By Zephyria 
In the Sierran Empire, marrying someone of the same sex required somewhat twisted procedures, such as legally changing one’s gender with a sibling of the same bloodline. Without such steps, one could only remain as openly acknowledged lovers without marriage, like Walter and Calypse.
A sharp stone is bound to be struck, and a protruding nail is bound to cause injury.
I happened to meet a lovely Child and cherished them, and my kin also regarded them closely, treating each other affectionately. Even blinded by love, I tried to look around. Since I had brought it up, I wanted to resolve all my curiosities.
“Perhaps, me liking a man… does it dishonor my parents’ name?”
The answer didn’t come immediately.
However, the voice that was carefully crafted after long deliberation was only tender.
“That’s not what I… what we are worried about, Mika.”
“…”
“No matter what kind of love you have… I just hope you don’t get hurt. Because it’s a path I’ve never walked, because it’s a field I know nothing about… I’m afraid that when you’re hurting, I might not notice.”
“…”
“You’ve always been a mature Child. That’s why I’m even more worried, I guess.”
As Mother’s eyes began to moisten, Father took out his handkerchief and handed it to me. I obediently followed Father’s wish and gently dabbed Mother’s eyes with the handkerchief.
At times like this, Mother seemed to revert to the scrawny little Child she was when she was first born.
Kind and lovely. She smiled at me tenderly.
“Now that I’ve had my Debutante and become an adult, I’m a mature adult.”
“Still, you’re still…”
“Don’t worry, I won’t hesitate to ask for help when I need it. I’m really okay.”
I was delighted the whole time while receiving her sulky gaze.
As it was late at night, I didn’t prolong the time any further and bid them goodnight, sending both parents into the bedroom. How could a grown-up be so prone to tears?
Mother from my past life must have had nights like this where she shed tears. Still, since both of them lived long lives under Namgung’s protection, I wasn’t too distressed.
I was just worried about comforting my current life’s Mother on the day I would soon ascend the Yuil Mountains.
❖ ❖ ❖
I decided to attend this New Year Festival without a partner.
Five maids and seven servants helped with my grooming.
Waking up early in the morning was neither difficult nor strenuous. However, it was extremely tedious to wait quietly while they rubbed fragrant oil with a strong floral scent or firmly fixed my hair with something like beeswax so that not a single strand would flutter in the wind.
Last year, they had kept the fluffy texture of my hair to preserve a youthful look, but now it was time to show a more mature appearance, and I couldn’t argue with the servant’s eloquent words. I simply told them to do as they pleased and sat still, enduring three hours of grooming.
However, when I looked in the mirror after all the grooming was done, I was quite satisfied and unconsciously stroked my cheeks with my hand.
My hair was neatly styled, swept back to reveal my forehead, and not a single strand moved even when I shook my head. My vision was clear, and it was comfortable without anything obstructing it. Since the one who would be looking at my face the closest was already decided, it would be better to look good, no matter what.
I wore a dark beige scarf tied around a soft, cream-colored shirt with a raised collar. The texture of the fabric, puffed up slightly in front of my collarbones, was smooth and pleasant to touch.
There was a slight argument because wearing the locket Rubel had given me inside the clothes might spoil the look, but we compromised by puffing up the scarf a bit more.
The earth-toned jacket and the darker pants were strange clothes with subtly different colors in the warp and weft, so the color changed every time they caught the light. I was seized by idle curiosity, but I figured it must be true since they said it was an outfit that looked great under the New Year Festival chandeliers.
The gem pinned to the scarf was a clear water color, and the gems on the buttons and sleeves were reddish-brown. I heard the names of the gems but quickly forgot them. After putting on shoes made of three layers of shaped leather, it was morning.
I got into the carriage with my family’s farewells.
Since I had experienced it once before, I wasn’t worried even without someone chattering beside me.
The Opal Palace still shone brightly. As soon as I entered the well-polished building, I was met with attention. Familiar Children recognized me and gestured for me to come closer, but I only gave a cursory greeting and looked for Rubel first.
That was how they usually acted in romance novels. For whatever reason, I didn’t want to upset the Child over something trivial.
Rubel, who was sitting on the familiar high seat, greeted me brightly as soon as he saw me and approached.
Today, the Child was wrapped in a deep navy blue like the night sky. Half of his black hair was let down, and the other half was twisted up with a dainty hairpin.
I was very fortunate that the Empire was a place where it was natural for both men and women to adorn themselves with jewels. It would have been a great loss if I couldn’t have put something that suited him so well.
The Child, who was stylishly dressed in a thin, long coat that came down to his knees, quickly placed his hand on mine.
It was a sign to kiss the back of his hand. But he wasn’t a noblewoman who should receive such a kiss. And since I didn’t have a knightly title yet, I had no obligation to kiss the outstretched hand. Knowing full well that he was teasing, I didn’t give him the kiss he wanted. I simply held his cool fingertips until they became lukewarm and then let go.
“Why are you so late? I’ve been waiting since morning.”
“You’re telling me funny stories. It’s not even lunchtime yet.”
“Still…”
Seeing the Child lower the corners of his eyebrows as if he was sulking, my heart sank even though I knew it was a joke. Rubel, who had been carefully observing my embarrassment, put on a kind expression. He was both hateful and lovely.
Soon, the Child smiled brightly and whispered in a gentle voice.
“This time too, can I have your first dance?”
“Yes.”
First dance, my foot. I was filled with exasperation at his pretense, knowing full well that I would never dance with another Child.
I was still reluctant to touch the bodies of girls. No other boy asked me to dance besides Rubel. Those close to me already knew that I had feelings for Ruben, so it was even more so.
Ruben and I stood side by side, watching the boys and girls who had debuted this year smiling brightly and frolicking to the music for a long time. As soon as the melody of the Autumn Dance began to play, I grabbed his hand and pulled him along. I familiarly placed my hand on the Child’s waist.
There was a time when I had grabbed this waist as if I wanted to crush it. Now, I didn’t think I could do it even if someone offered me a fortune, and a laugh leaked out through my teeth. Rubel lowered his head and asked me in my ear why I was laughing.
Instead of answering, I said something else.
“Where did he go?”
“He? …Ah. Well, he was here just a moment ago… I don’t really know. Should I tell someone to look for him?”
“Hmm, yes.”
I was talking about Wesley. Ruben was perceptive, so he understood well even if I only said this much.
Even if I didn’t participate in the Summer Hunting Festival because Wesley would be embarrassed to come, it was only natural for Wesley Kiadris to be by the side of the First Prince Richard, as he was performing his duties as a guard knight.
But now, only Richard was sitting quietly in the place overlooking the dancers.
I wouldn’t stop being wary of him, but I didn’t even reject the Child in my arms who was whispering that such worries could wait until this song was over.
Step half a step to the right, wrap around the waist and turn halfway, face each other and take three steps forward, then three steps back… Even though it was the first time I had danced in nearly a year, every gesture and step flowed smoothly. Was it because Rubel was leading me well? Every step was enjoyable and enchanting.
I racked my brains to bring up a lighter topic.
“After the dance, I think I’ll have a meal with my friends.”
“Ah… Will you?”
“Yes. I hope Ruben will join us too, like last year.”
The Child, who couldn’t answer immediately and hesitated, brought his lips close to my ear.
“…Can’t it be just the two of us?”
“No.”
“…Huh?”
My ear tingled, so I tilted my head slightly.
It wasn’t that the laws of the Sierran Empire were wrong. It was that this Child was so innocent that he didn’t even realize he was seducing a perfectly normal man. Pretending that nothing had happened, I continued dancing and replied.
“Since Ruben and I will be spending time together every day afterward anyway, I should greet them right away at first. If you want to introduce Ruben’s friends to me, that’s fine too.”
“…”
Since the Child didn’t answer, I glanced up, wondering if he was making a sulky face again.
…What did I say? I had no idea why this Child’s neck was flushed red and he was getting impatient.
Taken aback, I stopped walking, but Rubel took the lead and started dancing again. The secretive and calm tone of the Winter Dance was just like my heart right now. I coughed a couple of times to hide my embarrassment.
“Why?”
“No… Well. That’s right. Introduce my friend… I want to, hmm.”
“Come to think of it, I haven’t seen you hanging out with other Children separately. Perhaps.”
“Ah, no. It’s not that I don’t have friends…”
The Child shook his head in embarrassment. I was momentarily distracted by the way the ends of his hair fluttered like silk in response to his movements, then I looked up. My heart was shaken every time our eyes met at close range, but I didn’t show it.
“Not?”
“Well… I had a lot of Swordsmanship Department friends. They’ve all gone to the Yuil Mountains now.”
“Ah… I see.”
There were several seniors in the Swordsmanship Department who had been friendly to me as well. I remembered a few of them with easygoing personalities greeting Rubel warmly. Other than that, Lucilla or Matt Nico were the only ones who could be said to be around Rubel, but both of them were too busy playing to take care of Rubel.
Thanks to that, I confidently asked for the Child’s time again.
“So it would be good to gather the Children and have a meal together.”
“Okay, I will.”
Rubel answered obediently and shyly lowered his eyes.
Looking at that figure made me feel as thirsty as if I had swallowed a handful of sand. As soon as one dance was over, I pulled the Child and moved to the beverage display.
Rubel followed me obediently even if I grabbed him and pulled him somewhere without saying anything. I was newly worried about the Child’s innocent attitude, so I firmly told him not to follow just anyone.