By Zephyria Kwon Tae-hee carefully detached his fingers intertwined with Seo Jeong-won’s, then re-grasped his hand, ensuring his thumb pointed upwards. He then gently tapped the reddened, raw flesh.
“Ah……!”
A groan escaped involuntarily. Seo Jeong-won’s face and eyes flushed simultaneously. He applied a weak force, as if wanting to pull his captured hand away. Kwon Tae-hee blew on the tip of his thumb to dissipate the disinfectant, then applied ointment.
“It hurts……, it hurts.”
Even at the trembling voice that sounded as if he were crying, Kwon Tae-hee didn’t loosen his grip. Only after meticulously applying a bandage did he release his hand. Seo Jeong-won hastily hid his hand behind his back, looking frightened as if he feared being grabbed again. Kwon Tae-hee, silently amused by his childlike behavior, stared intently at Seo Jeong-won.
“Do you still want to wash?”
Though he asked, he didn’t necessarily want an answer. Kwon Tae-hee chose to extend his hand towards the parched body before his trembling lips could utter a sound.
He transferred the Intravenous drip to a portable stand, and lightly lifted Seo Jeong-won. Startled by the sudden action, Seo Jeong-won clung to him with feeble strength. Was he worried he would drop him? His thin arms wrapped tightly around his neck, as if afraid.
His movements towards the bathroom were unhindered. Kwon Tae-hee sat Seo Jeong-won in the bathtub and carefully removed the clothes he was wearing. His pale body was soon revealed. Kwon Tae-hee gazed at his rounded, swollen belly as if it were something precious. He gently stroked it, then abruptly remembered that he shouldn’t spend too much time washing him and removed his hand.
Seo Jeong-won, in truth, regretted asking for his help as soon as he took off his clothes. He blamed himself for making a needless request. It would have been better to endure the stickiness. He flinched at the touch of the hands that caressed every part of his body while applying soap, and each time he involuntarily made a sound, he wanted to melt away with the soapy water.
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Seo Jeong-won’s face was flushed red after Kwon Tae-hee helped him wash. Unable to calm the rising heat, he lowered his gaze and passively accepted the touch that dried his hair with lukewarm air.
Because his hair had grown quite long, it took a while to dry. Seo Jeong-won, feeling the soft fingertips that massaged his scalp, voiced the thought that had been constantly circling in his mind.
“When I was young.”
“…….”
“……So many things changed so suddenly in one day that I was scared.”
Kwon Tae-hee put down the hairdryer at the sudden, quiet voice. After tenderly arranging the almost-dry hair, he met Seo Jeong-won’s eyes through the mirror. His clear, mournful face slowly uttered the words.
“Even when you’re young, you have a sense of…… things, don’t you? Whether someone likes you or dislikes you. Things like that.”
“…….”
“I felt like I probably wouldn’t be loved by my aunt and uncle, so I thought I should at least try not to be hated. Something like that.”
Seo Jeong-won revealed his unhappy childhood, which he remembered vividly despite being young, to Kwon Tae-hee, and smiled bitterly, saying that his memories might be hazy and not entirely accurate. His gaze naturally fell downwards. He slowly blinked his eyes, then tapped the bandaged thumb and continued speaking without much thought.
“I used to get scolded a lot back then, so after being scolded, I would reflect and think that I should never do that again tomorrow. But…… no matter how much I corrected my behavior, I got scolded every day.”
Seo Jeong-won, who had been frowning as he recounted the past, looked at Kwon Tae-hee, who was watching him through the mirror. The moment his eyes met his, he imagined himself glossing over it, saying it was nothing much, and ending the story. Even if he did, he knew that Kwon Tae-hee wouldn’t persistently demand that he tell him more.
“I’m listening.”
A kind and gentle voice rang out. At his reply, Seo Jeong-won quietly nodded, then slowly opened his lips again, which had been trembling several times.
“So later…… I changed my mind from trying not to be hated to trying not to get scolded tomorrow. You could say that not getting scolded was my goal. But back then, I was too young…… to realize that my very existence was the problem.”
“…….”
“I think I would have been scolded less if I hadn’t loitered around my aunt and uncle……. It was frustrating because I kept getting scolded every day even though I tried. So I started having strange fantasies before going to bed.”
Seo Jeong-won had never revealed his absurd delusions to anyone before, so he was very embarrassed to say them out loud.
“That my current reality isn’t real, but an alien’s dream. That it would all end when the alien wakes up…… something like that.”
“What a pitiful and cute fantasy.”
“I don’t know if Executive Director had them when you were in school……, but when I was in elementary school, there were a lot of conspiracy theories. Like, if several people jumped at the same time, you could move to another dimension, or something like that. But even though I was at an age where I believed everything, I thought that moving to another dimension was really nonsense. An alien’s dream was better.”
At the voice that laughed in dismay, Kwon Tae-hee reached out without realizing it. He took Seo Jeong-won’s hand, which was starting to tremble, and quietly asked.
“So, did it get any better when you had those fantasies?”
“For a while…… I think I was able to escape. I think I escaped from the situation I was in a little, but in the end, when morning came, it was too real again, so I was very…… discouraged.”
“……Did you have those fantasies even after you grew up?”
Kwon Tae-hee’s eyes landed on his slightly flushed cheeks. He wondered if he had a fever, but it seemed he was just embarrassed to reveal his past.
“I did, a few times. Right before I went to see Executive Director, and in Donghae. And…… here.”
“…….”
“I’m still running away. I guess…… I’m just that kind of person.”
Seo Jeong-won, who had ultimately reached a negative conclusion, smiled like a sigh. He pulled his hand away from Kwon Tae-hee, scratched his cheek, and avoided even the gentle gaze that met his, looking at the floor.
“You did what I wanted, but I felt resentful and sad. What more can I do…….”
“That’s understandable. You can’t know what Jeong-won feels.”
“Would it have been better if I were a little older? I don’t know. I don’t know what I want, so…….”
He thought that the relationship would be cleanly settled if Kwon Tae-hee just let him go. So when he heard the farewell, he thought that all the worries and concerns that would be placed before him in the future would only be related to the baby. He naturally thought that would be the case, but when he disappeared from his sight, his head was filled with Kwon Tae-hee. Not even for a single day, not even once, did he worry about how to raise the baby alone.
“I like Jeong-won. The thought that it would be nice to have Jeong-won in my future is still unchanged.”
“…….”
“And it’s okay if Jeong-won doesn’t like me.”
Seo Jeong-won widened his eyes at Kwon Tae-hee, who calmly revealed his feelings.
“They say unrequited love is also love, and if I’ve made Jeong-won worry, I guess it’s somewhat achieved.”
“I’ll probably continue to be like this. I won’t change easily, so eventually Executive Director will…….”
“It’s fortunate that I like Jeong-won more. The one with more affection is usually more generous.”
It meant that he would understand everything. Just in case Seo Jeong-won didn’t properly understand the meaning of his words, he was about to explain again, but the clueless young Omega fortunately understood the meaning at once this time.
“If you need a place to escape, how about Danpung, who will be born soon?”
Kwon Tae-hee asked cautiously, recalling that Seo Jeong-won had described himself as that kind of person.
“Danpung will grow up as an innocent child who doesn’t have to worry about being hated by anyone, or make resolutions not to get scolded tomorrow. Safely and comfortably within my fence.”
“…….”
“Wouldn’t that be enough reason for now?”
He hoped that even the guilt towards Seo Gyu-won would eventually be transformed into a feeling of liking him. Even if it was at a very slow pace, he wanted his tender and soft heart to be entirely his.
“Don’t you want to create a decent family for the child?”
“……I do want to. Sniffle, sniffle.”
“That’s enough.”
Knowing that his heart was weak and fragile, he shook him, and Seo Jeong-won shook exactly as expected. He thought it was fortunate that his upbringing was full of deprivation. If that weren’t the case, his trickery wouldn’t have worked in the first place. He took Seo Jeong-won’s hand, whose thin shoulders were shaking, and gently stroked the back of his hand.
In the end, Seo Jeong-won, who had been wavering, completely crossed the line.