By Zephyria Two years ago, the summer when Hwang Hae-kyung was active as a nineteen-year-old volleyball player was particularly hot. Not only was he selected as an Olympic national team player, which could be said to be the peak of his career, but he also proudly scored points in international competitions and raised the Taegeukgi to the top of the Olympic flagpole.
On the day the South Korean men’s volleyball team’s gold medal was confirmed, the South Korean team’s accommodation was bound to be in a frenzy of party atmosphere. It was a year when a particularly large number of young and young players were selected, and energetic players who were exercising in various countries around the world were gathered in one athletes’ village.
Moreover, that day was the last night of the Olympics. It was also the day that the South Korean women’s volleyball team confirmed their final gold medal, and the day before, the men’s volleyball team had already achieved the feat of winning the gold medal.
Therefore, on the day of the victory, he was overwhelmed with congratulatory greetings and phone calls. Hwang Hae-kyung tried to find an opportunity to contact Lee Yoon-san on the day of the victory, but he couldn’t afford it due to the continuous calls. He even tried to leave his cell phone and borrow another player’s cell phone, but the situation was similar with the other players’ cell phones as well.
Above all, the phone call with the school coaching staff was long. Hwang Hae-kyung was one of the few minor players belonging to the national team in all sports, and the men’s volleyball team’s gold medal was the first in history, so the reaction was even more extreme.
In the end, Hwang Hae-kyung spent the night of the victory anxiously. It seemed that Lee Yoon-san would have fallen asleep because it was deep in the early morning hours when the phone became a little quieter.
So, he finally tried to contact Lee Yoon-san again today, the next day, and took advantage of the busy schedule of the national team coaching staff and other players. They were busy interacting with players from other sports or other countries at the athletes’ village party.
It was an unusual party because it was a group with a high percentage of Second gendered beings. As expected, Alpha had the largest proportion of players due to the nature of sports where physicality is important, and Omega also shined quite a bit in sports such as equestrian and weightlifting, where the smaller the physique or height, the more advantageous it is.
In addition, under the standard drug regulations for international competitions, everyone had to take Suppressant of the same ingredient during the Olympics. This was because otherwise there could be a problem with doping. Instead, the host country of the competition distributed a large number of contraceptives such as condoms every time, and this Olympics was no exception.
Chapter
Heat cycle suppressants had been distributed to Second gendered beings with heat cycles, and it was a party where all the pressure of the games had been lifted, full of vigorous and physically healthy people. In fact, it was an environment where an enjoyable atmosphere was bound to form.
Hwang Hae-kyung just showed his face at the dinner party and left the party area with his phone in hand. Because it was a place where Second gendered beings gathered, the mixed Pheromone was dizzying.
Everyone was taking the same standard Suppressant, so there were those whose effects were not fully realized—in this case, the player’s participation may be suspended depending on their condition on the day of the game—and even if the Suppressant worked well, many people intentionally leaked a little Pheromone to enjoy the last night. Or there were those who didn’t take Suppressant at all.
Hwang Hae-kyung was the youngest member of the men’s volleyball team, and his stabilization judgment was delayed due to his high hormone levels. Therefore, he could not fully trust the effectiveness of the international standard Suppressant. According to the rules, underage Alphas or Omegas were restricted from attending the party, but this was not a school, and in a situation where everyone was excited, no one would strictly manage the few underage players like a school.
The coaches, supervisors, and staff, who had the duty of supervision, were already excited and greeting people, and there were not many countries that strictly managed underage Second gendered beings like Korea.
Rather, the team players and coaches were busy bragging about Hwang Hae-kyung. He was a very popular sports star on social media, and since he was spending his nineteenth summer, it seemed like they thought he was virtually similar to a hormone-stable adult. This was because ordinary Alphas often reach their stabilization period while spending their nineteenth year.
In addition, many players gathered in the training camp claimed to be fans of Hwang Hae-kyung and asked to follow his account or take pictures. In such cases, the volleyball team players would boast and be proud as if their youngest member was a K-pop star.
They didn’t seem to realize how high Hwang Hae-kyung’s hormone levels were. The management of Hwang Hae-kyung’s body was so thorough, and everyone was probably too excited.
‘Let’s hear his voice. Not a DM.’
Hwang Hae-kyung quickly left the reception area, picked up his phone, and looked for Lee Yoon-san’s number. He was too impatient to send a DM, so he wanted to hear his voice first.
It was an impulse he often felt since receiving Lee Yoon-san’s phone number. He liked hearing Lee Yoon-san speak in a soft and gentle voice, and he also found his slightly awkward and flustered tone whenever he started a call amusing.
As he strode towards the elevator, a group following from behind blocked Hwang Hae-kyung’s path. The smell of alcohol was strong, and the tangled Pheromone scent was not controlled at all. They seemed to be composed of players from various countries, and they were already very excited and their eyes were glazed with alcohol.
Hello? He’s your fan! He said hello earlier, do you remember? He’s following your account too! He’s actually Korean, so he’ll be able to communicate with you well! And it looks like ‘that’ has started? You two have fun!
The group that suddenly rushed in said that to Hwang Hae-kyung in awkward English pronunciation, and then strongly pushed an Omega who was hiding shyly between them into his arms. The expression ‘actually Korean’ was a bit subtle. And soon after, a rather strong Pheromone quickly covered Hwang Hae-kyung.
It was Omega Pheromone.
“Wait…!”
Hwang Hae-kyung stepped back from the sudden dizziness, and the group that laughed as they watched the Omega who had been pushed into Hwang Hae-kyung’s arms ran away as if fleeing. Among themselves, they seemed to be imitating ‘mischievous friends who made their friend’s crush come true.’
“Are you okay, are you okay…?”
Then the Omega in his arms asked. He was a bit more conscious, and his voice was cautious. Hwang Hae-kyung shook his head roughly as if shaking off the scent, listening to the Omega’s voice. At the same time, he pushed away the Omega in his arms.
“S-sorry! I said I was your fan, and people heard it…”
“Stay away, please.”
Hwang Hae-kyung was able to overcome the dizziness only after shaking his head a few more times. Only then did he look at the Omega in front of him. Leaving aside the strong Pheromone, he was a man characterized by tanned skin, a sturdy and plump physique, short black hair, and droopy eyes.
Thanks to some familiar features that reminded him of someone from his childhood, he vaguely remembered exchanging eye contact with him at the reception area. He was a Japanese player in the judo event, and he had heard that he was a Korean-Japanese. Perhaps that’s why his pronunciation was a bit awkward.
“Go away, and don’t make any more mistakes.”
This meant that he would let it go this far. He was unpleasant, but he was more eager to talk to Lee Yoon-san. After suddenly encountering Omega Pheromone, his thirst became even more intense. Then the man seemed a little embarrassed, and while smelling of alcohol, he apologized again and lowered his head to avoid eye contact.
“Uhm, my… my intention wasn’t bad, and… being a fan is, is sincere…”
The man seemed worried that there might be a misunderstanding, and he was rambling. It was because he kept holding onto Hwang Hae-kyung. Or maybe this man was also an accomplice, not a victim, of the group from earlier. Hwang Hae-kyung looked down at the man trying to talk to him with mumbled words and sighed.
It wasn’t an act intended to deliberately embarrass the other person. He was just frustrated with the current situation. He wanted to talk to Lee Yoon-san, but he was caught by the man, the Pheromone that rushed in was too strong, and the sound of people’s footsteps and voices was coming from over there.
“Huh? Hey, isn’t that Pheromone?”
It was said in an unfamiliar foreign language other than English, but it wasn’t difficult to guess the content because it was accompanied by a sniffing gesture. Only then did Hwang Hae-kyung realize that this man’s Pheromone was not only felt strongly by him, who had not yet entered his stabilization period.
Even the meaning of the group’s words from earlier, ‘It looks like that has started.’ It probably meant heat cycle. Hwang Hae-kyung, who was a minor, was not completely unaware of the rumors. There was a rumor that some players deliberately didn’t take Suppressant on the last day to enjoy the last night of the training camp to the fullest.
“It’s Omega Pheromone?”
“It’s heat cycle level? Isn’t that him over there?”
“Ah, fuck…”
The Alphas who appeared from the hallway corner over there looked at Hwang Hae-kyung and the man with meaningful expressions. Only then did Hwang Hae-kyung clench his teeth and confirm. The man’s awkward speech was not only because he was Korean-Japanese.
The Pheromone spreading in the hallway was getting thicker and thicker. Enough to stimulate the Alphas far away at once. The man really didn’t seem to have taken Hormone suppressant.
“Ugh… what, what do I do… what should I do, p-people are coming…”
As the Pheromone spread, the Alphas walked towards them. The man trembled as he looked at the Alphas and grabbed Hwang Hae-kyung’s arm. It was a gesture of instinctively seeking help from the person in front of him. It seemed that the approaching of a large number of Alphas emitting Pheromone that had resonated was felt as threatening.
In this situation, it wouldn’t be strange if a terrible crime occurred.
“Ah, hey.”
In the midst of all this, Hwang Hae-kyung frowned at the constant dizziness and pulled the man’s shoulder away. And after opening any nearby door and checking that it was empty, he hesitated to push the man in.
Omega Pheromone exploded from the man, and then the mixed Pheromone of the Alphas began to boil in the air. Other Alphas who had resonated with the man’s Pheromone were releasing their Pheromone. Moreover, the number of Alphas was difficult to count on one hand. They were probably a group of teams heading to the reception area.
A strong dizziness occurred in an instant. It was a momentary thing. Hwang Hae-kyung touched his forehead as if he had a headache, and held back the vomiting that was coming up, putting a lot of strength in his neck. His blood vessels stood out, and his stomach felt nauseous and turned upside down.
It was a symptom caused by hormone disruption due to Pheromone. Of course, Hwang Hae-kyung was an Alpha with very high hormone levels, so he had a level of hormone feedback mechanism that could defend against the large number of Pheromone that rushed in at this moment.
However, the problem was that he had not yet entered his stabilization period.
“What’s their relationship?”
“Isn’t that him? The one who’s famous on social media. Isn’t he the popular player who’s all the rage?”
“What, are they like that? But why is he letting his partner walk around leaking so much Pheromone?”
“N-no… scary, scary…”
As the Alphas approached, the man instinctively burrowed into Hwang Hae-kyung’s arms. Hwang Hae-kyung shook his head roughly again at the rising nausea and dizziness, grabbed the man’s arm, and pushed him into the empty room in front of him. And after closing the door with a bang along with the words to lock it, he began to leave the place in large strides.
“What? Where are you going? Weren’t you lovers?”
“He’s abandoning him? It seems like they’re not together.”
“Really? Hey, open this door.”
As Hwang Hae-kyung left the place, the Alphas chattered among themselves with excited expressions. At the same time, the sound of the doorknob of the room where the Omega had been pushed in being turned roughly echoed loudly in the hallway.
Hwang Hae-kyung covered his mouth and nose with his hands and only thought about leaving the place. Even in the midst of that, the voices of the Alphas coming from behind were rapidly increasing. It was the Alphas who smelled the Omega Pheromone gathering.
In fact, as a legally underage person, Hwang Hae-kyung had no right to interfere. He had already taken the best measures he could. He was an Alpha, but he didn’t touch the Omega in heat cycle, and he even checked the empty room before pushing him in and telling him to lock the door. As soon as he left this place, he was going to give a word to the security or someone else. However, that person would have to be a Beta.
As he repeated that and was about to turn the hallway corner, he heard a loud bang and the sound of the door falling from behind.
“What are you doing alone in the room, an Omega in heat cycle?”
“You’re planning to enjoy the party to the fullest too? This is a completely determined scent!”
“Hey, move! Let me go first…!”
The words were not in English, so he couldn’t understand the content. But Hwang Hae-kyung frowned at the tone of the Alphas that he heard with his sensitive ears and ran back to where he had come from. The fact that they broke down the door was already not a normal situation, and the characteristics of the Omega he had seen earlier momentarily occupied his mind.
Tanned skin, black hair, plump physique, droopy eyes.
His head was dizzy and he felt nauseous, but those characteristics kept bothering him. So he ran blindly, grabbed the shoulders of the Alphas who were lined up like a line in front of the door, pushed them away, and broke into the room.
The room was full of Alphas. It was as if all the Alphas heading to the reception area had gathered here. Moreover, Omega Pheromone was pouring out more explosively from the inside.
“What, not keeping the order?!”
“Who the hell is this?!”
“Kugh…!”
As Hwang Hae-kyung pushed the Alphas away indiscriminately and entered the room, the Alphas who were drunk from the Pheromone staggered, shouting in slurred pronunciation. Among them, there were those who recognized Hwang Hae-kyung, who was pushing them, as an enemy or a threat and tried to swing their fists, and there were many who were already emitting Pheromone hostilely and their eyes were glazed as if they were drunk.
What was clear was that there were about twenty Alphas in this place. And in the middle of them, the man was lying in a narrow corner of the room with his limbs crushed. The Omega that he had pushed in.
“Damn it, won’t you all move?!”
Hwang Hae-kyung pushed away and knocked down the Alphas who were pushing his body and emitting Pheromone indiscriminately, approached the man, and pulled him out from among the Alphas. When he grabbed his wrist and pulled him up roughly as if the other person’s shoulder would come off, the Alphas who were drunk from the Pheromone staggered and let go of the man.
The Alphas who were close to the man were already unfocused and slow to react as if they were drugged. However, since they were more violent and impulsive, Hwang Hae-kyung had to give his chin to an Alpha who was swinging his fist.
“Move, please!”
Still, Hwang Hae-kyung didn’t let go of the man’s wrist in his hand. The plump and dark wrist made Hwang Hae-kyung clench his teeth from moment to moment. His head continued to be dizzy, and it led to a headache. And his heart dropped as if his breath would stop.
“It’s okay… it’s okay, Lee Yoon-san.”
Hwang Hae-kyung said that while holding the man’s wrist, pushed the Alphas with his feet, and fought his way forward. The Alphas who were drunk from the Pheromone were rough, but rather, the place was narrow, so the space they could move in was not secured.
So they blocked Hwang Hae-kyung with their whole bodies and touched the body of the Omega he was taking, and Hwang Hae-kyung grabbed the heads of those Alphas and pushed them hard or pushed them hard with his shoulders, barely securing a path.
When Hwang Hae-kyung came out into the hallway with the man, Hwang Hae-kyung’s condition was also a mess, and the man was almost naked.
Hwang Hae-kyung roughly wiped the blood flowing down, whether his scalp was torn from being hit, and ran while holding the man. Fortunately, the man who had his wrist grabbed by him also felt that fear and the desire to survive were more important than the heat cycle fever, so he was following hard.
Hwang Hae-kyung ran hard with the man like that. He needed a place to hide him. The excited and angry Alphas were continuing to follow the two, and now they were swearing at Hwang Hae-kyung and threatening him. It was an agitated appearance with the primal anger of the Alphas who had been deprived of the Omega they were trying to violate mixed together.
Most of the management personnel had left for the reception area where the party was taking place, so even with the fairly loud commotion, there was no sign of anyone stopping or restraining them. As he turned the corner and was looking for a place to hide, the man’s steps noticeably slowed down.
“My, my leg…!”
The man shouted, panting, whether he had sprained his leg or had a cramp. And he twisted to pull out his wrist that was grabbed by Hwang Hae-kyung’s hand.
Hwang Hae-kyung only looked at the man’s hand. The man’s plump fingers and tanned skin. Hwang Hae-kyung kept feeling his senses becoming dull. But even so, he didn’t think about leaving this man behind and running away alone. The skin color and plump fingers kept holding onto Hwang Hae-kyung’s heart.
“…It’s okay.”
Hwang Hae-kyung frowned, feeling a strong headache as his vision flickered. And he said. As if trying to reassure the man, or as if vowing to himself.
“It’s okay, Yoon-san.”
“Heeuh… s-scary…”
“Nothing will happen. It’s okay. It’s okay, Yoon-san.”
I’ll do that. So you’re okay. Because I’ll protect you, you’ll be okay. Hwang Hae-kyung muttered those words, staggering for a moment at the continuous headache that made him unable to even open his eyes. And soon, at the sound of approaching footsteps, he forcibly dragged the man and pushed open any door he saw around him.
There was no time to check where it was or if there was anyone inside. Fortunately, the place they entered was a public restroom. It was also a staff restroom with the lights off.
Hwang Hae-kyung hurriedly went inside, pushed the man roughly into the toilet stall, and slammed the door shut. He was also an Alpha to hide together. Besides, his condition was already not good.
It was after a rough fight, pulling the man out from among the Alphas, and he was directly exposed to not only the Omega Pheromone in heat cycle but also the Pheromone of many Alphas. He actually felt his body getting excited and his impulses boiling more and more.
“Ah, fuck…”
After putting the man in the stall, Hwang Hae-kyung, who finally took a breath, leaned against the stall door and collapsed. The excited body, pain, headache, nausea, etc. were so severe that he slammed his injured head against the stall door to come to his senses.
Blood was flowing from his head, and his vision kept turning black and then reappearing. He couldn’t even judge whether his vision was black because he hadn’t adapted to the darkness yet, or whether his vision was cut off. Symptoms like extreme motion sickness were continuing, and they were getting worse by the second.
“…Are, are you okay?”
The man’s frightened voice came from inside the stall. Hwang Hae-kyung felt his heart calm down a little only after hearing that voice. Because it wasn’t Lee Yoon-san’s voice. But why did I feel like I was running away with Lee Yoon-san until just now?
My head was blank and dizzy. I felt an overwhelming urge to open the door and do something, and a thick Omega Pheromone kept surging out from inside the stall like waves.
“Just… uh, just Hae-kyung coming in too….”
At the man’s words from inside the stall, Hwang Hae-kyung slammed his head hard against the stall door once again. It was a desperate attempt to regain his senses. He felt like he might give in to those words if he wasn’t careful.
And gradually, the sound of multiple rough footsteps was approaching from outside the door. Fortunately, this side was dark all the way to the hallway, so it seemed to be slowing down their search. But the biggest reason was that they were intoxicated with excitement and anger, which clouded their judgment.
At that moment, all of Hwang Hae-kyung’s senses faded away along with an unpleasant ringing in his ears. He felt like he was falling into a deep tank, his breath stopping for a moment, and all his senses became faintly dull. It was like looking at the outside situation while submerged in a tank full of water. All his senses seemed detached from reality. Even the words he began to utter were not of his own will.
It felt like being drugged.
“I told you to be careful….”
Hwang Hae-kyung muttered. But he didn’t even feel like he was speaking. He wasn’t saying it consciously, wasn’t saying it thoughtfully.
He tried to slam his head against the wall again to regain his senses, but even that didn’t work as he wanted. It was a terrible feeling, a terrible experience. And after a moment of silence, the man inside, emitting Pheromones, spoke in a trembling voice.
“Do you… uh, just, want to… do it?”
Hwang Hae-kyung burst out laughing without realizing it. Even though he was out of his mind and couldn’t think, he instinctively understood why the man was saying such a thing. He was in Heat cycle and needed an Alpha, and Hwang Hae-kyung, who had saved him from the Alphas who were rushing at him like beasts, probably looked like a savior or a hero.
“No….”
But Hwang Hae-kyung’s mouth immediately refused. Ironically, he felt like he had momentarily regained his senses at the man’s words.
“Why…? Do you have a girlfriend, a lover…?”
At the Omega’s words, Hwang Hae-kyung made a slightly bewildered expression.
“…No.”
“Then why…? You’re almost, just a little, you’ll be an adult in Korean age… I mean… I’ll understand….”
The man seemed to think that Hwang Hae-kyung was refusing him because he was only nineteen, and he argued earnestly. In fact, he wasn’t wrong. It was legally prohibited, but there were quite a few rumors of people having sexual experiences in their teens.
But Hwang Hae-kyung’s mouth slowly uttered words of refusal again. It was a very slow and slightly slurred way of speaking, as if he were drunk.
“I have someone… I’m waiting for.”
“……”
“Not me… she has to grow up first….”
Hwang Hae-kyung barely finished speaking, gasping for breath due to excitement. What was clear was that the words were not the result of Hwang Hae-kyung’s own thoughts. It was closer to unconsciousness. Hwang Hae-kyung himself couldn’t even identify who the ‘someone I’m waiting for’ was.
However, what kept coming to mind was chocolate-colored skin, drooping eyes, and a mouth that smiled kindly and gently.
Hwang Hae-kyung leaned against the toilet stall door like a drunk man who couldn’t control his body. “I was told to be careful of Omegas,” he mumbled.
“…Ah, okay….”
Then a voice of reluctant agreement came from inside. The Pheromone emanating from him was even thicker, but he seemed to have understood Hwang Hae-kyung’s words. Of course, the man’s voice and tone inside were also dull, like someone who hadn’t woken up from anesthesia, so it was impossible to know if it was a valid understanding.
Still, Hwang Hae-kyung unknowingly felt a little relieved at the words he heard from inside. The fact that the Alphas’ footsteps were gradually moving away was also a factor that relaxed his mind.
“Ugh…!”
At that moment, Hwang Hae-kyung’s Alpha Pheromone exploded like a burst. It was unstoppable in an instant, and the moment Hwang Hae-kyung began to struggle to control his Pheromone, the man inside opened the stall door with his own hands and poured out.
He clung to Hwang Hae-kyung and tried to make skinship. His eyes were unfocused, as if his whole body had already been taken over by Hwang Hae-kyung’s Pheromone, his flushed excitement was clear, and he couldn’t be reasoned with. It was as if it was a lie that he had somehow managed to endure the Pheromones of the many Alphas until just now, and he immediately collapsed and begged Hwang Hae-kyung, yet he made a painful expression.
“S-sorry… really, sorry….”
He dug into Hwang Hae-kyung’s arms and tried to take off his clothes, apologizing like a mantra. But he still didn’t stop what he was doing. He tried to subdue Hwang Hae-kyung with his Judo athlete’s unique solid and sturdy physique, but he seemed to be in pain because Hwang Hae-kyung’s physique was so large.
He was clearly someone who had understood him and accepted his rejection until just now. He had understood Hwang Hae-kyung’s words, and had agreed and stepped back. But with just one Pheromone, he changed his attitude like flipping his hand. The mouth and expression that apologized were desperate, but the gestures that tried to take off his clothes were urgent and desperate.
It wasn’t a matter of emotion. It was because of the Pheromone. The Pheromone made people act like this. Whether they liked it or not, regardless of their feelings and intentions, they just craved and obeyed the other person like beasts. They couldn’t even think of anything else because of the bursting thirst and desire.
It made things that were against their will seem like things they wanted to do. The Pheromone, to people. It was a bizarre spectacle of submission. It was the moment when the Pheromone trampled on a human’s ego and made them go into Heat cycle in the most miserable way. It made them want what they didn’t want. His Pheromone was mercilessly crushing this Omega’s ego.
Hwang Hae-kyung stared at the man with dazed eyes. He didn’t see his face. The man’s collapsed expression that he had glimpsed was so shocking that he turned his gaze away before that expression was deeply etched in his mind, and just stared at his dark skin.
He mechanically reached out to grab the man’s shoulder, but stopped. The action he was about to take was clearly to grab this man and push or throw him away, but the moment he touched his body, he instinctively wondered if that was possible. Wasn’t he an Omega in Heat cycle?
The man, completely dominated by Hwang Hae-kyung’s Pheromone, was craving sexual release from him, and Hwang Hae-kyung was also excited. However, only a sliver of something was stopping Hwang Hae-kyung’s actions.
And at that moment, the Alphas burst into the bathroom. They must have smelled Hwang Hae-kyung’s strongly bursting Pheromone and the Omega Pheromone that burst out in response and found them. Hwang Hae-kyung watched all those moments as if he were an observer, and even stopped trying to control his Pheromone.
However, to defend against the Alphas’ threatening Pheromones that were spewing out menacingly, he emitted his own threatening Pheromone. Hwang Hae-kyung’s Pheromone spread quickly like poisonous smoke, filling the narrow bathroom. It was a Pheromone with a concentration dense enough to dominate and shake the bodies of more than twenty Alphas and Omegas in an instant.
“Cough, cough…!”
“Cough, ugh….”
The Alphas, whose conditions were completely ruined by the hormonal and nervous system disruption, fell to the floor one by one. Hwang Hae-kyung stared blankly at them, then slowly got up and approached those among them who had bags, rummaging through them as if looking for something. They must have been heading to the reception hall where the party was, so he seemed to think they would definitely have Suppressants. His touch was slow but blindly, tenaciously so.
And he gathered dozens of Suppressants he found from the Alphas at once and chewed and swallowed them. It was a desperate act, like a drug addict swallowing drugs. Only after chewing and swallowing the Suppressants he found in that way two more times, dozens of pills each time, was Hwang Hae-kyung able to collapse like the other Alphas in that place.
It was the night of the last day of the Olympics.
✧✧✧
Hwang Hae-kyung opened his eyes again the next day. Hwang Hae-kyung opened his eyes in a hospital in Japan and did not remember some of the events of the previous day. The athletes who were found with him also woke up in the hospital, but most of them did not fully remember what had happened to them.
However, in light of the circumstances, the athletes involved in the scandalous incident were from various countries, and there was no one who could give a proper statement, so everyone was keeping quiet about it.
Therefore, nothing happened externally until Hwang Hae-kyung returned to Korea.
Hwang Hae-kyung, who returned to Korea, had to be hospitalized again due to the aftereffects, and he roughly told Hwang Jun-won, who had rushed over in surprise, and the doctor about the circumstances he knew. And then he fell into a long sleep as if he had fainted again.
After that, it was Hwang Jun-won’s responsibility. Hwang Jun-won had strong doubts about his son’s condition and symptoms and investigated the incident at the Japanese athletes’ village. He hired local people, interviewed and bribed officials at the athletes’ village at the time.
Hwang Jun-won, who had roughly figured out the circumstances of the incident, could not help but be furious.
The Alpha athletes who were involved in the incident at the time were suffering from the aftereffects of Hwang Hae-kyung’s unstable, rampaging Pheromone. Moreover, no one properly remembered what had happened at the time of the accident. It was an aftereffect of the nervous system being shaken and some nerve cells being damaged. Because of this, they soon announced their retirement or went under the radar under the guise of taking a break. Therefore, the athletes’ positions and the host country’s hush-hush atmosphere continued as if they were natural.
And from the side of the Korean-Japanese Judo athlete, the only Omega among the athletes, no one came forward to try to resolve the situation. The coaching staff who were responsible for the athlete, as well as the athletes on the same team, just kept their mouths shut and pretended not to know.
The athlete claimed that on the day of the incident, another athlete at the party had dissuaded him from taking Suppressants, saying, “Don’t be so old-fashioned and enjoy the last day,” but Hwang Jun-won was the only one who listened to him.
It wasn’t because the victim athlete was an Omega. It was just that most people wanted the incident to be covered up, all the testimonies of those involved in the incident were unclear, and the victim Omega’s position within the team itself was not good. Moreover, there was a situation where another victim was caused by the victim.
In a situation of mutual biting, the officials all chose to avoid or ignore the testimony, as if they were playing a game of passing the buck.
In the end, the incident that day did not come to light. Hwang Jun-won only left a reminder to the victim Omega athlete to tell him if he needed help with subtle discrimination or bullying in the future.
If Hwang Hae-kyung’s damage was brought up as a problem, it could have been done, but the victim Omega did not want the matter to be blown out of proportion. Since both the victim and the perpetrator were athletes, they were afraid that the matter would be blown out of proportion the moment it was made public, and that they would be put on people’s chopping block. Hwang Jun-won didn’t know, but he was secretly pricked by the fact that he had approached Hwang Hae-kyung first.
Even though it was an action caused by the instigation of those around him, he was bothered by the fact that he had expressed his feelings for Hwang Hae-kyung first. As much as that, it was a difficult problem when it came to the immediate realistic aspects.
Moreover, he didn’t want to reveal the fact that he, an Omega, had been damaged by the Pheromone of Hwang Hae-kyung, an Alpha. The fact that a Second gendered being was hormonally damaged by another person and had aftereffects was virtually a strong rejection or attack.
Even though an Alpha’s Pheromone would not act aggressively on an Omega, he was threatened like other Alphas, was damaged, and eventually had aftereffects. Although the degree was clearly weaker than the other Alphas who were in the room at the time, it was never common for an Alpha to pour out a threatening Pheromone, not a seductive one, on an Omega. That was the most humiliating rejection for an Omega.
Hwang Hae-kyung, who was a minor at the time, also suffered from endocrine disruption aftereffects due to Pheromones.
He slept for a long time as if he had fainted, and he didn’t spend much time awake. When he was awake, he often had headaches, chills, and nausea, and sometimes his hands trembled. All of them were to the point where it was difficult to live a normal life. He also showed symptoms of depression, became sensitive, and had to be confined to a Pheromone intensive care unit and treated due to the near-lethal dose of Suppressants he had swallowed.
Therefore, he was not in a state where he could give a consistent statement for the accusation.
When he heard the doctor’s opinion that Hwang Hae-kyung had not died and had only suffered from acute poisoning because all the Suppressants he had swallowed were the same type of international standard Suppressant, Hwang Jun-won’s heart sank.
Decisively, Hwang Hae-kyung did not remember that moment when the incident occurred.
“If it’s psychogenic, the memory will return later, but if it’s organic, the memory will never return.”
The doctor told Hwang Jun-won and Ahn Sun-mi, who were his guardians.
“The patient is highly sensitive to Pheromones and received a large number of Pheromone attacks in an unstable state. The surge and disruption of hormone secretion due to Pheromones was severe, and some of the nervous system was shaken due to the side effects of endocrine disruption. As you know, Pheromones are substances that move hormones, and hormones affect the entire body and the entire nervous system. In the patient’s case, his hormone levels are usually high, but he also forms anti-hormones that offset the disrupting substances well, and his hormone feedback is also superior, so we can say that the aftereffects have remained at the current level.”
The doctor explained in a calm tone why Hwang Hae-kyung might be in better condition than the other athletes. He also added that in general, when such unstable minor Alphas or Omegas are covered in the threatening Pheromones and Heat cycle Pheromones of many people of the same gender, they often suffer from nervous system disorders. In short, Hwang Hae-kyung was an unstable minor, but his hormone levels were high, so he was able to remain in his current state.
Hwang Jun-won and Ahn Sun-mi stroked their chests at that part, but they couldn’t rest assured because Hwang Hae-kyung wasn’t completely free of aftereffects.
“The child says he doesn’t remember the memory of that one hour. He seems to remember coming out of the reception hall….”
“As I said, if it’s psychogenic, the memory will return even if it takes some time. The memory device functioned properly, but it’s a case where it’s not output due to psychological problems. In that case, the memory is often revived when the mind and body, including hormones, are stabilized or when something triggers the memory. Or, it may naturally come to mind over time.”
“Then, in the case where the memory doesn’t return….”
“Organic is a problem caused by physical illness or impact. It can be said that the memory itself is not stored in a state where the hippocampus of the brain is paralyzed. There is no information stored in the brain at all, so there is no memory to recall. It’s often called a ‘blackout,’ but in this case, the memory will never return.”
In the end, all of this happened because ‘Pheromones touched the hormones.’ Hwang Hae-kyung’s partial amnesia as well.
The couple couldn’t help but have many thoughts at the doctor’s words.
As Hwang Jun-won had found out, the circumstances were that Hwang Hae-kyung had tried to prevent the Omega gang rape by Alphas at the Japanese athletes’ village, and that’s what had happened. Fortunately, there was one CCTV camera in the hallway, so he was able to secure data of Hwang Hae-kyung running away with the Omega, so he was able to find out the circumstances.
Therefore, the only thing Hwang Jun-won could do was to use the power of the company and the secured CCTV data to point out the host country’s poor management and pressure the coaches of the athletes involved to discipline or retire the athletes.
At the time, Hwang Jun-won had partially withdrawn from his company work and hired international lawyers from various countries to prepare a large-scale accusation against the Olympic Organizing Committee. It was also his and the Korean volleyball coaching staff’s responsibility to prevent the incident from being prematurely distorted and leaked out in an unprepared situation.
Of course, since it was close to a Pheromone accident, not all of Hwang Jun-won’s pressure was accepted, but even this would have been impossible if Hwang Jun-won had not quickly secured evidence or if he had not had the power of the company.
Hwang Jun-won and the Korean volleyball team’s coaching staff were the only ones who wanted to investigate the truth, and everyone except them wanted to bury it.
Fortunately, there was evidence left, so his son’s innocence was certain. However, there was a concern about whether it was right to inform Hwang Hae-kyung, the person involved, about this matter. He was worried that reminding Hwang Hae-kyung, who had released threatening Pheromones against a large number of Alphas, of this incident would leave him with trauma.
The incident was buried without a trace while he was agonizing over it, and it seemed unlikely that it would ever come to light. In this situation, was it necessary to remind or inform his son about the details of that incident, which lasted less than an hour? Hwang Jun-won had to struggle for a long time.
He judged that it was right to tell him if he was going to remember it later anyway, but he also thought that if it was a complete blackout that he would never recall for the rest of his life, there was no need to tell Hwang Hae-kyung about that situation, which would have been violent for him as well.
Even if Hwang Hae-kyung were to find out the circumstances of that missing hour, there would be no significant change in the situation. Rather, it could only create mental trauma.
In addition, the Alphas and Omegas involved in the incident were all athletes from other countries, and it seemed unlikely that Hwang Hae-kyung would ever see them again. They returned to their home countries, and soon after, one by one, they either retired or were disciplined. Even those who weren’t quietly faded away due to hormonal and health problems.
While he was continuing to worry, Hwang Hae-kyung, who was isolated in the intensive care unit and receiving Pheromone treatment, said to his parents with a window between them.
“I’m going to quit exercising now.”
It seemed that he had made the decision because of the aftereffects left by the hormonal disturbance. There were still many ongoing aftereffects, such as trembling hands, nausea like motion sickness, and dizziness. The doctor said that the aftereffects would disappear with treatment, but he could not give a definite answer as to how long the treatment would take. He only gave the opinion that there were individual differences. Therefore, the couple eventually respected their son’s decision.
In addition, Hwang Hae-kyung had to be isolated in the intensive care unit for a while to receive Pheromone treatment. This was because his Pheromone emission was blocked due to an overdose of Suppressant.
Hormone suppressants are drugs that regulate the cycle of hormones in the body and affect Pheromones, but Pheromone suppressants are drugs that immediately block Pheromone emission—preventing Knotting is a side effect of Pheromone suppressants—Hormone suppressants are safer, but Pheromone suppressants are more immediate in their effect.
The couple still had to meet their son through the glass window. This was because the intensive care unit for Pheromone treatment did not allow face-to-face visits, and even doctors and nurses who were Second gendered beings could not enter.
In particular, Hwang Jun-won came to his son’s intensive care unit window every day for a visit that wasn’t really a visit. Hwang Hae-kyung didn’t say much about his father’s actions, but he learned that his father was quite a tearful person during that time.
And one day, after his father’s visits through the glass window had continued for more than a week, he quietly asked.
“Did I perhaps… do something disappointing?”
It was a question about his empty memory. He must have hesitated and worried about it many times.
“No. Absolutely not.”
Hwang Jun-won answered his son’s question as if hammering it in. He didn’t know who Hwang Hae-kyung was referring to when he said ‘disappointing,’ but he wanted to give him confidence.
“Okay, then.”
Hwang Hae-kyung sighed and smiled at his father’s words, then went back to bed. He looked somehow relieved, so Hwang Jun-won had to stare at his son for a long time.
It was much later that he realized that his quick-witted son had seen his parents’ attitude and was not suddenly mentioning disappointment.
✧✧✧
The treatment continued for quite a long time. It was three weeks after his hospitalization that Hwang Hae-kyung was able to leave the intensive care unit, and even after that, outpatient treatment for aftereffects continued. And while the treatment continued, Hwang Hae-kyung studied.
He didn’t have any particular goal. He just had nothing to do while he was in the intensive care unit, and since he had decided to quit exercising, he needed something else to focus on. And the task in front of him right now was the college entrance exam.
Surprisingly, he didn’t feel much regret or despair about quitting volleyball. He just felt that he had done enough, and he repeated to himself that he should be satisfied with the fact that he had worked hard and reached the peak of his career.
Since he was going to become a coach or join his father’s company when he retired from his career anyway, he decided to think that the time had been moved up a little.
Around that time, Hwang Jun-won decided to keep silent about Hwang Hae-kyung’s missing hour. No, at least he decided not to open his mouth first. He was going to tell him what he had found out if he remembered it while receiving treatment, and he judged that it was better not to say anything if it was a blackout.
He wondered if he should say something like, ‘You saved an Omega,’ but then he remembered the face of the victimized Omega who had wanted to bury the matter.
The news that he was preparing for a new life, raising the issue of discrimination against Korean-Japanese in the team, and the fact that all the Alpha athletes involved in the incident at the time had given up their careers due to hormone-related diseases, also made Hwang Jun-won think a lot.
He was curious whether the victimized Omega had also chosen a different path because of the aftereffects of being exposed to Hwang Hae-kyung’s Pheromones, but he never contacted Hwang Jun-won, even while publicizing the discrimination he had received.
Above all, his son’s question, which he had asked with momentary anxiety, made Hwang Jun-won think a lot.
‘Did I perhaps do something disappointing?’
He remembers what his son’s expression was like at that moment when he asked that question. Even the attitude of being relieved at the word ‘no’ and not being curious beyond that. At that moment, Hwang Hae-kyung probably concluded that he, who had not yet entered a stable period, had been hit by someone else’s Pheromones while passing by.
It was a smooth conclusion because the world was quiet about the incident.
Therefore, Hwang Hae-kyung seemed to have thrown off some of the burden on his mind. At least, that’s how it looked to Hwang Jun-won.
If so, he thought it was right to let it pass like this. If Hwang Hae-kyung was the only one who had a piece of the incident that everyone had made ‘never happened,’ he would have to explain where that piece came from, but if Hwang Hae-kyung didn’t even have that piece, was there any need to talk about something that had become ‘never happened’?
In addition, all the athletes involved in the incident only avoided legal punishment, but they were burdened with the hormone problems caused by Hwang Hae-kyung’s Pheromones as if it were a punishment.
Therefore, they would not be able to properly function as Second gendered beings unless the disease problem was resolved. In the worst case, there was a high probability that hormone-related disorders would remain permanently.
The end of the fierce and long contemplation was ultimately ‘Don’t come forward and remind him.” Hwang Hae-kyung did not show any trauma responses to Omegas or other Alphas after the incident, and he had no reaction in narrow places such as public restrooms or in specific spaces. His reaction to other people’s Pheromones was also at a normal level.
Above all, he no longer asked about the missing hour, and his fame and popularity were at their peak.
There were many people who were looking for Hwang Hae-kyung, who had become quiet after not being selected for the Olympics, but that was it.
Of course, some people made malicious speculations about Hwang Hae-kyung’s whereabouts, who had become quiet. For a while, there was a lot of noise online with wrecker videos filled with false information, saying ‘The real reason why Hwang Hae-kyung, who should be winning Olympic gold medals and filming commercials, is quiet,’ and communities and SNS were gossiping about speculative rumors among themselves, but that was just a little more severe than what Hwang Hae-kyung had chronically experienced since he was a child model. So it wasn’t new.
After Hwang Jun-won took comprehensive legal action, the noisy words quickly subsided. After the tabloids subsided, Hwang Hae-kyung’s fans took it upon themselves to speak out. The saying that there was no reason for an Alpha from a family that runs a company to film commercials in a flashy way was quite plausible.
It was not an environment where Hwang Hae-kyung had to separately prepare athlete training expenses or his coaching staff expenses for the Hubae of wealthy Semyung High School. Therefore, the opinion that gold medalist Hwang Hae-kyung was quietly taking a break became the mainstream, and time passed.
Around the time Hwang Hae-kyung’s isolation treatment ended, Ham Se-jin and Lee Seok-jae finally came to visit when visits became possible. Lee Seok-jae, who had not been selected for the Olympics, stayed by Hwang Hae-kyung’s side and watched webtoons on his tablet PC all day and night before returning, and Ham Se-jin, who seemed to have something to say, consulted Hwang Hae-kyung about her retirement.
Ham Se-jin was an athlete and Alpha who was in the athlete village reception hall at the time. She only guessed that there was some kind of accident involving Omegas and Alphas, and that Hwang Hae-kyung was involved. However, everyone kept silent about the details, so she couldn’t know.
From Ham Se-jin’s point of view, Hwang Hae-kyung’s condition was far better than other Alphas, so she just guessed that he was affected by Pheromones while passing by. She already knew that Hwang Hae-kyung was an Alpha who had not yet been judged to be in a stable period, so he could be affected by even a small amount of Pheromones.
The situation in the reception hall at the time, as she remembers it, was also a mess. Those who were drunk and excited could not control their impulses and emotions caused by Pheromones, and there were disturbances everywhere. The atmosphere was too much for the athlete village management personnel recruited from the host country.
In addition, the host country’s lack of facility management and the shortage of athlete village staff were actually issues that had been talked about a lot since the beginning of the Games.
So that day remained a shock to Ham Se-jin as well. It was shocking that it had become a custom for Second gendered beings athletes to spend an excessively free night on the last day of the Olympics, and she felt skeptical about ‘Pheromones.’
Eventually, after that visit, Semyung High School lost the ace of the men’s and women’s volleyball teams.
On the other hand, Hwang Hae-kyung had been hesitating to contact Lee Yoon-san ever since he returned to Korea. However, he seemed to have lost his cell phone at the reception hall or at the scene of the accident, and after arriving in Korea, he was often in the hospital receiving isolation treatment and sleeping, so he kept forgetting about his cell phone. Abnormal forgetfulness was also one of the aftereffects of damage to the hormone mechanism and nervous system.
Above all, he used the same account linked to his tablet PC, so he didn’t have much inconvenience without a cell phone. However, whenever he thought about not being able to contact Lee Yoon-san, he felt impatient and frustrated.
At first, Hwang Hae-kyung was worried that he might have done something he shouldn’t have at ‘that’ accident site. He had heard that it was an accident related to Pheromones, and his overall condition was a mess after he woke up, so he couldn’t think that it was a minor accident.
So he didn’t have the confidence to contact Lee Yoon-san. If he contacted Lee Yoon-san, he would have to tell him about his current condition, but he was worried that he would only cause unnecessary worry in a situation where they couldn’t even meet. And the one hour that he didn’t remember bothered him. He couldn’t remember what had happened at all, so there was no way to explain this missing hour.
Since it was an accident related to ‘Pheromones,’ he may have thought that he had committed an irreversible act. That suspicion suddenly grew into self-loathing and distrust in himself in his daily life.
Whenever that happened, Hwang Hae-kyung felt a despair as if he had lost the right to contact Lee Yoon-san. Because he was caught up in a ‘Pheromone accident.’
It was an abnormal way of thinking and an extreme emotion, but it was also a type of aftereffect.
Objectively speaking, this was also a contradictory thought. To feel like he had been deprived of the right to contact Lee Yoon-san because he was caught up in a Pheromone accident. It was closer to delusion than thinking of Lee Yoon-san as a ‘Hyung.’ Of course, the person involved was not aware of it.
Then he finally asked his father. Whether he had done something to disappoint ‘someone.’ He thought that it wasn’t the case based on his family’s attitude, but he wanted to rely on a definite answer and needed a basis to escape from anxiety even a little.
Fortunately, as expected, the answer was ‘no,’ but unfortunately, it did not completely erase the suspicion that remained at the base of Hwang Hae-kyung’s mind. The discomfort of the empty memory created suspicion even when he tried to erase it.
While he was fighting against his suspicion of himself, he suddenly realized that Lee Yoon-san was not contacting him either. The last contact Lee Yoon-san sent was on the day Hwang Hae-kyung returned home in a daze. There were no DMs after that. Hwang Hae-kyung had many thoughts when he realized that fact. And he became depressed.
He didn’t even think that he couldn’t check the contacts that came in as text messages on his lost cell phone. It was difficult for him to think deeply about one worry and thought. It was as if he had dozens or hundreds of videos turned on in his head at the same time.
It was later that he learned that it was depression and anxiety caused by disturbed hormone secretion. Hwang Hae-kyung, whose hormones and nervous system had been shaken in an unstable state, was actually more broken than he thought. However, it was only inconspicuous compared to the aftereffects that were visible on the outside.
So more time passed. In the meantime, Hwang Hae-kyung bought a new cell phone, but he did not contact Lee Yoon-san. The repeated depression, anxiety, and suspicion of himself kept breaking his will to contact him first and interfered by planting worries.
It was only when the external wounds had healed completely and the headaches, nausea, and hand tremors had subsided a lot that Hwang Hae-kyung recognized his condition and visited the Department of Neuropsychiatry. He had visited it in the early stages of treatment, but it was a field that he had decided to see after first stabilizing his hormones through Second gendered beings medicine treatment.
“Are you reluctant to release Pheromones?”
“It’s okay to threaten or just let them flow. But…”
“It’s difficult to use Pheromones to seduce someone.”
“I’m reluctant. It doesn’t seem to work well either.”
When Hwang Hae-kyung received Pheromones in the intensive care unit while being isolated, there was only one treatment he received. It was to pour out the Pheromones that were blocked by the drug.
It was important to release the trapped Pheromones as much as possible before they were trapped in his body and touched his nervous system or caused other problems, so it was necessary to emit Pheromones in every possible way.
So he tried all sorts of methods, but as soon as he thought about sex, his Pheromone emission stopped completely. At the same time, he felt chills and his spine tingled. An unknown sense of guilt, as if he was doing something he shouldn’t be doing, dominated his mind, and the subsequent depression and occasional emotional excess resembled fear.
The doctor said it was a kind of defense mechanism. And from the day he had that consultation, Hwang Hae-kyung often suffered from strange nightmares. It was a dream of pinning down an Omega with dark skin and drooping eyes and pouring Pheromones on him. The Omega screamed and resisted, saying he didn’t like it, but when he was submerged in Hwang Hae-kyung’s Pheromones, he changed his words.
And he touched Hwang Hae-kyung’s body and begged for Pheromones and skinship. Then, ironically, Hwang Hae-kyung felt strangeness and fear. He felt that his Pheromones, which ate up the other person’s will and emotions and only increased excitement, were terrible.
In his dream, Hwang Hae-kyung forced the dark-skinned Omega boy without knowing that the Pheromones he was pouring out were coercion, and the Omega boy eventually forgot that he was being forced and obeyed. That terrible phenomenon all happened in an instant as he poured out Pheromones to excite and arouse the other person.
Although Hwang Hae-kyung forgot the contents when he woke up from the dream, he could not erase the discomfort and terrible feeling. That feeling resembled guilt, tormenting and bothering Hwang Hae-kyung like the traces of cold sweat that stuck to his whole body.
“Ugh…”
That day was also one of those days. A day when he had a dream but didn’t remember it, and only had a feeling that made him miserable. A day when he woke up with his whole body soaked in cold sweat. Hwang Hae-kyung picked up his cell phone to check the time, and after checking the screen, he pressed other apps for no reason. It was an action he took because he didn’t feel like going back to sleep.
He rarely went to Instagram these days. It was an app that he didn’t usually press unless he got a notification or wanted to see Lee Yoon-san’s feed. Then suddenly, his thoughts stopped at Lee Yoon-san’s name.
And he recalled it again. The fact that Lee Yoon-san is an Omega.
“……”
Then an unknown fear washed over him.
‘Can I, who has experienced a Pheromone accident, say that I am safe for Lee Yoon-san? Me, who is still going to treatment?’
Fear brought unknown anxiety. It was like being hit in the back of the head by a fact he had overlooked. He had directly experienced the damage that a minor who had not entered a stable period could suffer when experiencing physical disturbance due to Pheromones.
In the end, he had no choice but to delete the SNS app he had been staring at for a long time. Lee Yoon-san was still a minor, and Hwang Hae-kyung was extremely doubtful and anxious about himself. He would suddenly want to see him and be curious about him, but he would stop himself, thinking it wasn’t the right time yet.
He couldn’t guarantee that he would be able to restrain himself as he had in the past, especially in his current messed-up state.
No, in fact, he had already gone to Lee Yoon-san twice in the past, unable to resist his impulses. Even back then, when nothing happened, he had done that, so he had no confidence that he wouldn’t do it now.
So he decided to just endure it. Fortunately, his parents were still maintaining a friendly relationship with Lee Yoon-san’s mothers, so he was comforted by the thought that he could somehow contact him when he got better.
“There’s someone I want to contact…”
“Trying to contact someone you want to see can be a good experience.”
“But he’s still young. He’s a year younger than me. And he’s an Omega. He probably hasn’t been certified as stable yet.”
“Ah…”
“I had this thought. What if I’m just one of those Alphas who’s trying to take advantage of him?”
Hwang Hae-kyung talked about someone else for the first time during his counseling session. It had never happened before.
But he soon found even that assumption he had made disgusting. The fact that he had made such an assumption about someone he had been protecting as a younger brother, just because he was an Omega, made him feel disgusted and uncomfortable with himself.
“I want him to be safe.”
“It seems like he’s a friend you care about a lot.”
“As a Hyung.”
That way, I won’t be a danger to him. Hwang Hae-kyung muttered and turned his gaze out the window. After that, he didn’t say anything. He just shared a quiet silence with the counselor while drinking tea, and sat comfortably, breathing evenly.
As a result, it took Hwang Hae-kyung more than a year to be certified as stable as an Alpha. Fortunately, Lee Yoon-san was still a minor during that time, so he had an excuse not to contact him. Even if he did contact him, he couldn’t go to see him as he had before, and in principle, they shouldn’t be seeing each other. Also, seeing that there was no special contact from Lee Yoon-san, it was possible that he wasn’t particularly curious about him.
He was a little disappointed, but he tried to comfort himself, saying that it couldn’t be helped. They weren’t dating, they were just in contact. Even if they were close as Hyung and younger brother, that might have only been from Hwang Hae-kyung’s point of view. Besides, he thought he shouldn’t disturb Lee Yoon-san, who was preparing for his college entrance exams.
After that, by the time the mental overstimulation caused by depression and anxiety had disappeared and he no longer needed to go to the hospital, it was already too late and he felt too ashamed. It might seem like an unlike hesitation, but it couldn’t be helped.
Hwang Hae-kyung had actually been a little nervous when dealing with Lee Yoon-san in the past, and he had thought a lot and hesitated more than usual. He had only regarded all those feelings as “awkwardness he felt whenever he contacted him after a long time.”
And Hwang Hae-kyung thought. Seeing that Lee Yoon-san wasn’t contacting him either, he must be dating someone he liked. In fact, there was a high probability of that. He was sure that someone must have already taken such a cute kid a long time ago. Moreover, he must have just turned twenty.
Hwang Hae-kyung was sure that Lee Yoon-san must be loved by someone. Wasn’t he the kind of kid who couldn’t help but be loved? Lee Yoon-san was the kid who had made his parents fall in love with him helplessly, and he was the one who had made even him, who had met him again, find him cute. So Hwang Hae-kyung was sure that he must be loved by someone else.
Then, an unknown sense of inferiority washed over him.
Hwang Hae-kyung wished, even hypocritically, that Lee Yoon-san had met a safe partner. No, if he only thought about Lee Yoon-san, he was sincere. When he thought about Lee Yoon-san’s partner, whom he didn’t know, his stomach would sometimes boil and his jaw would clench, but he dismissed that as just because he loved Lee Yoon-san so much. Like an overprotective family member.
Nevertheless, he thought of Lee Yoon-san quite often, and he felt an unknown sense of regret and pity. He also dismissed all those feelings as just the feelings of being separated from a younger brother he used to contact.
But in reality, he didn’t notice anyone else, and whenever he saw someone with dark skin and droopy eyes, he would always look back.
From the moment he thought that Lee Yoon-san had become an adult and was dating someone, he would think of Lee Yoon-san’s face every time he was in Heat cycle.
It wasn’t that he thought of him as an object of Heat cycle. It wasn’t such a simple impulse or emotion.
Rather, whenever his thoughts leaned in that direction, Hwang Hae-kyung would try to scatter his thoughts by banging his head against the solid wall of the residence. It was never easy, but if he overlaid self-loathing and guilt on top of his desires, he would regain his senses a little.
“As I’ve been telling you since the beginning of your treatment, it’s still better to refrain from using Pheromone Suppressant as much as possible, even during your Heat cycle.”
“I know.”
“But why do you insist on asking for a prescription every time…?”
“Just, ‘in case’.”
“……”
“Because there’s a ‘what if’.”
Whenever he visited the Second gendered beings medicine department to undergo hormone level and Pheromone tests, and to get a prescription for medication to prepare for the Heat cycle that came every two months, a struggle would break out between the doctor and Hwang Hae-kyung.
“There’s someone I used to contact, and our families are close. I don’t know when I’ll run into him, and he’s an Omega.”
“…Patient, this medication contains psychotropic ingredients and is a drug with no ceiling effect3) like narcotic analgesics, so side effects may occur.”
“It’s okay.”
I want him to be safe from me. Hwang Hae-kyung added and didn’t listen to any further persuasion.
As a doctor, Hwang Hae-kyung’s high hormone levels alone could be grounds for prescribing medication, so he was in a position where he couldn’t refuse to the end.
He didn’t want to be a danger to Lee Yoon-san, the only Omega he knew, even in his imagination or assumptions. He was swept away by emotions that he himself couldn’t define from moment to moment, but he tried not to think about them deeply. He was just obsessed with the idea that he shouldn’t be an Alpha in front of him because he was a ‘Hyung’. That way, he would be safe from him.
When Heat cycle came, he felt regretful and greedy, and at that moment, he felt guilty, and when his desires became violent, he was also glad that Lee Yoon-san wasn’t there. Because Lee Yoon-san wasn’t there. Then, he would become furious at Lee Yoon-san’s partner, whom he didn’t even know, and he would hate his own sexual Pheromone.
He couldn’t stand the thought of himself in Heat cycle, recognizing and thinking of even the kid he considered a younger brother as an Omega. So he didn’t contact Lee Yoon-san even after his hormone levels returned to normal.
No, it would be more accurate to say that he postponed it. He thought it was right to contact him at least when he became a little more detached from the object of Lee Yoon-san. Because he was a ‘Hyung’.
But from some point on, he would casually try to find out if he could hear news about Lee Yoon-san from his parents, and he would deliberately stay cooped up at home when his parents were home. He listened carefully in case his parents, who were still maintaining a friendship with Lee Yoon-san’s mothers, would have a phone call with them.
If he heard that Lee Yoon-san wasn’t being loved by someone he was dating, he would decide to run to him right away, using that as an excuse. As if he were a ‘Hyung protecting his younger brother’.
He thought it was an excessive delusion, but he couldn’t help it. From the moment Lee Yoon-san turned twenty, Hwang Hae-kyung had already been thinking and assuming a lot about him.
And while he was staying home often for that purpose, his parents recognized him as a ‘homebody’.
But all that effort was shattered in just half a year. During the summer vacation when he was twenty-one, he ended up facing Lee Yoon-san at a second house in Jeju Island, where he had been dragged by his friends without anything to do.
At that moment, Hwang Hae-kyung experienced the walls and the final line within him, which he had endured as if he were holding on, collapsing helplessly. Just by facing him up close, everything he had built up and endured alone during the time he hadn’t seen his face and hadn’t contacted him collapsed in an instant.
That was how Hwang Hae-kyung realized his second reunion with Lee Yoon-san.