By Zephyria The phone vibrated incessantly. It was buzzing loudly, as if it would keep ringing until I answered. This contract was unfair to me from beginning to end. The premise was wrong from the start. It was invalid.
‘Shit… Please just stop! Shut up!’
I picked up the phone irritably. A curse I rarely used lingered on my lips. I knew I shouldn’t be like this, but I wanted to get angry. Gyeoul was still in that room. How could I prove that I had nothing going on with Woo Young-geol? Rather… really… really. My tendons stood out sharply and pulled painfully. The arm holding the phone trembled uncontrollably, with muscles and veins bulging.
You were right.
When I was with Young-geol… I felt a sense of superiority because he seemed to rely on me completely. It felt like I had a younger brother to guide, and sometimes it was even enjoyable. Young-geol’s unfortunate circumstances seemed to mirror our past, so I wanted to take care of him even more. Only…
“Why did you call? I told you not to at night.”
Why aren’t you answering your phone… We were supposed to plan more for our trip to Gangneung tomorrow. I was going to plan it, but you went alone. And you ate squid sundae. I even booked the accommodation. Are you really going to do this? You were supposed to contact me first. Give me back my excitement.
My boring daily life had just become a little more interesting, back then. While I indulged in pitying him.
I should have told Gyeoul that I went on the trip because Young-geol was terrified as his depression reached its peak, and that if I had known it coincided with our 7th anniversary, I would never have made the promise. Even if it sounded like an excuse.
Young-geol’s voice felt particularly loud in the quiet house. I quickly pressed the volume button to lower the sound. So small that it barely reached my own ears.
I hoped that this voice, filled with misunderstandings, wouldn’t reach Gyeoul.
Without realizing it, my head turned towards the door. The firmly closed door seemed unlikely to open. I let out a breath that had risen to my chin. It was similar to relief. I didn’t want to be caught.
“…Let’s cancel the trip tomorrow.”
What are you talking about? Hyung… You know how much I was looking forward to it. I was sick and lonely today too. Assistant Manager Woo left work early… I’m sick. You’re the only one I have, Head of section. You promised to take responsibility for me. What about the best room you booked? We were finally going to…!
“…Did you take your medicine? You said the new medicine was working well.”
I think I’ll be fine if we go tomorrow. I won’t even need to take that stuff. So please just say you will. Or else I…
“Is there no one around you?”
No. Except for you, Hyung.
Young-geol’s voice turned cold. The affectionate tone from just a moment ago disappeared without a trace. He scratched his neck wildly with his fingernails, as if something was stuck in his throat. I wanted to get rid of this frustration.
I leaned back completely in my chair and tilted my head back. Bright light poured down, making me feel cold. For some reason, I thought I could hear Gyeoul’s singing from far away. It must be a delusion. I wanted to hear it… closer.
I wanted to desperately beg on my knees not to break up.
“Okay. I’m hanging up.”
You’re hanging up like this? Are you crazy, Head of section? How can you cancel the night before when I’ve already made all the reservations? We even planned the itinerary together. It’s fun when you’re with me, isn’t it? You said you liked me more than that person.
Gyeoul had said something similar…
My eyes only moved slightly to look at the closed door again. It felt unreal. So, right now. You won’t be in this house? I closed my dry, parched eyes. I needed to put in eye drops. A noise-like voice pierced my eardrums. I covered my eyes completely with my remaining hand.
Gyeoul just asked, do you love him?
“It’s so obvious…”
I didn’t even feel the need to answer. No, I just froze for a moment because I didn’t expect to receive such a question. It’s not that I don’t love you… I muttered to myself, and Young-geol, hearing it, said excitedly.
See? It’s fun, so why are you like this? Huh? I’ll take it as we’re going together. I’ll go to your house tomorrow.
“…”
…And how about breaking up with that person now? I’m better, right? You just admitted it, didn’t you?
Something was seriously wrong. I didn’t have the confidence to untangle the tightly knotted mess, not knowing where it had started. I didn’t have the courage. Again and again, Gyeoul’s indifferent eyes came to mind. Eyes that no longer looked at me with vitality.
Fear rose up and covered my face.
Young-geol continued to talk excitedly, lost in his own world. I couldn’t understand what he was saying at all, and I even got a severe headache, so I threw the phone on the table. If he keeps talking to himself, he’ll get tired and hang up eventually. If I hang up first, he might get depressed and cause a fuss again.
Creak, I heard the sound of the door opening. Did I accidentally press the screen when I threw it? Young-geol’s voice echoed loudly through the speaker.
So when are you breaking up? You’re going to sleep with me now too, aren’t you? I knew it. I realized you said you’d go on the trip for that reason. I know everything. How you look at me, Hyung. Do you think I wouldn’t know? That you’re so turned on…
You fucking…
I hurriedly got up and reached out my hand. End. End call! I pressed the button urgently. The voice that broke the silence stopped abruptly. There was no way Gyeoul hadn’t heard it. I should have hung up. No, I shouldn’t have answered. Whether Woo Young-geol died right now or not. I was afraid to turn around.
“Wow…”
I heard a voice filled with emotion. I squeezed my eyes shut. Thud, I heard the sound of a heavy object falling to the floor. My head turned white. I couldn’t think of anything. I should kneel down right now and beg, saying it’s all a misunderstanding… But my body was frozen and wouldn’t listen to me. I could only turn my head creakily.
Gyeoul was looking at me, covering his mouth. His eyes were shining with vitality. At his feet lay a duffel bag full of clothes.
My vision shook violently. I fell off the chair as if rolling down and knelt down urgently. The bomb thrown by Young-geol had hit the desired target properly.
“No. No. No, Gyeoul. No. It’s really not. It’s not…”
“Kwon Yi-tae, you…”
It wasn’t blame or contempt.
Gyeoul’s voice was filled with joy. The voice, muffled by his palm and unable to resonate properly, pierced me directly. He acted as if this incident was detached from himself.
Like someone listening to someone else’s business…
That felt so painful. Even though the situation had spiraled out of control like this because of me. It was like a declaration that I had no influence on you.
“Believe me. I’ve never slept with him, never kissed him, and never loved him. I don’t want to break up with you, and it’s all my fault. This is all a misunderstanding too! I won’t contact him if you tell me not to. So…”
“This dopamine is no joke. It’s thrilling. It was more messed up than the hottest makjang dramas these days, just now.”
Gyeoul spoke as if watching a story beyond the screen. As if admiring the protagonist in a drama.
Our eyes met head-on. Gyeoul looked down at me, and I looked up at him endlessly. It was as if time had stopped. The phone vibrated again. Gyeoul’s gaze slowly turned to the phone that had fallen on the floor. Assistant Manager Woo, only those three clear letters were on the screen.
“It’s really not true! It’s all lies, and he made it all up. So…”
“Kwon Yi-tae, thanks to you, I got to see something interesting before leaving. I’ll pay the subscription fee to your bank account later. I hope things work out with that person… You two look good together. And take care of your face too. That’s the only thing I can look at in you. You have a puppy-like face.”
Gyeoul said it in the most softened way possible, but in the end, it meant I was a son of a bitch. A son of a bitch who only has a good-looking face.
Passing by me kneeling on the floor, Gyeoul headed for the front door. His steps were light, and he didn’t show any regrets. Hmm hmm. I could hear the song he had been humming since earlier.
“Then, goodbye. Have a good trip to Gangneung. Well, even if something goes wrong on the trip, the worst that can happen is death. Let’s never see each other again.”
The door opened and then closed.
Gyeoul left.
Completely.
∗ ∗ ∗
“Wow…”
I was stunned.
My brain turned white as if it had awakened. Is it possible to be so thrilled that you can’t even speak? It felt empty. I kept repeating only the short phrase, wow… and marveling.
The bag in my hand was quite heavy, but it didn’t feel heavy at all. My whole body was tingling from my fingertips. The elevator was stopping on several floors from below and was coming up at a very slow speed.
“Wow… What did I just hear?”
I raised my empty hand high and slapped my cheek hard. I felt the throbbing of my heart more strongly than the tingling pain. It was beating so fast that I thought I might die soon. I had slapped my hand hard without holding back, but it didn’t hurt at all.
The scene in my head kept replaying. It was more stimulating and spicier than the trendy dramas these days. It was so spicy that it was numbing. I was like a supporting actor in a spicy love story of the century.
…No joke?