By Zephyria 
The Intermediate Swordsmanship Class, which did not have a separate written exam, was not canceled.
As expected, as soon as I stepped into the martial arts training ground, I ran into familiar faces. I patted Bill’s broad back a couple of times as he smiled brightly at me and waved his arms, and I greeted Benjamin, who nodded his head in greeting towards me.
After watching Shayden, with whom I had breakfast, chat with my companions, I turned my gaze to Rubel, who was walking directly towards me.
I tried to greet him without awkwardness. When I acknowledged him with a nod, Rubel looked down at me thoughtfully before lowering his head slightly.
…He wanted me to pet him. Until just the other day, I would have casually stroked the child’s smooth hair and chided him. But my fingertips stiffened, and I didn’t know what to do.
Rubel waited patiently. Not even his breathing could be heard. I carefully placed my hand on the top of the child’s head.
Then, the child suddenly hugged my waist tightly and buried himself in my arms.
The breath touching my neck was hot.
“…Don’t avoid me, I won’t do it again.”
Ah.
The voice that reached my ears was dry. I had no idea what the child had been thinking all weekend. My heart felt like it was freezing. I couldn’t even twitch a finger.
As I stood there, stunned and bewildered, Rubel released me from his embrace and stood up straight, a smile on his face.
That smile was so beautiful, so beautiful, so beautiful…
I couldn’t offer any reply.
The Intermediate Swordsmanship Class began. I was reprimanded several times for my lack of focus.
This was the first time I had ever found it so hard to concentrate on my studies. Learning and mastering new things had always been a joy, and I had lived my life cherishing each fulfilling day.
But today, my heart was anything but at ease.
Sitting in the Intermediate Alchemy lecture hall, I heard Rubel’s voice echoing in my ears throughout the entire time I received feedback on the report I submitted last week.
“I won’t do it again.” What was he not going to do? I knew the child’s heart was hurt, but I couldn’t even begin to guess what decision he had made because of it.
Marianne, smiling brightly, teased me, asking if I was troubled because I was still popular. I simply replied with a noncommittal “no.” I didn’t want to spread Rubel’s situation around.
I realized anew how much I cherished the child.
Tuesday.
It was Advanced Swordsmanship class. Rubel greeted me with a casual expression and watched the sparring as if nothing was wrong.
However, I was bothered by the mere absence of the gaze that always used to fall upon my cheek, and I didn’t know what to do. I had become accustomed to the child always looking at me. It was absurd.
The World Geography and Basic First Aid classes in the afternoon were canceled, as we had exams last week.
With my entire afternoon free, I debated for a long time whether to ask Rubel to hang out with me.
He was the one who had asked me, “Will you play with me just once?” Knowing that Rubel would be well aware of my schedule, I couldn’t bring myself to suggest we go out together since he hadn’t initiated it.
So, I spent the entire afternoon practicing my sword in the martial arts training ground. It was a large training ground where many children came and went freely.
It wasn’t until the sun began to set, casting a red glow across the training ground, that I realized I had been waiting for Rubel.
I suppose I had thought that if I stayed here, the child would come to me first.
A sense of emptiness washed over me.
Wednesday.
Rubel, who used to lean on me every morning expecting his head to be stroked, no longer did so.
Unable to bear the longing in my fingertips, I randomly stroked the head of Bill, who greeted me with a foolish expression.
His coarse, fluffy hair, like a chestnut burr, was distinctly different from Rubel’s, and I was not satisfied.
Bill, whose hair stood on end in surprise, laughed brightly and spouted nonsense, saying that I seemed to be in a good mood today. I just pinched his cheek.
I suppressed a sigh that welled up as I watched Rubel’s gaze fixed on Ikyun.
I thought I was accustomed to self-reflection. I had always been confident in my thoughts and the path my life was taking.
But this time, it was different. I couldn’t do it. Without realizing it, I found myself staring blankly at Calypse Agrigent throughout the Imperial Genealogy Class.
Shayden shook my shoulder and advised me to look at the handout, but it was only for a moment.
As soon as class ended, I jumped up and followed Calypse.
I knew his gaze towards me was filled with discomfort. But he was the only one I could ask. He was a man who didn’t hesitate to teach me various things, even as a professor.
I asked quietly.
“Professor, there’s something I’d like to ask.”
“…Please, speak.”
“When you realized you had feelings for Orgen, how did you feel?”
“What?”
Calypse, unable to hide his surprised expression, looked at me and then glanced around. He asked again.
“Young Master Ernhardt, why are you curious about that?”
“Me.”
“…”
“…”
“Me, and?”
“…A much younger person, seems to like me…”
“What?”
Calypse looked up at the ceiling and took a deep breath. I waited patiently, expecting him to give me an answer, but the voice that came back to me was filled with anger.
“Are you joking with me right now?”
Even if I said it wasn’t a joke, he scolded me, saying that since I was only fourteen, I should come back when I was twenty and ask such questions, and I had no way to respond.
While my heart was still complicated and confused, I lost the means to find an answer and felt completely drained.
Because of this, I couldn’t concentrate in the Practical Flying Dagger Technique class, and I lacked energy even during my private lesson with Wilton after class.
I tried hard to calm my mind, telling myself I shouldn’t, I shouldn’t, but it wasn’t easy. Naturally, Wilton, who easily noticed my state, stopped giving advice on footwork and looked at my complexion.
“Did something happen today?”
“…Do I look that strange?”
“Very.”
“No, well…”
“…”
“…It must be because I’m still young.”
“…?”
I apologized politely to Wilton and decided to end the lesson early. Wilton, patting my shoulder, added a piece of advice in a calm voice.
“Whatever it is, most things are resolved by time. Keep a calm mind, wait patiently, and the answer will appear. Don’t miss that moment.”
“…Yes. Thank you.”
His advice didn’t deeply resonate with me, and I just nodded weakly.
Thursday.
Throughout the Advanced Swordsmanship class, Rubel and I never made eye contact. I stared at Rubel’s cool expression for a long time.
The memory of the child smiling brightly and looking back at me just last week felt like a dream. The frustration was immense.
Douglas coughed up blood again in the afternoon. Although his Qi and blood had become thick and strong through consistent training, that was all. His internal energy flowed around his Qi and blood, but his Mana scraped against it.
Even amidst my own troubles, I worried about him. When I advised him again that it would be best not to create a Dantian, Douglas smiled bitterly and nodded.
“Hmm, I secretly thought this would be my last attempt. Still, since I’ve grasped the principles to some extent, I plan to combine it with my knowledge of Mana manipulation and find other methods applicable to the human body.”
“Then.”
“Yes, I plan to experiment with Golems again for a while.”
Boulder, who had been watching from the side, quickly chimed in.
“We’ve made three more Golems in the meantime. One will be set up according to Professor Mustang’s method, one with my method, and the last one will be set up to operate the Mind method along the Acupoint path Young Master Ernhardt envisioned.”
“…Is this one transparent too?”
“Yes? Of course.”
I was so troubled that the sigh I let out through my teeth felt as heavy as a mountain.
❖ ❖ ❖
Friday.
Although I had spent all night agonizing and came up with an answer, I had no idea if it was the right way. However, I didn’t have the strength to endure another week feeling this way.
During the Intermediate Swordsmanship class, I looked for an opportunity but couldn’t bring myself to speak to Rubel.
Perhaps sensing me glancing at him, Shayden, who had led the other children like Benjamin and Bill away as soon as class ended, was not there. If he hadn’t been, I wouldn’t have been able to hold onto the child.
Rubel, who had only managed a morning greeting with his eyes and was engrossed in the Imperial Swordsmanship, sweating profusely. When I grabbed his wrist to prevent him from running away, the child blinked slowly and looked back at me.
“…Young Master Ernhardt?”
“Us.”
I never knew speaking could be so difficult. I looked directly into Rubel’s eyes.
“Didn’t we agree to hang out?”
“…Huh?”
Rubel blinked twice. His eyes, wide with surprise, dilated.
Only then did I notice the even darker corners within his black eyes. What was reflected in those eyes was undoubtedly joy. My stomach churned.
While Rubel didn’t answer, I held his wrist and waited.
A blush slowly spread across his pale, cool face. The redness that bloomed on his face was something I knew well.
After some thought, I slowly reached out and brushed his hair back. When my hand brushed against the tip of his round ear, the child startled, and I paused.
But I didn’t regret it or apologize. I held my breath. The child closed his eyes tightly, then opened them again. His smiling face was now familiar.
“…Yes. We did.”
“Your afternoon class is canceled today… and the weekend is fine too. Until the end of this week.”
“Right, the exams are over…”
“Yes.”
I never had the habit of keeping a “mistress” by my side. I thought such things were wrong. I had no intention of accepting these feelings.
But it was too painful to see Rubel standing there blankly every morning, trying to hide his dejected expression. I couldn’t bear it.
I thought, wouldn’t it be alright to just be close friends?
Just until this child’s feelings naturally faded away, only until then.
Rubel and I went for a long walk on Friday afternoon, and on Saturday, we visited the botanical garden together once more. On Sunday, we studied together.
During that time, we never held hands again. Rubel smiled brightly enough that my heart was put at ease.