By Zephyria 
“Ugh— ugh—”
It had already been over several dozen minutes since Jeong-min began retching, clutching the toilet.
It was a situation where a doctor should be called, but since that was impossible, Ju-hwan, standing outside the bathroom, simply stared at his watch.
Just one more minute. Ju-hwan tapped his wristwatch with his finger.
Agonized sounds continued to drift from inside. Through a gap, he could see an empty syringe rolling under the bed. Ju-hwan picked up the syringe, snapped it in half, threw it in the trash, and hurled the empty medicine bottle next to it toward the mirror.
Shattered glass fragments flew, scratching Kim Ju-hwan’s face, but he didn’t care about the trickling blood, nor did he feel the pain.
He checked the clock again. The second hand was just passing 59 seconds. Then, he walked leisurely toward the bathroom and knocked on the door with his usual relaxed voice.
“Sunbae, are you alright?”
There was no answer.
He tried pressing the doorknob slightly. The door was still locked. His throat felt parched.
Whenever there were side effects, Jeong-min endured them alone. He had firmly drawn a line, deciding that this was an area he had to bear by himself. Ju-hwan found it frustrating, but knowing that stubbornness would never break, he left him be. Yeah, fuck. It was shitty, but he left him be.
“Sunbae.”
He cleared his throat and called out calmly again. However, his finger was already a split second away from pressing the primary physician’s number saved in his phone.
Just then, with a click, Jeong-min stumbled out with a face whiter than a corpse.
Ju-hwan quickly caught him.
Thump-thump—
He’s alive. His heart is beating. His body temperature is within the normal range. For now—he’s okay.
“Let go.”
The cracked voice spoke of despair. Jeong-min knew he had failed to become an Omega. Despite crossing the threshold of death several times—despite visiting the gates of hell again today—he was still an Alpha.
Jeong-min pushed Ju-hwan away and stumbled to pick up and put on the clothes fallen on the floor.
Ju-hwan grabbed Jeong-min’s arm.
“Rest.”
“I have to go.”
“Where are you going in this state?”
“Today… I promised to meet Shin-woo hyung.”
“Are you crazy? Cancel the appointment.”
“I can’t.”
“Sunbae! Do you think your body is in a normal state right now?”
“The appointment was made first! And you brought the drug!”
Jeong-min started to say something but soon grit his teeth. He was the one who had dragged Ju-hwan to the hotel after seeing the medicine bottle in Ju-hwan’s right hand before the appointment. Hoping that he might become an Omega before meeting Shin-woo hyung… holding onto that hope… so he couldn’t blame Ju-hwan.
“I’m sorry. I’ll take care of myself. You should go too.”
In the end, Ju-hwan could only watch Jeong-min’s back as he shook off his hand and left. Ju-hwan gnashed his teeth.
He couldn’t understand how someone who was an Alpha could shake his heart like this. Amusement? Interest? He knew it had already surpassed that level. He wanted Shin Jeong-min to become an Omega even more than Jeong-min did.
“No, actually, even if he’s an Alpha—”
It didn’t matter. That would be interesting in its own way.
“Yeah, this is fun.”
What else could it be?
Ju-hwan quickly left the room and walked down the hotel corridor. He approached Jeong-min, who was standing precariously in front of the elevator, grabbed his arm, and dragged him back. Jeong-min resisted, but since he was completely drained, he was pulled along wherever Ju-hwan led.
Tossing Jeong-min onto the bed, Ju-hwan took the phone from Jeong-min’s pocket and sent a message to Shin-woo. A simple message saying he couldn’t make it today. It was the maximum amount of consideration he could show for Jeong-min.
Throwing the phone far away, Kim Ju-hwan kissed the lips of the struggling Jeong-min. His own blood was staining Jeong-min’s cheek, but neither of them cared.
Jeong-min stared blankly at the distant phone and closed his eyes.
It’s hard. His body was exhausted, and his heart was slowly wearing out and fading. But this was the path he had chosen. He didn’t resent Ju-hwan. He didn’t resent Yu Shin-woo. He only wished that a warm and cozy spring would come to him soon. Then, he soon shook his head. Spring was a luxury for him. How pathetic must he be for that warm spring to be unable to settle and disappear so quickly… how terrible…
✽✽✽
From the day Su-han and Jeong-min had their talk, things between the two returned to normal.
“So? Why did you two fight?”
Su-eun asked with a pout, saying he had been worried.
“Just because,” Su-han replied bluntly.
“I said I was worried!”
“We just get closer by fighting.”
“Are you two children?”
“Haha.”
Su-han gave a pleasant laugh. He laughed so brightly that Su-eun looked bewildered, and Jeong-min, his face flushing, kept fanning himself.
Jeong-min didn’t fully trust Su-han’s heart, and he certainly hadn’t fully accepted him yet. Su-han also didn’t want Jeong-min to accept him immediately. He hoped that Jeong-min would slowly fall for him and come to believe in these feelings.
So, he slowly and without pressure, burrowed into Jeong-min’s heart.
He increased the time they spent alone, watching movies, drinking together, or just chatting at home… They narrowed the distance by spending time that was similar to before, yet subtly different.
Thanks to this, Jeong-min let down his guard toward Su-han, occasionally falling asleep on his shoulder or giving a shy smile when their eyes met… from Su-han’s perspective, he was showing an unbearable level of cuteness.
Because he had thought of Jeong-min as an Alpha and his younger sister’s fiancé until now, he hadn’t noticed, but Jeong-min had a side of him that wanted to lean on someone. That was cute and lovely. Even if he was wearing rose-colored glasses, he couldn’t help it.
And he wanted those glasses to be for him alone. Because if other people saw that side of Jeong-min, he felt he would be seized by an unbearable jealousy and might end up killing someone. That was why an Alpha’s possessiveness was so terrifying.
“Ah, I should get going.”
Jeong-min, who had been chatting about the day’s small events while drinking at a bar, looked at his watch and put down his glass.
“Already?”
With a voice full of regret, Su-han grabbed Jeong-min’s wrist. This level of skinship was nothing now. Jeong-min looked troubled.
“Sorry, I have to go to my parents’ house today.”
At Su-han’s request, he had completely stopped using honorifics and switched to casual speech. Strangely, since they started speaking casually, his heart had begun to feel ticklish. Su-han slumped like a dog abandoned by its owner.
“Tell me it’s not because of your damn sibling.”
“Haha, bingo. Young-min is making a fuss about getting divorced again, so I have to listen to him.”
“How long do you have to keep cleaning up after your sibling?”
“I know. I want to stop too… but since we’re siblings, I can’t. I guess that’s why they say blood is thicker than water.”
As Jeong-min stood up, Su-han grabbed his outer coat and put it on him. He could feel the gazes of other people. It seemed they were whispering because two Alphas were emitting a strange atmosphere, which bothered Jeong-min, but Su-han, with a smile that showed he didn’t care at all, stroked the back of Jeong-min’s hand.
After leaving the bar and coaxing the reluctant Su-han into saying goodbye, Su-han hugged Jeong-min from behind.
“What are you doing… what if someone sees?”
“Pheromone recharge until tomorrow. And marking.”
“Hyung!”
Before Jeong-min could say anything, Su-han poured his pheromones over him. Since they were both Alphas, a pheromone shower wasn’t necessary, but Su-han insisted on pouring his pheromones over Jeong-min every single time.
Unfortunately, Jeong-min was an Alpha. He naturally felt a sense of repulsion toward the pheromone shower. Su-han knew this but wouldn’t let go. Jeong-min also didn’t run away, as a way of accepting Su-han’s possessiveness.
“Go.”
“Now you’re making a fuss for me to go.”
Jeong-min laughed at the absurdity and hailed a taxi. Seeing Su-han watch until the taxi drove away, Jeong-min let out a long sigh. Very slowly, the feeling of not wanting to be apart from him was growing. It had become clear enough that he could see its shape. At the same time, his anxiety grew. This must be his own problem.
Jeong-min soon laughed at a text from Su-han cursing Young-min. Joy and warmth, coziness and stability… and his anxiety grew another inch.
✽✽✽
By the time Jeong-min arrived home, a storm had already passed through the house. His mother was sighing deeply, and his father was scolding Young-min. Jeong-min took the sobbing Young-min up to his room.
Young-min’s face looked too exhausted to even talk, so Jeong-min didn’t ask any more and focused on making sure he could sleep comfortably. Before he knew it, Young-min was pestering him to sleep together.
Thinking he was still immature, but also feeling sorry for him, Jeong-min lay down beside him to grant his request.
Young-min hugged Jeong-min tightly.
“Aren’t you hot?”
“Hot?”
At Young-min’s question, Jeong-min shook his head. Then Young-min hugged him even tighter and cried. Jeong-min patted Young-min’s back. It was the only thing he could do.