By Zephyria Eui-jae hesitated and stepped into the alleyway. Not the soft sensation of the desert, but the feeling of a hard, rough asphalt floor. The air was different too. A cool breeze mixed with damp humidity brushed past him. Eui-jae took off his mask and took a deep breath.
This was a place he could never forget. Eui-jae walked slowly. A secluded alleyway a little ways from the Hanover Soup Restaurant, the place where he found a large purple flame while searching for Ha-eun and followed it. Right.
It was where he first met Lee Sa-young.
At that time, Lee Sa-young was kicking someone while wearing a Gas mask. Well, to be exact, it was an Addict.
‘I thought he was crazy, for real.’
Eui-jae chuckled. He thought he should never get involved with him back then.
“……”
The smile disappeared from his face. Eui-jae put his hands in his pockets and stared at his shadow cast on the ground. That day, if he had recognized that Lee Sa-young was that boy, would something have changed? While mulling over the unanswerable question, a voice came to mind.
The voice that whispered while taking off his mask.
‘I… like that we’re special. More than any other Lee Sa-young and Cha Eui-jae.’
The large hands that touched his cheeks and lips,
If the time of the Rift made us who we are now.
If loss created us.
Eui-jae raised his head. Hesitation and regret about the past disappeared. Yes, if anything he had experienced so far was missing, he would not have been able to come this far.
Two failures, the last chance. He had finally reached the very brink of Doomsday. Experiencing countless failures and setbacks, losing and regaining each other.
It was the moment Eui-jae took a step. From beyond the alleyway, thud, thud, thud… dull bursting sounds and suppressed groans were heard. Could it be Lee Sa-young? Eui-jae peeked out from beyond the alleyway. A large figure in black was kicking a man crouching on the ground.
‘Wow, it’s a violent scene even when I see it again.’
Eui-jae narrowed his eyes. At that moment, Lee Sa-young turned his head sharply. Wearing a Gas mask, black techwear, and Walkers stained with blood and gleaming. It was exactly how Lee Sa-young looked when they first met. He strangely missed it. The moment when he was working as a part-timer at the Hanover Soup Restaurant.
After a long silence, Lee Sa-young pointed at Eui-jae with a hand wearing a leather glove.
“You.”
“……”
The finger was pointing directly at Eui-jae, who was peeking out from the alleyway. Eui-jae pointed at himself with his index finger, asking with his lips, ‘Me?’ The Gas mask nodded. Eui-jae blankly asked.
“…Can you see me?”
The eyes behind the Gas mask lenses narrowed. Swish, the sound of air escaping from the Gas mask, and then a languid voice replied.
“What… are you going for a ghost concept? Asking if I can see you. I can see you very well.”
This is different from what I remember? Lee Sa-young never said anything like this, did he?
Trying to run away after exchanging a few words with Lee Sa-young, and then getting his identity exposed thanks to the ladle home run. That’s what the order seemed to be. He didn’t know what was going on. Eui-jae scratched his head and came out of the alleyway.
Sa-young scanned Eui-jae up and down, then stared intently at his face for a long time. He slowly tilted his head.
“That’s strange.”
The Gas mask lenses reflected Cha Eui-jae like a mirror. Ash-gray hair messed up from running, white ash on his pants and Walkers. Sa-young asked in a low voice.
“Have we ever met before?”
He should have answered that they hadn’t, according to his memory. However.
Instead of backing away, Eui-jae took a step closer. Lee Sa-young, who had his hands in his pants pockets, tilted his head again as if he was intrigued. Eui-jae looked up at him.
“Hey, Lee Sa-young.”
Swish, the sound of air escaping from the Gas mask. Behind the lenses, a look of bewilderment flickered in the purple eyes.
Suddenly, Cha Eui-jae thought. Maybe all of this was fate. The night he ran out with a ladle to find Ha-eun, the purple flame he followed as if possessed, Lee Sa-young who was there.
If it wasn’t fate….
‘You come find me first. Like you did before.’
Eui-jae suddenly reached out and grabbed Lee Sa-young’s arm. The sensation of muscles hardening firmly was clearly felt beneath his hand. He forced his hand out of his pocket by putting strength into the hand holding his arm. The hand wearing the leather glove flinched.
“What…!”
Sa-young hurriedly tried to pull his arm away, but Eui-jae didn’t let go, instead holding his hand tightly. The hand that was grabbed flinched. Eui-jae smiled as he stroked the leather glove.
“Ha, now that I think about it…. You listened well in the end.”
“……”
“The promise to live quietly, and the promise to come find you first, everything.”
He let go of his hand and reached out towards the Gas mask covering his face. Click, he released the Gas mask’s fastener and took it off, and beneath the disheveled black hair, startled purple eyes stared at Eui-jae. He dropped the removed Gas mask with a thud. Because we don’t need things like this between us anymore.
Eui-jae carefully cupped Lee Sa-young’s cheeks with both hands. And he slightly raised his heels and kissed his plump lips. It was a light kiss like a token of promise, without mixing tongues or exchanging saliva.
He looked at Lee Sa-young’s dazed face and smiled.
“See, I kept my promise this time.”
“……”
“I came to find you first.”
At that moment, Lee Sa-young’s appearance slowly changed. Slightly longer black hair, brightly shining purple eyes, a mole under his plump lips, a fluttering black coat, and Walkers stained with white ash. It was the current Lee Sa-young that Eui-jae knew and missed.
“…Haa.”
Sa-young covered the hands cupping his cheeks with his own and lowered his head. A bright, flower-like smile bloomed on his closed face. He kissed Eui-jae’s palm and whispered.
“That’s right…. Hyung finally kept his promise.”
“How is it, do you have a little more trust now?”
“Uhh… just a little. About… 0.1%.”
“Why is it only that much?”
“Trust is originally expensive. Keep keeping your promises from now on. Until it becomes 100%.”
Sa-young rubbed his cheek against his palm and smiled. Thump, he felt like his heart was sinking. Their eyes met. Gulp, his Adam’s apple moved greatly as he swallowed. Sa-young chuckled lowly and hugged his waist.
“Then…, I have to give you a reward for keeping your promise.”
Soft lips touched his cheek. Eui-jae couldn’t hold back his ticklishness and burst into a low laugh. His lips passed over his cheeks, eyelids, temples, and the bridge of his nose, finally reaching his lips. Their eyes met at a distance close enough for their breaths to mingle. The purple eyes were….
“……”
Kind and full of affection. Eui-jae slowly raised his arms and hugged Sa-young’s neck.
Sa-young. What are you seeing in my eyes?
Are my eyes shining like yours too?
Purple eyes closed, and lips touched. Words that could not be asked in words melted between their lips. Eui-jae opened his mouth without resisting. The thick tongue dug into his mouth as if it had been waiting. Saliva mixed thickly, and tongues intertwined. A small groan escaped as a black tongue brushed against his teeth and tickled the roof of his mouth.
“Ugh….”
Sa-young’s arms firmly supported his waist. It felt like he had come home. The sense of stability he hadn’t felt in a long time enveloped his whole body.
Finally, after a very long time, he had arrived here.
Next to my only success.
Smack, the long kiss ended, and wet lips parted. Sa-young closed his eyes, pressing his forehead against Eui-jae’s forehead. A languidly subdued voice whispered.
“…I missed you.”
“…Me too.”
The warmth touching his skin was sweet. A cool breeze brushed his hair. Eui-jae stroked Sa-young’s hair as he rubbed his head against his neck.
“Hey, Sa-young.”
“Yes, Hyung.”
“You said that before, that we… like that we’re more special than any other Lee Sa-young and Cha Eui-jae.”
“…Ah, I did say that.”
“I think I know what that means now.”
Eui-jae hugged Sa-young, who was tightly held in his arms, even tighter. Two failures, two separations, 8 years of Rift. Lee Sa-young and Cha Eui-jae who met after experiencing all that loss and failure.
Eui-jae brought up a story he had never told anyone. A story of a loser, stained with failure.
“Before, I… thought I was a really useless person. I wanted to save people but failed every time, I just kept killing Monsters, and in the end, I just ended up doing what I was told.”
“Uhh.”
“I did save you, but I couldn’t take care of you until the end and went into the West Sea Rift. I couldn’t save anyone there either. I came out of the Rift after 8 years… do you know what I felt first? Loss? Sadness? No. It was hunger. I was so hungry.”
Eui-jae chuckled lowly.
“So, I almost crawled and went straight into the Hanover Soup Restaurant with the lights on. But, there….”
Eui-jae recalled the scenery of the Hanover Soup Restaurant. The milky white bone broth Grandmother gave him, Grandmother peeling garlic, the CRT TV on the shelf, the faded soju poster and the old wall-mounted fan, the calendar. And,
The documentary that was playing on the CRT TV.
“I watched a documentary. The one that Wave Guild produced and supported.”
“……”
“Now that I think about it….”
That might have been a signal that Lee Sa-young sent. I haven’t forgotten you. I’m still waiting for you. To keep our promise.
Eui-jae buried his face in Sa-young’s arms. A trembling voice flowed out.
“…Thank you. For keeping your promise. And…. For waiting for me.”