By Zephyria 
Following behind, Yeon-jun entered the house, looking around as if somewhat amazed. With that peculiar strange light in his eyes.
But there wasn’t much to see. Eun-ha’s actual belongings were in a separate house. This place was, after all, a second home for convenience. He had lived here for several years but had never considered adding to his possessions, so it was rather disorganized and desolate. As if he hadn’t been here long.
It was a common topic that countless people who had visited here had brought up at least once. Why is it so empty?
At least the living room had a sofa and TV, giving it a semblance of being furnished, but the inner room had only a bed. Yeon-jun’s eyes, having spotted the bedroom through the open door, soon filled with curiosity. As always, his thoughts were plainly visible. To an almost uncanny degree.
Eun-ha naturally diverted the attention.
“What’s that?”
Sure enough, Yeon-jun had an opaque white bag hanging from his wrist. “Ah,” he said, looking down.
“I didn’t think Hyung had eaten.”
He handed it over, and Eun-ha instinctively took it into his arms. It contained three packs of wrapped sandwiches. He knew the source immediately. It was from the shop he had been frequently buying from lately. He had even sent Yeon-jun photos as proof a few times when Yeon-jun contacted him to ask if he had eaten. He remembered replying when Yeon-jun asked where it was from.
Eun-ha stared intently at the bag for a moment before moving. Should I tell him not to worry about whether I eat or not in the future…? It’s a bit much that he asks about my meals every single day… He was lost in such pessimistic thoughts.
After a brief exchange, they decided to watch a movie. There were limited things to do at home. Eun-ha told Yeon-jun to sit on the sofa and choose something, handing him the remote, while he wandered around the kitchen. He took out the sandwiches and put them on a plate, rummaging through the upper cabinets to find more snacks when he sensed someone approaching. He tried to ignore it and continue what he was doing, but then he heard a voice from behind.
“Is there anything I can help with?”
“No. Go sit down.”
He said it firmly, but Yeon-jun didn’t leave. He leaned against the island counter and began to watch Eun-ha. How distracting. But Eun-ha didn’t repeat himself, instead gathering the snacks. Then, he absentmindedly reached for the refrigerator handle, but he had to stop as if frozen. If he opened it like this, Yeon-jun would clearly see inside the refrigerator.
But it would be strange to grab the handle as if to open it and then back away. Well… strictly speaking, there was no real need to hide anything. Eun-ha sighed softly and opened the refrigerator door. The inside was as pathetic as ever. Just a few Ion drinks and some expired yogurt.
Eun-ha took out one of the Ion drinks and placed it on the tray. He carried it out of the kitchen, but Yeon-jun, who was standing in the doorway, smoothly took it from him. Since he hadn’t offered it, it would be more accurate to say he had snatched it. It was such a natural gesture that he was robbed of it without even having time to think. Watching Yeon-jun’s retreating back, Eun-ha felt a strange sensation for a moment.
It felt somehow odd. He had had many partners and one-night stands who had come and gone from here, but he had never experienced this before.
That is, that kid being contained within this familiar domestic scene.
That peaceful, everyday fragment of a scene brought with it a queasy feeling that was now somewhat familiar.
Eun-ha tried to ignore it, as if blurring his vision. He tried not to feel regret.
They sat side by side on the sofa, leaning against the bottom. It wasn’t much different from when they had eaten at Yeon-jun’s house last time. They decided what to watch and started the movie. They chose a blockbuster action movie, Eun-ha’s favorite genre. The movie was full of suspense from the beginning. Thanks to that, he was quickly able to forget his complicated thoughts and immerse himself in it. The rapidly changing scenes and booming sounds naturally drew his attention.
Yeon-jun was no different. For a while, they simply focused on watching. It was a movie that had been quite a hit in Korea when it was released. It was quite long, with a running time of two hours and ten minutes, but the time flew by. For a while, they were so engrossed in it that they had no time to think about anything else.
Eun-ha suddenly felt uncomfortable about 30 minutes into the movie.
It started with their arms, which had been touching as they sat next to each other, becoming even more intertwined. Yeon-jun, who had leaned in as if to rely on him, began to make small gestures of physical contact. Touching Eun-ha’s knee with his fingertips, shifting his posture and leaning further towards him, fiddling with his fingers, holding them tightly, and so on.
“Ah. Don’t go…”
“……”
“The protagonists always make choices like that.”
Yeon-jun clicked his tongue as if he couldn’t understand. It was criticism towards the protagonist who was throwing away objectively beneficial choices for the sake of his comrades, acting foolishly. As he said this, he intertwined his arm deeply with Eun-ha’s and pressed his temple against the corner of Eun-ha’s shoulder. Eun-ha tensed his body and chewed on his complicated feelings.
It wasn’t physical contact that felt like it had any intention behind it. There was no sexual nuance at all. But, that’s why it felt even worse. Just everyday physical contact without any intention. Things that weren’t foreplay leading to sex.
That kind of thing is a bit too…
It felt like something only lovers would do.
“……”
One weekday afternoon. A house with moderately lukewarm air flowing through it. Spreading out snacks and watching a movie side by side.
That leisurely scene was the same. It was much more nerve-wracking than hanging out outside. It seemed to be partly because he was still wearing his cute duck pajamas, which he would be embarrassed to be seen in. Because they were sharing such a private part of themselves and spending time together.
If this isn’t dating, then what is it?
That level of awareness had always been faintly present in one corner of his mind, but this was the first time it had come to him in such a clear form. After that, he couldn’t concentrate at all. He had to let the remaining running time pass by with his attention diverted and his nerves on edge. Yeon-jun made light comments about the movie from time to time, but nothing really registered in his ears. He just focused on answering appropriately and calming his flustered heart.
After the movie ended, it was quiet for a while. The sound of the TV, tuned to a random channel, was all that filled the space. Eun-ha, who had been quietly lost in complicated thoughts, suddenly realized this and glanced sideways. He wondered why Yeon-jun had gone silent, even if he was like this.
The Yeon-jun he saw had a look on his face that seemed to say he had something to say. A slightly preoccupied look, as if he was mulling over the topic.
Then, as if by chance, their eyes met. Yeon-jun parted his lips slightly, then asked as if it wasn’t a big deal.
“Hyung, you don’t live here?”
Ah. Eun-ha understood and nodded inwardly. It was a question he had been wondering about anyway. Why didn’t he ask after seeing everything?
After a brief pause, Eun-ha turned his gaze to the TV and explained indifferently.
“I don’t live here permanently.”
“……Not permanently?”
“It’s literally an Officetel? I have a separate house where I live.”
He only visited once a quarter, so it was actually a misnomer to say he lived here. It might be more accurate to call this place his home, but Eun-ha didn’t correct himself.
“Is your house a bit far from here?”
Yeon-jun asked casually. Usually, that’s what people would think. That the distance was far, so he had found a new house for convenience.
“Well… there’s that too.”
“……”
“I didn’t want to go back.”
Yeon-jun tilted his head with a puzzled look and looked at Eun-ha. Eun-ha tilted his head slightly and met his gaze. After a moment of hesitation, he blurted out.
“I used to live with someone.”