By Zephyria “You were snoring.”
“Did the house collapsing surprise you?”
I stretched my stiff body and yawned. My hair, now slightly longer, brushed against the fabric of my clothes, becoming tangled. Kwon Yi-tae remained still, seemingly unbothered. I rubbed my head against his leg, enjoying the rustling sound. Yi-tae’s large hand touched my forehead. Crackle. I felt a stinging sensation on my skin, as if static electricity had built up in the dry air.
Peaceful.
I felt like I could fall asleep again just like that. A languid drowsiness still clung to my eyes. Even in the dark night, Yi-tae’s sparkling eyes caught my attention. Judging by the complete darkness, it seemed a lot of time had passed.
“You were sleeping so soundly that I couldn’t wake you.”
“How long has it been? The food must be cold. You should have eaten first.”
“…I didn’t want to. I ordered it so we could eat together.”
Yi-tae spoke in an uncharacteristic, whiny voice. He lowered his head towards me, and his hair cascaded down, like a night sky filled with countless shooting stars. I recoiled, avoiding his face, which I couldn’t bring myself to get close to. Whatever he was trying to do, I didn’t want it. Perhaps it was because Yi-tae had appeared in my dream. A sense of alienation made my heart ache coldly. I felt like I was facing a cold reality.
I leaned back on the sofa and surveyed the house with my eyes, now accustomed to the darkness. The delivery food, still in its bag, sat on the table. I had skipped lunch and hadn’t eaten dinner yet, so my stomach was starting to hurt. It felt like my stomach had shrunk from being too hungry.
“Ah… yes, go ahead. What was that? If I don’t get something to eat now, I’m just going to die?”
I bent down and pretended to talk to the person in my stomach. Yi-tae finally lifted his head, which had been deeply bowed. He seemed subtly drained. It was all because he waited without eating or waking me up. Foolishly.
“……”
“Aha. Yes, sir. Wouldn’t it be nice if someone turned on the lights in this gloomy house and warmed up the food?”
“Wait. I’ll warm it up quickly.”
“Okay.”
I stopped the meaningless act and answered obediently, leaning back completely. As soon as I finished speaking, Yi-tae got up and turned on the lights. My eyes, accustomed to the darkness, were dazzled by the sudden brightness. “Ouch.” I reflexively groaned, and Yi-tae shielded my eyes with his hand. After blinking a few times, my eyes adjusted to the bright world and felt comfortable.
He can be so sweet sometimes. Why did he do that?
It wasn’t that I wanted to understand him, but I suddenly became curious. Why did you cheat on your Darling and love someone else? If you were truly kind, couldn’t you have at least had the decency to break up with me first?
No. There was an even more fundamental question. Was your kindness innate or a sign of affection? Maybe what you’re doing for me now is just a habit. The kindness that has become ingrained in your body must now be directed towards others as well. Something tasted bitter in my mouth. The rough papillae on my tongue caught on the roof of my mouth.
“Thank you.”
I expressed my gratitude for the kindness that would no longer be taken for granted.
“For what?”
Yi-tae, who was heading to the kitchen, replied as if puzzled. See? This is why you can’t trust kind guys. They don’t even know what they’ve done. I clicked my tongue. He doesn’t even realize he’s doing something that shouldn’t be taken for granted. That’s probably why I loved you.
Once I admitted it, there was nothing to be burdened by. Yes, you were someone worth loving, so I gave you my heart. I didn’t want my love to be ruined. It must have been genuine at the time, for you too.
What about now? I stared blankly at his back. I watched Yi-tae, who was busy transferring the food from the containers. Still handsome, still kind… but Kwon Yi-tae, who doesn’t love me.
Unrequited love was the worst.
I turned my head away. There was no reason left to love you. I didn’t have the luxury to expect an unrequited heart. It was the most unhappy ending of all the relationships I’ve had, but I was the happiest during the relationship. That’s enough.
I straightened up, about to lie down again, and picked up my phone. I had received over 10 messages each from Hyeon-seong and Yeon-woo. Why were they so excited and making such a fuss? I tapped on the chat room to check the contents.
Jju-kku
[?]
[Real?]
[Did you really sign the contract without saying a word?]
[Crazy bastard]
[I knew you were crazy from the start]
They’re old enough to know better, but they’re still being vulgar. What’s with “crazy bastard”?
[Housewarming]
[Housewarming party]
[Let’s go Let’s go Let’s go Let’s go Let’s go Let’s go Let’s go Let’s go]
[But]
[What are we going to say to him? How are we going to phrase it? Dopamine is insane]
[When did you get out of there? Finally, you’re single too, you bastard. I didn’t like you from the moment you started dating. You wouldn’t even drink with me. Do you know how lonely I was???]
[Don’t become a couple]
[Hang out with me]
I sighed at their lack of will to correct their typos. I’m working hard to be friends with a guy like this, Choi Gyeoul. I moved my fingers and sent a concise reply, expressing my gratitude for their concern.
[Okay]
Phew. That was tough.
Thinking about Jju-kku, who would be furious after receiving the reply, I tapped on the next chat room. A smile appeared on my face as I suddenly thought of Hyeon-seong’s face. The individual and group chats that had arrived from various places were flashing red, but I easily ignored them. They weren’t really important contacts anyway. Just like my relationships with them.
Yeon-woo
[Gyeoul, I heard some strange news from Jju-kku. Is it true?]
[Are you making a solo comeback??? [Let’s drink. Noona will comfort you]
[If you need a blind date, tell me. I can introduce you to both girls and guys. But I’m on the list of girls lol]
[Hey, but I was thinking…….]
[Why did you only tell Jju-kku and not contact me? I’m a little sad ㅠ.ㅠ]
[Invite me to the housewarming first]
[Don’t invite that bastard with you!!!]
Yeon-woo seemed genuinely upset, contacting me again several minutes after finishing her message. Her messages, which had piled up while I was sleeping, were filled with concern. Of course, there was also a hint of delight at the breakup.
Before replying, I glanced down at Yi-tae, who was standing in front of the gas stove. He was transferring the side dishes onto the table, pretending not to look at me. I saw you looking at me earlier.
Yeah. I have to break up.
I should just hand that solid, domestic, but cheating bastard over to someone else. So that I can never look back.
[Jju-kku said he wants you to hang out with him]
[Soothe him a little and I’ll get introduced to someone later. If you’re there, I’ll just go out for a drink lol]
[Come to the housewarming together. You two are close, but you pretend to hate each other]
I replied with a different tone than I had used with Hyeon-seong. Yeon-woo and Hyeon-seong were high school friends. They were awkward with Yi-tae. The two of them had actually dated in high school, but later drew a line, saying they should just be friends. It was right for them to resolve things between themselves, so I didn’t ask separately. Is it possible to remain friends if you break up cleanly? Yi-tae and I…
I don’t think so?
There were too many memories. Even if I tried to block them, they burst out through the broken dam. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t cover the sky. Our memories became a sea, surging. There are things you shouldn’t get close to because you know them too well. Breaking up doesn’t mean the space you occupied disappears. Nor does it mean that the space will remain empty forever.
So, it meant that the moment when new grass grows, other flowers bloom, and butterflies fly in will come again someday. As long as the owner of that space doesn’t trample on it. Anytime.
It would be nice to become a wonderful tree with knots.
“Eat.”
“…Okay.”
I was imagining myself growing into an even more wonderful version of myself. I snapped out of my reverie. I folded the sails of the swaying ship and let myself drift with the current. In the face of such a huge storm, you shouldn’t resist with all your might, but rather entrust yourself to it. Even if you’re swept away by the ebb tide, there will be a time when the flood tide comes. You hold your breath and wait for the waves.
I got up and headed to the table. The sound of my footsteps broke the silence. Yi-tae seemed lost in thought, standing still as if waiting for me to come. A scene from a comedy show suddenly came to mind. And I hated myself for remembering it. When did that gag even become popular?
However, unable to bear the quiet and somewhat solemn atmosphere, I finally opened my mouth.
“Let’s eat.”
I pulled out a chair and lowered my head sharply. Most people would be disgusted or give me a look of contempt if they heard such a joke. I sat stiffly in my seat and barely managed to look at Yi-tae. He met my gaze and burst into laughter with a generous look in his eyes. Yi-tae was someone who didn’t belong to the ordinary category.
“Okay.”
He won’t even accept it, but he’s smiling so beautifully.
I picked up a spoon and looked up at Yi-tae again. He sat down across from me and took out his phone from his pocket, placing it on the table. I averted my gaze from Yi-tae and turned my eyes to the food in front of me. White steam was spreading everywhere. It smelled familiar.
“You ordered from here.”
“It’s your favorite place.”
“Well… it used to be.”
I haven’t ordered from here since the owner changed last month.
I swallowed the rice I had shoved into my mouth along with the unspoken words. Yi-tae looked at me with a puzzled expression at my lukewarm reaction, but I didn’t bother explaining the meaning of the past tense. Such things had no value for us anymore. The sound of the rice bowl clattering echoed loudly like noise.
I put down my spoon and moved Yi-tae’s favorite octopus jeotgal in front of him. It was a natural movement without any intention. A happening that occurred because we knew each other’s preferences so well.
I had always given it to him, so I took it for granted. Yi-tae had never been legally family to me, but he was still someone I considered family. We shared a heart that was more than blood.
“Do you not like it now?”
That is, Yi-tae was also able to grasp my subtle intonation.
“The owner changed here last month……”
I opened my mouth to tell Yi-tae without hiding anything, but at that moment, Yi-tae’s phone vibrated and flashed brightly. My gaze was involuntarily drawn to it. I had no intention of looking at his private life. It was a reflexive action. Why didn’t he lock the preview? I didn’t really want to know.
Assistant Manager Woo
[Head of section, so is our 1-night, 2-day trip schedule for tomorrow……]