By Zephyria 
“You didn’t want to act? Why not?” Lee A-gon asked.
Park Hae-jun sniffled and answered, “Because it’s not fun. Because I only get scolded. Because I knew I had no talent for it.”
With time, he would never become a good actor. He had no passion for acting either. He had only continued because he didn’t want his mother to hate him.
“Then why don’t you just quit?”
“I can’t. Mom wants me to do it.”
“If your mom wants it, you have to do it?”
“Yeah.”
“Why?”
“Well…”
Park Hae-jun’s voice trailed off as he wiped his tears, thinking of an answer.
Lee A-gon asked again, “If you don’t want to do it, shouldn’t you just quit? Isn’t that right?”
“It’s not that simple. How can people live only doing what they want?” Park Hae-jun repeated what his mother had told him, “People have to wake up early for school even if they don’t want to, and do homework even if they don’t want to. Acting is the same. You have to do it even if you don’t want to. That’s how life is.”
“School is mandatory education, so it makes sense that you have to go even if you don’t want to, and of course you need to do homework if you go to school. But acting isn’t mandatory education. It’s not a law you have to follow. So why do you have to force yourself to do it?” Lee A-gon countered Park Hae-jun’s words with precise logic.
His argument was so rational that Park Hae-jun was taken aback.
“…Well, you see.”
Those words were certainly true, but…
“Isn’t that right, hyung?”
Yes, it was right. Everything you’re saying is right.
“Hey, there are circumstances you don’t understand!” Park Hae-jun finally shouted.
He didn’t want to admit that Lee A-gon was right. It felt like losing.
“My mom is making me do this for my own good. I’m not good at studying, and I don’t have any special talents, so she says I at least need to do this!”
“……”
“You don’t know anything. Tch.”
Tears came again. This time they weren’t from fear. They were from frustration. Park Hae-jun let go of Lee A-gon’s hand and roughly wiped his eyes.
“Why are you talentless, hyung? You’re good at folding ttakji and playing marbles. I really think you’re amazing.”
What’s so great about that? What use is being good at folding paper tiles? I’m not good at studying, not good at acting, not incredibly handsome—I’m mediocre at everything. Park Hae-jun retorted internally.
“I like you, hyung. I really, really like you. I really only need you. It’s okay if you’re not good at acting or studying. I just want you to be happy doing whatever you want.”
“Hey, what are you…”
“It’s true. I’m sincere. I like you. You’re so cool.”
The gentle sincerity coming from the darkness soothed his heart. Lee A-gon kept repeating the same words until Park Hae-jun calmed down.
These were words no one had ever said to Park Hae-jun. Even his parents had expectations for him. When he couldn’t meet those expectations, they were disappointed and critical.
Park Hae-jun fidgeted with his fingers. This kid has a bright future ahead of him. He has so much potential.
Why do you like me so much?
“How do you speak so well for a first-grader?”
When the embarrassed Park Hae-jun muttered this, Lee A-gon laughed. The atmosphere gradually warmed.
At that moment, the ground beneath them shook violently. Park Hae-jun screamed and ducked down in surprise. Fear surged again. Park Hae-jun desperately called out to Lee A-gon.
“Lee A-gon! Lee A-gon!”
There was no answer. Park Hae-jun felt around the pitch-black cavity searching for Lee A-gon.
“Lee A-gon! Ahhh!”
With a rumble, the ceiling collapsed. Dust and cement powder filled his mouth. He couldn’t even hear his own screams. Park Hae-jun cried out with all his might. Again, the ground beneath him gave way, and darkness swallowed him up.
·
The children were found in the basement level. It took eighteen hours to rescue them.
The reason for the building’s collapse was also discovered. Under the abandoned building, there had been an actual unexploded ordnance from the Korean War.
When the fire set by the filming crew triggered the unexploded bomb, the old building simply collapsed. Though it wasn’t intentional, the result was the same as demolishing the building with explosives.
Since there could have been more unexploded ordnance, rescue operations proceeded with extreme caution. That’s why it took eighteen hours.
Eight hours after the initial collapse, when a second collapse occurred and the ground shifted, the children rolled in different directions. During this, the central support structure caved in, completely separating the two. The children endured in this state for ten hours.
After the rescue, Lee A-gon desperately searched for his hyung, but Park Hae-jun shut himself in his hospital room and refused all contact. Park Hae-jun needed time to stabilize.
The ten hours spent trapped in complete darkness after being separated from Lee A-gon left Park Hae-jun with a trauma related to darkness.
When the sun set and darkness came, the child would collapse. He would fall backward, screaming. In this state, he couldn’t act. The child canceled all scheduled auditions and only traveled between home, school, and the hospital.
“Please contact me when you get better.”
Lee A-gon’s phone number, which he had given with earnest pleas when he came to the hospital room, never reached Park Hae-jun. It wasn’t intentional. Because Park Hae-jun’s condition was so poor, even his parents forgot to pass it on.
After a year, Park Hae-jun became able to go outside after sunset.
After two years, he could stop crying at night if there was a faint light.
After nearly three years, Park Hae-jun was able to live normally. Around that time, his parents began living separately, and naturally, his return to acting faded away.
Park Hae-jun grew up to be an ordinary adult. He lived in the city, and in the city, there was always light. Therefore, Park Hae-jun had never seen complete darkness since that day.
Until this moment.
Until Lee A-gon caressed his eyes.
“It’s okay. It’s okay. You didn’t do it. You didn’t. You…”
His consciousness, which had fallen into profound darkness, returned. Park Hae-jun opened his eyes wide and stared into the darkness before him. He still couldn’t see anything. Just darkness. Nothing but perfect, complete, deep darkness.
“It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay. Fuck, I said it’s okay.”
A muttering voice. Cold hands massaging between his spread legs.
For a moment, Park Hae-jun thought he was dead. It was that surreal. The hand fondling his genitals and the irritable voice repeating that everything was okay while cursing belonged to Lee A-gon.
“Lee A-gon?” Park Hae-jun called out hesitantly.
Whether he didn’t hear or ignored him, Lee A-gon continued fumbling between Park Hae-jun’s legs before abruptly inserting a finger inside. Park Hae-jun winced in pain. The finger inside spread apart and then came together again repeatedly, as if testing elasticity.
“You didn’t use it. Look. It’s still tight. You didn’t sleep with anyone else. Nothing has been inside here. You didn’t betray me.”
“A-gon.”
“Fuck, you didn’t sleep with anyone! You didn’t sleep with another man!”
“Please. Light.”
“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.”
The sound of teeth grinding echoed. Park Hae-jun bit his lip. He couldn’t bear the fear. The only savior who could rescue him from this darkness was Lee A-gon, but he was only probing between his legs and grinding his teeth.
“Ugh.”
More fingers entered and spread apart. When the opening didn’t stretch easily, he felt relieved, but then Lee A-gon ground his teeth again and muttered to himself. “It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay”—these words weren’t directed at anyone but were meant to calm himself.
“See? It’s still tight. There’s no trace of another man fucking here. You didn’t sleep with anyone else. Nobody has been inside you.”
“Hoo.” Eventually, Park Hae-jun burst into tears. He was scared and sad. Even knowing the man on top of him was Lee A-gon, he was terrified.
Belatedly, Lee A-gon withdrew his fingers from the hole and embraced Park Hae-jun.
“Hyung, are you afraid of the dark?”
“I’m scared. I can’t see anything.” Park Hae-jun sobbed like a child, “A-gon. Help me. Please turn on the light.”
“Why should I? You broke your promise.”
“I didn’t. I wasn’t… alone with another man.”
His hands flailed wildly in the darkness. With his head buried in Lee A-gon’s chest, Park Hae-jun weakly begged for the light to be turned on.
“You left the house on your own.”
“I’m sorry about that.”
“You won’t do it again?”
“No.”
“Can you promise? Will you really never do it again?”
“I promise.”
“Being alone with another man is also not allowed.”
“Alright. So please…Just turn on the light now.” Park Hae-jun sobbed, pressing his tear-soaked cheek against Lee A-gon.
“Haah,” a sigh escaped. It almost sounded like a lamentation. He caressed Park Hae-jun’s eyes and whispered, “Open your eyes…”
Park Hae-jun lifted his face from Lee A-gon’s chest. Then he saw a faint light pooled at the window frame. The never-sleeping city’s light was gathered at the window.
“Ah.” Park Hae-jun blinked his tear-wet eyelashes. The blinding darkness disappeared, and he could sense the quiet noise and faint light of the city. Like waking from a spell, normalcy returned.
“Hyung.”
Park Hae-jun, who had been in a daze, looked up. Lee A-gon, with a tired face, held Park Hae-jun’s cheek to face him.
“Don’t betray me again.”
“I never betrayed you.”
“It was betrayal.” Lee A-gon said firmly, “Being alone in a room with another man, leaving the house without telling me, all of it is betrayal. Don’t ever do it again.”
He bumped his forehead lightly against Park Hae-jun’s. Park Hae-jun blinked his eyes, now seeing light again.
Something felt wrong. Something was amiss, but he couldn’t tell what it was.