By Zephyria “I want an equal relationship, J.”
Eui-jae frowned.
“An equal relationship?”
“Yeah.”
Sa-young nodded lightly. His thumb rubbed the skin under Eui-jae’s eyes as if telling him not to frown, then moved away. Eui-jae bit the inside of his cheek.
There are words that don’t resonate even if you know their meaning. An equal relationship. That’s how this phrase felt to Cha Eui-jae. It was only natural for Cha Eui-jae to take responsibility for Lee Sa-young. Because he saved him, he kept him alive, and he failed to save him again…
‘But why Lee Sa-young?’
His thoughts broke off abruptly. Sa-young, who was watching Eui-jae’s expression, spoke softly as if to soothe him.
“No matter how much I explain it here… it won’t resonate with you.”
It was a tone that Eui-jae had never heard from Lee Sa-young, but it felt strangely familiar. Even in his dazed state, Eui-jae was able to quickly find the answer. Well, it was similar to the tone he used when talking to the boy.
“Hyung has lived half his life thinking that way, taking it for granted, so it can’t be helped.”
“……”
“So, think for yourself. What is the equal relationship I want? Why do I want it?”
“……”
“When you find your own answer, I’ll tell you then.”
Sa-young emphasized his last words.
“I will, personally.”
After speaking, he held out his pinky finger. Eui-jae stared blankly at the black finger. Lee Sa-young, the boy who struggled to intertwine his finger with a finger that didn’t move well. Eui-jae hesitated and touched his pinky finger to his. The lukewarm sensation of leather was familiar.
Lee Sa-young, who quickly intertwined his finger, added in an annoyed voice.
“Don’t even think about asking someone like Jung-bin until you find the answer. Like Hyung said, I’m the only one who can tell you about me.”
“……”
“You have to answer.”
“…Okay.”
Eui-jae nodded slowly. The purple eyes, which had been suspiciously examining Eui-jae, narrowed slightly.
“Ah, maybe….”
“…Huh?”
“You don’t know what an equal relationship is? That’s possible. I understand.”
“Oh, you crazy brat.”
Eui-jae, who unconsciously blurted out a rough word, swallowed his breath. The resentment that had been weighing down on him evaporated the moment he heard the rude words, and his emotions instinctively surged. This wasn’t an unconscious reflex. It was a conditioned reflex that had developed while interacting with Lee Sa-young after escaping the Rift!
How scary are people’s habits? Even if he tried to be kind consciously, Eui-jae’s body operated according to the database he had built up over the years. Moreover, the boy with the bandages and the smirking Lee Sa-young were still tilting their heads side by side in his mind.
Lee Sa-young raised the corner of his lips.
“Ah…, you crazy brat?”
“……”
“That’s strange…. Wasn’t I Hyung’s only one?”
“……”
There was no room for excuses. Was it this difficult to be nice? Eui-jae’s head gradually moved towards the floor. He tried to find an ant crawling on the floor with his eyes wide open, but it was in vain. Only a few blades of grass that had grown through the gaps in the soft flooring swayed sadly.
Sa-young, who was admiring Eui-jae’s round crown, asked in a laughing voice.
“Ah…. Maybe a new nickname?”
“…Sa-young.”
“Yeah.”
“Shut up.”
Lee Sa-young, who covered his mouth to hold back his laughter, leaned back and laughed loudly.
“Ahahaha!”
At the sound, Min-gi Seo, who had disappeared into the shadows, suddenly appeared and peeked out at them again. His eyes widened behind his sunglasses. It seemed quite rare for Lee Sa-young to laugh out loud. But Eui-jae didn’t care.
‘Please turn your head.’
Eui-jae tilted his head to the side. Min-gi Seo obediently turned his head. Meanwhile, Lee Sa-young was still laughing out loud. Eui-jae gritted his teeth and whispered.
“Hey, don’t laugh.”
“Hahaha… Ah, are you trying right now?”
Eui-jae answered calmly, but seriously.
“I’m fucking trying, so don’t keep interrupting me. Let me be a little nicer.”
“Ah….”
Sa-young, who took a deep breath as if trying to stop laughing, chuckled. His voice, filled with laughter, asked.
“Are you confused?”
“……”
Eui-jae didn’t answer. Lee Sa-young smiled slyly as if he knew everything.
The time he spent with the boy he saved is precious enough to never be forgotten. Enough to endure a long time with just that memory. But….
“Hyung.”
Cha Eui-jae’s life was split in two by the huge wall called the West Sea Rift. Life before the wall was with his aunt and the boy, and life after the wall was with his Grandmother, Ha-eun, and Lee Sa-young.
Eui-jae spread out his palm. The faint scars that remained like cracks were shining with a subtle golden light. The moment he cut his palm with a dagger was still vividly etched in his memory.
From the moment he first met Lee Sa-young after escaping the Rift until now. He spent a considerable amount of time with Lee Sa-young. So much so that he couldn’t explain the time without him.
He clearly knows that the boy and Lee Sa-young are the same person. But….
Sa-young curved his thick lips into a smile. His languid voice whispered.
“I know you know we’re the same person, and I’m grateful that you’re alive, and I’m sorry, and now that you know this, it’s a little difficult to treat me the same as before… so I want to be nice to you, but it doesn’t work out.”
Each word flew like a dagger and pierced him.
“Well…. I may have acted a little cute in the past.”
The purple eyes without light stared at Eui-jae. Sa-young said playfully, but sharply.
“You’re not ready yet, Hyung.”
“……”
“You haven’t even decided how to treat me properly… what are you going to do?”
Eui-jae sighed briefly. Sa-young’s words were right. From the moment he suddenly found out that Lee Sa-young was the boy until now, he hadn’t looked back on his own feelings. He had only been running around to find out about the hardships Sa-young had gone through and his past. Ignoring the subtle sense of alienation.
Sa-young crossed his arms, holding a mask in his hand.
“Stop if you’re moving out of guilt.”
“……”
“It would be wiser to worry about the homework I gave you during that time….”
Eui-jae, who had been listening to him silently, snatched the mask from Sa-young’s hand and put it on his face. The slightly distorted expression behind the black mask disappeared. The distorted voice grumbled.
“You’re rude to Hyung.”
Sa-young tilted his head.
“So, do you hate it?”
“……”
Eui-jae didn’t answer. Instead, he suddenly reached out and ruffled Sa-young’s hair. Ah, Sa-young, who let out a short, annoyed groan, glared at him.
“What are you doing?”
“I don’t hate it.”
“……”
“How can I hate you?”
Sa-young opened his mouth slightly. His purple eyes widened. Eui-jae, who scratched his head, turned his body away.
“Aish… I’m leaving.”
“…Wait, Hyung!”
The moment Sa-young reached out his hand, the wind blew. A low voice was mixed in the wind.
“I’ll think about what you said….”
The wind stopped. Before he knew it, Eui-jae had disappeared. Sa-young, who was staring blankly at the empty playground, clenched his fist. At that moment, he heard a rustling sound from behind.
“Guild Leader.”
Min-gi Seo was approaching with his headphones around his neck. Sa-young glanced back. The Romantic Opener was still hanging quietly on the seesaw like semi-dried squid.
As Min-gi Seo stood behind Sa-young’s feet, Lee Sa-young muttered in an annoyed voice.
“I didn’t know Jung-bin would be such a blabbermouth….”
“It seems that the bond between the two of you was deeper than we thought.”
“……”
“I guess it’s because you spent time together in the Dark Ages. Well, it’s a part we didn’t consider. I’ll pay more attention in the future.”
“Whatever.”
Min-gi Seo glanced at Sa-young behind his sunglasses. And he stood upright with his hands behind his back. Sa-young snapped coldly.
“Report earlier from now on.”
“Yes, I’m sorry.”
Min-gi Seo bowed his head. Sa-young crossed his arms and tapped the floor with his foot. Min-gi Seo, who was quietly reading his mood, asked carefully.
“Is it okay to let him go like this? Based on our experience so far, I don’t think he’ll stop acting just by talking. I’m wondering if he’s going into another research lab….”
“No.”
Sa-young stopped walking. The streetlights, which had been flickering for a while, went out weakly. The lips hidden in the darkness lifted slightly.
“He won’t be able to move. For a while….”
“Yes? Why…”
“Because I promised.”
Sa-young slowly began to move his feet. As Min-gi Seo flicked his fingers, the shadow under the seesaw gathered into the shape of a small person. And he began to drag the scattered Romantic Openers.
“He’ll be too busy thinking about me.”
“Is that a problem with an answer in the first place?”
“Well….”
Sa-young stuck out his black tongue slightly and bit the tip of his tongue with his teeth. It was a playful attitude.
“I think it’s okay to be this mischievous.”
“Yes, well. I doubt that the customer will think so too.”
Min-gi Seo sighed briefly. As they reached the exit of the playground, Sa-young suddenly opened his mouth.
“I’m regretting it.”
“……”
“If I had known it was J…. I wouldn’t have let him approach at all.”
His sighing voice was mixed with the wind and disappeared. Soon, the figures of the three people melted into the shadows and disappeared.