#065

Even if Athanas was a noble soul with no intention of getting close to people, those bastards would have been red-eyed with desperation to conquer him somehow. Yet, they just left Athanas alone while he was clinging to anyone out of loneliness?

‘That makes no sense.’

Of course, by some incredible coincidence, it could be that only players who didn’t particularly like Athanas had possessed the characters.

But still, if they were the type to possess a character, they had to be hardcore veterans.

‘How could they resist grinding affection with a main character?’

If I hadn’t possessed such a piece-of-trash unit, I would have tried to grind affection with Athanas too.

No, I would have done it if I could have just raised my Mental Strength.

‘Because if Mental Strength goes up, you get fear resistance.’

At the very least, I wouldn’t be cowering and doing nothing like I am now.

‘…Thinking about it again makes me pissed.’

That Happy God bastard….

To just remove the way to increase Mental Strength.

Seriously, if I could just raise my Mental Strength, I wouldn’t even need to spend my time dodging the maggot priests….

Regardless, it was certain that there was a tacit agreement among players not to speak to Athanas.

Because it would be impossible for every single one of them to avoid approaching Athanas without such an agreement.

‘Unless they were all locked up or died immediately after converting….’

I quickly shook the terrible thought that had suddenly surfaced from my head.

There’s no way such a thing happened in the all-too-tolerant Church of Order!

Hadn’t I already concluded that such a horrific image of the Church of Order was merely agitation and fabrication by an Othergod to plant prejudices in the players?

A person should believe what they see and hear firsthand.

‘In that case, is the reason the Saintess called me to tell me that I shouldn’t talk to Athanas from now on?’

If so, ‘Fabio’ should react as if he has no idea what she’s talking about.

Simply faking an outward reaction wouldn’t be enough.

Because that bastard Ter, who can see emotions, is right next to me….

‘I just need to recall the feeling of being genuinely confused in that moment.’

Fully prepared, I entered the room where the Saintess was.

“Ah, Fabio.”

The Saintess (male) looked back at me.

“I have been waiting for you.”

‘Wow….’

I quickly fixed my gaze on the tip of his chin.

‘I almost forgot what I was thinking about just now.’

“Hello, Pell. I was told there is an explanation I need to hear.”

“Please sit first. I think this will take a while.”

At the table Pell pointed to, there were exactly two chairs facing each other.

As I sat down, I began to feel nervous.

“Um, so, may I ask why you called for me….”

“This is a very important matter. Please answer honestly.”

I swallowed hard.

If it’s something the First Apostle considers important, what on earth could it be?

‘Whatever the story is, I must show an appropriate reaction the moment I hear it.’

Even if it’s something I expected, I must be careful not to make it look like I’ve prepared the reaction in advance….

“Fabio.”

“Yes.”

“Do you know what ‘sexual intercourse’ is?”

“…Pardon?”

‘What?’

What did he just say?

I completely forgot everything I had been thinking.

‘Sexual intercourse?’

Is the Saintess asking about the rendezvous process of reproductive cells that organisms with divided sexes perform to leave descendants?

“…Are you asking if I know about that thing men and women do to make a baby?”

“So you are aware of it.”

‘Then how could I not know?’

Do serfs reproduce by budding? Do they not know what sexual intercourse is?

“However, Fabio, there is something you do not know.”

‘…What?’

“There are sexual acts in this world that are not for the purpose of making a child.”

‘Why does he think I don’t know that?’

I was flabbergasted.

It felt as if someone had asked me for the definition of ramen, and when I answered, ‘An instant food containing fried wheat noodles and powder soup,’ they replied, ‘You didn’t know there is non-fried ramen in the world!’

‘I just gave the general definition….’

As a modern person, I should have overwhelmingly more knowledge about such things.

‘But why is he asking this?’

Didn’t he say it was an important question?

Is this something you call a person in to ask seriously?

‘…Wait.’

Among the sexual acts not intended for making children, I suddenly remembered that one.

Coincidentally, one with a name similar to the person sitting in front of me….

‘…Did the Saintess find out how his name sounds to players?’

And so, did he figure out the real reason I couldn’t call the Saintess by his name?

Is he asking this now just to confirm the kill?

Suddenly, cold sweat began to pour down.

‘Was this why Adna wanted to kill me the moment she saw me….’

While I was unable to answer, the Saintess continued.

“A prime example is sexual intercourse between the same sex.”

‘…Out of nowhere, homosexuality?’

I mean, I’m glad he’s not digging into the name thing, but.

Homosexuality?

What is he trying to say about homosexuality?

‘…In medieval Christian societies, all pursuit of sexual pleasure except for intercourse between a married couple for the production of descendants was viewed as a sin.’

Therefore, even self-pleasure was something that should not be done.

Homosexuality was treated as a crime that would essentially end one’s life if discovered.

“…Fabio. Are you aware of the fact that people of the same sex can also engage in sexual intercourse?”

Of course I am.

How could a modern person living in the 21st century not know?

But why is he asking this? Even a serf like ‘Fabio’ would know that much….

‘No, does Fabio not know?’

I tried to recall various words that might be related to same-sex intercourse.

‘Nothing particular comes up.’

Even a serf living in a frontier village would have likely heard stories about someone being severely punished for sodomy, but strangely, no Narration Window appeared.

‘…Come to think of it, I’ve never seen anyone punished for homosexuality in the Book of Precedents either.’

If that’s the case, perhaps….

‘Does receiving the Blessing of Order fix one’s orientation as heterosexual?’

If so, it makes sense why I’ve never seen punishments for it in the Book of Precedents.

Things that people cannot even imagine will not happen, and thus there would be no need to punish them.

‘It certainly is irrational to punish actions based on innate orientation.’

The advanced and merciful God of Order seems to have made it so that there was no need for oppression, rather than oppressing innocent homosexuals.

Of course, the very idea of manipulating and correcting a person’s innate orientation would be seen as the malicious idea of a terrible discriminator by modern standards, but I must think in terms of the Middle Ages.

In the first place, if I think by modern ethical standards, persecuting people of other religions is also something that should not be done.

Anyway, I understood why the Saintess asked me that.

Since I didn’t receive the Blessing of Order, he must have thought there was a possibility that I could engage in ‘homosexuality,’ something other people couldn’t even imagine.

‘Certainly, Elamin wouldn’t be able to have this conversation with me.’

Only someone of the Saintess’s level would know in detail what the God of Order erased from human nature.

If I told Elamin, who received the Blessing of Order, about the concept of same-sex intercourse, she might feel shock and horror, like someone hearing about the mating process of bedbugs.

‘Then Fabio should answer that he’s never even imagined such a thing, right?’

Recalling the feeling I had when I first saw the double-slit experiment, I spoke.

“Same sex… sexual intercourse? I can’t really imagine what that means or how it’s done.”

The Saintess stared at me silently.

‘…Was the acting too obvious?’

“Is it, like, doing masturbation together or something like that?”

I did my best to act like a naive serf who had heard the concept of ‘same-sex intercourse’ for the first time.

But was the problem that a bastard who had been an internet addict since the days before safe search existed was trying to perform such a hypocritical act?

The Saintess suddenly let out a sigh.

“Fabio.”

“…Yes.”

“How old are you?”

“Pardon? I’m twenty-three this year….”

“No, I am talking about the time before you became ‘Fabio’.”

“Before I became Fabio…?”

“I can see what kind of life you have lived.”

The moment I heard the Saintess’s words, shivers ran down my spine.

‘He can recognize the player beyond the monitor?’

I knew the Othergod could do it, but the Saintess could too?

‘Shit, then what was he thinking while watching me pretend to be a serf?’

Conclude was never officially imported, but it was an M-rated game (Adults Only) overseas.

A gamer who enjoys adult games doesn’t know what same-sex intercourse is?

That’s complete bullshit.

Cold sweat began to pour down again.

‘…First, I need to confirm exactly what the Saintess can see.’

“What kind of person was I before?”

When he says he can see the life I lived, does it look like a video? In third person? Or in first person from my perspective?

Or can he read a summarized record written by someone?

If not that….

‘…Mother God even recognized posts I wrote using a VPN.’

Then can the Saintess see all the posts I wrote anonymously on the internet?

‘Shit.’

Then I’m screwed.

Suddenly, the comments left on the guides I wrote flashed before my eyes like a kaleidoscope.

-Reading this, I feel like the reason the world is still somewhat peaceful is that a guy like this is isolated from society because he’s playing a game…

-Is this a game that breeds lunatics? Or are lunatics sequestered in this game?

-From today, I pray that the author lives a long, healthy life. Because I don’t want to go to the hell where he takes over the regime after he dies.

-So this is what true madness looks like…

-Shouldn’t this bastard be executed before he becomes an Othergod?

“Fabio, you were….”

‘…No, calm down.’

If he had seen my internet history, he wouldn’t have said I was innocent or anything like that.

So, what the Saintess can see must be more limited.

Like me playing games at dawn looking like a total wreck….

“…You were a woman.”

I blinked.

‘Eh.’

What?

“You spent a wealthy childhood in a harmonious home….”

‘None of that is right.’

“You were famous for being intelligent and beautiful from a young age.”

‘Other than being told I’m smart a few times, everything else is wrong.’

“And you died in an accident at the age of seventeen.”

‘What is this even?’

What on earth is this Saintess looking at?

Did he look too far back?

Not the life before possession, but the reincarnation before that?

‘Then I was a genius beautiful girl who died young at seventeen in a past life?’

Was I born into a vicious capitalist family and sucked the blood of workers?

What a shitty reincarnation.

“…That is how it was known publicly. However, you were alive.”

“Pardon?”

Suddenly, this is developing like some 19th-century Gothic mystery novel.

“No one told you, but your role was the reserve Head of the family. The Church only allows up to two candidates in a family to prepare for accidents. Therefore, when the Head of the family became pregnant with a second child, you were processed as having died in an accident. Because they did not want to hand your body over to the Church.”

…Was my pre-previous life’s background the Dark Realm?

“It is not hard to imagine how you were treated after being recorded as dead…. That is why I thought it was a relief when you said you did not remember that life. However, it seems Casimir was curious about your past. Seeing as she tried to find your origin by checking what you did not know.”

‘So it wasn’t just that she dumped the work on me because she didn’t want to do it?’

No, wait.

Something is strange.

“I punished the failure to follow instructions, but I also reflected on it. Even if you do not remember, there is no way you are completely free from that past….”

I felt a sense of dissonance.

‘Could the past the Saintess sees be….’

“Fabio. I will ask one last time. Do you wish to know about the self from the past that you do not remember?”

I kept my mouth shut.

It would be safer to answer that I don’t want to know.

That way, I can keep pretending I don’t know.

Then I can keep thinking things like, ‘Anyway, everything must be going well, other players must be doing something, the Church of Order will handle it….’

As long as he doesn’t ask….

“…What was that person’s name?”

But I had to ask.

“Nothing else, just tell me the given name, excluding the family name.”

There was something I had to confirm.

If the Saintess answers ‘Perpetua’….

‘It means the Saintess has never had a proper conversation with a player.’

‘Perpetua’ is the Cult Leader Unit that appears when you choose the [No Pleasure], [Lack of Emotion], and [Depression] traits.

When I ran the Happy God macro, I repeated the game only with her because she took the longest to become uncontrollable.

So, if he looks at my ‘game logs,’ he will see Perpetua.

But to think of that as my previous life?

‘It means he doesn’t know what a player is.’

At the very least, no one has told the Saintess about concepts like Earth, computers, the internet, or gamers.

And that means?

‘It means there isn’t a single trustworthy bastard among the converted players.’

Of course, among them, there might be players who are cowards like me and just didn’t speak up.

But what if there’s a bastard who truly harbors malice?

‘Does the Saintess have the ability to filter out such people?’

He can’t even tell that I’m lying right now.

I prayed that the Saintess would not answer ‘Perpetua.’

The Church of Order had to be omnipotent, a place that runs well even if I know nothing.

It had to be a place where other players had already arrived and were cooperating diligently without any problems.

I just don’t want to care about any of this.

I want to live comfortably, thinking that everything will be over once Christmas comes.

Please….

“…Perpetua.”

‘Shit.’

“That was your name.”

My breath caught, and my chest felt tight.

‘Does the Saintess really not know what a player is?’

And there were no trustworthy players like a ‘Pioneer of Civilization’?

‘The Church of Order is doomed.’

Chapter 66