By Zephyria You mean it? Really? You’ll marry me? I snapped my head up in surprise.
Is this bastard really in his right mind? He hasn’t eaten hallucinogenic mushrooms, has he? While I was lost in a daze, my mind racing with all sorts of thoughts, Ivan Holmes maintained the same cool expression as when we first met. His face was so composed, I wondered if I had heard things.
“No. As this is sudden, I believe I will need some more time to think. I have an exam coming up soon… Are you available sometime during the fourth week of September?”
“Huh? Yes! Yes, I am. I can meet you whenever is convenient.”
September?
It was August now. My mother had passed away in July, so I absolutely had to submit the engagement confirmation documents and the territorial transfer extension papers by the end of September. But as I was the one asking for a favor, how could I pester him to meet me during his exam period? I could only seethe inwardly.
“What day would be good?”
“Mon! Monday… Monday would be good.”
I had to meet him one day sooner. Ivan Holmes, who had been watching my anxious state, rose with a light movement.
“Alright. Then I will take my leave for today. I will see you on Monday of the fourth week of September.”
“Yes! I understand. Thank you.”
I jumped up and bowed respectfully at a 90-degree angle. All the while, I thought to myself:
Does that mean yes, or does that mean no?
The next month was the most nerve-wracking period of my life.
It was only natural, given that I risked losing the family business, passed down through generations, on my watch. I even considered just giving up and living a peaceful life as a territorial citizen, only to be struck by the absurdity of it all, wondering what else I could possibly do besides trade. My mind changed dozens of times a day.
I even compiled a list of those who held the Single Ascent Title, determined to find a way to survive. However, while Ivan Holmes was only five years my junior, those with the Single Ascent Title in this region were generally over a decade older.
If they were fifteen years older than me, they would have a spouse. If they were fifteen years younger, it would be a crime.
Should I just overturn everything? I imagined myself lying down in front of the Count’s mansion, arms and legs spread wide, telling them to cut me open if they were going to take away my territorial transfer rights. I had that thought dozens of times. I even considered knocking someone out and stealing their title, twice.
Actually, there was a bigger problem than the marriage itself.
To inherit the succession title… Since a child could not be born between a man like me and Ivan, I would have to adopt. It would likely be a child selected from the direct lineage of the Blood Kin who would inherit the Merchant Guild, the Eldos Family, that would be adopted.
Then, Ivan Holmes would have to pass on his succession title to a child with whom he shared no blood.
Was that right? Would he really go that far? For me, a stranger?
Viscount Holmos’s family was not desperate for money. They had several businesses, but it was unlikely that a Viscount’s family, not some backwater corner store, would be unable to raise that much money. If Ivan Holmes hadn’t been unusually open-minded about marriages between different social classes, this opportunity would never have come to us…
Sleep eluded me. Sienna Eldos had still not returned.
Monday of the fourth week of September.
Once again, I arrived at the cafeteria an hour before the scheduled time. My attire was neat, and I clutched the bouquet I had brought just in case. As I sat, my legs trembled. The bouquet trembled along with me, petals scattering. To protect the bouquet, I stood and paced the room like a mule tethered to a post.
Knock knock.
Following the sound of a knock, a cool voice, just like before, was heard.
“I will enter.”
“Yes! Please come in.”
The moment he opened the door and stepped inside, I thrust the bouquet I was holding towards him. Ivan Holmes’s cool gaze flickered, his left eyebrow rising slightly before falling. Was that a sign of approval or disapproval? He took the bouquet from my trembling hand.
“What is this?”
“…To… Mr. Ivan, my feelings for you…”
“Hah.”
I couldn’t tell if he had laughed or sneered.
Feeling both annoyed and nervous, I clenched and unclenched my fists. This time, I waited instead of sitting on the sofa first. Ivan Holmes sat down on the spacious sofa, glanced down at the bouquet once, and then placed it on the table.
I’m doomed. It seems it wasn’t very effective.
Ivan called me.
“Eric. Come here.”
“Yes.”
I cautiously sat in the seat in front of him, and he slowly shook his head. As I awkwardly stood, he tapped the armrest of his sofa. Sit there? Why? But I was in no position to argue, so I perched on the armrest.
I gripped the back of the sofa with my hand, fearing I would fall backward. Sitting like this, it felt almost… as if I were holding Ivan Holmes in my arms. I had never been this close to a strange man before, and I felt awkwardly self-conscious.
His cool gaze fixed on me. Ivan asked,
“Can you truly marry me?”
“Of course!”
Then, he placed his hand on my cheek.
…My cheek? His hand? Placed it there. What was this?
As I stiffened, he cupped my chin with his thumb and gently lowered it. I followed obediently. On my lips, a sweet and cool… breath touched me. Should I avoid this? What was this all of a sudden? My eyes widened, and he continued,
“Can you do things like this?”
“…Huh?”
It was a question I had never anticipated.
If he were to marry me… Naturally, he would want to experience love, being a man… I had intended to tell him he could have a lover. What crime was it of his if I spent my life as a recluse paying off my debts? That was what I thought. But then.
My mind went blank. Could I kiss a man?
“…This is bad…”
As I couldn’t answer, the hand that had been on my chin fell away as if it had never been there.
Oh, God. No. Startled, I grabbed his hand and placed it back on my cheek. How ridiculous must I look right now? I couldn’t even begin to imagine. My fingertips trembled. But I couldn’t give up.
“Ah, ah, no. I, I can… do it.”
“Is that so? Shall we try?”
“…Yes!”
Our lips met cautiously. Ivan licked my lower lip with the tip of his tongue as if asking for permission, then sucked on it with a smack. Even without ever having kissed before, I knew what he wanted. Damn it, I should have brushed my teeth twice more. I parted my lips obediently. The hand that had held my cheek slowly pressed and traced my earlobe.
A shiver ran down my spine.
With every brush of our tongues, my breath grew ragged. The hand caressing my ear pulled my neck closer. My grip tightened on the sofa. As he slowly pushed his tongue into my mouth after only lightly tracing mine, I squeezed my already closed eyes even tighter.
A wet sound came from our joined lips. My lower abdomen tightened. My extremities tingled. I broke out in a sweat.
“Ngh, …Ugh.”
At some point, he breathed into my mouth and inhaled sharply. It was only then that I realized I hadn’t taken a breath for a long time. Ivan slowly licked my lips and whispered,
“…Breathe. Please breathe.”
“…Hah.”
As his lips didn’t touch mine again, I opened my eyes.
Ivan Holmes, watching me from such close proximity… still had a pale face. Realizing I had been clinging to him, making noises, with my face bright red, I was overcome with a crushing sense of shame, tears welling up. No, damn it. I can’t cry here. I glared.
Ivan Holmes’s gaze slowly slid downwards. I saw the same thing.
…It was hard. My… thing.
It was of a size I usually took pride in, so I couldn’t hide it anywhere. Staring at the distinct bulge straining my trousers, I recited prayers several times. Goddess, please save me. But God had abandoned me, and my proud junior was still standing tall, and Ivan Holmes was watching it.
Is this, is this right? I got hard from one kiss and was trembling. In front of someone five years younger. My mind went blank, and I couldn’t say a word. I just opened and closed my mouth, opened and closed it again. A goldfish would probably speak better than me.
I had heard he was a chaste man with no prior romantic experience, so what was this? What in the world?
Ivan Holmes slowly licked his lips. It was the first time I realized a person’s tongue could be so red. His lips were wet… because of me. I stared blankly at his face. I couldn’t believe that tongue had been inside my mouth just moments ago.
The refreshing taste still lingered in my mouth. I licked my lips without realizing it. Then, he… smiled. He smiled at me for the first time… Thump*. I heard the sound of something heavy landing. Who was it? Whose heart was pounding so wildly? Was it me? …Really me?
I couldn’t tear my gaze away from his eyes, which curved into an incomparably tender expression.
Ivan, his tone devoid of any hint of excitement unlike mine, whispered slowly,
“As expected…”
“…As, as expected…?”
“It seems I should take the lead. What do you think?”
“Huh?”
Ivan Holmes spoke slowly, very slowly.
“After we marry… if I can… play the role of your husband, I will accept this marriage.”
A joy that overcame all that embarrassment filled my chest tightly. What? Really? Truly? So now the Eldos Merchant Guild would be safe, I would gain a husband, and the succession title? Forgetting my current state and situation, I grabbed both of his hands. I couldn’t help it.
“Are, are you serious?”
“Yes.”
“Thank you!”
Ivan smiled again. It was a white, clean, aristocratic smile that seemed almost ecstatic.
“I should be the one thanking you. Then, please take good care of me from now on.”
“Yes! I, I will take good care of you.”
Somehow, my stomach tightened, and a chill ran down my spine. Unsure how to contain this joy, I just repeatedly clenched and unclenched my fists. If Ivan Holmes weren’t in front of me, I would have slapped my own cheek to confirm if this was a dream, but I didn’t want to appear violent, so I suppressed it.