By Zephyria 
Finally, the long, long vacation had come to an end.
Mikael had certainly grown a bit taller than before. And he was still Mikael.
An unpredictable order, a creature crafted with exceptional precision. Thus, while borrowing a human form, Mikael sat before me and continued his meal, adorned with a splendor that felt otherworldly.
I didn’t try to suppress the swelling emotions in my heart. Thanks to that, I was finally able to call something beautiful, beautiful. I was dying to reach out and brush back the bangs that curved softly across his white forehead. It was an excessive thought. I clenched my fists behind my back to endure it.
Lucilla and Matt Nico, who were already well-accustomed to Mikael’s destructive beauty, spoke to him, chatted, and laughed nonchalantly. I, too, let out occasional laughs so as not to seem too awkward and answered Mikael’s questions sweetly.
Because, based on what I had figured out throughout the last semester, Mikael’s taste generally leaned toward people of that sort.
The conversation about the throwing knife technique class Mikael would be taking continued for a long time.
“Professor Roberts… tends to focus more on practice than theory. Young Master Ernhardt knows from experience, but the more unfamiliar you are with throwing knife techniques, the longer the preparatory movements take. Of course, we could stand side-by-side and throw the flying daggers simultaneously, but then the Professor wouldn’t be able to correct our movements and posture, which would be inconvenient.”
“Ah.”
“That’s why he said he designed the curriculum so that each person practices at least five times per class to internalize the sensation. And ten people is the most suitable number for that.”
“I understand. If that’s the reason, it can’t be helped.”
During a brief lull in the conversation, I bit my lower lip to suppress a sudden surge of resentment.
Yes, it was something that couldn’t be helped. Since I had received his schedule immediately after Mikael registered it with the student affairs office, I already knew that Mikael would be formally learning throwing knife techniques. But knowing in advance didn’t make the sorrow any less.
Throughout the latter half of the last semester, I had met Mikael every Friday. Back then, my mind was so complicated that I couldn’t fully enjoy it, but thinking about it now, I felt an immense waste of that passed time.
What excuse should I use to ask him to meet now? We would see each other every week in the advanced swordsmanship class, but starting this semester, we were learning linked tactics, meaning there would be a lot of movement throughout the class. No matter how I thought about it, there wasn’t enough time to have small conversations or act friendly with Mikael separately.
There are so many things I want to do, but there’s so little time.
I have to attend classes, do assignments, take exams, and look after the business, but I also want to see Mikael. I was so preoccupied with these thoughts that I lost my appetite and left half of my food untouched.
It was on the way out of the dormitory restaurant.
Mikael suddenly grabbed my wrist.
Hasn’t he become more comfortable with physical touch than before the vacation? Startled, I stopped in my tracks. The others were walking ahead, but since Mikael held onto me and wouldn’t let go, I remained frozen.
After glancing at the group who had moved further ahead, Mikael rose on his tiptoes and whispered in my ear.
“Is something wrong?”
“…Huh? Uh… Huh?”
“Your expression doesn’t look good.”
“…Ah, that… it’s nothing much.”
Every time Mikael spoke, his fragrant breath touched my cheek. If I keep staying like this, won’t I be punished? But after such happiness, I felt it would be okay even if I received a heavenly punishment. I slightly bent my knees to make it easier for Mikael to speak. Mikael smiled as if embarrassed and stood up straight.
I also answered by whispering in Mikael’s ear. Sweetly, quietly, in a slightly whining tone.
“…Now, I don’t need to teach you throwing knife techniques anymore.”
“…Pardon? Why is that?”
“I’m sad and disappointed… It was fun.”
“Right?” I intentionally trailed off the end of the sentence.
Then, Mikael tilted his head for a moment and reached out with a very bright smile.
Uh, no, wait. I pretended to be pitiful on purpose, but I didn’t expect this much. Contrary to his face, his rough hands, with nails driven into every joint, brushed back my bangs and gently stroked from the crown of my head to the back of my neck several times, as if searching.
A chill ran down my spine and my breath stopped. Not only where his fingertips touched, but I curled up as if I were ticklish all the way to my toes.
Unable to say a word, I just stood there with wide eyes, receiving his touch. I never imagined it. That someone touching my head… could feel this good.
What if my body melts away like this? Absurd thoughts echoed noisily in my head.
We were in front of the restaurant. Naturally, the gazes of people passing by gathered. I’m sure everyone watching, not just me, was bewildered, and I knew that doing this here would blow away all my dignity, whether as the Emperor or otherwise, but I didn’t want to avoid it.
Lucilla, who had walked that far ahead, was looking back with her jaw dropped.
Ah. I squeezed my eyes shut and opened them. Mikael was smiling with a very sweet expression. As if looking at something very pitiful and lovely, as if doing something very interesting.
…
…
As much as it was shameful, it was fluttering. So I just… decided to accept it.
After doting on me like that for a while, Mikael soon left, saying he had to attend his next class. The moment Mikael disappeared from my sight, I fled to my private dormitory room. Lucilla made a fuss, banging on my door, but I absolutely refused to open it.
* * *
It was in a dream.
I didn’t dream often. It was the result of constant effort since childhood because I loathed the version of myself that I couldn’t control. Because of that, the Essence light in the dream felt unfamiliar, and I stood dazed for a while. As I stood still, someone walked toward me from across the way.
It was Mikael. A dream where Mikael appears. It’s a lucid dream.
The Mikael in the dream was a bit taller. He looked like a full-grown adult man, similar to Duke Valentia. I knew it was a dream the moment I saw him, but honestly, it was a look I had been curious about, so I observed him as quietly as possible to avoid waking up.
Then, the adult Mikael smiled and called me.
“Senior.”
“Huh? Ah, yes.”
“Is something wrong? Your expression doesn’t look good.”
…This line, isn’t it, isn’t it familiar?
As I stood frozen, unable to say anything, the Mikael in the dream reached out toward me.
I squeezed my eyes shut. Nevertheless, a surprisingly vivid sensation brushed my forehead and swept back my hair. Ah. My stomach tingled again at the hand gently stroking my head. The strength left my knees, and I instinctively reached out. I gripped Mikael’s shoulders tightly to support my body.
Even then, the Mikael in the dream didn’t stop stroking me.
The hand, with prominent calluses, gently tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. Gasp. Startled, I took a half-step back. Mikael’s other hand wrapped around my waist to keep me from falling. The gaze that seemed to worry for me was just as kind as the real Mikael. It was good. It was good, but.
It was so good that…
“…Yo, Young Master. That is.”
“Hmm? Why?”
It’s a dream. Besides, he’s not in his child form; he looks like an adult. And amazingly, it’s even a lucid dream. Then, then this is…
“…I, well…”
“Yes. Please speak.”
“…It hurts here… Could you stroke me here, too?”
“Here?”
Ah. Is he set to be naive? Or is he just pretending not to know? Of course, I prefer the Mikael in the dream to be as similar to the real one as possible, but I don’t know what to do if he’s this clueless.
Even while looking at me, erect to the point that my crotch felt stinging, the Mikael in the dream tilted his head innocently.
However, I didn’t want to miss this—this opportunity. The feelings I had for Mikael were clearly erotic. Of course, I intended to try those kinds of things only after he became an adult, but right now it was a dream, and hands. I calculated that doing it with hands would be okay.
I grabbed Mikael’s hand, which was needlessly stroking my shoulder, and rubbed it firmly against my palm.
“…Gasp.”
“Does it hurt?”
“Yes, hng, ngh… It hurts. It hurts, Mikael…”
The Mikael in the dream, Dream-kael, still had a tender expression, as if looking at something very cute and pitiful. Ah, I want to kiss him. No, no. I should do that with the real one… I laughed thinking about Mikael, who probably had no idea what I was thinking. When I laughed, Dream-kael laughed too.
And then, he gripped my genitals, which had swollen and begun to leak fluid with a squelching sound, and started to shake them slowly.
“Does it not hurt if I do this?”
“Ah. Yes, nng. Like, like that…”
“Liar.”
My eyes widened in surprise as he suddenly gripped my genitals with force. I was greatly startled by the stinging pain that seeped through the pleasure. What? This is a dream that even implements things like this?
As if it were natural, Dream-kael bit the tip of my chin and kissed my cheek. Whether it was because I wished not to go as far as kissing, or because Dream-kael originally intended it that way, I couldn’t tell.
The hand gripping my genitals began to shake faster. Ah, was he pretending not to know? Why? It was scary and chilling, but it felt good. After pulling back for a moment, I pressed my genitals tightly against his palm again and thrust my hips. The touch, which had been fierce for a brief moment, soon regained its tenderness.
I want to go inside you. It was such a shameless thing to say that I couldn’t utter it aloud. Even though I only thought it, Dream-kael smiled in a very familiar way, as if he understood everything. I became aroused again at the sound of the laughter he let out in my ear.
So I thought and thought again about the words I couldn’t say aloud.
I love you. I love you, Mikael. I like you.
I think I’m broken somewhere. Because of you, I…
…
I woke up from the dream.
The sun was already up. But as soon as I became conscious of my genitals, which were standing painfully taut, my hand went there first.
The Mikael in the dream had quite rough hands, and my own hands weren’t like that, which was a bit disappointing. But still…
I curled up in bed, gripping and shaking my genitals as if in heat. I buried my face in the pillow and sobbed, calling out “Mika, Mika.” Only after coming twice in a row did I finally check the time.
And I realized two important facts.
Today was Sunday. And I was late for my appointment with Mikael.
I washed up quickly and ran out. Still, I didn’t feel a shred of guilt.
I didn’t cross the final line, after all.
Though I’ll cross it soon. But at that time, I’ll get Mikael’s permission, not Dream-kael’s, so it’ll be fine.
With that, I desperately hoped that Mikael would become an adult quickly.