#183

Cullen fell asleep during the short journey back. Perhaps it was because I had been running without rest in a tense state, or perhaps it was because the body holding my cold form was soft. When I realized I had fallen asleep and opened my eyes, I was in someone’s embrace.

The moment a faint scent of his body reached my nose, Cullen realized who it was.

He stiffened, his body freezing, and raised his gaze. Before him was a white chin, and golden eyelashes cast downwards. The Dragon was asleep, holding me tightly. His pale, wet face looked peaceful.

When was the last time I had seen the Dragon this close? It was the night before Kia appeared. The night that was the most tender, and thus the most cruel. Even setting aside the time I slept, it was a memory from long ago.

The Dragon’s eyes, which had been gazing down at me, suddenly opened. There was no time to block it. The night, where our hot body temperatures melted and mingled, our bare skin touching as we gazed at each other, flashed through my mind. Its beautiful eyes, holding only me, blinked tenderly, and the Dragon spoke thus.

“I… like being like this with you.”

The moment those words filled my mind, I came to my senses. Realizing I had to push the Dragon away, Cullen flinched. It seemed difficult to release his arms as they were. He was holding me so tightly that there was no sign of him letting go.

There was no other way but to push him away, but I hesitated to place my hand on his chest. Wasn’t that making us touch even more intimately? Still, I couldn’t continue like this. Cullen pushed me away, though I couldn’t find a particular reason not to.

Just as I was about to catch my breath and pull my lips away to wake him, the Dragon opened his eyes. His eyes, still hazy with sleep, stared blankly at Cullen. Seeing him like that, Cullen felt a subtle difference.

The Dragon had always woken before me. Even if he woke later, he had never shown himself in a sleepy state. He had explained that he didn’t need to sleep or eat, and he had acted accordingly. I had no memory of him having such languid eyes.

As I paused, unsettled by the strange difference, the Dragon looked down at Cullen and opened his lips.

“…Are you hurt anywhere?”

Before I could stop him, the Dragon released his arms and placed a hand on Cullen’s forehead. Just as I had been checking his temperature, he carefully placed his palm on my forehead. The delicate movement made Cullen stiffen. My insides churned at the touch, which handled me as if I might shatter.

“You don’t seem to have a fever. I was worried because you got caught in the rain.”

The Dragon spoke as if he were genuinely concerned. His soft hand stroked my forehead before slowly withdrawing. As if reluctant.

“I am fine. May I… get up now?”

Cullen moved his lips, which were reluctant to part, to express his desire to be released. Seeing Cullen pull back, the Dragon’s expression changed. A faint ripple of emotion crossed his calm face, casting a shadow over it. He lowered his eyes and slowly sat up. His arms slowly loosened.

“…Are you uncomfortable? I held you to warm your body and fell asleep. It wasn’t… intentional.”

The Dragon spoke thus, gazing at Cullen. His eyes held a hint of fear. The vulnerability the Dragon had shown since yesterday confused my heart. The way he was so concerned about my feelings was indescribable…

“I am not uncomfortable.”

Cullen said. The Golden Seal wasn’t weak enough to feel such emotions. However, it was bad in a different way.

“But I don’t think it’s a good idea to keep touching. Doesn’t contact deepen unnecessary emotions?”

As it was my own experience, Cullen knew well. I tried to maintain my composure, but whenever our eyes, hands, or skin touched, affection would swell like a snowball. It swept through my heart like an uncontrollable disaster.

The Dragon said he couldn’t figure out how not to love me. If he couldn’t figure it out, I had no choice but to find a way to make him give up.

However, Cullen also didn’t know the exact method. For now, the only thing I could do was minimize contact.

“…Why?”

The Dragon’s face, which had brightened for a moment at the words “not uncomfortable,” hardened again at the subsequent words. Even seeing his pained expression, Cullen continued.

“Didn’t I tell you not to love me? It’s for your own good. You said you didn’t know how, but what’s certain is… there’s no good in being close.”

As the calm words continued, the Dragon bit his lip hard. His pale lips caught my eye. After a few seconds of silence, the Dragon let out a trembling breath and said softly,

“Is that really… for my own good?”

Cullen nodded slowly. I had been sure, but seeing the Dragon ask like that… it felt somehow uncomfortable.

“Yes. I cannot love you. As I said, you will experience even greater pain later. This is for that time.”

As each word scattered from Cullen’s lips, the Dragon’s expression hardened. He maintained a deep silence, then lowered his head. Standing on the narrow bed facing each other, they were enveloped in silence.

“I will do as you wish.”

The Dragon said, as if reminding me of last night’s promise. His plea, asking me to stay by his side no matter what I wanted, echoed in my ears. Cullen unconsciously gripped the sheet tightly. The Dragon slowly raised his head and looked down at me. He whispered softly,

“I will touch you one more time… and then… I will not touch you again.”

“That…”

“Please, Cullen.”

His uncharacteristic plea rang out feebly. His eyes beneath his furrowed brows were so earnest that it was hard to ignore. As Cullen closed his mouth, the Dragon slowly reached out and touched his cheek. His long, soft fingers wrapped around my skin. At that moment, a subtle tremor ran through me. The fingers gripping the sheet tightened.

“I was going crazy wanting to do this.”

Whispering earnestly, the Dragon moved his hand from my cheek. His fingers gently stroked my cheek before slowly descending to my lips. The fingertips, lightly brushing my mouth, lightly touched my lips.

As soft fingertips caressed my dry lips, the area where they touched gradually grew warm. A tremor flowed down my spine. Cullen, trying to resist, flinched and turned his head.

Something felt dangerous.

“…This should be enough.”

His hand withdrew and hovered in the air. Seeing Cullen pull back, the Dragon’s eyes deepened with longing. He slowly lowered his hand. Even after it fell away, the Dragon gazed endlessly at the lips he had been touching.

The heat persisted even as our gazes met, so Cullen decided to leave the bed first. It felt bewildering, a fleeting thought. But in my haste, Cullen carelessly overlooked that feeling.

“Are the children alright?”

Cullen sought another topic. I remembered we had been away all night, and Cat, who had cried while clinging to me, came to mind belatedly. At my words, the Dragon nodded after a moment.

“They are well. Rather than that…”

The Dragon stood up, following Cullen. His robe had slipped slightly, revealing his white body as he moved. As I quickly averted my gaze, the Dragon slowly fastened his robe.

“You should eat. Haven’t you been starving all this time?”

Cullen observed the Dragon. His suggestion to eat first felt strange. It felt strange in a different way.

“…Are you hungry?”

Cullen asked, confirming the unease I had been feeling since earlier. The Dragon looked intently at Cullen and slowly shook his head.

“It’s for you.”

The Dragon said thus and opened the door for Cullen. Watching him stand silently, waiting for me to leave, Cullen clenched and unclenched his fists. The sensation that kept drawing me to him since earlier was peculiar. Deliberately ignoring it, Cullen slightly lowered his head and left the room.

As we exited the room, the Young Dragons were immediately visible. Like puppies, the Dragons standing in front of us rushed forward as soon as Cullen emerged. Cat was the first to be embraced.

“Don’t goooo…”

Cat, clinging to my legs, burst into tears. Following him, White and Black looked up at Cullen intently. Unusually, Black’s face also showed an expression. It was one of anxiety.

“Are you leaving us?”

Black asked quietly. His face, which had looked at me calmly before we left the cabin, must have sensed my intention to leave. White lowered his head, his face struggling to hold back tears. I hadn’t expected the children to become so attached to me in just a few days.

“No.”

Despite Cullen’s words, Cat didn’t stop whimpering. His golden hair, resembling the Dragon’s, fluttered as he cried, rubbing his cheek against my thigh. The moisture gathered on his long eyelashes, just like the Dragon’s yesterday.

“But you were going to leave…”

As Cat showed no signs of stopping, the Dragon gently detached him and picked him up. Cat tried to cling to Cullen but obediently settled when the Dragon held him. Then he asked,

“Kiyen, is Cullen with us?”

“He will be. So stop crying.”

The Dragon said quietly. Then Cat buried his face in the Dragon’s collar and made a whimpering sound. At that moment, Lasano entered the cabin, as if to lighten the mood. The basket he carried was filled with vegetables.

Upon entering, he saw Cullen and broke into a smile.

“Did you have a nice walk? You took quite a long walk last night.”

Lasano said, winking. Instead of replying, Cullen walked silently towards him. The gazes surrounding me felt unfamiliar.

“Are you preparing a meal?”

“Yes, it turns out I have a talent for it.”

Cullen had never seen him cook before. Arne had always been in charge of meals…

At the sudden, unexpected mention of the undead’s name, Cullen paused. Lasano, perhaps not thinking much differently, smiled wordlessly.

“I will help too.”

Cullen dismissed his thoughts and stepped closer. He stopped the Dragon and children who were trying to follow.

“We’ll take care of things here, so it would be better if you helped prepare the meal instead.”

Cullen said, making eye contact with Cat, who was held in the Dragon’s arms.

“Cat, how about picking some of your favorite flowers outside?”

When assigned a task, Cat stopped crying and raised his hand.

“Yes, I’ll do it!”

“White and Black, I would be grateful if you would do the same. It would be good for us all to go out and gather what we will eat.”

Saying this while watching the Dragon, the Dragon looked at the children expressionlessly. Soon, he nodded and went outside first, holding Cat. Black and White glanced at Cullen before following the Dragon.

Finally alone with Lasano, Cullen immediately asked him in a low voice,

“Lasano, I have something to ask.”

“It seems the resurrected Cullen has become quite curious.”

Meeting the gaze of his playfully responding red eyes, Cullen voiced his question.

“How did he bring me back to life?”

There had clearly been some change in the Dragon. Not just emotional, but something physical.