By Zephyria “Yes, Hyung.”
It was a gentle, soothing voice. Even as he rubbed his cheek against his palm, his eyes were fixed on Eui-jae. Lee Sa-young’s dim eyes reflected J’s black mask perfectly. Sa-young, who had been gazing silently at Eui-jae, drove in a wedge with a soft voice.
“It’s me.”
“…Really you?”
Eui-jae asked, stammering. For the first words he had carefully chosen and spat out, they were terrible. Sa-young blinked and raised the corner of his lips.
“Yeah… I just grew up a bit too well. Surprised?”
Lee Sa-young was uncharacteristically playful. Eui-jae could only gape silently.
‘How?’
‘You were an Experiment of Prometheus?’
‘Why?’
‘Why were you dragged there?’
‘Did you know I was J?’
‘If you knew, since when?’
‘Why didn’t you say anything?’
Countless words rose and fell. He had swallowed many words he wanted to say, but this was the first time he couldn’t speak because there were too many things to say. It was impossible even to choose a word.
Sa-young stopped rubbing his cheek against his palm and muttered.
“Why, can’t you believe it?”
“……”
Sa-young twisted his lips.
“I’m your only success, after all.”
Only success.
“You…”
Thump, his heart pounded. Eui-jae trembled as if struck by lightning.
He thought it was a word he would never recall again. Moreover, he never thought he would hear it in Lee Sa-young’s voice.
He still couldn’t believe it. Rather, a groundless anxiety surged up.
What if all of this was a dream? What if all of this was just a mere delusion? What if he was confused because of the blood stench filling the surroundings? It felt as if the floor would collapse at any moment, and he would fall into a deep pit.
J doesn’t believe in miracles. He had spent too long in the Rift to believe in miracles. Seeing his former comrade rolling around with only a part of his body left, he couldn’t believe in miracles even if he wanted to. Knowing that silence, he couldn’t wish for a miracle.
However. Even so.
In the Rift, J dreamed. He could dare to say that J in his dreams was happier than anyone else. Waking up in a soft, fluffy bed, greeting his parents, complaining about the food, chatting with his aunt, joking with Jung-bin, and ending the day by telling his child about what happened today after returning home. A daily life he didn’t have, but desperately wanted more than anyone else.
When he opened his eyes, the surroundings were still a sea of blood.
The desire for a miracle was steadily chipped away day by day. Every time he pierced a Monster, every time he couldn’t even hear the screams begging to be saved, every time he discovered traces of what used to be his comrade.
But J didn’t lose his last hope. He soothed himself, believing that he could somehow survive, and soothed the few remaining comrades by his side. Because he had promised. He couldn’t become a liar to his only success. He endured with that one thought.
What broke even the last bit of his heart that remained…
Was it when he found his aunt’s hand?
“……”
Suddenly, he came to his senses. Eui-jae blankly stared at the young man in front of him. It was a face so clean that he couldn’t believe it was the boy whose bandages were like a second skin. The hand that was still covering his cheek flinched as if burned.
Just as Eui-jae was about to hurriedly take his hand away, the black hand covering his hand tightened its grip. A gentle voice spoke.
“No, that’s not it.”
“What…”
“You have something else to say, Hyung.”
The other black hand reached towards his face. Normally, he would have dodged as soon as the hand moved, but Eui-jae stood still, not even thinking of avoiding the hand. Soon, the large hand covered the mask. And carefully took it off.
A cool air touched his skin. Lee Sa-young’s eyes widened slightly and then narrowed. The hand that had been covering his hand fell away. At the same time, Eui-jae’s hand fell limply.
Sa-young muttered.
“…With that expression.”
“……”
“I can’t say anything, I…”
Clatter, the sound of the mask hitting the tile floor was clear.
At the same time, two black hands reached out. Then, as Eui-jae had done, they cupped his cheeks. The sensation of leather, lukewarm from body heat, was unfamiliar. The thumbs carefully stroked his eyes as if handling something precious.
“Why don’t you be a little happier, huh?”
“……”
Because he liked the warmth that covered his cheeks, Eui-jae buried his face in the large hands. It was an instinctive action. Sa-young sighed softly.
“I didn’t expect this kind of reaction.”
“……”
“Why do you look like you’re about to cry…”
Only then did Eui-jae realize that his face was terribly distorted. He bit the inside of his lip, but the stinging pain couldn’t suppress the rising emotions.
Does a miracle only come to those who don’t wish for it? Only after abandoning all greed and giving up everything could he see what remained in his hands. In that empty place…
His only one had come.
Like a miracle.
Eui-jae couldn’t hold back and stretched out his arms. He pulled the solid body into his embrace. The touching body stiffened. Eui-jae took a deep breath in and out. A sweet scent wafted. When he wrapped his hands around the back of his head, soft hair tangled between his fingers.
From their touching chests, he could hear the sound of their hearts, and from his ears, he could hear their ragged breaths. The two people’s heartbeats were faster than ever. Two hearts beat at a similar pace. That fact was more pleasing than anything else.
Eui-jae whispered with a distorted face.
“I’m sorry.”
J always thought. What would be good to say when he returned?
At first, the answer came easily. Hyung is here, did you wait, I kept my promise. Words he always said. Words that could be said lightly without weight. But as the time spent wandering the Rift grew longer, the joyful words slowly sank,
‘Aunt!’
And soon, he couldn’t even recall them.
What remained in that place was…
“I’m sorry I’m late.”
“……”
Guilt, and,
“I’m sorry I couldn’t keep my promise.”
“……”
“I’m sorry I made you wait.”
Only apologies without end.
“I’m sorry…”
Tears didn’t come out. It had been quite a while since they had dried up. He could feel the strength slowly leaving his stiff body. Strong arms wrapped around his neck.
Sa-young, who had been breathing deeply, lowered his head. Soft cheeks and hair touched his neck. A heavy weight was placed on him, but Eui-jae didn’t falter. He stood straight and endured the weight completely. It was a share he deserved to endure.
A sigh-like voice echoed in his ear.
“It’s okay.”
“……”
“Because I kept the promise.”
The fingers that had been tangled in the soft hair flinched. The scene from the Dungeon came to mind. Lee Sa-young, who had been smiling with a pale face and twisted lips. Unintelligible words.
‘What if I said I kept waiting?’
The selfish request he had entrusted.
‘Will you wait?’
Once, when he was crouching between a blood clot and a corpse. He tried to think of other things on purpose because he felt like he would go crazy if he stayed like that. It was natural for the boy to come to mind. And the end of his thoughts was always regret. J regretted making such a request, making such a promise. He shouldn’t have even linked fingers.
How futile it was to wait for someone who couldn’t return.
Ironically, that regret saved J. Regret was the only anchor that held him, who was wandering aimlessly without a destination. If it hadn’t been for that, well. He might have become a part of the sea a long time ago.
Then, lips fluttered on his neck.
“Why is the crazy brat who should apologize not apologizing… and the person who shouldn’t apologize is doing it.”
The voice, muttered as if spitting it out, soon regained its soft tone. Sa-young rubbed his forehead against his shoulder. The touching hair tickled.
“Well, it’s late, but… I’m here now.”
“……”
“You came to find me.”
“……”
“That’s enough.”
It was a kind word he had never expected. Eui-jae didn’t know how to deal with such a happy thing. He just hugged the solid body a little tighter. It was different from the image in his memory, and full of unfamiliar and familiar things, but in the end, Lee Sa-young was his boy.
Lee Sa-young was Cha Eui-jae’s only one.
For a long time, they stood silently, listening to each other’s heartbeats, embracing each other. As if that was the beginning.
Eui-jae patted Sa-young’s back and looked at the ceiling. What filled the place where guilt had subsided was anger. Lee Sa-young, who was an Experiment of Prometheus. But who dared to use the child J had entrusted as an Experiment of Prometheus?
‘Those bastards….’
At that moment, Sa-young, who had been quietly hugging and rubbing his forehead, muttered in a laughing voice.
“It’s better if Hyung doesn’t use his head unnecessarily.”
“What?”
Eui-jae replied sharply. Sa-young chuckled.
“Just be purely happy. That I’m alive.”
He lowered his arms that had been around his neck and stroked Eui-jae’s back. Eui-jae stiffened at the unfamiliar sensation. Sa-young, who had been rubbing his shoulder blades and back, whispered.
“What’s important now is that I’m alive,”
“……”
“And Hyung came back. To find me.”
“……”
“That’s enough, isn’t it? Or not?”
Eui-jae, who had been silent, nodded slightly as if agreeing. Sa-young raised his head slightly from where it had been buried in his neck. Purple eyes shone brightly through his disheveled hair. But the person who was holding him couldn’t see it. The anchor is always sunk deep in the sea.
Sa-young muttered.
“Yeah, that’s enough.”
Sa-young carefully raised his head and placed his lips on his temple. And took them away before Eui-jae could even notice. The gaze that looked down at the young man who was holding him was full of soft affection. But he couldn’t hide the emotions that flickered behind the affection.
Sa-young only moved his lips silently.
‘You don’t need to know anything else.’