By Zephyria Seo Jeong-won contorted his face. He really couldn’t shake the feeling that he was causing a variety of troubles to many people.
“Ha… I’ll be lucky if I don’t get cut off.”
Seo Jeong-won chewed on his fingernails, agonizing over whether to contact Kang Da-hyun in advance or not. He’s about to have a baby soon, so wouldn’t it be better to contact him after the birth?
“Or… he’ll worry, so should I call him beforehand?”
It wasn’t a complicated problem, and the situation could be resolved with a simple apology call, but Seo Jeong-won couldn’t easily make a decision. His pale face was tinged with anxiety.
“What should I do?”
His voice trembled with unease. His thinned fingernails were quickly torn off. Seo Jeong-won stopped only after tasting the metallic tang of blood from the raw flesh. Startled by the spreading taste of blood, he pulled his hand away and rubbed his finger roughly on his hospital gown. The blood that had begun to seep out stained the white hospital gown messily.
Seo Jeong-won stared blankly at his finger, feeling a stinging pain, and felt a sense of helplessness. He had never thought of himself as particularly intelligent, but he felt even more stupid than before. He sighed deeply, unable to hold it in, and looked resentfully at the sky, which still offered nothing.
To calm his rising anxiety, he picked up the cardigan he had set down and buried his face in it. No matter how deeply he inhaled, the Pheromone was only faint. Perhaps because it had been taken out, there was hardly any scent left. He rummaged through the clothes irritably and buried his face in them again, then reflexively turned his head at the sound of the door opening.
“Oh my, did your guest already leave?”
The caregiver, who had gone to buy something to drink from the cafe, widened her eyes in surprise and checked her surroundings. Then, she noticed the reddish marks on Seo Jeong-won’s hospital gown and quickly approached him, startled. She unhesitatingly took the hand holding the clothes and checked his fingernails, her face slightly furrowing.
“Oh dear, I thought you didn’t have a habit of biting your nails because they were so neat and pretty.”
“…”
“It’s bleeding. Just a moment. I’ll tell the nurse to put some ointment and a bandage on it. It must sting.”
“…It doesn’t hurt much.”
Despite his quiet reply, the caregiver was firm. She moved quickly, saying it would be good to change his clothes as well. Seo Jeong-won tried to stop her with words of reassurance, but then nodded in agreement.
“I’ll be right back.”
“Yes. I’m sorry.”
“Sorry for what? You’re such an easy patient, Seo Jeong-won, that it doesn’t even feel like I’m taking care of you. It’s okay to bother me more than you do now, so please tell me everything you want.”
Seo Jeong-won realized that the caregiver had noticed his feelings and was deliberately trying to lighten the mood. She smiled gently until the moment she turned around. He watched her leave the room, saying she would be back soon, and sighed as soon as the door closed. He had always lived well on his own, but now he found it difficult to even live alone without someone’s help. He wondered how he had ended up like this, then shook his head at the thought that always led back to Kwon Tae-hee.
He tried to divert his attention. He ran his fingers through his dry hair, gently combing it, and then remembered that he hadn’t been able to wash for three days because of his cold. He was really grimy. As soon as he thought about washing, his head and body felt itchy.
Seo Jeong-won carefully pulled the sleeves of his hospital gown over his fingertips to avoid getting blood on the bed and lay down on his side. He closed his eyes, hugging Kwon Tae-hee’s cardigan, and decided to ask the caregiver to ask his doctor if he could take a shower when she returned.
How long had he waited like that? He heard the sound of the door opening.
“Um… I want to take a shower too. I’ve stopped coughing, so I think it’s okay to wash, but could you ask if I can?”
“…”
“My hair is so messy, it’s going to be funny. I’ll really wash in 10 minutes this time. But aren’t you sending my clothes today? I guess they won’t come because it’s a holiday? But… this doesn’t smell much anymore. Maybe a call…, no. Never mind.”
Seo Jeong-won, who had been muttering quietly to himself, felt embarrassed when no answer came back, no matter how long he waited. He wondered if he had been too spoiled and slowly raised himself from his side. Perhaps because he lacked the strength, he was out of breath just from sitting up. He swept back his messy hair as if embarrassed and turned his head, his eyes widening in an instant.
“Chief Jung is off today too. Because it’s Christmas.”
“…”
“I thought you might need it, so I brought it myself. I thought it would be nice to say hello while I was here, so I stopped by for a moment.”
Kwon Tae-hee gazed intently at Seo Jeong-won’s dandelion-seed-like hair, his surprised wide eyes, and his gaping lips. It was truly a sight that stirred his protective instincts. He suppressed the urge to hug him as he curved his lips, and Seo Jeong-won’s pale face slowly turned red.
“If it’s okay with you, Jeong-won… shall I release my Pheromone?”
“…Yes.”
With a nod and a small answer, Kwon Tae-hee released his Pheromone and moved slowly. It was solely for the mother and fetus, so its nature was even more comforting and gentle than usual.
Kwon Tae-hee keenly recognized Seo Jeong-won’s attitude, which was markedly different from when he had been trembling and unable to say a word in front of him, and he was certain that the moment he had been waiting for was not far off. He suppressed his primal instinct to get as close as possible and headed to the bedside.
“How’s your cold?”
“Just a little… cough.”
He nodded at the quiet reply and was about to speak again when the hospital room door opened and the caregiver entered. She quickly approached Seo Jeong-won with brisk steps, then stopped when she saw the visitor.
“Hello.”
“Oh my, hello.”
The caregiver bowed her head lightly. She concealed her embarrassment and briefly explained to Kwon Tae-hee why she had left her post, showing the disinfectant cotton, ointment, and bandage in her hand.
“I’ll be out of the way so you can talk comfortably.”
The caregiver placed the things she had brought on the table and naturally went back the way she had come. Kwon Tae-hee picked up the things she had put down and approached Seo Jeong-won, opening his mouth.
“Are you hurt?”
“Ah, no. It’s not that I’m hurt…”
Seo Jeong-won waved his hand as if making an excuse, revealing the bloodstains on his sleeve. Kwon Tae-hee’s eyes sensitively checked the spot.
“Will you show me?”
“…It’s just, this…”
Seo Jeong-won, who had unconsciously hidden his hand, hesitated at his request to show it, then carefully extended his arm. Even then, he gripped the end of his sleeve, hiding his fingers. But despite his efforts, the fist placed on Kwon Tae-hee’s palm easily unfolded.
“I didn’t think you had this habit.”
At the low voice, Seo Jeong-won’s eyes, which had been wandering in the air, turned to his handsome face. His beautiful brow furrowed, and then a light sigh escaped. Kwon Tae-hee looked down at his hand with a serious expression.
“It looks like it will hurt if it touches water, but if it’s okay with you, shall I help you?”
Seo Jeong-won’s shoulders flinched at the quiet voice. Kwon Tae-hee thought to himself, ‘Is this too early?’ and anticipated what kind of answer he would receive. He quickly looked around, preparing his response to each reaction, rejection and acceptance, and then discovered a shopping bag on one side.
Song Hae-seop had visited today of all days. He didn’t know what he had said, but he was certain that he hadn’t spouted nonsense. He had said he wanted to apologize for deceiving him, so he must have just asked for forgiveness. Nevertheless, he was uneasy because he hadn’t received a report on what kind of conversation they had had. He didn’t expect it to benefit his relationship with Seo Jeong-won, but at least it shouldn’t be detrimental.
Many thoughts flashed through his mind in a short moment. Kwon Tae-hee lowered his head again to look at the wound and opened his mouth, judging that it was probably a rejection.
“Shall I come back later?”
As he was about to let go of the hand he was holding, a slender finger twitched and grabbed his hand.
“If you help me…”
Seo Jeong-won couldn’t finish his sentence and nodded. Kwon Tae-hee didn’t bother to hide his bewildered expression at the acceptance, not the rejection. In fact, he was a little moved.
“Are you really sure it’s okay?”
“…Yes.”
Seo Jeong-won looked at the neat face focused on his wound and actually had that thought. He wished he had been hurt a little more severely.
He felt like he wasn’t normal for thinking that way. It hadn’t been long since he had been pushing him away like crazy, but Seo Jeong-won contorted his face at the contradiction in his actions, which had changed as easily as flipping his hand. It was a secret he didn’t want anyone to know.