By Zephyria His blank face didn’t sit well with Kwon Yi-tae.
It didn’t help that Kwon Yi-tae had spent the entire day cleaning up the mess he’d made, and now Yi-tae was wasting his precious evening with this pointless conversation. If it weren’t for the help of a colleague who’d become friends around the time Young-geol joined the company, Yi-tae would have taken all the blame and been chewed out by the Head of department. Yi-tae would have had ten times more fun drinking with that friend right now.
〈…….〉
〈Hyung, aren’t you curious about me?〉
〈No.〉
〈……Really?〉
〈Not at all.〉
〈That’s mean. I’m…… really curious about Hyung…….〉
〈You seem drunk. Let’s get up.〉
〈Huh? Hyung, you’ve only had one sip!〉
Young-geol’s eyes sparkled. There wasn’t a trace of the earlier dazed look. It was as if it had all been an act. Kwon Yi-tae sighed and took out his phone, asking him coldly.
〈Give me your friend’s number. I’ll have them come pick you up. And you can handle the confession yourself. I’ve set the stage for you.〉
At that moment, Young-geol grabbed Kwon Yi-tae’s hand and snatched the phone, placing it on the table. Kwon Yi-tae frowned, not particularly pleased.
〈……Is that all? I don’t like it.〉
〈Then what more do you need? You said you wanted advice about your unrequited love. You said you couldn’t confide in others, so you wanted to talk to your superior, and I’m taking the time to listen. What more do you want me to do here, Assistant Manager Woo?〉
His lukewarm attitude finally triggered Kwon Yi-tae’s anger. Woo Young-geol was stubbornly displaying his one-sided feelings, even though Kwon Yi-tae was trying to ignore them. Very clearly.
〈……I like you, Hyung. I know you’re into this too.〉
He was expressing it directly to Kwon Yi-tae.
Woo Young-geol cried as if tears were a weapon. He gripped the hem of Kwon Yi-tae’s shirt tightly, as if Kwon Yi-tae was about to disappear.
But Kwon Yi-tae only felt disgusted. Young-geol must know that Kwon Yi-tae had a live-in boyfriend, so what answer did he want to hear by confessing? That Kwon Yi-tae would break up with Gyeoul? That Kwon Yi-tae actually had feelings for him too?
〈I didn’t tell you to confess to me.〉
Just because Kwon Yi-tae and Gyeoul were temporarily estranged didn’t mean that the object of Kwon Yi-tae’s affection had changed. It was just a temporary…… slump. A hurdle that would pass quickly, one that Kwon Yi-tae could overcome. So there was no room to give to someone he wasn’t attracted to at all.
Silence flowed between them. Young-geol’s eyes wavered. He twitched his lips as if he was about to say something. But, contrary to expectations, he quickly brought his lips to Kwon Yi-tae’s cheek. Kwon Yi-tae recoiled in disgust and pushed him away.
At that moment. Thud, the sound of a bag falling cut through the murmuring noise.
〈……Gye, Gyeoul?〉
It was a familiar situation, like a déjà vu. Like the day Gyeoul’s birth mother found out about their relationship. No, it was worse than that. Kwon Yi-tae and Young-geol weren’t even together.
The thought of being caught up in a fucked-up situation hit Kwon Yi-tae hard. He could only think of denying it. He constantly felt as if ants were crawling on his cheeks. No, it was as if centipedes were covering his entire body.
Kwon Yi-tae slowly turned his eyes to look at the woman in shabby clothes screaming shrilly. She was looking directly at Woo Young-geol. Young-geol was also startled to see her. The woman dropped her bag and ran out screaming. Kwon Yi-tae would have felt less uncomfortable if she had slapped his cheek instead.
〈That’s, that……. I’m sorry, Manager Kwon. I, I think I need to go.〉
Young-geol hesitated as if he was trying to explain something, but then he followed her like a madman. Kwon Yi-tae was so…… tired. He had experienced so much in an instant. An overwhelming amount of things had poured down on him. Like a pile of garbage.
〈Haa……. Fuck.〉
Kwon Yi-tae leaned back in his chair and rubbed his face. A familiar past surged back. Events that triggered trauma floated to the surface.
Going straight home now wasn’t a good choice. Kwon Yi-tae didn’t want to see Gyeoul. No, he didn’t have the confidence to see him. He was scared.
These feelings were something Kwon Yi-tae had to endure alone. He couldn’t confide anything in Gyeoul, but if he faced Gyeoul, he would have to somehow explain his current unstable state. Gyeoul was quick to notice Kwon Yi-tae’s mood.
It was all because of that bastard.
……How did it go?
She seemed very shocked. Did she not know her son was gay? Hopefully, it won’t end up in the worst situation like it did with Gyeoul. Crazy bastard. Why is he doing this to me? Will he come to work tomorrow?
Kwon Yi-tae’s head was a mess. He felt like he would feel better if he had a drink. It was a kind of escape, but he really needed it now. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Air filled his lungs so deeply that they felt like they would burst. He exhaled thinly. As if he would completely shrivel up.
〈Oh? Kwon Yi-tae.〉
Kwon Yi-tae heard a familiar voice. Was this bar a meeting place? He opened his eyes and looked at the person, quite pleased to hear the voice. A colleague who he had been getting along with lately was smiling brightly at him.
∗ ∗ ∗
One day, an unexpected text message arrived.
[We regret to inform you of the passing of the mother of Assistant Manager Woo Young-geol of the Human Resources Team. …… May she rest in peace.]
It was tragic and so devastating that Kwon Yi-tae didn’t know what to do.
Kwon Yi-tae went to Woo Young-geol’s mother’s funeral on behalf of the team. He had to go. Young-geol was quite disliked at the company because of the rumor that he was a parachute hire.
Kwon Yi-tae had completely ignored and distanced himself from him since the confession incident. Kwon Yi-tae knew that Young-geol was watching him and feeling depressed, but that didn’t give Kwon Yi-tae any reason to change his attitude.
Kwon Yi-tae had decided to completely bury what happened that day. He didn’t want to dig up what he had covered up and get involved in Young-geol’s life. Being with him was too tiring…… and made him feel like he was falling into a swamp.
That’s why this sudden news was even more perplexing.
〈Ah……. Manager Kwon.〉
Young-geol hurriedly ran out from the empty funeral hall. It was so quiet that the sound of his footsteps felt like thunder. Kwon Yi-tae’s heart beat anxiously. He stood there blankly like a stranger with no connection to him.
……Kwon Yi-tae should have brought other team members with him. Even if they hated Young-geol, it was too much to leave him alone in this desolate place. It felt like he would be swallowed up by this immense silence.
Woo Young-geol’s face was stained with tears and a mess. Kwon Yi-tae looked at him and couldn’t say anything.
Kwon Yi-tae barely took a step, gripped Young-geol’s shoulder tightly, and walked past him. It was the best consolation he could offer. He picked up a few flowers and slowly placed them on the empty coffin.
Unlike the day they first met, there was a photo of a woman smiling brightly. Kwon Yi-tae bowed in front of it like a sinner. A sense of indebtedness constantly pricked at him. His whole body stung.
He bowed his head again in silence. He didn’t have the confidence to lift his face. Only Young-geol’s sobbing echoed alone in the vast space. He wasn’t a rookie who was attending a funeral for the first time, but he didn’t know what to do.
〈……How did…….〉
After hesitating, the only thing Kwon Yi-tae could say was this. He couldn’t even take responsibility for hearing the reason. His throat was choked up, so he stopped talking and cleared his throat. It felt like sand was filling his parched throat. He squeezed his eyes shut and opened them again at the oncoming pain.
He wasn’t really curious, he was just asking out of courtesy. He had nothing to say, so this was the only possible option. In fact, he didn’t want to sympathize with his sadness. He had already decided to completely let go of him, and he had been forced to come here by a sudden tragedy. It was just his duty as a human being.
Young-geol stared at Kwon Yi-tae with wide eyes. As if he didn’t expect him to ask that. Or like a very…… wronged person. Tears streamed down Young-geol’s cheeks.
Now Kwon Yi-tae realized one useless truth. The one who was suspected of being a parachute hire had simply earned his position with all his ability. Luckily, or like ordinary people.
Who should compensate for the hatred he received from his colleagues because of that?
〈It was…… suicide. My mom’s, the cause of her death.〉
〈…….〉
An ominous premonition always followed behind Young-geol’s shadow. When he confessed to Kwon Yi-tae, when he cried seeing Kwon Yi-tae reject him, when his mother ran away, and…… even now. His words felt like resentment. An unbearable wave was crashing over Kwon Yi-tae’s head.