By Zephyria The woman’s name was Nova.
Nova was born in Songbrue Port, married a fisherman husband, and had three children. When her husband, who woke before dawn to go out on the boat, returned and woke her, they would dry the nets together and prepare breakfast. After her husband fell asleep, she would go to the market and sell disposable fishing rods, lures, and the like to tourists.
Tourists visiting Yulan for the first time usually wanted similar things. The wide-open sea, the bustling port, the low, snow-white houses that looked like they belonged in a fairy tale. So Nova diligently swept and cleaned her own house, which was no different from any other house in Songbrue, to welcome tourists. She would serve them meals and tell them Yulan’s legends, earning some extra income.
We… did not hide the fact that we were wealthy tourists all day today.
Ivan had wanted to gather rumors from the common folk. So, was today’s date also something Ivan had planned in advance to find such a person? From the fact that he deliberately ambled around now, when the sun was high in the sky, even though he knew it was more crowded at dawn, wasn’t he aiming for something? Not just to go on a date with me…
A strange feeling washed over me again. The suspicion that I wasn’t part of Ivan’s plan, or if I was, only a tiny part, tormented me. Ivan and I were still holding hands tightly, yet it felt as if we were standing miles apart.
Ivan continued to speak in his gentle voice.
“When you talk about sea fishing, do you go all the way to the middle of Indus Bay?”
“Oh, we don’t do that. Small boats sway much more than landlubbers think. We’re lucky if we don’t get slapped for seasickness. Just fishing from the port right here, like this, and you can catch quite a lot.”
“Is that so? As it happens, I have a decent boat. Are you interested in collaborating?”
“Collaborating?”
“Yes. If there are any nobles who wish to go out on a boat, please introduce them to me. I will pay a generous referral fee.”
“Oh, in that case, I’d be delighted. Who should I say it is?”
“Just say Baron Bicov of Sierren. They will know. We are staying at the second-floor house by Poineil Cliff over there.”
“Ah, Poineil. Wonderful. Oh my, I should be offering you a meal instead. Perhaps.”
“No, we ate quite a lot today. I’ll definitely try your cooking next time. We plan to stay for quite a while. Today, we just wanted to do some fishing and head back.”
“Really? Oh, that’s wonderful! This is 4 copper, and from here it’s 5 copper…”
What on earth is Ivan’s plan? Do I even need to be a part of it?
Whenever such a fucked-up thought crept in, I remembered Ivan tying a rope around his waist. The day he jumped into the sea, accepting death to save my friend, saying he loved me… Ivan’s refreshing smile in that moment.
No, fuck. It feels like I’m getting even more suffocated…
I really don’t know. I felt a pang of jealousy seeing him act so friendly with Nova. Is he just trying to snatch away everyone from Ivan’s side whenever he meets someone? How stupid do you intend to be, Eric Bicov. I shook our clasped hands, but then I felt disgusted with myself and my mood soured again.
We got caught up in various conversations, abandoning the topic of bait, and eventually ended up at Nova’s house. I was introduced to her husband and children, listened to a strange and boring story about the Golden Turtle, and ate a thick soup brimming with the scent of seafood. The food wasn’t bad, but Ivan’s constant affectionate behavior towards them felt awkward and irritating.
He can speak so well, so why couldn’t he do that in Eldos? No, that’s not right. Back then, the moment we exchanged greetings, the others were already hostile and aggressive. If Ivan had treated them kindly, they would have surely tried to trample him down soon enough. That wasn’t Ivan’s fault…
Suddenly, a strange thought welled up. How much would that nameless information officer from the Nobility Yearbook know about Ivan?
Ah, is it right to be so anxious alone over someone I have no real connection with? Even the stares of the small children glancing at Ivan made me so annoyed that I had to suppress it with all my might.
What exactly is my problem?
Ivan tells me he loves me. When I ask about his actions or thoughts, he always answers kindly. We do everything that lovers do. Yet, I can’t figure out the source of this gnawing anxiety.
It just was.
We returned to our lodging on the cliff much later, after finishing our business.
The laborers from Eldos were scattered, and the captain and crew had found separate lodgings closer to the ship. Since it had been a while since they came ashore, they were out carousing, leaving the seaside villa quite serene. So, Ivan and I heated our own water to wash, and we washed separately.
Ivan, who had come out first and was sitting on the bed, beckoned me closer. Instead of immediately complying, I tidied my clothes one more time.
No, fuck, why is he treating me like a dog?
No, that’s not right. Ivan was always a man more accustomed to gestures than words. Normally, I would have happily knelt down, offering my head to be petted. Yet, for some reason, I kept getting angry. Even though I tried hard to control my expression in the bathroom, it was no use.
After this act of defiance, I was too embarrassed to look up. My insides burned with a stinging pain, and I lowered my gaze. My feet, dragging along the wooden floor as if being pulled, looked incredibly foolish.
As I sat on the bed, Ivan immediately took hold of my knees. I passively bent my knees to his touch, but I didn’t feel like snuggling up, so I just lay back flat. Even then, a part of me hated myself for thinking that being this defiant was probably okay.
Ivan’s eyebrows slightly rose and fell. As I watched his hands idly stroking my knees over my pajama pants, he spoke in a very gentle voice.
“Why are you angry again?”
“…”
“I really don’t know this time.”
I opened my mouth to say something, then closed it. Fuck, what I wanted to say was too absurd. Do I really want to say, “Why are you flirting with a married woman? You say you like me, so why are you so promiscuous?” It didn’t feel like it. No, it shouldn’t be.
As I remained silent, Ivan rested his chin on my knees, bit them a couple of times, and nuzzled my cheek. I turned my head away from his gaze, which was fixed on me like a docile puppy. I didn’t know why he was suddenly acting so cute. The more he did, the more I was enraged by the memory of him being so kind to others all day.
Meanwhile, with every blink of his long, monolidded eyes, my anxiety grew steadily. Should I just get up and apologize? Isn’t it better to just have sex and forget about it? Honestly, I’m having some strange thoughts…
Unaware of my internal turmoil, Ivan became affectionate again.
“You won’t tell me?”
“…”
“You don’t know why you’re angry?”
“…”
Don’t bother me, Eric Eldos, Eric Bicov. Fuck, you shouldn’t be like this. Realize what kind of ridiculous tantrum you’re throwing. But this inexplicable sadness was still sadness, and if I opened my mouth, I felt like I would burst into tears, so I just kept my mouth shut and endured.
“Hmm… I wonder why.”
Isn’t he doing this on purpose, knowing everything? Ivan Bicov, so smart and perceptive, could he be teasing me, knowing my inner thoughts? I was furious, but he was just grinning.
Each time Ivan kissed my pajama-clad knees with a smack, my sense of injustice grew, threatening to erupt.
Then he said something strange.
“Then, shall I suck until you remember?”
“What?”
“You know. I think it’s best to try something until you feel better. You’re upset right now, so I won’t have sex, I’ll just make you feel good.”
“Can you? No, can you really? Crazy, what is that, no, it’s not that.”
“It’s been a while since we could touch each other because of all the things going on, hasn’t it? Hmm?”
Is that so?
Just moments ago, I had no desire for it, but I wasn’t averse to Ivan acting as if it were natural and trying to soothe me with his crazy talk, which confused me. Not going all the way, just… Ivan trying to make me feel good… That might be a little nice… No, Eric Bicov, how far are you going? Does that even make sense?
As I was about to refuse again.
“Or would you prefer a spanking?”
“What?”
“Because Eric likes that, I thought I’d ask.”
“No, no!”
“Liar.”
Is this guy completely insane?
Startled, I tried to get up, but Ivan hugged my calf and massaged the firm part of my leg. Unable to kick away my one and only husband, I grabbed the bedsheet and twisted my body to escape his grasp. But Ivan, as always, didn’t let go.
“Choose one of the two. Shall I suck, or shall I spank?”
“…”
“If you don’t choose, I’ll do both.”
“Th-.”
“Yes. Please speak, my wife.”
“…Th-that, h-ha, suck… Please suck.”
“Where?”
Ah, I think I’ve been tricked. This really feels like I’m the only one being wronged. This really, really doesn’t feel right… But putting my ugly thing in Ivan’s mouth… Ah, it’s arousing, but it feels wrong. I’m going crazy.
Helplessly, I cupped my breasts with both hands. Ivan let out a “poof” and chuckled. He really was a crazy bastard… Aren’t I the one who’s sulking right now? Isn’t this the moment Ivan should be comforting me…
“Yes, I’ll suck until your nipples are swollen. Baroness Bicov likes that.”
“…”
Why does he have to say things like this?
Ivan’s hands skillfully began to peel away my pajamas like a snake shedding its skin. My mind became a white, damp mess, like mold tangled in wet wool, and I couldn’t think anything. The jealousy I had felt until now began to seem like a trivial worry, not even worth comparing.
It was only later that I felt a sense of absurdity. Just moments ago, I was sulking and determined to do nothing today and just turn my back and sleep. But now, suddenly naked, kneeling and offering my breast meat, I couldn’t believe this state I was in. What is this, really?
His hot breath touched my chest. My merchant’s intuition rang loudly. I had missed the timing to sell. Now, I just had to hold on until the end.
Ah, fuck, I don’t know. I squeezed my eyes shut.