By Zephyria After Honeybee and her family left, only Matthew, Cha Eui-jae, and the Monster burning to death remained here. Eui-jae bit the inside of his cheek. It was right to move now. But his feet wouldn’t move. He didn’t know if it was because of Honeybee’s request or an unknown hunch.
Matthew stood with his back to him, burning the Monsters. With each movement of his hand, the flames moved freely like waves. It was elegant like the conductor of an orchestra, yet sharp like a knife.
The surging flames swallowed the Monsters’ screams. Even though the flames were surging as if they would swallow the world, it was rather quiet. Only the sound of something burning could be heard.
That’s why it’s uncomfortable.
Matthew said.
“You’re not leaving.”
“…Yes.”
“There must be a place where your help is needed. Like the family you just met.”
“……”
“If it weren’t for you, they would have wandered the streets and died. Or…”
A cold voice offered another speculation.
“Perhaps you put them in danger because you found them. These Monsters are struggling to get to you.”
As he said, the Monsters were crawling towards Eui-jae, even with their limbs burning and a deep valley separating them.
Did that family become endangered because they met me?
‘…Maybe.’
A hot gust of wind swirled. Sweat began to form on his forehead. Matthew slowly turned halfway around and stared at Eui-jae.
“Your breathing has changed. Is that the correct answer?”
Hiding something from someone who knows everything about you is not a good choice. Because you’ll be caught anyway. Eui-jae answered briefly.
“I won’t deny it.”
“Thank you. For answering honestly.”
One of the Monsters, engulfed in flames, rushed towards Eui-jae. However,
Click.
At the same time as the sound of a finger snapping, it burned down without even touching a single claw. Eui-jae stared at the flames scattering into the air.
“Actually, I don’t care about that. It’s a good opportunity for me too. I wanted to talk to you at least once. Even in this situation.”
“……”
“You can go somewhere else if you’re uncomfortable.”
“I’m still okay.”
Besides, wasn’t he asked by Honeybee? To watch over him. Matthew chuckled softly.
“You have a strong sense of responsibility. That will become Poison. Or maybe it already has.”
His way of speaking caused a strange discomfort. He coldly pointed out the facts that he had been ignoring. He presented points that he had not thought of. He threw things to think about. So that he could look back on himself.
“Excessive responsibility often devours people.”
“That’s right.”
Eui-jae readily agreed. Beyond the surging flames, Matthew clenched his fist. The crawling Monsters exploded with small explosions.
“I have a question. May I ask?”
“Yes.”
“If someone precious to you died because of you.”
“……”
“Could you forgive yourself?”
As soon as he heard the question, a black coffin came to mind. Cha Eui-jae lying on the coffin, Lee Sa-young sleeping inside. Cha Eui-jae shed dry tears. He regretted it.
If I had been a little stronger, I wouldn’t have let him go so futilely.
Behind Lee Sa-young’s coffin, pure white ashes scattered. Aunt was walking through the ashes. Eui-jae hurriedly followed her from behind. The ashes swirled like a blizzard, and his vision blurred. Before he knew it, Eui-jae was standing in a white wasteland. The floor was soaked with white blood, and his companions were tearing apart Monsters and eating their flesh.
If only I had stopped Aunt. If only I had gone in before Aunt went in.
If only I had come in alone. If only I could have stopped my companions. If only I had been a little stronger…
Countless regrets piled up. Eui-jae looked back at the regrets he was standing on.
Did Cha Eui-jae forgive himself?
“No.”
Numerous failures and regrets made Cha Eui-jae. He was living on failures and regrets. Pretending to be okay.
“I can’t.”
Matthew had already turned his body completely and was looking at Eui-jae. The burn marks on his arm were bright red. As if alive, or… as if they had just appeared.
“Even so…”
Even so, the reason Eui-jae could live. The reason he could pretend to be okay.
The world inside the Rift where white ashes were scattered disappeared. Eui-jae was already sitting in the Hanover Soup Restaurant. A steaming bowl of white bone broth was placed on the green table. Grandmother was peeling garlic while watching an old CRT TV. At the next table, Ha-eun was frowning and scribbling in her textbook.
The sliding door of the Hanover Soup Restaurant opened. Familiar people came in one by one, and the empty tables began to fill up. Bae Won-woo and Kang Ji-soo, Yang Hye-jin and the new Hunter, the Hunter who always hid soju, Polar Bear, Honeybee and Team Leader Han, Jung-bin and Min-gi Seo, and many other people who frequented the Hanover Soup Restaurant…
Before he knew it, someone was sitting in the chair across from Eui-jae. The purple eyes, which had been leisurely looking around with his chin resting on his hand, turned to Eui-jae. His plump lips curled up, and his lifeless purple eyes curved gently.
Eui-jae blinked. The scenery of the Hanover Soup Restaurant disappeared in an instant. Before his eyes were only red flames burning everything around him, and Matthew waiting for an answer.
“Even so… I can live.”
“Even if you can’t forgive yourself?”
“Yes.”
There are many good people in the world. Eui-jae was lucky enough to meet many good people. When he was with them, Eui-jae could also become a good person. By showing kindness, filling loss with new encounters, and building success on failure.
Matthew pushed up his glasses with his middle and index fingers.
“I see. Thank you for answering.”
“Do you think differently, Matthew?”
“……”
Matthew pushed up his glasses again.
“The Bible teaches us to forgive sins. I too grew up receiving such teachings and giving forgiveness.”
“……”
“But…”
In an instant, the flames flared up greatly. The bright red flames greedily swirled around Matthew.
“No matter how much I forgive… no matter how much I try to forgive.”
“……”
“I can’t figure out how to forgive myself.”
Sharp flames soared up. The momentum was clearly different from the flames that had been surging until just now. This was not a flame to subdue and dispose of the enemy. It was a flame that burned everything without purpose.
Dangerous. Eui-jae grabbed the spear stuck in the ground.
Matthew appeared and disappeared repeatedly between the surging flames. The surroundings looked distorted due to the heat. If this continues, something big will happen. Eui-jae desperately blurted out whatever came to mind.
“That burn on your arm, it’s not a side effect of the drug, is it? Prometheus’s drug.”
“That’s right. The Doctor cleanly treated the side effects of the drug.”
“Then…”
Beyond the flames, Matthew rubbed the burn scar.
“This is a scar I left on purpose. Because I always have to remember.”
“Remember what…”
“The fact that humans burn easily.”
Matthew smiled beyond the flames. His smile was strangely distorted due to the heat haze.
“I killed my sister.”
“……”
“At the time of Awakening, I was at my sister’s house. It was my sister’s birthday. My sister, her husband, and her child were there.”
“……”
“You probably know this too. That abilities are especially unstable immediately after Awakening. Especially if it’s a dangerous ability that always needs to be controlled like this.”
Eui-jae bit his lip. In the second world, Lee Sa-young locked himself in the hospital bathroom immediately after Awakening. Because his ability was too dangerous. Matthew must have been the same immediately after Awakening.
Unfortunately, there was no one by his side to help him control his ability.
Eui-jae could easily imagine the scene at the time. Flames that were constantly rising no matter how much he tried to control them, Matthew locked in the bathroom, and his sister and family knocking on the door outside, asking what was wrong.
And his flames would have been too strong to be extinguished by a thin stream of water.
“……”
“To be able to live without forgiving yourself, huh…”
Matthew murmured. The flames surrounding him were getting bigger and bigger. Now even his figure was not visible properly. The Monsters burst into flames as soon as they touched his flames. Cold sweat dripped down. The flames muttered.
“I wish I had met you a little earlier.”
Whoosh!
The flames soared to the sky.
“Matthew!”
At the same time, Eui-jae swung his spear and split the wall of fire. Then, the hand holding the spear fell down.
There was no one beyond the wall.
Nothing.