By Zephyria 
Nam Hyun-woo’s daily life was the same, like a hamster wheel.
After school classes ended, Nam Hyun-woo headed straight to the academy. He ate dinner with the lunchbox he brought from home before starting his classes. As he aimed for medical school, he had to attend specialized classes related to it every day of the week.
Even after finishing at the academy, Nam Hyun-woo’s day wasn’t over. After submitting his phone to the administrator, he entered the supervised study hall. If he dozed off from fatigue, the administrator would wake him up. Nam Hyun-woo took ADHD medication along with herbal medicine that was said to improve intelligence.
Twelve o’clock. Mom came to pick up Nam Hyun-woo. As soon as he got into the car, Mom asked Nam Hyun-woo, “Give me your academy test papers.” The academy Nam Hyun-woo attended conducted individual tests daily. Nam Hyun-woo hesitated before taking the test papers out of his bag and handing them to his mother.
Upon receiving her son’s test papers, Mom immediately slapped Nam Hyun-woo across the cheek. Slap, slap. Nam Hyun-woo’s head snapped back twice.
“Hyun-woo.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Hyun-woo. What’s the problem?”
“I’m sorry.”
“We even increased your dosage. So why are your grades still dropping?”
“I’m sorry.”
“……”
“I’m sorry.”
“We’ll talk more at home. Buckle up.”
At Mom’s words, Nam Hyun-woo obediently fastened his seatbelt. The engine of Mom’s silver sedan then started.
On the way home, Nam Hyun-woo’s pale fingers fiddled with the seatbelt that was constricting him. If you looked closely, he was scratching the seatbelt with his fingertips, making a grinding sound.
In his life that spun like a hamster wheel, Nam Hyun-woo’s stress continued to build. Nam Hyun-woo had no friends and no hobbies.
[Mom’s going to queue, so go home alone today]
One day, as he was finishing at the academy, a text message arrived from Mom. Going to queue meant going to register for a popular academy class. Since popular classes could only be registered for in person, mothers would often line up in front of the academy from the night before.
Mom wasn’t there today. The moment Nam Hyun-woo realized this, he smiled brightly. He hastily packed his bag and left the study hall.
Nam Hyun-woo stood alone in a corner of the dark city. But he didn’t know where to go. With clumsy steps, he wandered around, then spotted a building under demolition and climbed over the thin protective sheeting to enter.
Inside the building, which only had a concrete frame, Nam Hyun-woo found a lighter left behind by the construction workers. Fiddling with the lighter with a curious expression, Nam Hyun-woo looked for something to ignite, as if possessed. He gathered torn non-woven fabric, wood, and other materials, then set them on fire. Soon, flames blazed fiercely.
Nam Hyun-woo stared at the burning fire as if entranced, then took off his glasses. A smile spread across his face. Nam Hyun-woo laughed as heartily as he possibly could. The fire danced with him.
Eventually, Nam Hyun-woo took out his penis and urinated towards the fire. The flickering flames, fed by his urine, flared up, scattering embers.
“Cut, okay.”
Kim Jun-haeng called cut. Immediately, Lee A-gon, who had been wearing Nam Hyun-woo’s face, returned to his true self. Just by straightening his hunched shoulders, one could feel that Nam Hyun-woo and Lee A-gon were different people.
We went on standby until the next scene. The extras lay sprawled across the open set, their faces tired.
“Hyung.”
At that moment, Lee A-gon beckoned to Hae-jun with his finger. Hae-jun quickly ran over to Lee A-gon. He needed me. I wanted to do anything for him.
“Please buy me some coffee.”
Lee A-gon raised the finger with the card inserted. Hae-jun nodded eagerly.
“Okay. Wait a moment.”
Taking the card, Hae-jun hurried out of the set and ran down the slope. Since the set was in a remote location, one had to go down the road for a while to reach a cafe. Hae-jun had often seen Lee A-gon drinking Americano at the filming site. He bought one Americano, then ran back to the set.
“Here.”
He handed over the coffee, panting, and after taking a sip, Lee A-gon handed it back.
“Syrup?”
“Huh?”
“Didn’t you put syrup in it? I drink coffee with syrup. Go get it.”
“Ah. Sorry.”
Such a mistake. Hae-jun’s face turned red. When they lived together, Lee A-gon didn’t drink coffee, so he didn’t know his preferences.
“How much should I put in?”
“Just one pump.”
“Okay.”
This time, he understood for sure. Hae-jun ran back down the same path and returned, offering the coffee with one pump of syrup added. But Lee A-gon frowned again.
“It’s too sweet.”
“Huh?”
“I said it’s too sweet.”
He handed the coffee back to Hae-jun.
“Buy me a new one. I can’t drink this.”
“But you told me to add syrup. I only pumped it once, just like you said.”
“So?”
Lee A-gon asked indifferently. Hae-jun was speechless.
The staff member who was touching up Lee A-gon’s face glanced at Hae-jun. Other extras nearby were also looking at Hae-jun. He felt an unspoken pressure.
“I’ll buy a new one.”
Finally, Hae-jun turned away, his lips pressed tightly together.
For the third time, Hae-jun went to the cafe, ordered an Americano, and very carefully added exactly two drops of syrup. This time, it would be fine. Lee A-gon couldn’t possibly find fault again.
Having lost energy from going up and down so many times, he was a little late this time. When Hae-jun arrived at the set, Lee A-gon was already drinking another coffee. He spotted Hae-jun standing stiffly at the entrance and said,
“You’re late. You don’t need that, so throw it away.”
And then Lee A-gon walked away.
Hae-jun was stunned. So many absurd things kept happening that his mind couldn’t keep up.
That was Lee A-gon. The Lee A-gon who had confessed with an excited face that he liked his hyung so much.
That Lee A-gon had subjected him to shame and humiliation. He had deliberately found fault and acted spitefully. He couldn’t believe it.
“Excuse me, are you okay?”
At that moment, another extra actor spoke to Hae-jun. Her face showed sympathy for Hae-jun.
“Lee A-gon is a rookie, but he’s already acting like a tyrant. You must have it tough.”
The extra actor tut-tutted and said she’d never seen people like that last long, no matter how they got in, and comforted Hae-jun.
“No. It’s not tyranny. He’s not usually like that, so please don’t misunderstand. What just happened is because I did something wrong to the actor. He’s a really kind friend. Please think of him kindly. Thank you. Have a good day.”
Hae-jun, who had been listening blankly, came to his senses belatedly and denied what the extra actor had said. As he hastily left, he felt gazes watching him with warmth from behind. A chill ran down his spine.
What should he call this? Cold, painful, his heart ached. Hae-jun didn’t know what to call this feeling.
September. The movie
The working title of the movie was also fixed as its release title, and for a movie with such a casual title, it showed a good performance, drawing 520,000 viewers in its first week.
It surpassed 1 million in the second week, and the media began to show interest in Lee A-gon, leading him to an interview with the film magazine Cinetalk. The Cinetalk editor went through Lee A-gon’s sparse filmography one by one, asking questions, and finally asked about
“In
“Not at all. The emotion was not unfamiliar to me.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean I already knew the heart of a younger man who loves until death and continues to love even after death.”
The editor’s eyes widened.
“Does that mean you’ve experienced such love?”
“Yes.”
“Please tell me more.”
She brought the recorder a little closer. Lee A-gon spoke slowly, as if mulling something over.
“First love is like that, isn’t it? You can die for that person, and you want to be with that person forever. My first love was like that. I was the younger one, and the other person was older than me.”
“You had a remarkable first love.”
“It’s all in the past now.”
Lee A-gon smiled and crossed one leg. Then, he slightly averted his gaze and looked at Hae-jun once.
The editor also laughed, finding the story of the remarkable first love told by a man only twenty-one years old cute.
“Next question. From the audience’s perspective, what do you think of the love between Jae-hyun and Yoon-hee in
The interview continued, but the latter part did not register in Hae-jun’s ears. Only Lee A-gon’s words, the phrase “it’s all in the past now,” echoed in his mind.