders, and the bathrobe fell to the floor.
I looked up at Kwon Yi-kang, now naked myself, and he leaned down, rubbing his lips against my cheek before sucking on it gently.
“Did you know there’s a mole here?”
He must be talking about the mole on one of Cha Soo-kyung’s cheeks. I nodded, and Kwon Yi-kang sucked on the mole again.
“It’s a good spot for sucking.”
“That sounds a bit erotic.”
“Should I say it’s a spot where I want to kiss you instead?”
“I prefer the erotic version.”
Kwon Yi-kang burst into laughter, and I pushed his body down onto the bed. I climbed on top of his large frame and opened the bathrobe he hadn’t yet removed, spreading it to the sides.
His semi-erect member was revealed before my eyes. Even seeing it again, it’s truly huge. So huge that I almost felt like I didn’t want to be naked with him. Min Jae-hee’s member hadn’t been this large; Cha Soo-kyung’s was so small in comparison that it was embarrassing.
“Is that the only thing you covet? Your gaze on my lower half is quite hot.”
“I’m just jealous, alright? It’s great because it’s big, isn’t it?”
“Not particularly.”
“I feel like mine is too small. I was totally shocked when I woke up in the hospital and went to the bathroom. I felt like my pride as a man had collapsed.”
“It’s not that much of a blow to your pride.”
As Kwon Yi-kang laughed, my body, perched atop him, bounced up and down. I moved up onto his stomach and leaned down. Facing him so closely that our lips almost touched, I slowly examined Kwon Yi-kang’s face.
Even looking again, it was a clean, well-defined face. However, his exceptionally black pupils were like a bottomless abyss, making it difficult to see what lay inside.
“I like your face. Your voice, too. And the fact that you’re kind.”
“Shall I tell you a fact?”
“What? Did you have plastic surgery?”
“Unfortunately, my face is natural.”
“Then what?”
“You’re the first person to tell me I’m kind.”
“Do you have a split personality, or are you telling me in a roundabout way that you’re treating me specially?”
“I’m saying that you are seeing me differently than other people do.”
“If you mean my standards for ‘kindness’ are lower than others, then I don’t think so.”
“Then it seems you’ve been surrounded by exceptionally cold-hearted people.”
That actually felt somewhat true. I acknowledged it by lightly biting and releasing Kwon Yi-kang’s lip.
The playful banter vanished, replaced by the sound of wet skin rubbing together. I sucked on Kwon Yi-kang’s lips and slid my tongue into the gap. Just as he had done, I swept the inner flesh and flickered my tongue playfully, prompting Kwon Yi-kang to catch my tongue with his own and suck it in.
“It hurts.”
When I whimpered with a slight frown, he sucked my tongue gently. My lips were sucked greedily, and Kwon Yi-kang’s tongue swam inside my mouth. The sensation of him sweeping the inside felt similar to when a member dug deep and scraped the inner walls, making my knees weak.
“I can… feel your pheromones.”
His pheromones, which had felt faint, were now emitting a sweetness. Like a child intoxicated by a sweet scent, I buried my face in the crook of Kwon Yi-kang’s neck and murmured.
“Maybe it’s because your heat cycle is over. It’s faint, but since I’m close, I can definitely feel your pheromones. They’re sweet, and it makes me feel good, almost giddy.”
“Is that all?”
“What, should I be completely zonked out and lose my mind?”
“Not necessarily. It’s just that it’s hard to believe your description of ‘sweet.’”
“You told me I smell like cookie-flowers. I’m the one who can’t imagine what that’s supposed to be.”
What on earth is a cookie-flower scent? Even trying to imagine it, I couldn’t guess. Is it a combination of cookie and flower smells? I should try buying a flower called freesia sometime.
“Do ordinary Alphas or Omegas usually feel other people’s pheromones?”
“Usually, people use pheromone masking, so they only feel them faintly. Though there are some people whose pheromones feel exceptionally strong.”
“I’ve never smelled anyone’s except yours. Maybe it’s because it’s not a heat cycle, but even with you, I only feel it when we’re this close. Do you have to be at this distance to feel it?”
“Not necessarily this close.”
“I guess I really am strange.”
“You’ll get used to it gradually, so don’t be too depressed.”
“Still, it sounds like I’m not normal. Father keeps nagging me about not being able to manage my pheromones.”
“Actually, that statement is a bit flawed, because it’s not like you consciously block your pheromones and then release them. While emitting pheromones is a matter of will, normally pheromone masking happens naturally without conscious effort. It’s just that during a heat cycle, it becomes uncontrollable and causes trouble. Right now, it seems your natural regulation is broken, so to a stranger, it’s easy to misunderstand it as you emitting pheromones to seduce them.”
“Broken? What am I, a machine?”
“I’m saying it’ll become natural, so don’t be impatient.”
“That was actually a bit comforting. You really are kind.”
I praised him while sucking on the nape of Kwon Yi-kang’s neck, and he only let out a low chuckle. Leisurely stroking the back of my neck as I licked him like a dog, Kwon Yi-kang tilted his neck far back. The veins protruding on his exposed neck looked appetizing, and when I bit down slightly with my teeth, a faint moan escaped him.
Kwon Yi-kang’s usual voice was great, but the moan that leaked out as he scraped his throat low was also wonderful. It was a sound that incited arousal.
As if stepping backward, I moved my body back and lowered my face from Kwon Yi-kang’s neck to his chest. His broad chest was firm, and clear abdominal muscles were etched like a painting across his stomach.
I wanted a body like this.
Slowly stroking his abs as if feeling the hardness, I took the protruding nipple on his chest into my mouth. I flickered my tongue playfully before pursing my lips and sucking hard. The man’s hand holding the back of my neck tightened slightly.
Like a puppy sucking mother’s milk, I sucked the nipple with pursed lips and toyed with the other breast with my fingers. Seeing the nipple turn red from the heat, I chuckled softly.
“Can I suck the bottom too?”
“If you want.”
At the light consent, I moved further back. With the erect member standing right before my eyes, I took a moment to gaze at it.
“This situation is a bit embarrassing.”
“What is?”
“The situation where someone is staring intently at my lower half?”
“Your cock is handsome too, so I looked because I was jealous.”
Ah, I’m jealous.
Slurp. After smacking my lips, I opened my mouth and moved it side to side as if warming up. Kwon Yi-kang, who had been looking down, asked in a voice laced with amusement.
“What are you doing?”
“Mouth exercises. It’d be too much to just put it in. It’s too big, way too big.”
“You really are…”
Kwon Yi-kang chuckled, covering his eyes with his hand. Feeling that I was sufficiently prepared, I took the tip of the member before me into my mouth.
There was less resistance than I expected, and strangely, it was arousing. I really am an Omega. To think I’d suck someone else’s cock so casually and even get turned on. I’ve come to realize my situation clearly.
Like a child who had obtained a new toy, I gripped Kwon Yi-kang’s member in my hand, biting and sucking it here and there. I sucked the glans in my mouth, and I tried sucking the sides of the shaft as if playing a harmonica. In that way, the entire member became glistening with saliva, and I opened my mouth wide to slowly swallow the weapon-like object.
As expected, putting it in all the way was impossible. Even though the glans touched and rubbed the back of my throat, there was still a significant portion held in my hand.
Pursing my lips, I slowly spat out the member and then took it back in, sweeping the foreskin. As I tightened the back of my throat as if swallowing air, a faint moan escaped from above my head. After sucking the member in a similar fashion a few more times, I spat it out.
“Does it feel good?”
“Not bad.”
A hand came down as if praising me and stroked the crown of my head. Feeling the light touch, I lifted the member I was holding and looked at the testicles beneath it. Something that was no longer attached to me. Not only the member, but even the testicles were large.
Swallowing my saliva as if looking at a delicious piece of candy, I stuck out my tongue and poked the wrinkled objects. They looked luscious, like ripe fruit.
Opening my lips, I took one testicle into my mouth and sucked. I rolled the bead that filled my mouth around before spitting it out and swallowing the other testicle to suck on it. After I spent quite a while with my nose buried, sucking the testicles, Kwon Yi-kang reached out and pulled my face away.
“I feel like my lower half is about to fall off.”
“I don’t have them. I’m jealous.”
“There’s a lot to be jealous of.”
“Right. It would have been great if I had a body like yours. This body is small, the cock is small, and it doesn’t even have testicles. It’s a total disappointment.”
“Isn’t that something you can’t choose?”
True. If anyone heard that, they’d think I chose to enter this body. My heart stung at the occasional slip of the tongue. I really need to be careful about this.
“Shall we put it in now?”
“It’s not a matter of just having my equipment grown.”
Kwon Yi-kang lifted my body, laid me on the bed, and met my lips. The soft, sucking flesh always felt good. I laughed with a nasal sound, and he made chup-chup noises, kissing me by pressing and releasing his lips.
“Lick it.”
Kwon Yi-kang said, pressing his finger against my lips. I opened my mouth and bit his finger, and Kwon Yi-kang turned his head to rub his lips against my neck.
His long, straight fingers were also thick. Just as I had sucked his member, I slowly licked his finger and wrapped my tongue around it to suck.
As I tightened and released my grip on the finger that went deep into my mouth and came back out, coating it in saliva, another finger pushed into my mouth. Holding my jaw with his remaining fingers and inserting and removing his fingers in a stable posture, Kwon Yi-kang eventually withdrew his hand.
Licking my lips, which were wet from the saliva, I looked up at him with eyes that had already grown hazy.
“Spread your legs. I need to loosen you up.”
My body trembled at the further lowered tone of his voice. Not knowing what he was about to do, I spread my thighs in a state of slight tension, and Kwon Yi-kang, lowering his hand through the gap, pushed wet fingers between the crease of my buttocks.
“Ah…”
“Relax. I’m trying to make sure it doesn’t hurt.”
Kwon Yi-kang whispered in a low voice, rubbing his lips against my cheek.
Wet fingertips fumbled around the tightly closed, wrinkled hole. The fingers, which had spent time slowly pressing and rubbing the wrinkles, slightly penetrated the hole. The finger pushed into the hole as the entrance gasped open.
“Ah, it hurts.”
“It shouldn’t be at the point of hurting yet.”
Kwon Yi-kang lightly bit and released my cheek, as if saying I was exaggerating. As he said, it wasn’t exactly painful, but it was true that I was momentarily startled by the finger invading my dry hole.
The finger that had pushed into the tight hole slowly moved back and forth, mimicking the act of intercourse. With my legs spread, I felt the movement of the finger entering and exiting. It pushed in while pressing firmly against the inner wall, and occasionally bent to stimulate a certain spot.
“Since it’s not a heat cycle, it takes a bit longer to get wet. If I don’t loosen you up this much, I won’t even be able to put it in.”
“You must have done this a lot. You know it well?”
“That’s not something to ask while on the bed.”
“I’m just curious.”
“Even if you’re curious, it’s polite to let it slide.”
“Is it polite to bury the existence of past sex partners?”
“Yes. So why don’t you focus on me?”
“I’ve been focusing on you this whole time. This is my own way of showing interest in you.”
I pouted, expressing my unfairness, but Kwon Yi-kang seemed to think differently, nibbling on my pouting lips.
After the fingers that had poked inside a few more times withdrew, Kwon Yi-kang lowered his lower body between my thighs. With my legs draped over his waist and the tip of his erect member aligned with the exposed entrance, he slowly pressed the glans to attempt insertion.
Indeed, my mind was clearer than during the heat cycle, and the sensation from below was tighter. I frowned slightly at the dull ache as the raw flesh stretched, and Kwon Yi-kang kissed my lips, chin, and neck as if to soothe me.
“Mmm…”
I swallowed a moan, trying to endure the foreign sensation, and grabbed Kwon Yi-kang’s forearm. As I stroked up the arm muscles where veins protruded, his arms, which were supporting him on the bed, tightened further.
The object that had pushed in endlessly finally stopped moving once it completely filled the hole. I let out a sigh, rubbing my bloated stomach, and Kwon Yi-kang wiped the sweat on his forehead against the pillow.
“We haven’t even started yet, so why are you struggling so much?”
When he asked as if it were absurd, Kwon Yi-kang looked down at me with an even more absurd expression.
“I’m starting to get a bit angry because you have a face that doesn’t know how much I’m holding back and enduring right now. If I had just shoved it in according to my temper, who do you think would be struggling right now?”
“…I’ll reflect on that.”
Quickly catching the underlying meaning, I apologized promptly. The lips that met mine swept through my mouth roughly as if venting anger, but soon became soft. I smiled, noticing the change, and Kwon Yi-kang only let out a hollow laugh.
The member, which had paused for a moment, began to move slowly. My body swayed like a wave as the object slowly withdrew and carefully entered. I lay there leisurely, feeling the movement.
Although it was still uncomfortable, Kwon Yi-kang’s consideration was conveyed through the cautious, kind, and soft movements.
“Every time you push in, it feels like this spot is being pressed.”
When I spoke while pressing one side of my stomach with my hand, the object inside surged once. When I looked up at Kwon Yi-kang with rounded eyes, he was gritting his teeth with his brow deeply furrowed.
“Stop stimulating me.”
“Yours is so big that it feels like it’s poking all the way to my stomach.”
“I told you to stop.”
As if scolding me, he blocked my lips with a kiss and twisted my nipple with his hand. It hurts. I shrugged my shoulders and tensed up, and a suppressed moan flowed from the lips we shared.
As if he wouldn’t give me a chance to speak, our pressed lips did not part. Saliva exchanged, and tongues tangled chaotically. The movement of the tongue sweeping and sucking the inner flesh of the lips was messy.
The touch of the hand gripping my chest and tormenting my nipple became even more persistent. At the tingling stimulation coming from the small bead, my member stood straight up.
“I… I can’t breathe.”
“You have to breathe through your nose.”
Kwon Yi-kang chided me, lightly biting and releasing the flesh above my cheekbone.
The object pushing into my lower half remained kind. As if exploring every part of the inner wall, it swept through without missing a spot, pressing here and there. The legs that had been loosely wrapped around Kwon Yi-kang’s waist and shaking suddenly tightened, squeezing his waist the moment a certain spot was stimulated.
“Ah, ahh… just now, there, the feeling… ah…”
A spark flashed before my eyes. I cried out in surprise, and Kwon Yi-kang quickly pressed and rubbed the spot he had just touched with his member.
“Aah, ah… wa-wait… haaaah…”
I clung to Kwon Yi-kang’s neck, my body trembling violently as I strained. It was an incredibly strange sensation. With my muscles tensing and the feeling that I was about to ejaculate at any moment, I let out a choked sound and slapped Kwon Yi-kang’s back.
“Wait, just a second….”
“You like it here?”
Asking in a mischievous tone, Kwon Yi-kang gripped my fully erect member and rubbed it. Overwhelmed by the stimulation coming from both front and back, I couldn’t utter a word and hurriedly spurted out a thin fluid.
As I shook my member in Kwon Yi-kang’s grip to expel the remaining residue, I released the arms that had been holding his neck. My strength vanished, and my body flopped onto the bed.
My chest, swollen with excitement, heaved up and down. I took deep breaths, recalling the stimulation from a moment ago. It was overwhelming. As I trembled and hunched my shoulders, Kwon Yi-kang’s large frame enveloped me as if pouncing.
“Were you surprised?”
“…I’m not talking.”
“You must have been surprised. Right?”
As if soothing me, he slowly stroked my back with his large hand and kissed the nape of my neck. Under his gentle touch and affectionate kiss, I let out a long breath and barely managed to uncurl my shoulders.
“Your mouth is so bratty, but your reactions are so innocent. I don’t know which side to cater to.”
“Stop teasing me.”
I scolded him while hitting his shoulder, but I knew that action was merely an act of spoiledness.
It’s strange. In front of this man, I keep acting like a child, acting spoiled, and whining. I have always taken it for granted that I must stand and support myself alone, but in front of Kwon Yi-kang, I act like a different person. I was almost bewildered by how I behaved—immature and foolish, like an ordinary twenty-year-old.