By Zephyria The tears that had been flowing in single drops soon began to fall in a shower. Eui-jae froze, still holding Lee Sa-young’s hand.
‘Is he crying?’
Lee Sa-young?
‘Why?’
What reason could he have to cry the moment he saw me? Countless thoughts floated up like bubbles.
‘Because I wasn’t next to him when he woke up?’
Surely Lee Sa-young wouldn’t cry over something like that. Eui-jae dismissed the first possibility. He would get annoyed or angry, but he never seemed like he would cry. Or maybe….
‘Did he have a dream where I died?’
…….
Eui-jae raised his gaze, which had been lingering on his fingertips, and looked at Lee Sa-young. And gasped, inhaling sharply.
The pale face looking back at him was astonishingly devoid of emotion. Even the expression of shock, as if he had seen a ghost, had long since vanished. As if that was the last remaining emotion.
He was simply staring. At Cha Eui-jae. Even the violet eyes that had always held so many emotions, despite his attempts to hide them, now simply reflected one person like a mirror.
Only Cha Eui-jae.
“……”
Eui-jae tried to say something but closed his mouth.
The Lee Sa-young before him was somehow ‘wrong.’ If it weren’t for the tears that kept flowing and the warmth he felt in his hand, he wouldn’t have been able to believe he was alive, as if he were….
Like a being separated from this world.
The moment that thought crossed his mind, his vision spun. A throbbing headache set in. Eui-jae frowned and clutched his head. The hand he was holding slipped out like a snake.
Blood-red lips, stained with blood, parted.
“Cha Eui-jae.”
His body tensed at the sound of his name. It was an instinctive reaction. A black hand, with a finger joint missing, wrapped around Eui-jae’s hand, gently pulling it back towards him. Then, he subtly scratched the palm of his hand with the long scar. A shiver ran down his spine.
“…I thought it was all meaningless.”
“……”
“The things I did….”
Ha, a short sigh escaped. Long, tear-stained eyelashes fluttered. Beyond the mirror-like eyes, a hint of tenderness flickered.
“It’s a relief.”
“……”
“You look okay….”
He lowered his head closer to the back of Cha Eui-jae’s hand. His lips moved, leaving a tiny gap between them and his skin.
“…Did you protect it?”
“…Protect what?”
“Of course… you wouldn’t have.”
Lee Sa-young let go of his hand and took a step back. On Eui-jae’s hand, where his touch had been, lay the watch he had left behind. Tick, tock, the second hand moved. Sa-young pointed to the watch with a chin gesture, his hands still in his coat pockets.
“Take good care of the watch…. It’s precious.”
Eui-jae clutched the watch and looked up. The wind blew, scattering his black hair and the hem of his coat. A strange sensation rose from his feet.
‘That’ Lee Sa-young was not the Lee Sa-young he knew. But he was also ‘the Lee Sa-young he knew.’
Suddenly, his vision blurred.
His sight was all red. The acrid smell of blood wouldn’t go away. He had no sensation in his body. His parched throat was painfully dry, but he didn’t stop muttering. He knew he couldn’t bear it if there was even the slightest noise.
But there was no one to make noise for him. The pain in his body had dulled, but there was no way to avoid the scenery that was tearing at his heart….
Flap,
Something black covered his head and upper body. The red scenery disappeared, and darkness descended. Eui-jae slowly stopped muttering. He felt the presence of something alive.
‘…….’
‘…….’
‘……………….’
A lukewarm warmth touched him through the coat. Someone whispered.
‘Go back… quietly… …….’
His hazy mind snapped awake. Swish…. The sound of waves crashing against the breakwater and returning to the sea jolted him awake. But it still felt like a heavy stone was pressing down on his head.
Eui-jae frowned and asked.
“Who… are you? Why….”
“Ah….”
He muttered.
“I can’t hold on much longer….”
Lee Sa-young blinked a couple of times and then closed his eyes. At that moment, his large body lost its balance and collapsed. Eui-jae hurriedly reached out his arms and caught him. The heavy weight crashed down on Cha Eui-jae, but he didn’t falter. Soon, a small groan escaped from his arms.
“Shit….”
It was a voice laced with annoyance. Familiar with the curse and the irritation, Eui-jae looked down at the black head in his arms. Lee Sa-young blinked as if trying to grasp the situation, then widened his eyes when he saw Eui-jae holding him. His eyes were red and swollen, and his long eyelashes were still glistening with tears.
“…Hyung? What’s going on?”
Sa-young, having confirmed it was Eui-jae, straightened his body and looked around. Then he frowned when he spotted the memorial behind them.
“…Incheon? Why are we here?”
“That’s what I want to know.”
“What do you mean….”
“You were here. I came to find you.”
Eui-jae sighed and patted his back soothingly. Sa-young, who had been looking at Eui-jae with a puzzled expression, soon ran a hand over his face. But it was only for a moment, as he froze when he saw the tears on his hand. His face crumpled.
“Ah, shit, what is this….”
Sa-young touched his eyes with his fingertips. The tears didn’t stop and continued to fall. Sa-young roughly rubbed his face.
“Why is this….”
The more he rubbed, the redder his eyes became. Eui-jae grabbed Sa-young’s hand and carefully wiped away the moisture with the sleeve of his jacket. But the tears didn’t stop easily. They kept flowing as fast as he wiped them away.
“No, why do you keep crying? …Are you sick? Are you not feeling well?”
Violet eyes beneath his sleeve glared at Cha Eui-jae. Eui-jae could read the relief hidden beneath the annoyance and displeasure.
Two warm eyes.
Not the empty eyes that had been reflecting Cha Eui-jae like a mirror just a moment ago.
“……”
Sa-young tilted his head slightly to make it easier for Eui-jae to wipe away the tears, then muttered.
“…I’m not the one crying.”
“What?”
“It’s not my will. I don’t know why this is happening…. Ah, shit….”
It was like a child’s grumble. If it weren’t for the curse word at the end.
Sa-young grabbed Eui-jae’s hand, which was wiping his eyes, and pressed it against his cheek. And after letting out a small sigh, he buried his wet cheeks and face in the firm hand. It was like a large beast acting spoiled. The tear-soaked eyelashes brushed against his palm, tickling him. Then, a small whisper was heard.
“Ah, it’s annoying….”
Surely, he wasn’t saying I was annoying? What an ungrateful bastard. Just as Eui-jae was about to retort, sensing his displeasure, Sa-young sharply raised his eyes.
“Not you, Hyung.”
“……”
What a ghostly bastard. Eui-jae, feeling awkward, carefully wiped his eyes with his thumb. Lee Sa-young, who had been biting his lip, said.
“…Hold me.”
“What?”
“Hurry.”
Sa-young urged. Eui-jae was flustered by the way he was acting so impatiently, when he was usually so languid and relaxed. Eui-jae looked at Lee Sa-young, who was anxiously rubbing his cheek and nose against his hand, and asked suspiciously.
“Are you really okay―”
“Ha….”
Sa-young let out an annoyed sigh. And then, he grabbed the hand that was covering his face and pulled it away. Eui-jae didn’t bother to shake it off. The world spun before his eyes. The gray wharf and the sea spun around, and soon his vision turned to the gray sky.
Thump, black fingertips lightly nudged his shoulder. Something cold and hard touched the back of his head. Eui-jae glanced back and upwards. He was now leaning almost completely back, with only his shoulders barely supported by the memorial.
Sa-young was lying on top of Eui-jae, supporting himself with his arms and legs. His hands were on the ground near Eui-jae’s shoulders. The black coat and hair covered Eui-jae. He lowered his head. The sweet scent that he hadn’t smelled in a long time tickled his nose. Eui-jae unconsciously held his breath.
Violet eyes, shining brightly, drew closer as if to devour him.
“I’m begging you….”
“……”
“When someone is talking…. Please, listen at once.”
Something lightly touched and then fell away from the mask. Soon after, a heavy weight pressed down on Eui-jae once again, and something soft and ticklish touched the back of his neck. It was Lee Sa-young’s hair. Sa-young buried his face in Eui-jae’s neck, then wrapped his arms tightly around his waist and lay down.
Eui-jae was honestly dumbfounded.
“…Huh?”
“Don’t sigh, say my name.”
Sa-young growled. Judging by the way his neck was wet, the tears still hadn’t stopped. Eui-jae glanced around. Fortunately, there didn’t seem to be any CCTVs…. Well, even if there were, Min-gi Seo would erase them. Thinking that.
Eui-jae ran his hand through the soft hair and whispered.
“…Lee Sa-young.”
The rough breathing subsided a little. Was he trying to calm his emotions? Lee Sa-young was good at saying everything else, but he always kept his mouth shut about things related to himself. That’s what made it so hard to figure him out.
What had happened, what dreams he had while sleeping, what he had seen, what he had been thinking. There were so many things he was curious about. He felt like he had to hear all of it and dig down to the bottom to get rid of the source of this anxiety. The fear of losing him again.
“Sa-young-ah.”
Nevertheless, the moment he faced the countless emotions in his eyes, just seeing the breath touching his palm and every living movement, Cha Eui-jae’s anxiety subsided.
Did Lee Sa-young know? That it wasn’t just his reactions that were precious.
How long had it been? The wind that had been blowing had stopped. Swish…. Along with the subsided sound of the waves, the breathing in his arms also stabilized. It was the familiar breathing he had heard throughout Lee Sa-young’s sleep. Eui-jae gently brushed aside the hair that was covering his face with the hand he had been stroking him with. The tears had stopped. Finally.
When he raised his head and looked around, he saw a black van parked at the end of the cape. Eui-jae tapped the shadow cast by his hand with his index finger. A finger-sized Shadow Human struggled to get up from there. Eui-jae twirled the ends of Sa-young’s hair with his fingers and whispered.
“Tell your Master.”
Lee Sa-young, who had been wandering the second world. Yoon Ga-eul was the only one who had seen him directly. Lee Sa-young, who seemed to have lost all emotion and was only reflecting Cha Eui-jae like a mirror, and Lee Sa-young, who couldn’t hide his many emotions and poured out his anxiety and nervousness as they were. The two were different.
He had to find out what was going on. The black mask tilted slightly.
“I guess I need to go see Student Ga-eul.”