By Zephyria 
When did I lose Kkokko?
The answer was clear. It was the moment I entered the 3rd Magic Tower. The creature hadn’t been by my side since then. After meeting Ranunculus and changing clothes, following Edwin’s lead, I had no memory of seeing him at all. I couldn’t recall when he had so naturally taken the monster from my arms.
I had completely forgotten, engrossed in thinking about what message to send.
Duke Widrow, seeing my surprised expression, continued his explanation in a voice full of sighs. I was dumbfounded by his behavior, which treated me like something pitiful and childish, but I had no words to retort and listened quietly.
“Since monsters became capable of berserking, the laws regarding monster handling have become quite strict, Mika. You are not a specialized Research Mage, and that goblin is clearly identified, its limbs aren’t clipped, and it hasn’t been neutralized. I ordered no one to touch it, just in case, but some things are simply not allowed.”
“…That’s…”
“Did that goblin perhaps provide any special assistance in your survival?”
Thanks to that creature, I had been able to return quickly.
It wasn’t an absolutely essential being. Still, I didn’t want to send away a creature that had trusted me and followed me. If I were to just drop a lone goblin outside the walls of Widrow Castle, how would it survive? Without much thought, I replied,
“Yes. Without it, I would have struggled for another three to four months.”
“…But,”
“Still, there’s no need to bring it directly to the capital. Could you perhaps look after it for me until I regain my qualifications and have the capacity to take care of it myself?”
Duke Widrow, who had been about to object, let out a sigh of relief.
The Widdrow Duchy was very close to monsters. The Magic Tower was teeming with qualified wizards. If I entrusted it to their care, I could at least feel some peace of mind. At the very least, it would eat on time and sleep on time, so its life would be preserved.
And if, by chance, something unfortunate were to happen, the danger posed by a single goblin could be resolved in time. Duke Widrow seemed to share my thoughts, nodding his head without hesitation.
“Then let’s do that. I’ll tell them to protect it well at the 3rd Magic Tower.”
“Yes. Thank you.”
If I had taken it with me, I would have been lucky if I didn’t drop it somewhere along the way due to my own disarray. To properly care for its pack, I would need permission on a national level. It would be much better for Kkokko if I sought Ruben’s advice after arriving in the capital.
Duke Widrow, who seemed quite concerned about Kkokko, returned to his cheerful demeanor once the topic was settled.
“I heard you sent word via Ranunculus. It only takes four days from here to the capital by Ranunculus, so don’t worry. Rest well for a day and depart tomorrow morning. I’ll provide a horse and carriage.”
“…Hmm.”
“…Huh? Surely, you’re not planning to walk?”
“Yes. I want to depart right now.”
“Now?”
I followed Duke Widrow’s gaze out the window.
The long day had passed, and it was a pitch-black night.
But I had already wasted so much time. My heart ached with the desire to see and comfort my loved ones as soon as possible. Every minute and second felt precious, and my insides melted away.
My body was capable of enduring seven days and nights without rest. I had been able to behave myself during the necessary examinations, but I had absolutely no intention of wasting time lying alone in bed.
Duke Widrow, observing my determined expression, asked again,
“Without sleeping for a day?”
“Yes.”
“…I suppose you must be in a hurry. Alright, do as you wish. I will send another message to the capital. To your family as well… to let them know you are healthy.”
“Yes. Thank you.”
I had no intention of asking about the current situation in the Widdrow Duchy.
Now that I had permission to go to the capital, all the myriad concerns of the world seemed trivial. I turned to leave immediately but stopped abruptly. The clothes Edwin Kiadris had given me were those worn by a knight of the Kiadris Duchy. Naturally, they were simple with few adornments.
“Um, perhaps…”
“Hm? Do you need something?”
“I plan to go directly to the Imperial Palace. If you have any useful accessories, could you lend me a few…?”
“…Huh?”
Thanks to that, I earned a hearty laugh.
Still, Duke Widrow helped me with great care.
She lent me a dress with jeweled buttons, a brooch, a cloak and gloves of decent material, and good quality boots. She even placed a vial of holy oil with a deep floral scent into my hand. When I caught a whiff, it felt like stepping into a garden blooming with hundreds of vibrant flowers, which made me quite embarrassed, but I didn’t dislike it and kept it carefully.
By the time I finished preparing myself, it was past two in the morning.
I bowed respectfully and left the Duke’s manor. As Duke Widrow saw me off, she asked if I wouldn’t contact the young Duke Kiadris. I replied that our relationship wasn’t that close, so such a thing wasn’t necessary, and asked her to convey my regards instead.
❖ ❖ ❖
It had been a week since I left Widrow Castle.
The walls of the Sierran capital were visible in the distance.
I remembered the day I left the capital to head for the Widdrow Duchy. It was a day when Marianne had grumbled about not wanting to sleep alone, and Ruben had lain beside me, counting stars and whispering.
Back then, it had taken me a full month to travel from the capital to Widrow Castle. Even though I had walked at a rather brisk pace then, looking back now, I realized how leisurely I had been.
I opened the pouch Duke Widrow had prepared and tore into the last piece of jerky. I wasn’t particularly hungry, but there was no need to abandon all human habits. Or rather, I did it because I felt like biting my own fingers.
What had I written in my will?
Had I said to wait for me as long as I wanted, and to meet someone else if I grew tired?
Several months had already passed since my funeral. What if the child had taken someone else into their heart during that time? It didn’t necessarily have to be Lady Yeldidus. The child also liked men like me, so perhaps…
I felt greatly anxious and extremely impatient.
I should have followed Ruben’s advice. If I had written, as the child suggested, that I would return anytime and to wait for me for years or decades, I wouldn’t be this restless.
Knowing how intelligent Ruben was, why couldn’t I have followed the child’s words exactly back then? If I ever had to write a will again, I would definitely ask them to wait for me while I was alive.
…No, wouldn’t that be too much like the first human thing to do?
While pondering these thoughts, I slowly reduced my speed and walked like a normal person. I hoped the knights who saw me from afar wouldn’t be tense. I took out the bundle of identification papers and entry permits I had carefully hidden in my pocket.
The worry that had plagued me for the past week resurfaced.
Would it be okay to go empty-handed?
Shouldn’t I have prepared something? I should have insisted on bringing Kkokko, even if just to hold it. I regretted my empty hands, having no gifts to offer.
Still, I didn’t want to meet the other children first to get gift advice. Even at a ball, I would be upset if I met someone else first, so that was out of the question.
What would Ruben need?
Ruben was now the Emperor.
Emperor.
It was a very unfamiliar title.
Ruben, now twenty-six years old, was ten years past adulthood. The image of Ruben blushing with his youthful cheeks and acting shy felt as close as yesterday. How could that child sit on the throne of the Son of Heaven and command the world?
I recalled Beneto Loki Sheeran, whom I had seen only once in passing. Ruben was now in that position. How majestic and splendid would he look? He would surely be melting many hearts.
He would already be clad in precious fabrics, so gifting jewelry or accessories would be difficult. Even hundreds or thousands of jewels would lose their luster before Ruben. The only thing the child had wanted…
…A ring?
Would my choice please the child?
I finally made a decision just as I was nearing the main gate. Yes, I would buy flowers. I remembered hearing that although they wither and disappear, they are the best gift for lovers. It would be better to choose something lasting by Ruben’s side.
Walking through the capital streets in the afternoon, I would naturally find a few flower shops. Regrettably, black flowers usually have unfortunate meanings, so I planned to make a vibrant bouquet mixing pink and blue hues. Then…
The knights, who had been tense since seeing me as small as a matchstick, greeted me with salutes. It was as if they had already heard that I would be arriving soon.
Fortunately, there were no people coming and going around the main gate, so I could stand before the open gate without waiting.
“Greetings.”
“Yes. Hello.”
A knight standing to the left extended his hand, and I handed him my papers.
Flutter. The document folder slowly turned.
I had read the contents within myself, but there was nothing particularly remarkable. It simply contained testimonies from three wizards clearly stating that there were no suspicious energies within my body, along with various test results to support it.
The knight, after confirming it again, returned the documents, and I took them.
The knights offered another respectful greeting.
“Thank you for saving this continent, Lord Ernhardt.”
“…Yes. Thank you. Then…”
“His Majesty is waiting. We will escort you to the carriage immediately.”
“…What?”
Immediately?
However, I was so bewildered by the smooth progression of events that I couldn’t find the words to refuse. I walked, half-dragged, to a precious carriage hitched to four horses. I greeted the coachman who was introduced to me and, as he opened the door, I got in.
The Sierran Empire’s emblem was embossed on the carriage’s exterior. The outside was very ornate, but the interior was even more so. I sat on a plush, soft red seat. I looked up at the ceiling, adorned with gold at every corner.
It was a carriage so well-made that almost no vibration could be felt as the scenery flashed by the window. With this, would I have the leisure to stop anywhere else?
Just in case, I looked through the small window leading to the coachman’s seat. If I asked them to stop the carriage for a moment, they would likely do so. But…
Just sitting here, thinking I would see Ruben, I couldn’t speak.
Now I truly felt like I had returned to my country. I pressed my chest firmly with one hand to calm my wildly beating heart. The sound of my heart pounded in my head.
Is this what it feels like to suffer from Cultivation Deviation? I felt greatly dizzy.
I leaned my temple against the carriage window and looked outside. It was so enchanting that nothing else registered. I could only vaguely grasp that the entire world was beautiful.