#147

Suddenly, I remembered something Reyes had said.

That the most terrifying Distortion is when you know it’s the influence of a ‘Distortion’ and you know there’s a way to reverse it, but you simply no longer want to.

I stared blankly at my left hand.

If I became able to look at a writhing mass of maggots without an instinctive sense of disgust?

Would I want to go back to how I was before?

Or would I think the time I spent suffering from meaningless fear over nothing was just foolish?

‘But if the current me saw the me of the past receiving the Blessing of Healing without hesitation, I’d feel a sense of repulsion.’

Well, by that logic, the current me would be an existence that the middle-school version of me would not only feel repulsion toward, but utter contempt for.

Back then, pride was all I had.

If I tried to tell him that it’s easier once you throw that away, and that he’ll understand as he lives…

‘He’d probably just decide he’d rather die than grow up to be a boomer like that.’

I’m just glad I grew out of my eighth-grade syndrome in time.

The chat window flickered before my eyes.

>> Hyung

>> Anyway, stay away from the Heretic Butcher

>> Seriously

‘…What the hell is this guy talking about now?’

Didn’t I already explain?

That Athanas is the insurance I’ve set up.

>> You have to be careful at least until the Council is over

>> Other players might come to see the protagonist of ‘Die Heretic!’ and spot you.

>> And what if that player is Bonaparte or Insanity?

I started to type a response asking if he’d even listened to me, but then I deleted it.

‘He has a point.’

As for Insanity… I still don’t know what kind of bastard he is.

But I definitely need to avoid Nyapoleon.

If a Mother God Player sees me and a ‘Quest Complete’ notification pops up immediately…

‘I’m fucking screwed.’

[OK OK]

[Got it]

[But when does the Council end?]

[Give me a rough idea so I can stay holed up in my room until then.]

>> I don’t know

[?]

[Why don’t you know? You said you guys are the ones leading it.]

>> I’m not the one ending it, so I don’t know

>> Still, it’ll be over before the 4th Season

>> Probably

I wondered if he really didn’t know, or if he just didn’t want to give me the information.

I narrowed my eyes at the chat window.

‘…I’ll have to investigate the Council separately.’

The only things I knew were what Nasir had told me.

He said that if half of the electors agree, a Council can be proclaimed, and the main meeting is held if more than half of the archbishops attend.

Seeing how important the seats are, it seems to proceed by vote…

‘I need to find out the conditions for stopping a vote or the requirements for adjourning the Council.’

>> By the way, Hyung

>> What’s inside the Heretic Butcher’s reliquary?

[…Why are you asking that?]

>> I was wondering if a part of you is in there.

[Fuck, stop saying such horrific things. Do you think I’m crazy enough to mutilate myself?]

>> Then is it empty? It’d be obvious if nothing was inside.

[He probably put sand in it or something.]

>> haha

>> Got it

>> Then what about your reliquary?

>> What’s inside that?

>> Which part of the Heretic Butcher?

“Fuck.”

A curse escaped my lips instinctively.

Does he really have to ask that?

He almost hanged me because I didn’t give it to him, and now he’s asking?

[I don’t know]

[Who cares, don’t ask, you piece of shit]

[You fucking bastard]

>> ??

>> Suddenly?

>> Why the swearing?

[Fuck, I was seriously terrified]

[I just want to forget that incident, so don’t even let words that remind me of it cross your lips]

[I don’t want to reinforce that memory by bringing it up]

[Just let the synaptic connections naturally annihilate]

>> lolololol

‘…He’s laughing?’

>> lolololololol

>> L-lol, that’s funny

>> Hyung, you were really scared, huh?

>> haha sry

>> But it’s normal to be scared

>> Plenty of people piss themselves

>> You held it in well for your level

>> FR

>> You don’t have to be that embarrassed about crying a little bit, lol

‘…….’

>> Hmm

>> No answer

>> Did you perhaps not hold it in…?

>> haha;

[I didn’t piss myself, you piece of shit]

>> So you didn’t go out and change your underwear?

‘This fucking bastard.’

>> lolololol

>> I’ll believe you

>> haha

>> Ah lol, now that I think about it, it’s hilarious

>> Hyung, you used formal speech just to pretend you didn’t know me lol

>> “Niceㅋㅋtoㅋㅋmeetㅋㅋyou” lolol

>> lolololol

>> Wow, so you didn’t drop the formalities because you knew who I was? Because you didn’t want to call me Hyung?

>> You could’ve just done it once

>> It would’ve been funny

>> What a waste

>> haha

The more I looked at the chat window, the colder my fingertips became.

This piece of shit…

‘Does he really think this is a joke?’

>> But I’m actually kinda hurt

>> Hyung

>> If I hadn’t clung to you, were you going to pretend not to know me until the end?

>> Seriously?

I tried my best to take a deep breath.

Yes, this bastard has no malice.

Probably.

It’s definitely because the War God messed with something.

‘Did he touch the mirror neurons? Or the amygdala?’

It’s probably the amygdala.

A human stripped of fear and terror would be able to kill a trembling person without hesitation.

A person cannot ’empathize’ with an emotion they cannot feel.

That’s why he doesn’t understand how that incident felt to me…

>> Sigh, I really looked for you everywhere…

>> Just once

>> Just once, please call my name

‘What the fuck are you trusting, you bastard.’

If it weren’t for the Saintess’s Sacred Relic, he might have said, ‘Fuck, Hyung, why are you on an alt account? Sigh, so useless… Just die for a bit so you’re not in the way.’

Thinking he’d revive me later.

And then he’d probably forget to revive me because he’s such a fucker.

Since his body, mind, and soul would have completely turned into something like an Othergod by then.

>> Hyung

>> Did you not think about me at all?

[Of course I thought about you a lot]

>> ?

>> W

>> What were you thinking?

[I thought, ‘If he finds out I became a serf, he’s gonna tease me so fucking much, I’ll have to hide for the rest of my life’]

[‘I must never let him find out, even if I die’]

[That’s what I was thinking]

For a moment, there was no reply.

>> …Wow

>> Fuck

>> lol seriously fuck

>> Hyung, you’re a real piece of shit

[Yeah, introducing yourself?]

[The piece of shit is you]

>> Hyung is really…

‘Still, acting like this, he seems like the Pandemonium I know.’

It felt strange to be typing on a virtual keyboard in a quiet room.

How should I put it.

All of this is fake…

‘…Am I actually in my room right now wearing a VR headset?’

And I could return to reality just by taking off the display.

Haha.

I laughed out loud, then shut my mouth at the sound of the unfamiliar laughter.

[Actually, I missed you a lot]

[FR]

[Seriously]

>> What were you thinking?

[I wondered if that loser was eating well, since there aren’t even any kiosks here]

[Our loser is the type to wither and die if he can’t get electromagnetic waves…]

[There’s probably no one here who understands stories about the Germanship War]

[I wondered what would happen if that loser forgot how to speak because Hyung wasn’t around]

>> lol

>> lololol

>> lolololololol

>> Sigh, I’ll let it slide just this once

[?]

[Let what slide?]

[What were you going to do if you didn’t let it slide?]

>> I was just putting on clothes to come find you lol

‘…To do what?’

To have a real-life fight with a scrawny serf with 30 strength?

‘This fucking despicable bastard.’

A total piece of shit who only fights battles he can win.

A pathetic loser who pulls the power plug on the computer if he thinks he’s going to lose to a bot.

A total loser who can’t stand a 99.9% win rate in Minesweeper and resets his records if he makes one mistake.

Once, he lost a board game he brought himself eighteen times in a row, turned beet red, went to the bathroom, and didn’t come back for ten minutes.

‘He probably thought I couldn’t hear him if he closed the door.’

I remember him turning on the faucet and sobbing while swearing ‘fuck fuck fuck.’

After losing about ten rounds while pretending to be weak or unskilled, he’d bet ‘the winner gets a wish’ and go all out for the next round. Did he think I’d be startled and get crushed helplessly?

‘I think he’s watched too many mangas…’

Anyway, he’s a deficient bastard.

I wanted to launch a series of attacks with those dark memories, but since I was currently a fragile goblin and that guy was a max-level ogre, I decided to stay quiet.

[Yeah, thanks for sparing this small and fragile Hyung.]

>> haha

>> You know me well

‘You piece of shit.’

A guy who would tap out in one minute if we fought in real life.

>> Anyway, Hyung told me not to ask

>> But this is a problem I can’t just overlook

‘…What is he trying to say now?’

Suddenly, my heart began to race.

If I were wearing a smartwatch, a stress warning would definitely be popping up right now.

>> The Heretic Butcher knows your location, right?

>> Then do you know his location?

‘If I say I don’t know, he’ll be suspicious.’

The real-time location of a brainwashed Unit is extremely useful information.

Because I can check if the brainwashing worked properly and if they are executing my orders correctly.

Even if not, if it’s a cooperative relationship, it’s only fair to share location information.

[Of course I do]

I answered reflexively, but my mind became complicated.

‘I thought it was natural that only I was being tracked since he’s a Condemner of Order and I’m a heretic bastard…’

The pretext Athanas gave for providing this was protection, not surveillance.

‘…In that case, shouldn’t I also know Athanas’s location?’

Athanas probably doesn’t have anything he needs to hide from me.

Most of his day is training.

If he’s going around investigating something, wouldn’t it be better for me to know?

In case Athanas ever gets into danger…

‘Well, there’s not much I can actually do.’

Since there’s no way for me to know if Athanas is in danger, just not moving, or if he’s lost a Sacred Relic.

‘Still, it’s not like there’s no way to utilize it.’

They call it location tracking, but it’s essentially like having a means of communication.

With mutual location tracking, many signals can be exchanged.

For example, if I wanted to convey ‘There are no new instructions for tomorrow, so we don’t need to meet,’ I could walk in a figure-eight pattern like a honeybee at a set time.

Then the other person could send ‘OK, confirmed’ by walking in a circle.

That way, we wouldn’t need to meet every day without a specific reason, like we do now.

There are so many ways to utilize it that immediately come to mind…

‘…Why is Valentine acting like some God of Love?’

Even if you can’t help it because you’ll die if you stray too far from your essence.

If it were me, I would have changed my name to something like the God of Love and Communication and expanded my Domain like crazy.

>> Then where is Athanas right now?

‘Why do you want to know that?’

To go and kill him?

[I’m not telling you.]

>> Wow, f- I’m hurt

>> How could you?

>> I even gave you my only unique item

‘What a nuisance, acting like he did me a favor.’

Half of the reason he gave it to me was just to screw with me.

[If that’s the case, I’ll give it back right now]

>> OK, then you’re coming directly to where I am, right?

[? Shouldn’t you be the one to come out quietly and take it?]

>> I’ve got my retainers with me, so I’m busy. You should come.

[Getting the ring back is basically the same as being dumped. I’m trying to save you from total embarrassment.]

>> I don’t care haha

>> They’re just NPCs anyway

‘…With his personality, he’d actually find it more unbearable for NPCs—who aren’t even human—to misunderstand him.’

What is he thinking?

At that moment, I heard someone knocking on the door.

“Who is it?”

[…It’s me.]

‘Athanas?’

I was about to open the door quickly, but then I hesitated.

‘If I let Athanas in, I can’t chat with Pandemonium.’

But if I left Athanas standing outside the door…

[I would like an explanation for a moment.]

Hearing Athanas’s low voice made me break into a cold sweat.

‘Ignoring Pandemonium’s chat vs. Leaving Athanas waiting’

The scale tipped sharply to one side.

‘I must persuade Athanas first, no matter what!’

Even if Pandemonium gets pissed because I’m ignoring the chat, he won’t cause a huge scene.

He has to open the Council, and if a big commotion breaks out and an apostle steps in, his life could be in danger.

On the other hand, Athanas…

‘…Athanas breaks walls.’

Athanas likely thinks that I’ve ‘again’ become entangled in something related to heretics.

Moreover, I had just made the excuse to Pandemonium that I had brainwashed Athanas.

What would happen if Athanas encountered Pandemonium before I could explain everything?

‘Nothing but ruin.’

I flung the door wide open.

It was to show him that there was no one else inside but me.

“Athanas…”

As I was thinking about how to start the conversation, Athanas reached out first.

I flinched and stepped back.

A brief silence followed.

‘Fuck, last time he raised his hand and fired a crossbow, so of course I’m going to dodge.’

I laughed awkwardly.

“U-um, please come in first. I’ll explain.”

“…Yes.”

I locked the door and turned back to Athanas.

My stomach churned from the tension.

“I heard you were supposed to return in the afternoon…”

“…It would seem stranger for someone to continue training while their lover has received a proposal from another.”

‘He’s letting him off for something like that.’

The discipline is fucking lax.

“But has the rumor already reached that far?”

It’s not like there’s social media, yet the speed of transmission is fucking fast.

Is someone running around shouting ‘Extra! Extra!’ whenever an incident happens?

Athanas gazed at me intently.

“…Did the Acting Family Head of the Teres family attack you?”

“What? No. No way.”

“On your neck…”

‘Neck?’

Now that I think about it, Elamin did say something.

But I was so distracted by the chat from Pandemonium…

The moment I instinctively tried to cover my neck, Athanas lifted my chin with his fingertips.

“…There are strangulation marks.”

‘Fuck.’

I’m screwed.

As it is, my judgment is already being questioned because of yesterday’s incident with Reyes, with people saying I lack a sense of danger.

And now, I’ve been strangled today and I’m defending Pandemonium?

Anyone would conclude that I’ve lost my mind.

Cold sweat drenched my spine.

“Th-there was a misunderstanding.”

“You were strangled because of a misunderstanding.”

“It was really nothing. If something had actually happened, the Sacred Relic would have activated. It’s just a mark; it wasn’t actually dangerous at…”

“Fabio.”

At Athanas’s low voice, I involuntarily gulped.

“I do not wish for you to make excuses to me.”