By Zephyria 
To put it plainly, perhaps the time I was apart from Ruben was a bit long.
A few years ago, I could tell what the child was thinking just by listening to Ruben’s breathing. We spent a long time together, laughed often, and fell asleep pressed close.
Back then, the child treated me like his favorite horse. I felt I could walk into a furnace if Ruben commanded it, and Ruben, held in my arms, was always clever and wise.
Even during the Floyd Expedition, didn’t Ruben look at me with eyes full of trust and cheer me on when I said I was going to hunt giant monsters and gods?
But what about now?
I know well that Ruben still cherishes and loves me. I can also imagine how heartbroken and sorrowful he must have been while waiting for me.
However, Ruben couldn’t possibly be unable to bear even a very brief separation.
While Ruben does his work, I also do mine. Ruben had already told me his daily schedule, and I knew that whatever I did, Ruben would hear about it.
I have no idea what this cunning fox is thinking. Where did he get so angry?
Ruben was now the Emperor of the Empire. If anything, wasn’t Ruben busier than I was? Naturally, his imperial dignity…
…Is this the problem?
When I think about it, Ruben laughed a lot and threw tantrums a lot while we traveled the world together. Yet, since reuniting, I haven’t heard him ask me to do this or that. The most he ever did was whine that he was scared and ask me to watch over something.
I raised my head and observed him quietly.
Ruben was barely putting a few pieces of finely chopped carrot or beans into his mouth. He was pretending to eat, but nothing was actually going down his throat.
Watching him chew each bite for a long time, I made up my mind. I could tolerate anything but skipping meals.
First, I had to indulge him.
I pulled my chair over to his side. I scooped a large spoonful of the stew he hadn’t touched. As I brought it to his lips, Ruben’s eyes widened in surprise.
Now he was looking at my face properly.
Ruben, flustered, glanced around and bit his lower lip.
There were eyes everywhere in the Imperial Palace. In this dining hall alone, one attendant stood in each of the four corners, quietly watching Ikyun. To someone unfamiliar with martial arts, they were as silent as if they weren’t there, but Ruben and I would never forget their presence.
But I didn’t care. I felt just as embarrassed, but I decided to try my best not to mind. I simply tapped the tip of the spoon against his lips.
Hesitantly, Ruben opened his mouth and took the end of the spoon into his mouth. In an instant, I felt as proud and overwhelmed as if I had received a large bouquet of flowers. I watched him chew and swallow the food I’d given him, then scooped another spoonful of stew.
“Thank you, Mika. But you don’t have to…”
“Say ‘ah’.”
“No, I can eat it.”
“I know. I just want to do this.”
“…”
The hesitant child soon opened his mouth like a baby bird.
After coaxing and persuading the child who was whining that he couldn’t eat anymore, I managed to get him to eat almost a whole bowl of stew, leaving only three or four spoonfuls. I gazed at his shy face, and he couldn’t meet my eyes again. I couldn’t tell if he felt better or was just pretending to.
After the meal, I followed the child, who suggested a walk.
“Should we go to the greenhouse since it’s raining, or should we walk along the path with an umbrella?” As he chattered, I gently took his wrist. I didn’t pull hard, but Ruben melted into my arms as if he were made of soft butter, his face flushing again.
And then I said what I had to say.
“No, today… it would be best to go to the room a bit early.”
“…Huh?”
Ruben slowed his steps several times. Still, he followed me closely when I didn’t stop. As we walked down the corridor, we politely returned the greetings of the servants and Maidservants. It was fortunate that we were heading to the bedroom. Whether it was the greenhouse or anywhere else, there were too many people in the Imperial Palace.
Ruben’s living space was confined to three floors. I led the child into the bedroom on the uppermost floor and closed the door. I pulled the tense child over and sat him on the sofa.
Then, I knelt before him.
The child, who had been bewildered the whole time, opened his eyes wider than ever. He frantically reached out his hands as if to help me up, and I clasped them. Watching his pale face turn white and then red, I pressed my lips to the back of his hand.
Ruben swallowed a soft moan and called me again.
“Mikaaa… Why are you suddenly kneeling…?”
“I know I’ve done something wrong.”
“…Huh?”
“I’m not good with words, so I don’t know what to say.”
Come to think of it, it’s been a long time since I looked up at Ruben.
Ruben, growing anxious, began to bite his lower lip. As he often did to me, I rested my cheek against his palm. His trembling fingertips brushed against my cheek and folded my earlobe. His anxious touch made my insides churn.
I paused for a moment, then spoke gently.
“I will probably act like this again if the same thing happens. So, I hope Ruben can lend me his wisdom. If you know a way that won’t upset Ruben, then I…”
“…Heh.”
“…Hm?”
“Heh heh, hahaha! What is this, Mika? No, I, I…”
The laughter that poured out was fresh.
Would it be like this if you poured out a whole armful of morning sunlight? His eyes curved softly, and his cheeks were flushed red. The corners of his mouth, from which laughter spilled continuously, showed no sign of settling.
Thinking I should go all the way, I rested my chin on Ruben’s knee. Now Ruben was stroking my hair. He pushed my bangs back, clearing my vision. The child now stroked and massaged me to his heart’s content without hesitation.
I now realized anew how much I had missed this shining face.
As the child, who was about to reply, closed his mouth again, I pulled his wrist and pressed my lips to his palm. After a couple of soft kisses, I looked up, and Ruben’s shoulders slumped. As if he wanted to pull me into his embrace, I willingly crawled half a step forward and nestled into his arms.
I could hear Ruben’s heart beating close by. Thump-thump. It was strange how a heartbeat could be so cute.
“I… ha, this is really a problem I have to solve myself…”
“Mm.”
“I don’t know why I’m like this either. I know it in my head. That there’s no need for this, that everything is resolved… I know. But my heart won’t obey. I keep wanting to hold onto you, feeling like you’ll leave any second, and so, so…”
“Yes.”
“I want to lock you up…”
What?
I lifted my head from where I was nestled.
Ruben’s jawline, which was so clenched that it bulged, was swollen.
From his neck, which was within my sight, up to his cheeks, ears, and forehead, Ruben was flushed crimson like a ripe fruit, exhaling hot breaths a few more times.
Then, he covered my eyes with his hands. He blocked out all light.
“I know I’m being a bit cruel, Mika. I’m scared of myself sometimes…”
“Th-no. If you’re going to lock me up, where…?”
“…Well, obviously, in the bedroom…? I wouldn’t want to lock you in a prison, of course…”
Obviously?
No, is this a matter of location?
My vision, still covered by Ruben’s hands, was pitch black. Every time I blinked, the tips of my eyelashes brushed against Ruben’s palm, which was damp with sweat, more so than usual.
I had no idea what lovers did in either my past or present life. Usually, people didn’t play games of locking each other up, but if Ruben wanted it, it wasn’t impossible.
“Hmm, then…”
“No! Don’t try to understand, Mika. You don’t have to do this.”
“Yes? But.”
“It’s just, sometimes I like you so much… that I have violent thoughts. Sometimes, very rarely, I just imagine it, and I have no intention of making it happen…”
Even if Ruben were to lock me up, I wouldn’t be trapped without my will.
I had easily escaped Shinui’s binding. Even if a Magic Circle were used, I wouldn’t be caught, and if they tried to bind me with chains, I was confident I could break them like ropes. But then again, when I thought about it, it wasn’t impossible.
“Are you busy this weekend?”
“Hm? …No?”
“If it’s about three days, I think I can be locked up. Although I have etiquette lessons on Tuesday…”
“What is that…”
The end of the child’s voice melted away endearingly.
Curious about his expression, I pulled down the child’s hands covering my eyes. Ruben was smiling shyly again. Not sure if my answer was right, he looked bewildered, and Ruben kissed my forehead and eyes a few times before saying this:
“Please ask me out on a date more gently.”
“Yes. Then, please spend the weekend with me.”
“Where should we go?”
“…The bedroom?”
“…Don’t tease me.”
Did it sound like teasing? I was sincere.
In any case, I was relieved that Ruben’s mood had improved.
The theater, art gallery, jewelry exhibition, weapon shop… Various suggestions were mentioned. In the end, we decided on the botanical garden. I meekly agreed when he said he wanted to revisit the place where Ruben and I had our first date.
❖ ❖ ❖
Today, Sierren National Botanical Garden was empty.
Now I knew it was strange for the botanical garden to be this deserted on a weekend afternoon. I quietly looked at Ruben’s face, and he cleared his throat and smiled. I knew that when he smiled like that, I would smile too.
Well, we were already here, so there was no choice. But from now on, when we go to crowded places, I’ll just have to disguise myself. I didn’t want to be an unnecessary nuisance to others’ enjoyment.
Without any reproach, I entered through the wide-open main gate of the botanical garden. In one hand, I held Ruben’s hand, and in the other, a bento box beautifully prepared by the Imperial Palace chef.