By Zephyria 
Ivan looked around once.
The corridors of Sapphire Palace were wide enough for eight people to pass at once. Large paintings hung endlessly on the high-ceilinged walls, spaced far apart. The doors between the paintings were all closed, making them inaccessible without permission.
Even with servants coming and going, he spoke in a normal tone, neither too low nor too high. He figured it was out of politeness, as whispering secrets in the Empress Dowager’s palace would be considered rude.
Ivan Bikoff seemed to have immediately grasped why I had specifically mentioned Benjamin’s name first.
“Are you that curious?”
“….”
“Just tell him to come, ask him to visit. He’ll come if he has the time.”
That made sense.
But did I really need to send a letter first?
In my past life, seeing friends once every few years was perfectly normal. The land was vast, and everyone lived far apart. If I hadn’t been busy flitting around from Sichuan to Anhui on missions for the Martial Arts Alliance, it would have been difficult even to share a drink.
In this land, as vast as, if not vaster than, the Central Plains, being able to socialize with friends several times a month and exchange letters was a definite luxury. In such circumstances, I didn’t want to be so presumptuous as to summon busy people to me, rather than visiting them myself.
I was also worried about the embarrassing situations I’d encountered every time I looked for him. These were already cautious individuals, and it wouldn’t do for their close friend to interfere with their romantic relationships.
Seeing my silence, Ivan, with his usual neat and cold expression, returned and shrugged his shoulders.
“Well, it might be a bit awkward.”
“Awkward?”
“It’s natural to feel a bit disappointed when one friend starts dating another.”
“…Hmm?”
That was a strange thing to say.
“If you date someone you don’t know at all, you never see how that friend behaves with their partner. But when friends start dating, many secrets arise between them that you don’t know, and it can feel like the bond you’ve shared as friends takes a backseat.”
“No, why would that be?”
“Love is about treating someone specially, and special treatment can cause feelings of exclusion in a third party.”
“…Hoo.”
“It’s even more so if friends get into love quarrels. If you only have one friend between the two, you can side with them, but what about when you get caught between them and the situation becomes difficult? Well, I understand why you might feel awkward.”
“No, it’s not awkward, it’s…”
“It isn’t?”
It was a perspective I had never considered.
Disappointed? No, it wasn’t that. I had brought Ruben into my circle of friends, thinking he had no companions. My friends might have found it eye-sore, but they never said they felt excluded or disappointed by it. Rather, it was something I should be grateful for.
Then, was it awkward? That…
As I couldn’t answer immediately, Ivan grinned like a fox holding its own testicles in both paws.
“If it were Michael, the one I know, he’d probably go ask right now.”
“Ask what?”
“Like, ‘Are you two dating or not? When’s the wedding? Whose surname will you take?’ things like that.”
“…No, what would I say that for?”
“What else? You’re friends.”
“….”
Why was he grinning so much? Listening to him, I was dumbfounded and said,
“What about you, Ivan?”
“Me?”
“What do you know that makes you smile like that?”
Instead of answering my question, he shrugged his shoulders and gestured towards the door with his chin.
“The Empress Dowager will probably return in about two or three minutes, so I’ll be going in now. It’s a very important moment that will change the status of the Eldos Merchant Guild in just two months.”
“Hey, don’t stop mid-sentence.”
“If I may offer some advice.”
He nudged my shoulder playfully.
“It would be more comfortable for both parties if you went to see Marianne rather than Benjamin.”
“And why is that?”
“You should ask His Majesty about that. It’s not something I should comment on.”
Ivan was usually sly, but today he was exceptionally so. I understood that he couldn’t speak freely due to the many people coming and going, so I didn’t press him further. I simply returned to my original spot and wasted time gazing at the dozens of types of frills and lace that needed to be attached to the children’s clothes.
❖ ❖ ❖
Would a willow tree in a drought be like this?
I gathered my listless younger brothers and put them in the carriage. Both of them had acted quite alert in front of the Empress Dowager, but their eyes had gone dull as soon as they descended the steps of the Sapphire Palace main building.
Indeed, both children lost their energy as soon as they entered the carriage. They leaned their heads against the carriage wall, half-collapsed, revealing their exhaustion.
It was so cute that they were openly showing how tired they were, it made me keep smiling.
“Are you that tired?”
“Ugh, honestly, if it were just ordering clothes, it would have been fine… I guess I was nervous because it was in front of the Empress Dowager.”
“She seemed quite fond of you.”
“That’s why we’re more worried. What if we do something wrong and even you get blamed?”
“Surely not.”
The children remained leaning against the carriage wall even after it started moving.
They had acted so affectionately towards each other while choosing clothes, but now, the distance between them, wide enough for a small child to sit, was particularly noticeable. Each time this happened, I felt a sense of how much they had grown.
Asdel mumbled weakly.
“No, the closer the relationship, the better you have to be.”
“She seems to favor cute and pitiable individuals, so try to relax.”
Then, Michael suddenly sat up straight.
“What do you know, brother?”
“What?”
“What do you know!”
What was with this sudden outburst?
Michael, who had been so mature and gentle throughout his childhood, had become quite boisterous lately. This was probably him indulging in the childish demands he hadn’t made before.
Michael, sitting opposite me, flailed his limbs wide apart. Asdel, to prevent him from kicking me, stepped on Michael’s toes to stop his flailing.
Asdel, watching the two of us from the side, sighed as if he were going to spit out his insides.
“By the way, is it okay for you to come out with us?”
“Hmm?”
“Didn’t you have to stay and… talk more with the Empress Dowager?”
“Ah, it’s fine. Princess Lucilla said she would take care of her mother herself today.”
“Then what about His Majesty the Emperor?”
“He knew you were coming to the palace today and asked me to make sure you had dinner.”
“He didn’t ask you to stay the night?”
“…Mm.”
As I deliberately didn’t answer, my brothers started teasing me again. I quickly changed the subject.
“Didn’t your parents leave your territory the other day? Have you heard any news?”
“Ah, right. We heard too. They said they’d arrive before the Imperial Conference to gauge the atmosphere and do some greetings.”
“Hmm.”
“When you think about things like this, His Majesty is truly an amazing person.”
“Hmm? What do you mean?”
“Under the guise of the Imperial Conference, he’s gathering all the imperial delegates and holding the wedding in the temple. The conference is in the capital, the wedding is in the capital, and even the venue is the temple. People who are politically influential in the Empire absolutely have to attend. A person needs to know when to compromise, but he has none of that.”
That was right.
Ten days after the Imperial Conference, on July 1st, I would be getting married.
After the ceremony, a grand banquet was planned for a month to celebrate the new imperial decree throughout the Empire. The thought of the Imperial Palace’s wealth being used for everyone in the Empire to eat and drink in celebration of our marriage made me feel both embarrassed and awkward.
Seizing an opportunity, I subtly brought up a long-held question.
“Come to think of it, is there a specific meaning between a wedding held in the palace and one held in the temple?”
“Huh? Well, if you get married in the Imperial Palace, you wave from the balcony of the watchtower on the ramparts, and if you get married in the temple, you march from the temple to the Imperial Palace through the capital. It used to vary depending on the power struggles between the temple and the imperial family at the time, but there isn’t a significant difference.”
“Still, Mother said she really wanted you to get married in the temple.”
“And why is that?”
“Because there’s a significant portion of people who think you might have incurred the wrath of God. They want to prove that you are a legitimate being, not abandoned by the other existing gods.”
“Hmm.”
I was now the Adversary of the Ninth God and a hero who had saved this world. Most people in this land were proud of what I had done.
However, the Sierran Empire was a nation that believed in gods while also not believing in them.
Ruben was careful not to let any unnecessary words reach my ears, but my hearing was much sharper than others’.
Those who didn’t believe in gods didn’t believe in me either. To them, Spiritus’s manifestation was a trick conjured by magic, and my return from disappearance was merely the seed of a trivial conspiracy theory.
Others also said, “Wouldn’t a god-slayer bear some kind of stigma? They say all other gods will curse you, so it’s best not to go near.”
Such whispers didn’t even tickle me, nor did they scare me.
Now I understood why the gods allowed those who insulted them to roam this land. No matter what they said, the truth remained unchanged. The power I possessed could easily drive them to despair, but I wanted them to simply be happy where they were.
But those who cherished me couldn’t be so nonchalant.
A child who worried about a scratch on my fingertip, regardless of whether I was a god or not, fiddled with their hands and suddenly asked,
“Those people who saved me…”
“…Mm.”
“They were also manifestations of God, weren’t they?”
“Yes.”
I answered easily, seeing no reason to hide it. Asdel then covered his face with both hands and let out a long sigh. What was he thinking with that small head of his?
However, what had already happened couldn’t be changed, and the child had grown enough that there was no need to pry into every thought. I just accepted it. Michael grumbled again.
“Anyway, when Mom and Dad come up, they’ll stay at the Valentia Townhouse for about one or two weeks.”
“Mm?”
“It’ll be hard to visit often after you get married.”
“… ”
As I hesitated to answer immediately, Michael glared at me.
“You have to get permission from His Majesty somehow. Are you going to live your whole life without seeing us? You’re getting married, not running away from home.”
“…That, no, no. You’re right… I will.”
Would Ruben grant permission?
I was already burdened with worry about how to bring it up.