By Zephyria 
And many things happened.
Mikael became restless whenever I acted shy. He was so enchantingly cute and pretty in those moments that I was dying with the urge to keep teasing him. He would grab my hand so boldly, yet I wondered why I couldn’t do the same. There were times I felt a bit wronged by that, but for the most part, I was happy.
Because I easily grew nervous and my voice trembled whenever I looked at Mikael, the pathetic displays I showed him were exaggerated, though not entirely fabricated. I was no longer afraid of these physical reactions—the blushing cheeks, the racing heart, the trembling body—whenever I was before him.
I like you. I really like you. I like you so, so much. Instead of saying it with words, I strove to express it through my body. Sometimes I would hold my breath, making my already red cheeks turn even redder.
Whenever that happened, Mikael—despite me being more than a hand’s span taller than him—cherished and cradled me as if I were a piece of glass art that might shatter at any moment. Mikael’s affection was incredibly addictive, so I would whimper longingly every time, craving his touch.
Mikael was as oblivious to his own emotions as he was to those of others. When I asked him about his ideal type, he blinked innocently and waved his hand in dismissal. He said he wouldn’t marry a woman. But he also said he had never thought about marrying a man. He claimed he would just spend his whole life swinging a sword.
Still, if I pestered him saying I wanted to hang out just the two of us, he usually agreed with a bright smile. If I said my shoulders were tired, he would massage them; if I said my arms hurt, he would massage those too. After physical contact naturally increased in that way, he would smile and accept it even when I leaned into him as if to be embraced in his arms.
Cruelly, he wouldn’t sit right next to me in the Carriage. Even so, when I pressed close and whispered in his ear, he didn’t go out of his way to avoid it. Not only did he not avoid it, but he also knew how to whisper sweet words back into my ear.
Before I knew it, he began to wrap his arm around my shoulders and back to pat me, even without being asked. When I sat beside him, he would stroke my hair and touch the rim of my ear and my neck. When I shrank back because it was ticklish and embarrassing, he would also be startled, blushing and acting awkward, but whenever I peeked my head out again, he would stroke and caress me just the same.
And above all, he told me that yellow suited me well.
With an utterly ecstatic expression, unable to close his mouth, barely exhaling his boiling breath.
Was there any color that suited me less than yellow? I had the impression that Mikael particularly liked complementary colors, but yellow with black hair and black eyes… His sense of aesthetics was completely wrong, but I could clearly confirm his heart.
I was certain.
The current Mikael had sufficient erotic attraction toward me.
Having heard the whole story, Young Lady Philodendore covered her face with both hands and let out a low exclamation of admiration.
“Wow…”
“To be honest, I think Mikael is already halfway there.”
“Uh… you’re very confident. But me too. I wondered why you gave him a Rocket necklace as a birthday present this time and even put it on him yourself. You really were confident.”
“Yes. But I also know very well that Mikael knows absolutely nothing about same-sex romance.”
“Yeah, uh. I guess so…? Hmm… a Rocket…”
“…He naturally wouldn’t know about that either. You already know that part.”
“Ah. Thank you for saying the words I couldn’t bring myself to say.”
A Rocket necklace was one of the most representative symbols among gifts given to lovers. This was because people often kept a portrait of their partner or family inside the Rocket.
Since it required more gold and gems than a regular necklace due to its larger surface area, it was occasionally given as a bribe to difficult opponents, but putting it directly around someone’s neck—rather than handing it over in a jewelry box—was a privilege reserved only for lovers.
And I had openly put a Rocket around Mikael’s neck during class.
Mikael possessed an exceptionally outstanding appearance. I had no intention of catching every single insect that blindly flocked to a flower with a gorgeous scent. Since I had decided to raise him preciously in my Greenhouse, wouldn’t it be more effective to just apply some pesticide?
I smiled, and Marianne Philodendore folded her hands politely on her lap.
“So, the stew is already simmering, but the reason you specifically called me here is…?”
“I’m planning to confess to Mikael just before this winter break begins.”
“What? Oh.”
“I called you just so you’d know.”
“…Excuse me?”
“Once Mikael hears the confession, he’ll surely be dying to ask someone about it. Among them, there could be no more suitable person than Miss Marianne Philodendore, who is his closest friend and has recently experienced a dream-like love.”
“…Uh, yes. That would be true.”
“So when that happens, please take my side.”
“…Me?”
“I trust that Miss Marianne wouldn’t do this, but I don’t want you to raise the threshold for Mikael—who will already be anxious and nervous—by saying things like ‘since it’s between men, it might not be sincere,’ or ‘it’s unbelievable,’ or ‘I’m worried about the succession of the Imperial Family.’ Since he is late in realizing his own emotions, he will hesitate countless times.”
“…”
Philodendore snapped her head up with a gasp. Our eyes met directly. Philodendore couldn’t hold it for even a second and slowly averted her gaze to the side.
I wasn’t displeased at all. This was normal. It was Mikael who was special for looking straight into my eyes.
I spoke with sincerity, in a strong tone, as if making a declaration.
“I’m asking you sincerely. I’m not trying to make a deal, nor am I asking you to betray a friend. I just… I’m confident that I can make Mikael happy. So if you push him from behind, I’ll be the one to catch him well.”
“…If you put it like that, I can’t refuse.”
“Were you planning to refuse?”
“No. This sounds really interesting. Alright, I’ll cheer you on.”
I knew she would answer like this. Marianne Philodendore giggled and quickly reached out her hand for a handshake. I readily took her hand and shook it.
After shaking hands exactly twice, Philodendore stopped and asked with a beaming smile.
“Can I tell the other friends about this?”
“Well, except for Sir Shayden Rose and Young Master Damian Christopher.”
“Ah.”
“You know the reason why, Young Lady.”
“Mm, right. Then I’ll only tell Jenny. Actually, Jenny has been secretly rooting for Your Highness too.”
“I’ll be grateful if she roots for me openly from now on.”
“Heehee. Yes!”
I smiled and said goodbye to Miss Marianne, who clenched both fists in a ‘fighting’ gesture.
* * *
I pretended to be composed and confident in front of Young Lady Philodendore, but I lost that confidence the moment Mikael was before my eyes. As always, my heart raced and my breathing quickened, making it difficult to keep my senses.
But no matter how hard it was, it was necessary. I steadied my scattered mind and waited for Mikael.
One second felt like ten minutes, and ten minutes felt like ten hours.
I sat quietly in the library. I had a book open just in case, but there was no way I could study. There was still a month left until the day of the event, but I felt impatient. Will he not come today? I didn’t think I could endure until next weekend with a heart like this.
Mikael usually visited the library in the morning on weekends, or by noon at the latest. However, for some reason, he didn’t arrive today until almost four in the afternoon. I was just glad to meet him today, but before I could say anything properly, a hungry sound erupted.
“…It’s a bit early, but perhaps we could have a meal together.”
“Ah, no! I’m fine!”
I knew how sensitive Mikael was about eating, but right now, right now there was something I absolutely had to say. However, when my stomach growled once more, I could retreat no further. Yes, this much is fine. It’s not like I’m confessing today, and Mikael likes watching me eat.
We sat facing each other in the cafeteria.
The weather was lovely. A cool breeze brushed past my cheeks. It was still too early for evening to arrive, but the sunlight, descending with the season, sank low, making the shadowed scenery beautiful.
I ate my sandwich using Mikael’s face as a side dish, and Mikael ate a strawberry cake that looked just like him.
Then, after staring intently at his cake, he lifted the prettiest and largest strawberry and held it out to me.
“…Huh?”
“Eat this.”
And he didn’t move his hand. To make me take a strawberry with my mouth without using a fork… isn’t this a bit… too early?
I was as careful as possible, but my lips touched his fingertips. I struggled to suppress the urge to let my tongue out and lick it.
I mustn’t startle Mikael now. I couldn’t do something as stupid as letting go of a fish I had already caught.
When he suggested going back to the library, I grabbed his sleeve in surprise. Mikael would grab my wrist boldly, but I felt embarrassed and shy to snatch his wrist like that. At first, I intentionally didn’t grab him to act shy, but now I truly became too embarrassed to do so.
Mikael, who looked at me for a long time as if I were cute, generously gave me his time.
We walked side by side. Passing the landscaped trees, we headed toward the familiar pond. Mikael leaned against the bridge railing, and I stood before him. Our faces were excessively close. So close that it felt like we could kiss right now…
Mikael smiled tenderly and touched my collar.
“What was the story you wanted to tell me?”
“…”
I like you. I love you, Mikael.
Those words almost leaped out of my throat but stopped.
“Senior?”
“Huh? Oh. No, just… I just felt full, so I wanted to walk a bit. It’s nothing special…”
“I see.”
What should I do? My heart is beating too fast. If I’m like this already, what will I do on that day?
I took a deep breath and looked down at the pond. Mikael fixed his gaze near the rim of my ear. Will he stroke it again? I slightly lowered my head, but Mikael didn’t reach out.
After staying like that for a while, I made up my mind. I cleared my throat.
“…Young Master Ernhardt.”
“Yes.”
“It’ll be November soon.”
“That is true.”
“And the exam period will start right after…”
“I suppose so.”
“…After the exams are over, you’ll be going home.”
“Yes.”
Mikael looked at me quietly. I didn’t lift my head because I didn’t want to show my face. Being treated as cute is fine, but right now, right now it’s just too… my heart felt a bit strange.
“…Before you go, could you look at my face just once?”
“Hmm? …Why?”
“…Because we won’t be able to see each other for a long time during the break. That…”
I graduate a year before you. So next year, I want to spend my school days as your lover. I intend to take all the love you have to give. I’ll give all my love to you too, so it won’t be so bad for you…
Even though he couldn’t hear my inner thoughts at all, Mikael smiled and nodded.
“Well, I shall do so.”
It’s done. Now all preparations are complete.
I had already given Mikael a hint that we must meet before the break, and I had finished tidying up everything around me.
The timing for the flowers to be gifted on the day was already fixed on the day I planned. The flower I would use for the confession was lilac. I went through all sorts of trouble to prepare a flower that usually blooms in April in the middle of winter, but no matter how much I thought about it, no other flower suited him as well.
The words to say while handing over the bouquet were also ready. Because your hair color is like lilac petals, I keep thinking of you whenever I see the flowers. I don’t know if you know, but they say the language of lilacs is ‘first love.’ You are my first love… and I hope you’ll be my last.
My heart thundered loudly.
In my own thoughts, Mikael wouldn’t be able to answer immediately. But that was fine. He would be flustered and seek out his friends, and Miss Philodendore would egg him on and help him imagine more.
Then Mikael would spend the entire winter break thinking of me while agonizing intensely.
That alone was enough of a reward for me. I thought it would be perfect to go on a few more dates until the child reached adulthood and solidified his feelings. Everything was according to plan. Truly… it was truly perfect.
And on the day the winter break began.
Mikael went home without giving me even a single moment of his time.