By Zephyria Seo Jeong-won roughly tidied up the flower shop and headed straight to the terminal. Even though he had left with plenty of time, it was still a close call. He was relieved he didn’t miss the bus.
As soon as he found his seat, he sent a message to the caregiver, with whom he had been exchanging occasional messages, letting her know he would be visiting briefly.
It had been a while. Seo Jeong-won slowly went through the photos the caregiver had sent him again. The caregiver sent him several photos every day so he wouldn’t worry. It was markedly different from the six months he had spent taking care of his Hyung alone.
Thanks to the daily cleaning and lotion applications, his Hyung’s face, though pale, had a healthy sheen. The bedsores that had marred his back were also healing.
Unlike the despair he felt six months ago, he now had a sense of hope that he would wake up soon if he just waited. The fact that he had made this decision stung his conscience, but there was no other way. He justified it by telling himself that anyone would have made the same choice.
He had nothing better left to offer. No, he had no choice at all.
Even if it meant appearing naive, as Kwon Tae-hee had once said, he believed Kwon Tae-hee’s words that he and his Hyung had not shared any feelings. If that weren’t the case, he would never have made this decision.
If his Hyung woke up, if he would just wake up…
Seo Gyu-won would never know. When Seo Jeong-won revisited Kwon Tae-hee and signed the documents he presented, Seo Jeong-won had asked that if his Hyung woke up, he should never be told about the contract he had made with him.
“Haa…”
He felt nauseous. Seo Jeong-won turned off the photos of his Hyung, which he had been looking at for a long time, one by one, and closed his eyes.
The hospital room he arrived at was pleasant. When Seo Jeong-won pushed the door open, the caregiver was turning Seo Gyu-won’s body over.
“Who…”
“Hello, I’m Seo Jeong-won. His younger brother.”
“Ah, you’re the guardian! Hello. We’ve exchanged messages and talked on the phone a few times, but this is the first time we’ve met in person.”
“I’m sorry. I’m too late, aren’t I?”
Seo Jeong-won bowed his head. He handed over the drinks he had bought at the convenience store before coming up to the room, and the caregiver thanked him, saying he shouldn’t have bothered.
“Don’t worry too much about Gyu-won. I’ll take good care of him.”
“Thank you.”
“I change his position often and open the blinds when the sun is good. Though I can’t open the window. And his back is much cleaner now. Would you like to see?”
“No, I saw the photos you sent. I was worried about it, but thank you so much. More than that… why don’t you take a break and come back? I’ll stay here.”
As Seo Jeong-won explained the location of the lounge, the caregiver refused, a bewildered look on her youthful face.
“This is my job. Thank you for your concern.”
“It’s not that… I also want to be alone with my Hyung. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen him.”
“Oh, if that’s the case, I was being insensitive. I was just about to get some water. There’s a little left, but it’s from yesterday. Could you watch him for a moment?”
The caregiver bowed her head, looking embarrassed and awkward. Seo Jeong-won also bowed, repeatedly thanking her.
She grabbed her water bottle and smiled as she left the room. The sound of her footsteps faded quietly, and the door closed.
Seo Jeong-won, who had been looking at his Hyung’s neatly trimmed fingernails, carefully took his hand, which was resting peacefully. He felt a cool temperature. His palm was soft, and his skin was smooth. It was thanks to the moisturizing lotion the caregiver applied every day. When he took care of him, his skin was always dry.
Seo Jeong-won, stroking the back of his hand, muttered the words he had now become quite accustomed to saying to himself.
“I’m sorry I came so late. Have you been doing well?”
He continued, looking fondly at his pale face.
“I’ve been busy taking care of the flower shop these days. Ah, the flower shop is what my Auntie and Uncle took over when I entered high school. But after they passed away in an accident back then, we still haven’t found a buyer. They say it’s because the economy is bad… I don’t really know. I think it’s because the flower shop is small.”
Seo Jeong-won smiled bitterly as he looked at Seo Gyu-won, who was so still that even his breathing was quiet.
“Anyway, I left it unattended for a few months, and it was a real mess, so I’m there every day.”
He checked his straight fingers and carefully put his hand back down.
“I thought it was dead, you know? The leaves and stems were so dry that I thought it was dead, but I kept watering it, repotting it, and giving it nutrients… and when I took care of it like that, new sprouts came up? It’s amazing. After saving them one by one like that, I felt like Hyung would wake up too.”
There were quite a few things he wanted to talk about when he woke up, but he was also worried that his Hyung wouldn’t want to see him when he woke up.
These worries would be happy worries if he just woke up. If he said he didn’t want to see him, he would have to ask him to meet him just once. Seo Jeong-won nodded firmly, making up his mind.
As he looked at his Hyung with affectionate eyes, the hospital room door opened. The caregiver, who had returned with a clean water bottle filled with water, met Seo Jeong-won’s eyes and smiled gently.
“It’s nice to be able to leave my post for a little while like this because the guardian is here.”
“If it’s not too much trouble, I’ll come often in the future. And you can call me comfortably.”
“No, if I treat the guardian too comfortably, I tend to act rudely. It’s my professional creed that I need to be moderately uncomfortable to maintain boundaries.”
The caregiver said firmly. Seo Jeong-won didn’t press further. In that brief moment, he agreed with what she said.
“Can I stay a little longer?”
“Of course. Don’t worry about me and make yourself comfortable. You’re family, after all.”
“…Thank you.”
The caregiver felt sorry for the young guardian who kept looking at her. She didn’t know about the guardian when she was commissioned for the job because there was no information about him, and she hesitated to ask his age while exchanging messages because it seemed rude.
She had sensed a certain naivety in his voice during their phone calls, but she hadn’t imagined such a young guardian.
Having met him in person today, she thought that Seo Jeong-won might be very young. She even guessed that he might not be an adult yet.
“Would it be rude of me to ask how old you are? I thought you were a student.”
“Ah, I’m twenty-one. I don’t go to college, and I run a small flower shop in Seonam. I was wondering about asking you too… do you like plants?”
“Oh my, you run a flower shop. Of course, I like plants and animals. But I could believe you if you said you were a high school student.”
Seo Jeong-won smiled awkwardly at her exclamation. He wondered what kind of potted plant would be a good gift for the caregiver when he came next time.
* * *
Contrary to his intention to stay with his Hyung all day and then go home, Seo Jeong-won stayed at the hospital for about an hour.
After exchanging the words “Please take good care of him” and “Don’t worry” several times, he headed to the terminal.
When he took care of his Hyung alone, half a day would pass in the blink of an eye, but since the caregiver was taking care of everything, there was nothing to do but sit still.
Perhaps because it was an awkward time of day, the highway was wide open without any traffic jams, and he returned to Seonam faster than expected.
He stopped at the bus stop to go to the flower shop. He briefly considered whether it would be better to take a taxi, but he only thought about it. Fortunately, he arrived before sunset. The sky was just beginning to turn red little by little.
Seo Jeong-won, who had been killing time by repeatedly raising and lowering his toes, suddenly took his cell phone out of his bag. There were no missed calls or unread messages. He hadn’t received a single call all day.
Seo Jeong-won found Kwon Tae-hee’s number with familiarity and hesitated for a moment. Would it be better to tell him that he had visited his Hyung and thank him?
Or… would it be better to stay quiet since the lack of contact meant that he wasn’t particularly interested?
Why was he agonizing so much over sending just one message, to the point where his head felt like it was about to explode? Seo Jeong-won, feeling dejected, stared intently at the screen and nodded as if he had made a great decision.
[This is Jeong-won, I went to the hospital and came back safely. Thank you.]
It sounded a little strange when he wrote it. It seemed too short and only contained the bare essentials.
Would it be better to ask if he had been busy all day and if he had eaten well?
He erased the short sentence and rewrote it, repeating it for a long time. He even worried about it after getting on the bus to the flower shop.
[This is Jeong-won, did you get to work okay? Executive Director allowed me to go to the hospital. Thank you.]
It seemed too stiff, so he added an emoticon.
[^^ Be careful on your way home.]
Didn’t it seem like he was giving a warning? It even had an ominous feeling, as if he was being targeted dangerously from somewhere.
He erased everything from the emoticon to the end and wrote that he should make sure to have dinner. Perhaps because he had been struggling with it for so long, he arrived at the flower shop quickly. The familiar bus stop name came on the announcement.