#148

‘Damn it, he thinks the very fact that I’m explaining is an excuse!’

“This is the Capital Church, and you are under the protection of the Saintess. If you truly felt threatened by Marcello Teres, you could have requested that he be condemned. However, you did not.”

“That’s….”

“I am curious as to why.”

How should I explain this?

As I struggled to organize my thoughts, a window flickered before my eyes.

>> So when are you coming?

>> Hmm, thinking about it, it’d be better if I just go.

>> Wait.

‘No!’

I had to reply to Pandemonium immediately, telling him not to come right now.

But if I did, I’d be caught revealing that players can communicate with each other.

‘No, before that….’

I slowly shifted my eyes to look at Athanas.

Athanas’s deep blue eyes were staring intently at me.

‘Shit.’

At this distance, what were the odds that Athanas wouldn’t find the movement of my pupils strange?

“Athanas….”

Athanas had never pressed me when I said I didn’t want to talk about something, but that wasn’t because he trusted me.

Rather, it was because he didn’t trust me; since it was obvious I would just make up lies to cover it up, he didn’t bother asking.

If he felt my current words were suspicious, he would try to find out for himself.

I had to prevent that at all costs.

“The explanation—I’ll explain everything, so could you please wait a moment?”

“…Of course.”

“Um, I might act a bit strange, but I swear it won’t be anything harmful to Order or to you. Just for a moment, just a very short moment, please wait.”

I gripped Athanas’s hand tightly and sent him a desperate look.

Athanas nodded with a slightly reluctant expression.

‘…Thank god chat only transmits text.’

With trembling hands, I typed out the letters.

[Wow, you petty bastard, you’re actually coming back to retrieve it?]

[I told you to take it back if you were going to whine, and look at you, actually saying you’ll take it]

>> ?? What’s with you

[Saying ‘take it back if you’re going to’ means DON’T do it, you idiot]

[You low-social-skill loser who doesn’t fit into a high-context language]

[Did you not raise your Intelligence stat here?]

>> So what. You don’t want me to take it?

>> No, if you liked it, just be honest and say thank you

>> Stop grumbling about who told me to give it to you

[Hey, you fucker, if you’d just given it normally, I would’ve said thanks]

[You’re ignoring the part where you screwed me over?]

[Sigh, I broke a sweat trying to explain things to Elamin]

>> Who the hell is Elamin

[That NPC at the door, the one with the beard and black hair]

>> Ah… that Chanter?

>> You close with that guy?]

[Watch your mouth, fucker, he’s the husband of the Inquisition’s Knight Commander]

[If I hadn’t explained that nothing coercive happened, you would’ve been under investigation by the Inquisition]

>> ?? Why me

[Because there are strangulation marks on your neck, you piece of shit]

[Thinking back, it’s so embarrassing]

>> …Bro, what’s your durability?

[25]

>> 25?

>> How can a person’s durability be 25?

>> Even a water-peach would be firmer than that

>> If you punch a water-peach, wouldn’t your knuckles bruise?

>> You’d get absolutely wrecked in a fight with a hard-peach

[You son of a bitch]

Even while tapping the keyboard, I kept checking on Athanas.

Athanas stood still with an expression that made it impossible to tell what he was thinking.

Every time our eyes met, I flinched, so eventually, he began to subtly avoid my gaze—which made me feel even more burdened by his consideration.

[Anyway, I couldn’t fully persuade him, so if you come back, Elamin will probably go to Commander Casimir saying he’s worried]

[Unless you want to write a statement like ‘I had a pleasant fainting game with a Chanter I’ve never met’ in front of the Inquisition’s Knight Commander, don’t come here]

[Got it?]

>> k

>> lol I’ll just write it if they tell me to

>> I… did not know… a human could be… so fragile….

[That’s the narration that plays when a psychic killer realizes for the first time that killing people is no big deal after their first murder]

[Stop joking around]

[I’m serious]

>> ok ok

>> Got it

‘…I think I’ve managed to pass this over naturally.’

I closed the chat window and turned back to Athanas.

Thinking about how to explain this made me feel a bit overwhelmed.

‘From Athanas’s perspective, it must have looked like I was just staring into thin air and waving my fingers around.’

“What I just did was….”

‘No, before that, should I reveal what my relationship with Pandemonium is?’

That we were close to begin with?

If he asks when ‘to begin with’ was….

“If it is difficult, you do not have to explain.”

“No! I have no intention of hiding anything from you. It’s just a bit complicated, so I’m thinking it through. I can explain. I’ll tell you, so just give me a little more time….”

“…Are you afraid that I might harm Marcello Teres?”

“Huh?”

‘What is he talking about.’

“Or, I would like you to explain why you seem so terrified.”

I was slightly dumbfounded.

‘Where does Athanas get this baseless confidence from?’

Does he think all ‘players’ are a joke because Reyes was neutralized so effortlessly?

“Athanas, the one I’m worried about is you!”

Athanas’s eyes widened slightly.

“Why am I terrified? Because I’m afraid you won’t believe me!”

“…Do you think I will condemn you?”

“No! That’s not it. If you don’t believe me, you’ll decide to verify things yourself. And I’m afraid you’ll get seriously hurt in the process….”

‘To be precise, I’m afraid you’ll die.’

“…That’s what I’m afraid of.”

The War God is obsessed with 1-on-1 duels.

He probably gave him several broken traits.

A duel between a player using cheat keys and a mere Holy Knight.

Anyone can see Athanas would lose.

Not just lose, but definitely die.

“The Acting Family Head of the Teres family is a Watched One. And he has the means to escape and avoid the Apostle’s Condemnation.”

“If that is the case….”

“Please listen to me until the end. There isn’t just one Watched One in this Capital Church. Even if you condemn Pan—no, Marcello, the problem won’t be solved. The most dangerous ones will actually act more cunningly after seeing what happened to Marcello.”

Although he’d become a bit of a sociopath because the War God messed with his head, he was still the most trustworthy player in this situation.

What if Pandemonium gets a Game Over?

I’d lose any way of knowing what Nyapoleon or Insanity are plotting.

“Marcello Teres is not on the side of Order. He… unlike me, is moving for the sake of the Watched Ones. He may have already committed several crimes worthy of condemnation, and if left alone, he will commit more. But he must not be condemned now.”

I poured out my words incoherently.

“I know how my words must sound. It probably feels like I’m lying to defend him. You’ll be suspicious of our relationship. In fact, I do know him. I didn’t recognize him when we first met, but I knew after talking to him. He was….”

I closed my mouth, then opened it again.

“…He was like a younger brother to me. So, honestly, I feel sorry for him. If I had the power, I would have tried to save him somehow.”

Athanas asked me.

“Do you believe that if one lacks power, they must give up on salvation?”

“…To save someone drowning, you must know how to swim. Jumping in to save someone without knowing how to swim isn’t courage; it’s just foolishness.”

“And so, can you stand by on the shore and simply watch someone die?”

Those deep blue eyes stared at me.

How should I answer?

I recalled the Doctrine of Order. I reviewed the things Athanas usually said.

What would be the right answer here? The answer Athanas wants is….

“Please answer honestly.”

I squeezed my eyes shut.

“…When something like that truly happens, I will just watch from a distance. I’m a coward. Nothing is more important to me than my own life. And while doing so, I’ll probably think it’s a relief that I can’t swim. Because then I have an excuse. That I didn’t save them not because I chose not to, but because I couldn’t….”

“The person I see in you is someone who would jump in even without knowing how to swim, because they couldn’t bear to watch.”

Athanas talked nonsense.

What does he know about me?

“I am not a fool.”

“I did not mean you were foolish….”

“If I were the only one to die by doing such a thing, that would be one thing, but if I felt that others would jump in because of me, I would never enter the water.”

Unless you’re the protagonist of a shonen manga, you can’t save everyone in a situation where you’re forced to choose.

No, even shonen protagonists fail a few times.

That’s how they experience loss and power up.

But I’m not that kind of protagonist; if I make a reckless choice, I’ll only lose many things.

Then, what I must prioritize is….

“Fabio.”

Athanas gently enveloped my hand.

As I felt his warm body temperature, my trembling subsided slightly.

I slowly opened my eyes.

There was no sign of reproach in Athanas’s gaze as he looked at me.

Rather….

‘…He looks damn exhausted.’

Was it my imagination, or did he look like he could collapse and fall asleep at any moment?

“I do not doubt your choice. What happened, and why you made such a judgment….”

Athanas slowly continued.

“…And if you tell me how you want me to think of Marcello Teres, I will follow your word.”

“Really?”

But why?

There’s no need for him to accept my words to that extent.

Thinking from Athanas’s perspective….

“Fabio. I am not the Savior of Order right now.”

“Huh? What do you mean by….”

“Unlike the nightmare I had, Order has not collapsed yet.”

…And?

“It means we are not in a situation where I must sacrifice my life to kill even one more heretic before my eyes. Order is intact, and there are many Condemners of Order stronger than I. What is needed now is information. Where the blade of condemnation should be pointed. That is what I wish to know.”

“Marcello is….”

“You said it. That there are those more dangerous than him.”

‘Is he saying he’ll push the order back?’

Still, it’s better than nothing.

From Athanas’s point of view, he was exercising great tolerance.

“Of course, this does not mean I will follow your words unconditionally. I say this because I believe you made this judgment for the sake of Order and to correct a greater evil.”

“…I know.”

The moment I betray Order, Athanas will condemn me without hesitation.

‘Still, I’m glad he doesn’t seem to have any intention of seeking out Pandemonium immediately.’

The tension released.

Perhaps because the adrenaline and cortisol had vanished, the strength left my body.

Feeling a bit dizzy, I staggered and sat on the bed.

“…Are your eyes uncomfortable?”

“Huh? No. I’m just a bit tired.”

Is it a migraine?

My head felt heavy.

I must have been very tense because of the Pandemonium situation.

“Or maybe it’s because it’s dry….”

I tried to rub my eyes, but Athanas blocked me by covering my eyes with his hand.

“…If you are tired, it would be best to sleep for a while. I will hear the explanation then.”

“Haha, it looks like you’re the one who needs to sleep right now, not me.”

I’ve always wondered what he does to be so tired.

“Is knight training that grueling?”

“…Rather than that, it is a side effect.”

“What side effect? The, the reliquary’s?”

“Yes. While wearing it, it prevents Oblivion and other mental interference, but in exchange, there is a side effect where the required sleep time increases.”

‘…Does the System like the ‘Sleeping Athanas’ meme?’

“So that’s why you usually don’t wear it….”

I had been meaning to ask.

Since Athanas was covering my eyes, I somehow felt a yawn coming on.

“Then the explanation… can I do it after I wake up?”

Athanas replied that I could.

Probably.