#070

“I have [Regression]. I was hiding it because I was afraid of you, but…”

Fabio’s mouth hung open.

Then, he suddenly smacked his forehead repeatedly and let out a sound like a scream.

“Aaaagh! Fuck!”

“Fabio?”

“Regression! You had Regression! That’s why you could be so calm!”

“Fabio, right now…”

“Yes, I knew I wasn’t crazy! Fuck! I almost fell for the gaslighting!”

“The time…”

“Wow, you crazy bastard!”

“…Am I crazy?”

“Of course you are! Fuck! You got stabbed, and you held out without turning back time just to get more information—if that’s not crazy, what is? I mean, does it not hurt? Is it bearable?”

“…It hurts like hell, but since I’d have to be stabbed again if I didn’t get an answer, I am enduring it.”

“Wow…”

This guy really is a lunatic. Fabio let out a hollow laugh.

“Fine, so you have Regression. In that case, I guess I should answer. Otherwise, you’ll just keep repeating this madness until you get an answer. Right?”

Before Athanas could respond, Fabio continued.

“You asked why I was afraid? Because Athanas, you’re a crazy Heretic Butcher! A highly efficient Heretic Inquisitor who kills people without hesitation! Just look at what you’re doing right now—something no sane person would even dream of! How could a heretic who hasn’t even received the Blessing of Order not be terrified in front of that?”

“…Am I in a position where I must kill you?”

“Must you kill me? Normally, yes. That’s what a Watched One is, isn’t it? An Apostle of the Evil God chosen to destroy the world and collapse Order.”

“Are you…”

“Asking if I’ll destroy the world? No way! Are you crazy? Why would I do that? I don’t want to die! And I don’t want to believe in some strange god! That’s why I came to the Church of Order of my own accord. I told them I wouldn’t do anything, just spare my life! I truly have no intention of doing anything. So Athanas, can’t you just ignore me? I’ll tell you everything you’re curious about right now. Please?”

Fabio spat the words out rapidly, barely pausing to breathe.

“No, really, I’m such a trivial fellow that you don’t even need to waste time and Health investigating me. Just think of me as an earthworm that will wither away and die if left alone!”

“If that is the case, why shouldn’t you cooperate with me? If I am truly a savior…”

Fabio frowned and opened his mouth, but no voice was heard.

No, all sound vanished instantaneously.

‘…He blocked my hearing.’

In any case, there was less than a minute remaining.

“The apostle has blocked my hearing. Fabio. I cannot hear what you are saying. Therefore, please look at me and speak. Will you not cooperate with me?”

Fabio crumpled his face, then looked directly at Athanas and mouthed a single word.

* * *

“Ah, you’re awake?”

Athanas lifted his head, feeling a slight sense of exhaustion.

It was the Branch Office.

Fabio was looking down at him.

“Thank goodness. I was worried you might not wake up. I have an important appointment today, so I have to leave quickly…”

“Fabio.”

“Yes?”

Athanas grabbed Fabio’s arm.

Fabio’s eyes widened in surprise.

“Why…”

Athanas fell silent, unable to continue.

There were too many things he wanted to ask.

But…

“Um… is there something you want to say?”

Athanas gazed silently at Fabio.

He could feel the pulse in the arm he was holding quickening.

“…I am sorry.”

“Huh? For what?”

It was a meaningless apology.

Athanas was the only one who remembered the time that had been turned back.

Nevertheless, Athanas wanted to apologize.

“…I am sorry for approaching you again even though you said you didn’t want to.”

“Um… are you perhaps still half-asleep?”

“But I truly need you.”

“Excuse me?”

“Just one hour… would you not listen to my story just once?”

‘If I reveal everything, he might at least talk to me.’

Athanas thought.

* * *

“Ah, you’re awake?”

“……”

Athanas stared blankly at Fabio.

“You look a bit tired; maybe it would have been better not to wake you? You didn’t tell me when to wake you up, so…”

“…No, thank you for waking me.”

“Then I’ll be going. I have an important appointment today…”

“Fabio.”

“Yes?”

“Could you listen to some of my worries for a moment?”

“…Didn’t I just say I have an important appointment?”

“It is a truly important matter.”

“No, I’m telling you I have an important appointment! Besides, why are you asking me for counseling…”

“I am conflicted over whether I should quit being a Holy Knight and leave this Capital Church.”

“What?”

Fabio looked at Athanas with surprised eyes.

“Wait, what? Why? Did something happen? Is it because of those people bullying you?”

“It is not that.”

“Then why…”

“…I have felt a fundamental skepticism toward the duties I must perform as the Sword of Judgment.”

“What kind of skepticism?”

“To carry out judgment, one must uncover things that people desperately try to hide. In that process, there are times when I must employ deception.”

“Deception…”

“I mean approaching someone while hiding my purpose, because they would not cooperate if I told them my goal.”

Fabio frowned.

“…Is that deception? From where I stand, it seems like the fault of the side that refused to cooperate. I mean, isn’t the act of hiding something from a Holy Knight proof that they have something to be guilty of in the first place? Then they are the ones who deceived first. If trying to avoid judgment after disturbing Order isn’t deception, then what is?”

Athanas was momentarily speechless.

“…There are unfortunate cases where it cannot be concluded so simply. People who would never have done such things if they had a choice…”

“Regardless, that person committed an act that deviated from Order, right? Then it must be corrected by any means necessary.”

“In that process, that person will be deeply wounded.”

“It’s unfortunate, but isn’t that something the other party must endure?”

“…Even if they were placed in such a situation without their own will?”

“Of course. They might not have chosen the situation, but the decision not to cooperate was their own will, wasn’t it?”

“I… I do not know.”

“What do you not know?”

“Whether it is acceptable for me to deceive and wound that person…”

Fabio wore an expression of utter disbelief.

“I mean, then would you just leave them be? You said it wasn’t a situation they wanted. Then you should judge them as quickly as possible so they can pay for their sins and enter the Embrace of Order. Isn’t that for their own good?”

“…Would it truly be so?”

“Then am I wrong? What on earth is bothering you?”

“I…”

Athanas trailed off.

“…I am afraid that once they learn the truth, they will be terribly frightened of me, hate me, and loathe me.”

And more than that…

“I am afraid that I will become so accustomed to such things that I will one day stop feeling that fear.”

As Athanas finished speaking, he looked up at Fabio.

Fabio had a complex expression that was difficult to describe.

“This is really…”

Fabio pulled over a chair and sat beside Athanas.

“…I understand why you want to quit being a Holy Knight.”

“Is that so?”

“It’s not that I don’t understand how you feel. In fact, I empathize quite a bit. Who likes being resented?”

Fabio cleared his throat.

“I don’t know why you brought up such an important topic to a nobody like me, but since I am a nobody, perhaps I can offer some humble advice.”

“I do not think you are a nobody.”

“Thank you for the kind words. But do you know? I actually quite like the fact that I’m not a great man.”

“Why is that?”

“Think about it. When chaos breaks out in a village, who do people seek answers from: the sage or the simpleton? Even if chaos breaks out a hundred times, they will seek the sage a hundred times. But no matter how wise a person is, they can be wrong once in a hundred. If that one piece of wrong advice caused immense damage, how do you think people would react? Would they understand that it happens?”

Fabio paused for a moment.

“…Honestly, I think more people would resent him. They’d criticize him, asking how he could give wrong advice when they trusted him as a sage. Wow, just thinking about it is exhausting, isn’t it? Even if you do well ninety-nine times, you get cursed for the one mistake. But what about the simpleton? No one seeks advice from a simpleton, but even if they do, the simpleton isn’t the one who gets cursed. ‘Who would seek advice from a simpleton? What an idiot!’ Looking at it this way, isn’t the life of an ignorant man much more peaceful?”

“…Perhaps so.”

“But think about it the other way. Why is a simpleton called a simpleton? It’s because there are people smarter than him around. But if that peaceful simpleton happens to end up in a village where everyone is even stupider than he is, he becomes the smartest person there. Then, when chaos breaks out, everyone will come to that simpleton and ask, ‘O Sage, what should we do now?’”

“So…”

“Do you see the lesson of this story?”

Fabio continued without waiting for Athanas’s answer.

“The village keeps running whether you are there or not. Athanas, if you want to quit, then quit. Someone else will do your share of the work. That person will do the deceiving, that person will inflict the wounds, and that person will hear the resentment.”

“…Are you saying that quitting is an evasion of responsibility?”

“Honestly, yes, that’s correct. But if you can’t endure it, isn’t it better to evade it?”

“But the work I am assigned is not something that can be passed off to another.”

“There is nothing in this world that only you can do. What if you die in an accident? Does that mean no one can respond and everything just collapses?”

“…That might be the case.”

“Then well, it collapsed because it was meant to collapse. Isn’t that right?”

Athanas gazed at Fabio in silence.

71 – #071