By Zephyria We came to our senses before the moon rose above our heads.
I placed Ruben, who insisted on walking alone, back onto my back and picked up the wine box I had left on the roadside for a moment. Meanwhile, Ruben struggled, pushed against my back, and finally gave up, nudging my shoulder with his chin and whining. Even without looking back, I could clearly imagine what expression the child was glaring at me with.
“Why, why can you, but I can’t⋯.”
“Ruben dislikes the taste of fish, doesn’t he?”
“⋯You disliked it?”
“I liked it.”
“Ah, really!”
“Haha! At least you’re sober now.”
“I wasn’t drunk from before⋯. But.”
Ruben, who had been continuously massaging my shoulder, finally gave up and wrapped his arms around my neck. As the child’s firm chest fully touched my back, my entire body grew warm. I opened and closed my still-tingling jaw a couple of times and shrugged my shoulders.
“And Ruben’s mouth is too small.”
“⋯.”
“I can eat two donuts in one go, and I’m skilled at controlling my breathing even when I hold my throat for a long time, so it was fine, but if Ruben tried the same thing, his mouth would surely tear open. Seeing that would make me worry, not excited.”
“⋯.”
“How could I ask you to do something like that?”
“⋯Yours is even smaller.”
“That’s…”
I was speechless for a moment. I had accepted it, thinking that was how men did it. I had assumed that if Ruben and I were placed side-by-side, I would naturally be the male role, no, no. The one doing the penetrating. But now that I thought Ruben might have been uncomfortable all this time, my mouth tightened.
What should I do?
The words to stop now didn’t come out.
Ruben, after watching me for three seconds, grabbed my hair with both hands. The shadow, elongated by the moonlight, perfectly reflected Ruben’s playful actions. Ruben, clutching handfuls of my hair that stood up like rabbit ears, pretended to nibble at the ends of my hair with frustration for a while before relaxing his shoulders.
“⋯What are you thinking?”
“I’m thinking it’s a miracle Ruben wasn’t hurt all this time.”
“You think so?”
“⋯Then?”
“⋯We just have good chemistry, don’t we?”
“You said you wouldn’t lie.”
“⋯I made an effort for that.”
“What effort?”
“⋯.”
As he pulled the hair he was tightly gripping, I laughed softly. My inability to suppress my laughter made our large, overlapping shadows sway up and down like they were dancing. Without needing an answer, I had an idea of what it was. Not wanting to tease the shy Ruben, I said something else instead of prying.
“Then I prefer that side too.”
“⋯What?”
“The lower mouth that was prepared for me.”
I was hit on the shoulder twice. I was pulled into a tight embrace, and my breath was almost taken away. It was no use pretending to be in pain or gasping for air. However, the generous and kind Ruben forgave me with five kisses, and when he said we’d do a deeper kiss after brushing our teeth, I laughed for a long time.
See, you don’t hate it. You hate it because it’s mine. Our bickering faded as we approached the brightly lit village. The excited fervor of the festival made the entire village shine brightly even late at night.
Three days later. We arrived at Count Ernhardt’s residence as scheduled.
When I was young, I never crossed the fence of the Viscount’s residence, so this was my first time entering the Count’s estate, where my paternal grandparents had lived for a long time. Because of that, Ruben knew the way better than I did.
After briefly greeting the numerous elders in the family cemetery one by one, I immediately went to my grandfather’s grave. I placed a bouquet as lush as Sierren’s, bowed my head in silent prayer, and then poured the finest wine over the grave as a sign of mourning.
I prayed for a long time, whispering, “Relax, seeing your grandson return alive, and nothing you worried about will happen.” Somehow, the sound of the passing wind resembled my grandfather’s laughter, and my heart felt good.
Not only my blood relatives but everyone at the Count’s residence welcomed our party warmly.
We finished the greetings that were supposed to be done at the reception on our first day back. While Ruben conversed with my parents, I attended to the guests. I never tired of seeing Ruben being doted on by my parents and siblings.
Ruben held my grandmother’s wrinkled hand tightly, stroking the back of her hand, fully acting the part of a daughter-in-law. Thanks to that, my grandmother no longer apologized to me. Michael occasionally bad-mouthed me to Ruben, but knowing he was just teasing because he liked me, I simply laughed it off.
We spent the day with family, and in the evening, we gathered with all our close friends at the banquet hall, talking and laughing around a long table. Marianne, in particular, acted almost like my blood relative, showing great affection. She introduced Benjamin to my parents as her husband-to-be, receiving great applause.
Perhaps it was because we spent the entire day boisterously. It was a particularly quiet night.
Ruben and I finished feeding Mana to Al and lay down. Ruben, with his head on my arm, was subdued, as if he hadn’t been laughing and talking just moments ago. Worried that he might be tired from dealing with my family today, I gently stroked the corner of his eye with my thumb. Then, Ruben wrapped his arms around my waist and buried his face in my chest.
“Are you very tired?”
“⋯No.”
As I gently stroked his fine hair, I lightly kissed the crown of his head. He let out a sigh mixed with laughter. After more than seven kisses, he lifted his head and showed me his beautiful face.
“I just can’t believe it.”
“Believe what?”
“That we’re in this room, just the two of us.”
Ah.
That’s right. No wonder my mother asked Ruben if he was okay several times when she gave us the room. So this was the room.
I looked around with newfound eyes. The dark navy tapestry, the plush, well-maintained light-colored bedding, the dark, tall furniture that seemed fitting for a grown man. The interior, where a hanger for clothes and weapons was casually placed instead of a mirror and desk, now made sense.
It was a space filled with the longing of my family, who had thought me dead.
“Should I ask to change rooms now?”
“⋯No. I like it here.”
“Why?”
“Because you’re next to me.”
“Huh?”
“Because I know this is real, I’m okay.”
“You weren’t too tired today, were you?”
“No, it was fun. Your family⋯. They laugh so much. It’s obvious they love you.”
“Mother and Senior Lucilla are like that too.”
“⋯.”
“Really. They laugh a lot, and it’s clear they love and cherish Ruben. Of course, they have a slightly more mischievous side⋯. But still.”
“⋯That’s true.”
“You mentioned there was some misunderstanding about the poison story, right?”
“Lucilla said that? A misunderstanding?”
“No, Mother did.”
Ruben’s brow furrowed, so I quickly licked between his beautiful eyebrows. The child, who had been glaring at me, chuckled and pushed me away. “It’s hot.” Knowing he was just being petulant, I still clung to him, asking to be held. After a while, he finally giggled and snuggled back into me.
Lying with my forearm as a pillow, gently tickling my waist with his arm, Ruben whispered in a much lighter voice.
“Still, it was fun. Seeing your childhood portraits.”
“Oh? Shall I give them to you?”
“No, Mother and Father cherish them like treasures.”
“Well, I’ll take them even if I have to steal them.”
“⋯Unfilial son.”
“Love is a fierce thing, isn’t it?”
“⋯.”
“Still, out of so many, wouldn’t one or two be okay? Not now, but let’s stop by again when we go up to the capital and take them then.”
“⋯Okay.”
Now his mood had completely lifted. Ruben giggled and quietly closed his eyes. His sleepy voice tickled my chest.
“Since we’ve arrived at the first base camp⋯. Starting tomorrow, I have to handle state affairs for about a week, four hours a day. Along with Baron Tennessee and Viscount Burnold⋯. Can I borrow your study?”
“Yes. Even if my own share isn’t ready, you’ll be able to borrow a usable corner of a study.”
“Mmm. Spend a lot of time with your family⋯.”
The child yawned softly.
“Think of me a lot.”
“⋯That’s what happened. What would be good to infuse Ruben with energy?”
It was a greenhouse where a Magic Circle was installed, keeping the air cool even on a midsummer day. Even if I asked my younger brothers, both of them were far from romance and lacked experience, so they couldn’t offer any helpful advice. Therefore, I was now sitting face-to-face with my parents.
It had been a long time since the three of us sat together in the greenhouse like this.
Both my parents, who had suffered greatly, had several deep wrinkles on their faces. But I no longer worried about them. I could read a deep affection in their eyes as they exchanged glances and smiled softly. Thinking of how they were initially awkward and shy around each other, it felt like a complete transformation. I felt very proud.
After pondering for a while, my father said,
“Just, you want to see his face⋯. How about a casual visit to his office?”
“Was that what you liked best, Father?”
“⋯.”
But it wasn’t like I was working eight hours a day, and now I was only handling affairs for four hours a day, so I didn’t want to disturb him. As I was contemplating, my mother, instead of my silent father, offered another piece of advice.
“How about making something special?”
“Something special?”
“⋯Like cooking?”
“Yes?”
It was truly unexpected. Since I was born into this world, I had rarely entered the kitchen. At most, I had shown my knife skills when I caught fish. As a noble, how often would I have to get my hands dirty?
But my mother smiled wryly and said,
“Don’t you remember? When you were little, you made a cake for this child once.”
Ah.