By Zephyria 
I had dinner with Michael, who had been darting around buying a bunch of luxury goods. He looked suspicious and tried to mention the familiar scent coming from me, but Gyeoul tactfully changed the subject each time.
Gyeoul didn’t seem to want to reveal it, so I didn’t open my mouth either.
The time the three of us spent together was like hell and heaven at the same time. Mostly, Gyeoul and Michael often talked about their company colleagues, and the name ‘Ian’ was often mentioned. Every time they talked about him, Gyeoul’s eyes shone with a very affectionate light.
Ian seemed to be a kind, witty, but slightly scary boss… That was the summary of Michael’s remarks. He seemed interested in Gyeoul.
I awkwardly inserted myself like a radish kimchi, eagerly picking up their stories. Just being able to see Gyeoul’s various expressions made this time shine. It was a story I couldn’t hear if not now.
Michael’s gaze turned to me.
“So, Winter and Quinn have been in touch since high school?”
“Not continuously. We met by chance on the Rooftop yesterday.”
Gyeoul said it as it was, but the condensed events within were neatly hidden. Michael let out a short exclamation and raised his wine glass.
“That’s so romantic! Meeting in a foreign country is like a fateful encounter. Let’s have a great toast to celebrate Winter and Quinn’s romantic reunion. Everyone, raise your glasses!”
Pleasantly drunk, he smiled brightly and shook his glass. It was an unspoken urging for us to reach out our hands quickly.
My eyes reached Gyeoul’s face, who was sitting next to me. Even with Michael’s congratulatory speech that might have stimulated something in his heart, he remained calm.
Gyeoul raised his glass first.
“You should include yourself in the celebration too.”
“That’s really great! Okay, then let’s celebrate the fateful meeting of the three of us. Cheers!”
“Cheers.”
A clear noise, like ringing a bell made of high-purity glass, rippled and echoed. The liquid in the glass swayed and mixed. Light poured down like finely shattered pieces. I had the illusion that the huge chandelier was shaking.
Something that shouldn’t be celebrated was being commemorated. Our meeting was just the prelude to a tragedy, and it was only my selfish happiness. I would masturbate with the sensation Gyeoul gifted me and soothe my love like filth.
I drank it all to the bottom.
“So, Quinn lives in Manhattan?”
“Yeah, I live near here.”
“The rent must be crazy.”
It was enough even after paying the rent. I didn’t know if it was because I signed a cheap contract or if my salary was generous, but just having a house to live in right now was a great comfort. Although I felt like I signed the contract a little hastily.
Michael whispered that he was envious. He chattered for a long time about how much he loved Manhattan and wanted to return. His eyes sparkled with vitality, and his cheeks were vividly red. He was a lovely type, completely different from me.
Not all men were dating material. Besides, Gyeoul was bi, so it wouldn’t be strange for him to date anyone, but my heart still felt cold.
Michael, who was like sunshine, suited Gyeoul better than a gloomy bastard like me. No, I could now accept that anyone would be much better than me.
I poured all the wine into my mouth, feeling bitterness. The residue left at the end of the sweetness clung to my tongue, and I frowned. As expected, alcohol wasn’t my taste.
Come to think of it, how many glasses have I had?
“Yi-tae, are you going to work tomorrow?”
“Uh… In the afternoon, I just need to go for a while. There’s an urgent matter that needs to be taken care of.”
“Quinn must be on vacation too.”
Gyeoul’s gaze touched my cheek. I nodded slowly. My vision swayed.
He spoke significantly less than when we were alone. It was because Michael was leading most of the conversation. My heart fluttered just because Gyeoul showed me a moment of attention.
I was happy to death.
It was a fleeting dream that would all end when I returned home, so I wanted to enjoy this moment. The alcohol-filled mind easily clouded my vision. I kept drinking because of the sweetness, and it seemed like I had exceeded the appropriate level, but I had an irresponsible thought that it didn’t matter.
I felt so good looking at Gyeoul. Good. So I wanted to die.
The expression I had been carefully grooming all day had loosened. My lips were grinning. It must be an ugly face that’s hard to look at. I suddenly became depressed.
“…He’s drunk.”
“He looks fine?”
Gyeoul’s cold hand touched my cheek. Or not. Drowsiness washed over me, and my vision flickered. This familiar scent was only Gyeoul’s. I leaned my hot face on his hand. It was instinct. My heart was pounding so badly that I felt like I needed to go to the hospital.
I felt like I just moved my lips, but I don’t know if I did it or not because it was an action beyond my will. I just wanted to smell Gyeoul’s scent more.
“This?”
I felt a lukewarm pain on both cheeks. My vision flashed for a moment, and I blinked slowly. Ah, it was Gyeoul. The one I love. But the one I shouldn’t.
I felt relieved if it was Gyeoul. It was a tiring and burdensome life, but I could somehow endure it if Gyeoul was there. Maybe. Ever since, my broken emotions creaked and rolled by his side. Yes, if only I had you…
My eyes closed. I heard a strange, beautiful voice mixed with embarrassment from a distant place.
“He was definitely fine until just now!”
“He’s the type to suddenly get drunk. He doesn’t even know his way home, this is a disaster. I thought his alcohol tolerance had improved. I would have stopped him no matter what if I knew this would happen!”
“Wouldn’t drinking cold water help him sober up a bit?”
“In this state, he wouldn’t sober up even if you hit him in the head with a hammer.”
“Winter, you’re tough. It’s unfamiliar.”
“You never know. Do you want to try it once?”
It was a calm solution. Me? Yeah, you. Why me… I frowned because I couldn’t understand what they were saying. But I still couldn’t understand. I kept hearing voices though.
My body tilted to the side. It was because someone’s hand moved my body. I buried my face in a place close to a pleasant warmth. I rubbed my lips against the soft texture. It was a warm and precious sensation. I felt like I could fall asleep like this.
I listened to the light bickering that followed and then fell asleep. My last memory was that the arms holding my shoulders felt familiar.
…I was thirsty.
My head was throbbing as if it would break. It was a familiar hangover. I had experienced it for a full year, but it was still unpleasant. I opened my eyes, feeling a tearing pain. The dim dawn was spread out in a familiar room.
How did I get home…
I sat up. My body felt chilly, perhaps because I had taken off all my top clothes.
“Gyeoul…”
I thought of him and put my hand under my lower body.
It felt somehow chilly, but much warmer than usual. Did I unconsciously turn the heater to the maximum again? Turning up the temperature to the point of being hot, thinking Gyeoul might come, had become a drunken habit.
Even though he wouldn’t come anymore. It was a foolish expectation.
“Did you call me?”
Then a voice that shouldn’t be heard came from the left. Was it a dream? I clutched the rustling lower garment preciously and turned my head to the side, which wasn’t working well.
I saw a familiar love holding a water cup in his hand, wearing the same clothes he wore yesterday.
Why was Gyeoul here? I hurriedly took out my hand and rubbed my face on the blanket. It must be a dream after all. Nevertheless, the cold sweat running down my spine felt real.
Was the pain I was feeling in the back of my head right now really a dream?
A plain voice continued.
“Seeing you looking for me as soon as you wake up, I guess you expected me to take you home? It’s been a while since I’ve seen a stupid guy who doesn’t know his alcohol tolerance and passes out drunk, so I was so embarrassed. You’re not even a fresh freshman who just turned twenty. At least they’re cute.”
“Uh…”
“How can you take advantage of your worst ex-lover like this?”
It contained stinging complaints, but he didn’t seem that angry. I glanced up and examined him. My still dazed mind failed to grasp the situation.
He wouldn’t have seen it under the blanket, right? Please.
Gyeoul stubbornly pushed the glass of water in his hand against my cheek. My face was distorted by the cold glass. Yes, this clear sensation couldn’t be a dream.
“Sorry.”
I spat it out habitually. I had been muttering apologies that I couldn’t make in person while crying every drunken night, so it had become ingrained in my mouth.
“Does the back of your head hurt by any chance? Michael hit you.”
“It’s okay. It’s really okay.”
Hearing his words, I vaguely remembered the determination to hit me with a hammer. I naturally rubbed the area that had been heavily aching since earlier and answered quickly. Even if he had hit me, it was my fault for making him hit me.
“It’s okay?”
Gyeoul repeated my last words.
My heart, which had completely woken up from the alcohol, was pounding. Finally, the messed-up situation began to come into view. Michael was nowhere to be seen. So Gyeoul carried me, heavy as I am, alone?
“I’m sorry. You should have just abandoned me on the street.”
Crazy bastard. Go die. I grabbed my left wrist. I wanted to harm myself right away.
“Ah… Abandon you?”
His voice was terribly eerie. I became a sinner and knelt demurely. Where’s the hammer in the house… I wanted to hand it to him right away.