#072

‘It’s not as if we’re ending things on a note where we’ll never meet again…’

To think he considered erasing his memories.

‘…I thought he would let his guard down a little if I told him I loved him.’

If he feared the bloodless and tearless Heretic Butcher, shouldn’t he feel a sense of relief upon seeing an ‘Athanas’ who had fallen in love?

Because it was proof that he possessed human emotions.

‘But in reality…’

His expression was as if he had seen something that should absolutely never happen.

Just as desperately as he had defended Athanas against being killed, he desperately denied that this could possibly be love.

‘…Is it because he must discard all such emotions to become a Savior?’

Fabio studied Athanas’s complexion and spoke in a slightly worried tone.

“You look exhausted right now… Are you alright?”

“…I am fine.”

“I feel like I woke you up for no reason. Looking at your face, I think you should sleep more.”

“No, thank you for waking me.”

“Come to think of it, what happened the day before yesterday?”

‘The day before yesterday?’

Athanas pondered for a moment before he could recall which day that referred to.

‘He means the day we first met.’

In Fabio’s memory, ‘the day before yesterday’ would be the day when a man who had been sleeping all day suddenly asked to be woken up. He had rejected the request to eat together.

Athanas reviewed their last conversation and replied.

“There was a bit of a problem, but I managed to get a chance to make up for it.”

“That’s a relief. However…”

Fabio hesitated for a moment before continuing.

“If it became a problem, shouldn’t you be more careful so you don’t make the same mistake? What would you have done if I couldn’t come today due to some circumstance and you slept here again?”

“But you did wake me up.”

“You just trusted me?”

“Yes.”

Fabio’s brow furrowed further.

“No, how many times have you seen me? You entrust something that important to someone you’ve barely exchanged a few words with, and you just trust and that’s it? How can a person be so reckless?”

Someone he’d barely exchanged a few words with.

Athanas tried to argue, but found himself speechless.

‘From Fabio’s perspective…’

On the first day, he woke up a person who had been sleeping all day out of curiosity, and that person suddenly brought up his own story and asked to be woken up tomorrow as well. He rejected the request to eat together.

The next day, he woke up a person who fell asleep immediately after a few greetings. He rejected the request to eat together.

The day after that, he woke up a person who was already asleep the moment he arrived.

‘…And then there is now.’

They truly hadn’t shared anything that could be called a conversation.

Many of the conversations Athanas remembered were merely words that, to the current Fabio, had ‘never been spoken.’

Interpreting Athanas’s silence as a lack of excuse, Fabio let out a small sigh.

“You look tired, so I won’t add anything more. For now, I will make sure to wake you up at the same time tomorrow. But you really must find another way.”

“…Thank you for your concern. You must have important appointments, and I’ve taken up too much of your time.”

“Did I say I had important appointments?”

Fabio looked at Athanas with a slightly suspicious gaze.

“…Every time I suggested a meal, you firmly rejected even sitting together, so I simply assumed. Since you refused without even saying it was okay once, I thought you always dine with someone important…”

Athanas rubbed the back of his neck, looking a bit awkward, and continued.

“Do you perhaps not have an appointment today?”

“No, I have one today as well.”

“I see. Then perhaps tomorrow…”

“The person I’ve promised to eat with consistently is uncomfortable with strangers. It would be difficult.”

“Is that so? I didn’t intend to make things difficult. It is fine if you refuse.”

“…Then I would prefer it if you didn’t ask again. I feel bad refusing every single time.”

“I understand.”

‘This is difficult.’

He could feel a strong will to never get close.

The only silver lining was that until Athanas confessed first, Fabio would never suspect that Athanas, a ‘man,’ would be interested in him in that way.

‘…Since he didn’t hesitate to choose Oblivion to erase his romantic feelings.’

It was better for him not to think in that direction for now.

At least he wouldn’t ask the apostle he was meeting today to use Oblivion, claiming there was someone making him uncomfortable…

“Wow, I’m screwed. What do I do.”

From beyond the bookshelves, someone’s muttered words pierced his ears clearly.

As Fabio turned his head in that direction, there was a sharp intake of breath—gasp—followed by the sound of books being flipped through frantically.

“Oh, goodness! The books are decaying and the letters are falling off! What to do! I have to transcribe all of this! I’m doomed, doomed!”

It was a monologue so awkward it was almost unbearable to listen to.

Fabio frowned slightly, but immediately relaxed his expression and looked back at Athanas.

“Anyway, I’ll be going. Athanas, enjoy your meal as well.”

Once Fabio left, the classmates who had been watching from the sidelines gathered around Athanas.

“Wow, I thought my heart was going to drop just now. Thank goodness I used my wits! He didn’t seem to notice anything strange, right?”

‘…Of course he didn’t.’

“Anyway, Athanas, what are you going to do? That guy seems really faithful to his Oathbound Partner.”

“Hey, be quiet. He already looks like he’s dying of heartbreak…”

“…I need some time alone right now.”

The classmates exchanged glances, nodded, and patted Athanas on the shoulder.

“In my opinion, it’s not completely impossible. The fact that he’s genuinely worried shows he cares about you.”

“Right. Anyway, he said he’d wake you up tomorrow too. If he had zero affection for you, he wouldn’t have agreed to the request in the first place. So don’t look so miserable.”

Athanas didn’t answer and simply waved them away.

He desperately needed time to organize his thoughts.

A throbbing pain flared behind his eyes, and Athanas closed them.

‘…At this rate, can I use Regression twice, or maybe just once?’

As his Health dropped, even if he forced himself to stay conscious, his reactions slowed and he made more mistakes.

During brief moments of relaxation, his consciousness would cut out for several seconds.

He could perform tasks he had planned in advance, but reacting nimbly was difficult.

‘Regardless, I must use Regression one more time.’

In the end, he had to ‘naturally’ stop Fabio and create a reason why he couldn’t go straight to the dining hall, and in the meantime, withdraw his classmates so that the sixth apostle would feel no incongruity.

‘Since this time failed…’

Athanas pondered.

Should he turn back time immediately?

Or…

‘…I should make the most of the opportunities I have.’

For the sake of saving him.

To do that, he must not fear crossing the line.

* * *

The metallic taste of blood lingered in his mouth.

‘…Athanas, there is no need to apologize repeatedly for such trivial matters. How will you apologize when you make a truly great mistake later?’

That kind voice he had just heard kept echoing in his head.

Athanas could not bring himself to answer those words.

Because that apology was for things that had not happened, and things that must not happen.

“What did you even do to get a nosebleed?”

“Right. You were perfectly fine this morning. How can you look like you’re dying in such a short time?”

The classmates bombarded him with questions as soon as they confirmed Fabio had left.

Athanas ignored the questions and brought up the necessary information first.

“I received another Revelation from Valentine. He warned that if the partner of today’s appointment notices the tailing, a catastrophe will occur.”

“What? That’s a huge problem! The others are probably already at the dining hall…”

“There is time. They’ll have to change their blood-stained clothes before going to the dining hall…”

“I’ll go right now!”

At the mention of an urgent Revelation, one classmate rushed out.

“…Did you make your nose bleed on purpose? For this?”

The remaining classmate asked hesitantly.

Athanas started to answer, but was too tired and simply nodded.

“Wow…”

‘I must wait for another hour and confirm that absolutely nothing has happened.’

His eyes felt gritty, as if grains of sand were rolling inside them, and he seemed to hear a ringing in his ears.

Athanas took a handkerchief from his pocket, moistened it with water from his canteen, and wiped his face.

‘…After that, I can take a rest.’

The moment he relaxed, he felt as if he would plunge straight into a mire of sleep.

“Athanas, you really…”

“…Do you have something to say?”

“No, it’s nothing. I just thought that Valentine truly cherishes you.”

“Why do you think so?”

“Well… because He is supporting your love to this extent?”

‘…I shouldn’t overuse the word Revelation.’

If word spread through the Capital Church that there was a love so supported that Valentine issued three Revelations, people would inevitably seek to verify the truth.

“You really ought to offer a good sacrifice to Valentine. Who knows? Valentine might be moved by your sincerity and provide an opportunity for you to get closer to your destined partner.”

Despite his fatigue, Athanas considered the suggestion.

Certainly, while using ‘Valentine’s Revelation’ as an excuse, it would look natural to show devotion to Valentine.

“…I almost missed something important. Thank you for reminding me. I shall make a donation today.”

“How much are you going to give?”

‘I have to look sincere…’

“Half of the money I have.”

“What? Don’t you save almost everything you get from your salary? That’s quite a sum.”

“I would give it all to win love. However, if I did, I would have no way to express my gratitude once it is achieved, so I am leaving half behind.”

“…You’re truly desperate.”

Rather than being desperate, he simply had to appear desperate.

Athanas didn’t even expect Valentine to step in personally.

After all, he had made up the Revelations himself.

* * *

And the next day.

“Um… I don’t have a lunch appointment… today.”

Seeing Fabio, whose ears had turned bright red, Athanas was momentarily confused.

“…I see.”

“Are you… not going to invite me today?”

“Ah.”

‘…Was I supposed to make a donation instead of using Regression?’

Chapter 73