By Zephyria 
It was something he brought up because he thought there was nothing he couldn’t say, but on the other hand, he was also curious about the reaction. Although, judging from his attitude so far, he didn’t have high expectations.
Eun-ha observed Yeon-jun’s face as he sat shoulder to shoulder with him. Yeon-jun, who had paused as if reacting to the intense gaze, blinked a beat later, mulling over what he had heard.
Soon, the eyes that met his gradually clouded over. Yeon-jun, who bit his lower lip and lowered his gaze, slowly met his eyes again after a moment of silence. The answer that followed was not far from what he had expected.
“I see.”
“……”
“That’s unexpected. I didn’t think Hyung would like that kind of thing.”
The voice, with its constant pitch, was close to a critique. How did he come to think that? Just as he was about to wonder, Yeon-jun, who had read his curiosity, added.
“Hyung is kind of independent, isn’t he?”
“……Me?”
He asked in bewilderment, but only a calm gaze reached him. Eun-ha had to swallow his discomfort at the assertive reaction. It’s like you’ve seriously misinterpreted me.
Eun-ha had nothing to do with being independent. Putting aside everything else, his personality could be easily understood just by looking at the way he tried to fill his empty space every single day. It was incomprehensible that Yeon-jun, who knew his behavior so well, would evaluate him that way.
Sometimes he wondered. What form was the image of him inside Yeon-jun’s mind? What kind of fantasy was he harboring inside… He had become somewhat accustomed to him seeing the good in everything and evaluating him in a plausible way, but sometimes he was worried. Because great expectations are always followed by great disappointments.
What’s the problem if this kid is disappointed in me? Wouldn’t that be a good thing?
Even though he tried to think that way in his head, the uneasy worry didn’t go away. It was a moment when a bitter taste lingered on the tip of his tongue.
“Are there still things left in that house, or something?”
“Well… something like that.”
“Why?”
It was a tone that purely wanted to know the reason. He must mean why they were still there.
As he remained silent, a rather sharp question followed.
“Didn’t you do it, or couldn’t you do it?”
Eun-ha chewed on the inside of his closed lips. Well. Which one was it? He didn’t do it because cleaning it up would mean throwing the whole house away. So it seemed fair to say he couldn’t do it. Because he couldn’t figure out how to separate and organize it.
“I think it’s both.”
“Both?”
“Yeah. When I try to clean it up, it’s to the point where I have to throw everything away, so I can’t bring myself to do it…”
“……”
“It’s too much of a hassle, so I just left it alone. It’s a bit far from this neighborhood, so I got a new house as well.”
I see. Yeon-jun replied quietly.
“So, the reason is that it’s overwhelming and a hassle.”
That was about right. Eun-ha nodded.
“It’s not because you have feelings left… or anything like that.”
“Yeah. It’s nothing like that at all.”
“Then shall I help you?”
“……With what?”
“Cleaning up the house.”
It was a plain tone, as if they were sharing a common everyday story. Eun-ha blinked at the sudden suggestion.
“……Suddenly? Why would you?”
“I just… thought it wouldn’t hurt to clean it up since we’re on the subject. If you’ve just left it alone for no reason.”
“……”
“And because I’m curious.”
“About what?”
“The house Hyung lived in.”
“……You’re curious about the house I lived in with someone else?”
“Of course.”
Yeon-jun, who answered without hesitation, met his eyes. With a slight smile in his eyes.
“I’m curious.”
“……”
“Anything related to Hyung.”
It was a low voice that tickled his ears. Eun-ha stared blankly at the pupils that met his for a moment, then suddenly turned his gaze away. He stared straight ahead with his unique expressionless face, then looked around for no reason. His throat suddenly felt parched and he craved a cigarette. He moistened his dry lips and reached out towards the pack of cigarettes he had placed on the armrest of the sofa. Even though he knew it would look messy to Yeon-jun.
And at the same time as he grabbed the cigarette pack, he had to chew on a slight sense of defeat. It was because he immediately realized that it was empty. He belatedly remembered that the one he had smoked before coming home was the topgallant.
It’s a hassle to go out and buy one now. And it’s not the right timing.
Just as he was clicking his tongue silently, something came to Eun-ha’s mind and he glanced sideways at Yeon-jun.
“What kind of cigarettes do you smoke?”
Come to think of it, he was also a smoker. He had never seen him smoking, but he had seen him carrying a pack of cigarettes a few times.
Yeon-jun paused, then answered obediently.
“……Abl?”
“Oh? Me too.”
Eun-ha’s eyes widened. He had tried several kinds before settling down, so he was planning to borrow one if there was one that overlapped. But it turned out to be the exact same kind he was smoking now.
“Then give me one.”
Eun-ha asked, showing the empty cigarette pack with his thumb. Yeon-jun looked down at it for a moment, then nodded and brought over his bag, which he had placed next to the sofa. He took out the pack of cigarettes he had put in a small pocket and handed it to him. It was while he was receiving it.
“Hyung can just take it.”
Eun-ha looked at Yeon-jun questioningly. Thinking it was a rather unexpected donation.
“You don’t have to go that far.”
“I don’t need it.”
“Why not?”
“……Actually, I don’t smoke.”
It was an unexpected explanation. He didn’t quite understand.
Eun-ha, who raised one eyebrow, slightly furrowed his brow. He fiddled with the outline in his hand, then inadvertently opened it to check, and the inside of the cigarette pack was only missing two cigarettes.
Unlike the inside, which was so full, the outside was quite worn, as if it had been carried around for a long time.
“Then what is this?”
“That’s……”
Yeon-jun, who hesitated, blurring the end of his words, soon turned his head slightly in the opposite direction and answered.
“I bought it because of Hyung.”
“……Huh?”
“……I saw you from afar and I was a little impressed.”
Yeon-jun, who replied almost mumbling, covered one ear with his palm and rubbed it thoroughly. Eun-ha had to twist his lips tightly. Nothing could be more unheard of.
What? He asked, dumbfounded.
“When?”
“……January this year?”
Eun-ha’s brow furrowed even more at the even more unheard-of words. January this year. It was an unexpected time. Because it was a time that was far from the timeline that Eun-ha had defined. For him, his memories with Yeon-jun began in early March.
He sent a look asking for an explanation, but Yeon-jun didn’t look back. The answer came after a brief hesitation.
“I didn’t see Hyung for the first time at that cafe.”
“Then?”
“……Much earlier than that?”
Does that mean it was in January?
Eun-ha, who was interested in the confession he had never known, sent a more curious look. Yeon-jun rubbed the back of his neck lightly.
“In January… not long after I moved my things here, I saw Hyung smoking a few times.”
“Really?”
Yeon-jun answered briefly, “Yes,” and took a breath as if choosing his words, then muttered. I kept thinking about it…
“……I think I ended up buying it by accident. I was a little curious. Because it wasn’t long after I became an adult.”
Eun-ha nodded. That’s how people often start smoking. Because they’ve become adults. A case where they step into an area that was forbidden to minors out of curiosity and it becomes a habit.
“But it wasn’t very good. It wasn’t my taste. Only my eyes and throat hurt.”
It was a tone mixed with dissatisfaction, as if he was reminded of the memory at that time. It wasn’t hard for Eun-ha to imagine Yeon-jun’s eyes turning red as he forced himself to smoke, and he unknowingly twitched the corners of his lips.
“……That’s a relief.”
He said as if relieved, and only then did he turn around. Eun-ha shrugged his shoulders.
“If even smoking was something I influenced you to do, I really don’t know what I’d become.”
“What’s wrong with Hyung?”