By Zephyria The small fishing village that Song Hae-seop had arrived at with Seo Jeong-won was far more wonderful than Seo Jeong-won had expected. Even the house, which he had said he didn’t know what condition it would be in since it had been empty for so long, was excessively excellent.
“Is this really the place? This looks like… a place I should be paying to stay at.”
“It… is. My uncle has a neat style. I just told him to tidy up, but he cleaned it up this much. I’m going crazy, really.”
The house was not just clean, but managed by a professional, like a hotel or resort. Especially the bedding. Song Hae-seop, thinking that Kwon Tae-hee must have really gone crazy, approached the bed before Seo Jeong-won’s eyes could reach it and pulled out the blanket tucked between the mattress and the frame.
“Let’s take a quick look around the house and go out. We have to see the neighborhood and say hello to my uncle.”
“Ah, okay.”
“And we have to eat. There’s a Noona I’ve known since I was little, and she said she wanted to have lunch with me since I was coming back to my hometown? I’ll introduce you to Jeong-won.”
“Noona?”
Song Hae-seop nodded, recalling Go Jin-hee, whom he had greeted in advance. The woman he had met with Chief Jung was 12 years older than him. She, who seemed to have been quite a beauty when she was younger, attracted attention with her unique, affable atmosphere. After hesitating at Chief Jung’s suggestion to decide on comfortable titles for each other, he thought it would be rude to call her Auntie, and Noona seemed better than Noonim, so he asked for her understanding. Go Jin-hee laughed heartily and gave her permission.
“She’s Noona to me, but she might not be to Jeong-won. Anyway, let’s take a quick look around here and go out. We’ll take a closer look later.”
Seo Jeong-won moved quickly at Song Hae-seop’s urging. He thanked him for naturally supporting him as he put on his shoes and waited for him, and then left the front door. The two walked along the coastal road that followed the beach. Perhaps because it was winter, there was no one on the beach. Even though the day was brilliantly clear.
“Ugh, it’s cold. Should I have driven?”
“Are you cold? I think I’m okay.”
“This wind is crazy.”
Seo Jeong-won smiled slightly at Song Hae-seop’s reaction. He put his hands in his pockets, touching his fairly bulging belly, and moved diligently. He couldn’t even remember the last time he had walked freely in a wide-open space during the day, and he was even moved.
“It’s okay if it’s a little further. I feel really refreshed and happy right now.”
“…What?”
“Seeing that I can’t even remember when I came out during the day, it must have been really… a long time.”
“Ha… Jeong-won. I’m sorry, but I can’t listen to these kinds of stories anymore. I feel a little uncomfortable. I’m sorry, really sorry.”
Song Hae-seop couldn’t bear the heavy guilt and distorted his expression. Every time Seo Jeong-won told his story so casually, the stone that pressed down on his chest grew heavier. The story, which made him look pathetic and miserable beyond pity, became a needle that pricked his conscience. In addition, the reality that he was participating in making him unhappy came to him clearly.
“Ah, I’m sorry. I was short-sighted. I didn’t even think that Hyung might be uncomfortable.”
Seo Jeong-won apologized again, not knowing anything. Song Hae-seop shook his head at him, who was repeatedly bowing his head. Please don’t blame yourself, he barely smiled with a distorted expression and hurried his steps.
They walked down the coastal road for about 10 minutes. Seo Jeong-won smiled awkwardly every time he made eye contact with Song Hae-seop, who occasionally checked to see if he was following him well. When he closed his mouth, his head naturally turned towards the sea.
This is also a pathetic story, but it was the first time he had seen the sea so close since his school trip. In fact, graduating from high school wasn’t that long ago, but the sea was a place he couldn’t access often. It felt lonely to go alone, and he was too busy to live to spend time coming to places like this.
The sound of the waves crashing was strangely comforting. Watching the white waves breaking continuously was awe-inspiring, but also frightening on the other hand. He was so busy admiring the endless horizon that he didn’t even realize that Song Hae-seop had stopped walking.
“Ah!”
“Ugh! I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”
“You have to watch where you’re going. What if you fall…”
Song Hae-seop, who had grabbed the swaying Seo Jeong-won, sighed deeply. His white face turned white in the cold wind and then turned reddish. Song Hae-seop’s chest ached at the innocent smile he gave as if he was embarrassed.
“Here it is. Pado Guesthouse.”
The old, single-story guesthouse with a blue roof and a wide-open gate was a place where the traces of time remained intact.
“It looks shabby, but it’s fully booked. It’s old, but my uncle keeps repairing it… and the hot water comes out really well. The room is so warm. It’s so hot that you sleep in short sleeves even in the middle of winter? There are so many guests, and my uncle also has a fishing boat, so the fishermen…”
“It looks good. The yard is wide and clean, so I think there will be many guests.”
Seo Jeong-won knew that Song Hae-seop was saying anything because he was flustered. The guesthouse looked quite old, but it didn’t give the impression of being shabby or dirty. Rather, it looked quite friendly.
“…Let’s go in.”
“Yes.”
Song Hae-seop, checking that there were no cars running in both directions of the two-lane road, suddenly grabbed Seo Jeong-won’s hand and ran across the road. He entered the guesthouse yard in just a few steps, but Seo Jeong-won thought his heart was about to pop out.
“Were you surprised? People cross like this here most of the time.”
“…”
“Sorry. I’ll file a complaint. I’ll ask them to make a traffic light.”
Seo Jeong-won burst into laughter at the words he added, scratching the back of his head. Song Hae-seop couldn’t help but laugh at the first burst of hearty laughter he had let out, tilting his head back.
Song Hae-seop, who had been laughing for a while, awkwardly wiped his mouth and moved his body.
“Uncle!”
He knocked on the innermost door that his uncle used. He turned the round doorknob, rattling it, and then sighed softly when he realized that there was not a single pair of shoes placed there.
“Sit down, sit down. He must have gone out on a boat.”
“But the sea is right in front, so I can hear the sound of the waves really well. It’s really nice.”
“It’s nice to hear it sometimes, but try listening to it every day. It’s noisy. There’s no time to be quiet. It’s especially noisy at night. Even if you close the window, the sound gets louder and louder.”
Seo Jeong-won, smiling at Song Hae-seop, who was fed up, thought to himself that if you keep listening to it, there will come a time when the sound of the waves sounds like noise. He sat there for a while, and then Song Hae-seop suddenly opened his mouth.
“You know. This is just a question.”
“Yes.”
“Aren’t you going to meet Tae-hee? Unless he’s going abroad, no matter how long it takes, he’ll eventually…”
Seo Jeong-won could easily guess what Song Hae-seop had swallowed. It was that he would be caught someday. He himself had not considered facing Kwon Tae-hee. He knew that he had to meet him and sort things out for sure, rather than unilaterally avoiding him. But he was afraid. If he could postpone it because he was scared, he wanted to postpone it forever.
“It’s better to get hit sooner rather than later.”
“……I’m afraid that I’ll end up clinging to Executive Director.”
“……”
“I’m afraid that I’ll definitely say that I don’t want Executive Director’s baby, but now I’ll cling to him saying that I can’t, and that’s too scary.”
Seo Jeong-won, who had stopped talking for a while while listening to the sound of the crashing waves, sighed deeply and continued.
“My mind changes dozens of times a day, and then it changes again. I want to go back and beg for forgiveness, but when I think of Hyung, I want to disappear as I am…”
“……”
“I’m so sorry to Hyung, I feel like I’m going to die from the guilt. That’s the problem, but Executive Director… Am I being too dramatic?”
After leaving him, Seo Jeong-won thought about Kwon Tae-hee and the baby whenever he was alone. Sometimes he thought about going back pretending not to know, since there are some truths that are better left unknown, but he couldn’t because he felt sorry for Seo Gyu-won. If so, he should realistically consider his situation and financial status and send even the baby to Kwon Tae-hee, but he just wanted to take responsibility without any measures.
He felt self-loathing and powerlessness at the same time for himself, who couldn’t choose either of these things. He asked himself why he was being so picky when he was incompetent, and how he was going to raise the baby when he couldn’t do anything alone and only caused harm. Every time, he couldn’t come up with a clear answer, but he acted as if everything would be fine with the words that he was young and could do anything.
“It’s difficult. I still think Tae-hee didn’t do anything wrong, so I don’t really understand. My sibling meets someone I’m meeting? It would be a problem if I kept seeing my sibling, but I won’t see them for the rest of my life.”
“……”
“Then… isn’t there no problem realistically except for the moral issue?”
Song Hae-seop thought for a moment whether his words were too direct and might be hurtful.
“Are you perhaps wanting love, or something like that, from Tae-hee?”
“It’s not that. It’s really… not that.”
Love in this situation? It doesn’t make sense. In particular, Seo Jeong-won was convinced that Kwon Tae-hee would never love him. If he had even a little bit of affection, he wouldn’t have talked like that. He just thought he was seeing him as a tool to get the necessary means.
“You don’t hate him, do you?”
“……”
“Seeing that you’re not answering right away, I guess you don’t hate him.”