By Zephyria 
After sitting face to face and sighing deeply for a long time, at some point our eyes met, and I awkwardly pulled up the corners of my mouth.
Right, sighing deeply while holding onto Hugh Benson wouldn’t solve anything. Still, it was fortunate that I managed to send Rubel away nicely without showing my jealousy in my absent state.
In my past life, I considered it a virtue to hide my inner thoughts even when something bothered me. I never spoke about difficult or joyful things. However, after pouring it all out like this, I feel embarrassed but also relieved.
So, I didn’t hide my thanks and expressed them immediately.
“Still, thanks to your advice, I feel a bit… better. Thank you.”
“Uh, well… What did I even do?”
“Because I learned why I was so upset. It’s better than not knowing.”
Hugh Benson hesitated, then sat up straighter on the sofa and asked.
“…What are you going to do?”
“Well… what can I do? Having many friends is a good thing, and it’s not something I should interfere with. I just plan to ask what they talked about and leave it at that.”
“…Right, right. I don’t think you would do anything else… but don’t get angry or possessive unnecessarily.”
“Yes. I will be careful.”
He ran his hands over his face and added one more thing.
“Be careful with the physical intimacy progress too, kid. For knights like us, our bodies are our assets, our bodies.”
“…That.”
“Don’t say it. Don’t say any more. Just listen. Just that. I don’t want to know more. Shut up, quickly.”
“…Yes.”
That made sense too. Although I didn’t feel like I would do anything more with Rubel right now… it was right for me to be careful.
My hands felt strangely itchy. The palm Rubel had healed with an artifact that dawn now bore no trace. Back then, I was afraid I would get injured in the same spot often, but now, my healed hand felt strangely disappointing.
Feeling embarrassed, I looked for something to change the subject and suddenly remembered something.
“…Um, Seonbae.”
“What now?”
“What is the Oasis Scent?”
“…Out of the blue?”
“Last time, Elwin Seonbae… said I smelled like an Oasis, but I have no idea what it means.”
“Elwin? You?”
“Yes.”
Hugh Benson’s face, which had been crumpled moments before, smoothed out as if it had been ironed.
Hugh Benson blinked his large, round eyes a couple of times, then stroked his chinless jaw and pondered for a long time. Then, he looked at me intently.
As his gaze swept over me from head to toe, I wondered if he could see the scent. I hesitated, unsure how to act, but he waved his hand and told me to sit comfortably, so I sat up straight again.
“The term ‘Oasis Scent’… is a literal translation. How much do you know about the nomads of the Shatun Desert?”
“…While trading with the Felix region… people who wander and live in the desert…? I heard they sometimes raise livestock.”
“That’s right. And usually, they hunt monsters and get food by selling the byproducts.”
I had heard about the Shatun Desert from various places. It covers half the continent to the west, has extreme temperature differences between day and night, is covered in sand everywhere, and is a place where traces of various gods remain.
Of the five kingdoms, Felix is the most directly influenced by the Shatun Desert, and I had often heard that it acts as an intermediary between the nomads and the other five kingdoms.
However, I had never thought about how those nomads, the wanderers, lived.
If Elwin underwent some kind of trial before entering Shierun Academy, he must have proven his exceptional abilities even from his nomadic days. It seems he also made a living selling hunted monsters from a young age.
If he had been hunting monsters from an early age, it makes sense that he is so strong now. His claim of having eaten monster meat might not be a lie either.
Hugh Benson explained a few more characteristics of the nomads.
“The language systems of the five kingdoms and the Sierran Empire are mostly similar. They use slightly different words, and the accents vary by region, but… they can all communicate. After all, they live close to each other. Even if the way they speak is a bit different, they can mostly understand it when written.”
“Yes.”
“But the nomads are different. On this land as vast as the Sierran Empire, other villages are about a month to two months’ walk away. So, they don’t meet.”
“Why?”
“If they stayed in one place, they would eventually meet. But since they are constantly moving towards unassigned destinations, if they’re unlucky, they might never meet people from other tribes in their lifetime.”
“…Hmm.”
Hugh Benson’s fingertips traced patterns on the table like drawing a map. His left index finger and right index finger spun in opposite directions, and I watched them quietly. If a small number of humans wander across a vast land without villages, that could happen.
Still, they are also human, and there must be days when they move to interact with other tribes, but I didn’t voice that thought.
“That’s why their language systems are all over the place. Some tribes use languages that are only understood within their own tribe, and they have many unique customs. Elwin also seemed like he came from another world at first.”
“In what way?”
” ‘The ship is despairing.’ I think that meant ‘I’m hungry’… But that guy was quick-witted and seemed to understand what others were saying. He said back home they communicated with the sound of the wind and hand signals, and in the Empire, he spoke with a clumsy accent, but there were so many people trying to take advantage of him that he stopped talking.”
“…Ah. Then the phrase ‘Oasis Scent’ would also have a different meaning when translated into the Sierran language.”
“Uh-huh. Right. So… Fate?”
Fate?
I blinked, surprised by the sudden, grand word. Hugh Benson continued.
“A wish, connection, life… Should I consider it a concept like that…?”
“…Elwin Seonbae, about me?”
“No, it’s not that it has that kind of meaning. How should I put it…”
Hugh Benson hesitated for a moment, casually sipping his tea, which had brewed to a bitter strength, and rolled his large eyes. The answer he finally gave was uncertain.
“Nomads live by relying on intuition. From what I see, it’s probably just spirituality or luck that people born with a Mana-affinity possess. Elwin’s is particularly strong… so he might have sensed something. A goal? A destination? It could mean something like that.”
“…Hmm.”
“Nomads cannot survive without oases, so it’s definitely a good meaning. If you’re really curious, ask him properly later. I’ll translate for you.”
“…Yes, thank you.”
After that, he spent a long time talking about how choosing to learn Elwin’s unique language was a much better decision for him to communicate normally with Elwin than teaching Elwin the Sierran Imperial language.
That was also an interesting and engaging story, so I didn’t get up until it was almost evening.
❖ ❖ ❖
Rubel returned very late.
Our rooms in the Duke’s mansion were all on the same corridor. I sat up abruptly when I sensed Elwin and Rubel in the hallway, but Rubel was just hesitating in front of my door, unable to knock. It was close to midnight, after all. Since I hadn’t hidden my presence, he must have sensed me approaching the door, yet Rubel looked a little surprised. As always, he quietly held his breath and stared at my face, then smiled softly and spoke in a shy voice.
“You’re not asleep?”
“Yes. …Would you like to come in?”
“Yes.”
A faint Alcoholic Fragrance wafted.
In the Sierran Empire, nobles did not touch alcohol before the age of eighteen. While there were many regions where alcohol was used as medicine, and thus not prohibited by age, the prevailing custom was not to drink alcohol before graduation due to the demanding and difficult studies at the Academy.
Did Rubel leave me to go drink? It seemed he was being considerate because my physical age was younger than other graduates.
However, if that were the case, the child had worried unnecessarily. Eating poisonous substances is not much different from eating alcohol, so how could I, who had ingested dozens of poisonous substances, be unable to drink a glass of alcohol?
…Is he still hurt that I left him behind? My own distress seems ridiculously funny.
What’s the point of dwelling on something that has already passed?
As if nothing had happened, I led the child into the reception room of my chamber.
Rubel sat on the sofa where he usually sat, and I, as usual, heated water. Seeing me stir honey into Rubel’s teacup instead of sugar, the child chuckled softly.
“Ah… You figured it out right away.”
“Did you drink a lot?”
“No, no… Just a little. I just had one glass.”
“Just one glass?”
“No, two glasses… three glasses…?”
The child held the teacup with both hands and sipped the honey water.
I sat down next to him. It had become a habit for Rubel to lean on my shoulder and act spoiled, so I did just that. However, Rubel didn’t lean on me immediately. He just stared blankly at the empty teacup with a little honey pooled in it.
So, I spoke first.
“They must have been close friends.”
“…Yes. They were classmates who entered together, after all… All three are from Marquisates, so I’ve seen them often since I was young.”
“Are they close families to the Marquisate of Antines?”
“Yes.”
He meant acquaintances on his mother’s side. That’s why he had called Princess Lucilla’s name so easily.
I wanted to ask more, but there were no questions I could voice. It was my fault that I hadn’t known about Rubel’s classmates until now. I had memorized the names of the Marquisates on Rubel’s side in the Nobility Yearbook class, but I hadn’t considered their level of friendship with Rubel.
I had no intention of complaining that he hadn’t told me in advance, when I hadn’t bothered to find out myself.
As Rubel tentatively reached for my hand, I willingly offered one. The child pressed his thumbs into my palm and then gently held it. The warmth of his hand was hotter than usual.
“…What did you do today?”
“I was with Hugh Benson Seonbae.”
“The two of you?”
“Yes? Yes.”
I was more surprised than he was, unable to understand why he was so astonished.
279 – WNC 279
Ruben tightly gripped my hand and stared intently at my face.
The child’s surprised expression was bewildered, and the ticklish closeness of his breath made me feel embarrassed. After a moment, I lightly shook the child’s hand to get his attention. Ruben’s gaze flickered between our clasped hands and my puzzled face.
Ruben seemed to sit up obediently, then leaned his cheek against my shoulder.
“Why?”
“No… No.”
“Did you agree to see those friends again tomorrow?”
“No. …I just told them to see me later. Tomorrow, I have to train…”
“I see.”
My hand was held so tightly that I couldn’t even take a sip of tea, and time flowed by gently. The usually quiet Ruben suddenly lifted his head and examined my face.
He said he’d only had a little, but was he drunk? If I hadn’t pulled away, our chins would have collided.
“I… I went like that.”
“Yes? Yes.”
“…Weren’t you hurt?”
He knew.
Seeing him ask this, I wondered if he knew I would be hurt but still desperately wanted to go, or if he had deliberately left me behind to make me feel hurt. He was so cute, though.
I replied in a deliberately calm tone.
“Well.”
“…Mikaa.”
“I assumed you had aspects you didn’t want to show me.”
“…”
I saw the child press his lips together tightly at the edge of my vision.
“You said you wouldn’t hide anything, that you’d treat me honestly.”
“It’s not… that…”
“It’s okay, though.”
It was a playful response, but also my honest feelings.
When Ruben first told me he wanted to go out without me, I was naturally surprised and bewildered, but Hugh Benson was right. Everything should be done in moderation.
We had spent a great deal of time together. I had become accustomed to looking at Ruben from the moment I opened my eyes until I closed them, or even when I thought of him in my sleep. This was not a normal situation. It was right for me to let go of some of my desires.
I vaguely recalled what my life was like when I was Ruben’s age in my past life. However, I knew well that boys of that age often wanted to hang out with their peers, away from adult eyes.
It was all natural. I didn’t want to get upset and scold the child over every little thing.
“…It was okay?”
“Mmm…”
Had I given the wrong answer? I pondered for a moment, but decided to be more honest.
“Of course, I thought about meeting Ruben’s friends on this occasion… but if Ruben didn’t want to, I didn’t want to force him. I’m not anything to Ruben yet…”
“That… No, Mika. It’s not like that.”
“…Hm?”
“…Because I was embarrassed…”
“Huh? What…”
The child pulled my hand and instinctively buried his face in my palm. Caught off guard, I held the child’s warm breath in my grasp and playfully touched his straight nose alternately with my middle and ring fingers.
Then, feeling his breath grow damp, I spread my fingers apart and looked at Ruben through the gap. Had I been too mischievous? Looking into his dark eyes, which were becoming teary as if he might cry at any moment, I adjusted my posture.
“I… I’ve liked you for a really long time.”
“…Cough.”
“So… in front of you, I want to seem… good…”
“…Yes. And then?”
“When I try to be like that… those friends keep teasing me…”
Oh, dear.
I couldn’t hold back my laughter. As I laughed heartily, Ruben’s already flushed earlobes turned bright red. Before Ruben could shed more pitiful tears, I quickly pulled him closer and sat him on my lap.
The child wrapped his arms around my neck and buried his face in my shoulder, breathing raggedly. I wrapped my arms around Ruben and gently rocked him as if soothing a child. His warm body filled my embrace.
The warmth, heated by his embarrassment, made my insides tingle.
I slowly stroked his broad back. Laughter kept bubbling up, and mischievous questions kept popping out.
“You didn’t want me to be jealous, did you?”
“…Not… not entirely…”
“You wanted to see me jealous, and at the same time, you wanted to get rid of those teasing friends in front of me?”
“…Yes.”
I could feel the frantic beating of his heart against my chest.
With one hand, I slowly stroked the child’s prominent shoulder blades, and with the other, I gently pressed my thumbs into the back of his head and his warm nape. His breath was still damp, and my earlobes tickled.
I didn’t have to think long about how to comfort him; my words came easily.
“I knew.”
“…Knew what?”
“That Ruben acts particularly cute in front of me. I’ve heard it from many places.”
“….”
“So, what does it matter?”
Even with this gentle coaxing, I worried about his shoulders trembling slightly. I nudged him slightly, creating space between us.
The child, sitting on my lap, had red cheeks, wet eyes, and a warm breath.
…I was astonished that I could harbor such sinister thoughts even while seeing the child look so miserable.
As I slowly stroked the back of his torso, I had him lean against me again, patting the space between his shoulder blades. Just as the people of Sierren would treat a very young child.
“Aren’t I also a bit different in front of Ruben?”
“…How?”
“Well… I keep holding your hand. Or asking you to hold me like this.”
“…Only me?”
“Yes.”
Ruben pushed away from my chest and sat up straight, blinking his eyes demurely. I watched, captivated, as a slow dawning of joy bloomed on his face as he pondered. I could spend twenty days just gazing at him like this.
Even as Ruben’s breathing gradually returned to normal, my heart pounded wildly. I let him burrow into my embrace again, wrapping his arms around my neck.
After all, when I first met him, Ruben was always mature and composed.
I remembered how he used to stand tall, as if he had never thrown a tantrum, and survey his surroundings with his slender eyes. Now I knew how much courage it took for him to nod, hand me a notebook, and turn away.
But I only knew that he acted cuter and cuter towards me, and I didn’t know he was shy about showing that side to his friends. That this acting spoiled, cute, and pitiful was only in front of me.
The more I thought about it, the funnier it became, and the more my heart melted with amusement.
“I did have some other worries.”
“…What worries?”
“I was worried that I might have done something wrong, and that Ruben was upset.”
“….”
“It’s my first time… dealing with this…”
“…Huh?”
His warm body shifted twice in my embrace and then pulled away halfway. Looking into his wide, startled black eyes, I finally revealed my hidden feelings.
“…I was worried that because I was clumsy, Ruben might have disliked it…”
“Wh-what. No, no.”
“When I introduced Ruben to my friends, I thought it was natural for him to be by my side as a close friend… I also thought it might be more comfortable for me not to get too close to Ruben’s acquaintances.”
“Nooo…”
He stretched out the end of his words again. He knew it would be cute.
How did he know? He was so adorably cute it made me feel faint. I bit my lower lip, suppressing a laugh, and continued speaking.
“No, I mean it. If Ruben were to become Emperor in the future, it could lead to unpleasant situations if all his acquaintances were as close as one person. It’s right to be cautious from now on.”
Then Ruben hesitantly opened his mouth.
“…It’s not that, I was upset.”
“Yes.”
“I was… upset…”
“Yes.”
Ruben squeezed his eyes shut.
He opened and closed his mouth several times, struggling, then said “Noooo” once more, and collapsed into my arms. What could possibly be so difficult to say that he struggled so much?
But I didn’t want to pressure the child, who had already been through so much. If he had something to say, he would say it someday. I just patted him until he fell asleep soundly, then moved him to the bed in Ruben’s room.
❖ ❖ ❖
The rest of December passed uneventfully.
Duchess Felice Withrow met with me once a month to check on my well-being. She saw through my impatience and offered this advice:
“A person’s body is like a sword; if you don’t oil it in time, it will easily rust. Now is the time to rest, so you can afford to relax your mind a little more.”
“…But.”
“Rest well when you rest, and when you go out on subjugation missions again, immerse yourself in dense Mana and swing your sword, and you will eventually reach the realm you desire, Mika. Don’t rush too much.”
“Duchess, do you think I have a chance against Wesley Kiadris?”
“Hmm… I haven’t seen that child in person either.”
After a moment of thought, she spoke casually and laughed.
“But you received a deeper Blessing of Mana than he did, didn’t you? Even if it’s not now, who knows when the time comes to choose the Crown Prince. You’re growing three or four years faster than him.”
Her words were a comfort.
I also arranged a meeting to be introduced to Rubel’s three friends.
Rubel had not yet been permitted to go out into the city. Therefore, I chose a suitably sized hall within the ducal estate, gave the servants a few gold coins, and asked them to pay special attention to the food preparation.
Even though they were Rubel’s friends, I didn’t fully trust them, so I seated the two senior knights who accompanied me for security in the place of honor, and sat Benjamin and Rubel on either side of me. Looking at Rubel’s friends, I was reminded of a certain new year festival when I met unfamiliar children one by one, and I smiled.
It was impressive how all three children were extremely polite to me, no matter what Rubel had said to them.
Justin Barret, in particular, did not act friendly or touch Rubel this time. It made me laugh wryly to realize that they weren’t usually like that, but had deliberately played those pranks to show me.
The three of them said they planned to return to the capital immediately after this new year festival.
It was mentioned that not only them, but most of the younger ones who held suitable titles and didn’t need to sacrifice their lives in the Yuil Mountains, would be excluded from the next subjugation.
“…Are there that many people being excluded?”
“Mmm… It’ll be about thirty to forty people. I heard some of the seniors who spent more than three years in the Yuil Mountains are staying.”
“It’s a dangerous time to travel in small groups, so knights and wizards heading to the capital have decided to gather and travel together on a set date.”
Hugh Benson, listening from the side, twisted his lips askew. He didn’t openly sneer, but he probably thought to himself, Noble bastards.
Only I, who stole a glance at his expression, coughed awkwardly.