By Zephyria Seo Jeong-won, who had fallen to his knees, squeezed his eyes shut. He heard the sound of the door opening and closing, followed by the sound of shoes walking around the rear of a vehicle.
When he opened his eyelids again, he saw Kwon Tae-hee’s arm extended towards him, lowered to his level.
“Thank you.”
“Shall I help you up?”
“……It’s okay.”
With the movement of his head shaking slightly, the Pheromone he had released to vibrate throughout his body scattered gently. He felt good enough not to point out the impudent refusal.
Kwon Tae-hee smiled and helped Seo Jeong-won up. Pretending not to notice his embarrassment, he held onto him all the way to Seo Gyu-won’s hospital room.
There were many people who blatantly frowned as they crossed the hospital lobby and in the elevator.
Kwon Tae-hee, who glanced at them, seemed unfazed, but Seo Jeong-won was not. He couldn’t lift his head the entire way to the hospital room.
“Go in.”
Kwon Tae-hee, who had shown unwanted kindness, stopped Seo Jeong-won in front of the hospital room door. Seo Jeong-won, gripping the doorknob with trembling hands, repeatedly muttered his thanks. Kwon Tae-hee watched him from a step behind.
“What’s wrong?”
“……”
“Are you uncomfortable?”
“……Pardon?”
“I was wondering if you were feeling awkward about going in right after having sex with me.”
It wasn’t exactly a question, as there was no inflection in his voice. Seo Jeong-won mumbled that it wasn’t that, and released the doorknob he had been gripping tightly.
“I thought… it would be better to wash my face before going in. My eyes hurt, and my face is too hot. I think I’ll feel better if I wash it with cold water.”
Listening to the rambling excuses, Kwon Tae-hee’s gaze slowly moved up and down Seo Jeong-won. His face, clearly showing signs of having cried, and the neck covered in marks made by lips, were clearly visible.
It also seemed that the lingering smell of sex, though covered by Pheromone, was making Seo Jeong-won hesitate.
It would have been nice if he had something to take off or put on instead, but Kwon Tae-hee didn’t have anything suitable either. Understanding Seo Jeong-won’s situation somewhat relieved his unpleasant mood.
“May I escort you?”
Kwon Tae-hee nodded without hesitation at the question, asked while hiding his trembling hands. A large hand reached out to his face and gently stroked his cheek.
“I almost misunderstood.”
Seo Jeong-won felt like he was sinking into guilt and accepted his touch. He didn’t know what he was so grateful and thankful for, but he muttered his thanks to him again.
He walked alongside Kwon Tae-hee. He pressed the call button in front of the elevator and focused his gaze on the floor indicator. It usually came up quickly, but today it was unusually slow.
“You should eat.”
“There’s a restaurant in the basement. I heard the menu is good, so I was planning to eat there. Executive Director, please take care of your meals too…”
“Are you worried about me?”
Seo Jeong-won nodded at the playful voice. He casually added that it was obvious. Just then, the elevator arrived. At the same time as the cheerful mechanical sound, Kwon Tae-hee bent down.
“Wait patiently until I contact you.”
He barely nodded at the hand gently stroking the back of his head. Seo Jeong-won awkwardly raised his arm, which had been lowered, and hugged Kwon Tae-hee’s waist. His lips brushed against his ear.
Kwon Tae-hee acted as if he was reluctant to leave. Seo Jeong-won bowed towards him as he leisurely moved and got into the elevator. There was no waving or polite greeting to tell him to go in. The door closed and the elevator descended.
Even after seeing him off, he couldn’t relax and couldn’t move for a while. He barely regained his senses and turned around. Seo Jeong-won wrapped his arms around his upper body, shivering from the cold, and walked.
Seo Jeong-won entered the restroom at the end of the hallway and turned on the cold water at the sink. After hesitating, he lifted his head to check his appearance.
“……Ah.”
He looked perfectly flushed. The pale complexion he had all day was different. The area around his eyes was red, and Fever rash spread around his cheekbones.
His swollen red lips and the marks made by lips that stretched from his exposed neck to behind his ears were densely connected.
His gaze moved further down. On the back of his hand holding the sink, there was a reddish band-like mark on his wrist where Kwon Tae-hee had grabbed him, his shorts were crumpled haphazardly, and his underwear was damp with semen that had melted from his body temperature because it hadn’t been properly removed.
For a moment, he felt disgusted with his appearance. He put his trembling hands, shaking like they were swaying in the flowing water, on his face and repeatedly splashed cold water on it. He rubbed and rubbed again, even scrubbing the back of his neck.
The same action was repeated for a long time, soaking the front of his top. Seo Jeong-won checked his face, which had calmed down a little in the cold water, and squatted in the corner of the restroom.
He roughly wiped the moisture from his chin with the back of his hand and took a long breath to calm his pounding heart.
No one will know. I won’t say anything until I die, so no one will know. It’s okay, it’s still okay. No one knows. So… it’s okay. People live in big and small lies. This is just a slightly bigger lie. A lie that doesn’t cause harm, like that…
“Heu…”
He burst into tears. His face, which he had tried so hard to calm down, flushed red again.
Seo Jeong-won couldn’t go back to the hospital room that day. He sat with a blank look in his eyes on a chair in front of the elevator for a long time, then barely contacted the caregiver and asked her to bring his bag out.
His eyes were swollen and he looked a mess, so he couldn’t lift his head even when he received the bag. He consciously raised his hand to his neck to cover the red marks.
“……Thank you.”
“Are you sick? Why are you sweating so much? Your hair is all wet too. You’ll catch a cold.”
“I’m okay. Thank you.”
“Oh, Jeong-won.”
At the caregiver’s call, Seo Jeong-won lifted his head, which had been lowered.
The caregiver seemed surprised when she saw his face, but she assumed he was upset about his Hyung and had cried.
Considering the young guardian’s sensitive nature, it was plausible. Still, she was glad that the news she was about to tell him was good.
“Actually, I contacted you earlier.”
Seo Jeong-won smiled awkwardly at her strangely excited voice.
“Ah… I didn’t answer the phone. I was going to, but I was out of it… I was out of it. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. Well, it’s not that, but did anyone other than Jeong-won come to the hospital room?”
“Yes? Another… person?”
“The doctor said that Gyu-won seemed to have reacted to Pheromone. But the guardian is also Beta, and I’m also Beta… so they asked me.”
He couldn’t understand what she was saying because of her clumsy explanation. Seo Jeong-won waited for the caregiver’s mysterious words to continue.
“Gyu-won’s heart rate and blood pressure went up! There was no pupillary reflex, but the nurse said that these symptoms are a good sign. But… don’t get your hopes up too much.”
“He reacted to Pheromone…?”
“Yes, they said this doesn’t happen often!”
The caregiver told Seo Jeong-won not to expect too much, but she raised her voice. Rather, she was the one who couldn’t hide her excitement.
“He’s been unconscious for over a year, and this is the first time he’s reacted. Because of that, the professor in charge wanted to confirm it one more time and asked me to contact the guardian, but Jeong-won wasn’t answering the phone. Who came?”
Seo Jeong-won couldn’t answer her question. He moved his lips and barely mumbled that a friend had stopped by for a while.
“Jeong-won, don’t get your hopes up too much, but this is really great.”
“……”
“Hurry up, hurry up. It’s a long bus ride… how can you manage?”
Seo Jeong-won shook his head in response to the caregiver’s concern and bowed deeply. She pressed the elevator call button for Seo Jeong-won, who was frozen in place.
“Working as a caregiver in a hospital, I often see things happen that can’t be explained except as miracles.”
“……”
“They say heaven helps. I wonder if that’s the case with Gyu-won. I’m dazed.”
Seo Jeong-won couldn’t answer and just nodded. The caregiver told him to bring the friend who came to the hospital room with him today again and waved her hand.
The words “I’m relieved” were etched in Seo Jeong-won’s heart. Should he feel guilty, or should he just be happy about the good news?
He was so overwhelmed by mixed emotions that it was difficult to breathe properly.
* * *
Since that day, the Fever rash that had been tormenting Seo Jeong-won had subsided, but he was still suffering from abdominal pain. And he still hadn’t told Kwon Tae-hee that Seo Gyu-won had reacted to Pheromone.
“Ha…”
It was because Kwon Tae-hee was too busy, and he hadn’t decided how to tell him.
He could hardly get a reply if he sent a message, and Chief Jung answered most of the phone calls he had made with all the courage he could muster.
Chief Jung said he would leave a note for Kwon Tae-hee, but Seo Jeong-won ended the call by saying he would call again.