By Zephyria There were so many things I was curious about that it was hard to ask all at once, but strangely, my throat felt blocked and I couldn’t say anything more.
“So… you….”
Suddenly, my heart sank coldly.
What if I confirmed that he saw me in his dreams? That he knew me? What would happen next?
—I’m listening.
I bit my lip tightly at the low urging.
If I told Sung Se-han everything about what kind of relationship we had, when we had been together, right now.
Would it really be okay then?
Without any problems…?
“No, just… you were so cool today….”
—I know that too.
Sung Se-han chuckled, but cold sweat was running down my back.
Foolish Lee Tae-kyung…! I was out of my mind and almost did something crazy.
Grandmother had leaked information to me, which broke the Status Window. That’s why we had to be separated for so long.
I was about to blurt out anything without any sense of alertness. I must really be out of my mind. I felt so pathetic that I wanted to slap myself hard.
“Haa…! Sung Se-han, I think I know now.”
There were many times when I couldn’t argue and just brushed past the things Sung Se-han said that I couldn’t understand. Because those things weren’t that important in the moments we were together.
But when the fog cleared, a clear fact revealed its shape at once.
—What?
A big sigh burst out at the curious voice.
“You’re really an idiot.”
No. I was the idiot for not knowing that.
I should have thought about it at least once when Sung Se-han said I had a boyfriend with such conviction.
I should have paid more attention when he told me to forget the past relationship with such a regretful tone. Now all the pieces were fitting together.
Sung Se-han still doesn’t know that the problematic boyfriend he’s showing hatred towards is himself.
—That’s right. I think I become an idiot when I’m with you.
I wanted to see Sung Se-han’s face, which was answering so readily, and I clenched my fist tightly because I wanted to touch him.
“Even if you’re busy, get some sleep. Please. Don’t worry me.”
When I held back all the things I wanted to say, a weak voice came out. Sung Se-han was silent for a moment, then let out a faint sigh.
—Okay. I’ll try to get a good night’s sleep today.
Even after ending the call, I fiddled with my phone for a long time. My head was so confused that I felt like I was going to get a headache.
It seems clear that Sung Se-han is seeing me in his dreams.
If I think about his attitude from the moment we first met on the day we recorded the sports competition, it makes sense right away. There’s no room for doubt.
But why doesn’t he know that the boyfriend is himself? That’s the only thing I don’t understand.
That doesn’t mean I can rashly confirm that with Sung Se-han.
So… I couldn’t even confirm that the boyfriend Sung Se-han was talking about was Sung Se-han himself.
“Hoo…!”
When I looked back on all the circumstances, I was in a situation where I couldn’t laugh or cry. But the moment I covered my face with both hands, I realized I was smiling.
Even so, I was happy.
That I wasn’t the only one who missed him.
The fact that Sung Se-han had missed me made me indescribably happy. Regardless of how hard it was for Sung Se-han.
I know I’m really bad for being so happy, but it was hard to take the smile off my face.
*
June 30th, 1 PM.
Waiting for the time when Sung Se-han’s solo song would be released, I hid in the conference room alone again.
The moment I sat down at the long desk and opened my laptop, my fingers were trembling.
I can finally meet Sung Se-han, who I haven’t been able to hear or see for days. They’re not the old solo songs that I could only hear in my dreams, but. It was hard to calm my excited heart with another expectation.
As I shook my legs and counted down the seconds, my throat became parched. But I didn’t have the time to go get bottled water.
Sung Se-han’s new solo song. The music video for “Looking Back,” the gift he prepared for me, will be released in 10 seconds.
Exactly 1 PM. The tension was at its peak while I refreshed the page, and I could barely breathe.
What I saw the moment the video started was a dark forest.
The video, with the intro of drums and keyboard flowing, was scanning a forest submerged in a dark night without a moon.
I covered my heart with one hand at the pain I felt for no reason.
At the moment when the drums dropped out and the melody of the guitar, bass, and keyboard escalated, a low humming flowed out through the dark forest.
“Ah…!”
It felt like my heart was collapsing at the humming I heard. It was clearly a major chord with a bright melody, but I was helplessly collapsing.
Without realizing it, I bit my lip, and a light flickered in the center of the pitch-black forest. While that light was getting closer and closer, the magnificent sound of the orchestra was gradually increasing its presence.
“We will eventually meet.”
“Like the sky and the sea meet.”
“Becoming one line, eventually we.”
The moment I heard the husky vocals in the intro, my head tingled. The powerful, mournful, and emotional voice seemed to grab my heart with just one phrase.
The identity of the fire, which was brightening the dark forest and getting closer and closer, was a hand lantern. I watched Sung Se-han appear in the light without even blinking, clutching my chest.
Sung Se-han, holding a hand lantern and fluttering his robe, was walking alone in the dark forest.
“To me, who is passing through seven winters.”
“Don’t say the word ‘four seasons’.”
How beautiful was Sung Se-han, wearing a dopo over a pitch-black suit and walking through the dark forest relying on a hand lantern. How heartbreakingly beautiful, I couldn’t help but cry.
“The darkness surrounding me is so thick. I’m afraid you won’t be able to find me.”
“I light such a small fire.”
“I walk. I look. And I hope again.”
“So that you don’t pass me by.”
“I look back.”
“I light the fire.”
Sung Se-han was walking leisurely through the dark forest as if he were walking on clouds. As if the trees, flowers, and small fireflies lit by the hand lantern were his only friends. He was walking alone.
“My footsteps can only be directed towards you.”
“Because the wind and the scent are directed towards you.”
Sung Se-han, holding the hand lantern high, suddenly looked back. I gasped, feeling the illusion that my eyes were meeting his brown eyes with flickering light.
His smooth forehead with soft hair flowing down, his sparkling eyes. And his picturesque nose and alluring lips. An otherworldly beauty made my heart ache.
“The fog surrounding me is so thick. I’m afraid you won’t be able to recognize me.”
“I light such a small fire.”
“I walk. I look. And I hope again.”
“So that you don’t pass me by.”
“I look back.”
“I light the fire.”
Sung Se-han, who had stopped walking, held up the hand lantern and shone it between the layers of trees. As if he were looking for someone. No, as if he were waiting.
“Every time you close your eyes, I want to beg.”
“Even if you can’t hear me.”
When Sung Se-han looked up at the dark sky, his soft hair was ruffled by the wind.
“I miss you, who doesn’t know me.”
Was it because of the low humming that he looked lonely with a faint smile on his lips? Or was it because my heart was collapsing right now?
“I light a small fire.”
“I look back.”
“So that you don’t pass me by.”
Sung Se-han’s back, holding the hand lantern, was getting farther and farther away. Every time the small light seemed to flicker out, my heart kept collapsing.
Only pitch-black darkness remained in the forest where the light had disappeared. Along with a low humming.
“…….”
I closed the laptop and tried to jump up.
I was going to run to Sung Se-han right away, but my body wouldn’t move. Because I remembered my situation, where I couldn’t tell him any facts even if I met him now. I gripped the desk and closed my eyes.
My heart and head were playing separately, so it seemed my body couldn’t choose which one to follow. I couldn’t hold on without collapsing onto the desk.
The moment I collapsed onto the desk, I heard the sound of the door opening and quickly raised my body.
“Tae-kyung, you were here?”
“Gun-woo Hyung….”
Gun-woo Hyung’s face, which was coming into the conference room, was flushed. I rubbed my eyelids with the back of my hand, wondering if there were tears welling up.
“Did you see Sung Se-han’s music video?”
“Yes. Just now….”
“Wow, is Sung Se-han really a genius?”
Gun-woo Hyung, who had strode up to my desk, grabbed my shoulders and shook me.
“I was really moved. The song is so good! He mainly uses major chords, but why does it make me feel lonely and melancholic? He captures minor chords so cleverly. I’m really envious!”
“Sung Se-han’s songs are always like that….”
“The diverse vocals seem to play a part, and he uses his expressions well… Seriously, what is Sung Se-han? It seems like his solo songs are his true colors, more so than the perfect album! Don’t you think?”
Gun-woo Hyung, who used to be jealous and wary of Sung Se-han when we were trainees together, looked so excited and elated that I couldn’t help but smile.
“I think I like it even more because Gun-woo Hyung likes it.”
“Tae-kyung, you should get closer to Sung Se-han. Okay? I want to become friends with him too!”
“Haha! I will. Gun-woo Hyung… Oh!”