“Then why aren’t you eating?”
“…”
“Fine? Then don’t eat. Instead…”
Before he could finish speaking, Lee A-gon picked up the bowl and devoured the food almost as if drinking it. After finishing his meal in just three bites, Lee A-gon put down the bowl, panting. Then he stared at the space between Park Hae-jun’s legs with a murderous gaze.
It was so precarious. Unbearably precarious. Each time Park Hae-jun moved, the fabric rustled, alternately revealing and concealing the tip of his glans. Lee A-gon unconsciously let out a groan. He was going crazy with the desire to touch it.
“Little dummy, do you want to touch your hyung?”
That’s when Park Hae-jun said something unbelievable, “Do you want to suck your hyung’s thing?”
His voice was sweet, like a temptation. Lee A-gon nodded his head fervently. Whimpering sounds escaped him. His hands trembled violently with the overwhelming desire to touch.
“Then bring me the drugs.”
Lee A-gon’s whimpering lips curled inward. Park Hae-jun gave him a cold glance before turning around and heading upstairs.
Thump, thump, Park Hae-jun slowly climbed the stairs. He paused every five steps, allowing Lee A-gon to catch up if he wanted. Still, there was no sound of anyone following.
When Park Hae-jun reached the top of the stairs, he finally looked back. It was quiet. Lee A-gon hadn’t moved an inch from the kitchen.
‘After everything I did, he still won’t come? I endured such embarrassment and even took off my pants. Does he prefer drugs over me or what? Ah, this is infuriating.’
Annoyed, Park Hae-jun stomped to his room and slammed the door shut with a force that threatened to break it.
It took two more days for Lee A-gon to surrender.
When Park Hae-jun opened the door in the morning, he faced Lee A-gon who was crying tears. With a haggard face as if he hadn’t slept at all, he held out both palms to Park Hae-jun. On them lay two packets of drugs.
“…”
After taking the drugs, Park Hae-jun went to the bathroom. He lifted the toilet lid, opened the drug packets, and shook them empty. Lee A-gon whimpered as he watched, but Park Hae-jun paid no attention and pressed the flush button.
“Is there any more?”
Lee A-gon nodded with a tear-soaked face.
“Really? Can I trust you? If you’re lying, I’ll never see you again. Never seeing your hyung again. Do you understand?”
Lee A-gon nodded again. Then he buried his face in his forearm and cried.
Only then did Park Hae-jun’s heart soften. The five-day battle was over. The strength drained from his body.
Park Hae-jun opened his arms and said in a much kinder voice, “Little dummy, come here.”
Lee A-gon clung to him, crying sorrowfully. Park Hae-jun embraced him tightly and patted his back.
Park Hae-jun had also suffered emotionally over the past five days. It wasn’t worry about delayed facilitation. Nor was it concern for the physically weak Lee A-gon. The emotion Park Hae-jun felt was indignation.
Yes, Park Hae-jun was indignant with Lee A-gon. It felt like he had taken in a scruffy stray dog from the street, cared for it in every possible way, only to find it secretly seeking out its old master—drugs—wagging its tail.
“Do you hate me?”
When Park Hae-jun asked, Lee A-gon shook his head. As he did so, he burrowed deeper into Park Hae-jun’s embrace. He hunched his shoulders, which were broader than Park Hae-jun’s, to make them narrower, and lowered his tall frame to fit into Park Hae-jun’s arms.
“You don’t hate me? Really?”
A whining voice leaked out. He was speaking earnestly but Park Hae-jun couldn’t understand a word. The area around Park Hae-jun’s chest became warm. Whether it was because he felt sorry for the guy or because of the tears and saliva Lee A-gon had left there, he couldn’t tell, but his chest was warm anyway.
The lost dog had returned. Park Hae-jun smiled, creasing the corners of his eyes.
That night, Lee A-gon was finally able to suck Park Hae-jun’s penis. As if deprived for too long, he clung to it and sucked without pause, and Park Hae-jun had to ejaculate five times and then leak even more fluid.
∞ ∞ ∞
“Lee A-gon.”
On his way to the living room with coffee, Park Hae-jun called out to Lee A-gon.
Lee A-gon quickly got up and approached. Park Hae-jun grabbed Lee A-gon’s neck with one hand, pulled him down, and gave him a light kiss.
Lee A-gon looked down at Park Hae-jun with a completely entranced, dreamy face. Park Hae-jun smiled once and then went to the living room.
After finishing a meal and before going to clean, Park Hae-jun again beckoned to Lee A-gon. They shared a light kiss and parted. Park Hae-jun would kiss Lee A-gon whenever he saw him—on the way to the bathroom, going upstairs, while washing dishes or drying the lunchboxes.
“Little dummy. I taught you to close your eyes when your brother kisses you.” Park Hae-jun lightly scolded Lee A-gon who was dazed from the kiss.
As instructed, Lee A-gon closed his eyes and held both hands to his chest, hiding his pounding heart. He was so excited. His eyelids kept twitching and his lips parted involuntarily. Park Hae-jun thought Lee A-gon looked like a baby bird waiting to be fed—his appearance was similar too. Hairless and with protruding eyes, like some kind of bird.
‘Cute.’
Park Hae-jun thought unconsciously. He was really ugly, but somewhat cute too. If he thought of him as a really ugly dog, kissing wasn’t as repulsive as before. Ever since Lee A-gon had abandoned his old master—drugs—and chosen him, Park Hae-jun had become noticeably more generous.
“Little dummy. Do you like your hyung?”
Lee A-gon nodded.
“Then call me ‘hyung’.”
“…”
“Come on. Say ‘hyung’.”
Lee A-gon’s face crumpled.
“You can do it. You definitely called me ‘hyung’ back then.”
Perhaps gathering courage from those words, Lee A-gon opened his lips and tried to say something but closed them again. Then he made a sad expression.
Park Hae-jun thought he probably needed some motivation.
The times when he had actively spoken were when he had nearly died, and when he lied to Park Hae-jun about not having any more drugs. It seemed that psychological factors were important in Lee A-gon’s delayed speech. Park Hae-jun decided to find something that would stimulate Lee A-gon.
“Secretary Yang, could you get me the drama that Lee A-gon appeared in?”
That evening, Park Hae-jun made a request to Secretary Yang. It was to get him the drama “Dawn’s Light” in which Lee A-gon had appeared.
“Dawn’s Light,” which had been a fairly popular weekend drama at the time of its broadcast, couldn’t be found on any OTT platform now. This was because the actors who played the lead roles in the drama had been involved in notably bad incidents and disappeared from the public eye. Drunk driving, drugs, military service corruption, and fraud lawsuits. Not just one, but all four of the lead actors had caused scandals, so even DVDs for collectors were never released for this drama.
All that existed were videotapes recorded by someone during the live broadcast, and even those were so rare they couldn’t be found in secondhand markets. The main audience had been middle-aged and older people, so younger people didn’t know of the drama’s existence, and it only circulated as a few clips among those reminiscing about the past.
“I thought seeing his past self might stimulate him. Could you get it for me?”
—I’ll make sure you receive it by tomorrow.
Secretary Yang readily accepted Park Hae-jun’s request. Park Hae-jun hung up the phone, doubting it could be done so quickly.
The next morning, when Park Hae-jun went to the front door to get breakfast, he found a box placed next to the lunch container. Inside was a DVD labeled “Dawn’s Light.”
Park Hae-jun tilted his head in confusion as he brought the DVD inside. He was quite sure this drama had never been produced as a DVD…
Anyway, there was no reason to refuse what was given. Park Hae-jun decided to show the drama to Lee A-gon.
“Remember? This is ‘Dawn’s Light.’ The drama you starred in. This is where we first met.”
When he pressed play, the title sequence began, and Lee A-gon’s name appeared first.
“See that? That’s your face. When you were eight years old, Lee A-gon.”
Lee A-gon stared at the screen without showing any particular interest. Soon the drama began in earnest. The setting was Daegu right after the Korean War. At that time, US military supply units were stationed in Daegu. They had come down to Daegu to avoid Seoul and Incheon, which had been destroyed by bombing, and there they established military supply companies and subcontractors for the US military.
The protagonist, Kim Byeong-chun, was a young shoeshine boy. He was notably smaller than the other shoeshine boys, which was probably why they cast the actual eight-year-old Lee A-gon for the role.
People looked down on and bullied Kim Byeong-chun. This was because there were suspicions that Byeong-chun’s father had defected to North Korea.
A father who had deserted the South Korean army during the war and gone north. A mother who had to tend to “Western princesses” (Korean women who served American soldiers) to make a living. Having such parents was like being born with original sin in post-war Korea.
Still, Kim Byeong-chun was brave. He would always linger in front of the US military base, and when someone called “Shoeshine boy,” he would quickly run over to shine the American soldier’s shoes.
The clever Kim Byeong-chun diligently saved the chocolates that the American soldiers tossed to him like alms. With the money he earned shining shoes all day, Kim Byeong-chun bought rice, and with the money from selling the collected chocolates, he bought coal briquettes. That rice was a day’s food for him and his mother, and those briquettes were the fire that kept them from freezing to death.
Kim Byeong-chun’s mother, Seo Myeong-ja, was still as beautiful as a virgin at twenty-eight. Seo Myeong-ja often frowned due to her weak health, and her appearance was likened to Xi Shi, a beautiful woman from the state of Wu, earning her the nickname “Beautiful Seo.”
“Byeong-chun. Mom is not a Western princess. You believe Mom, don’t you?”
Seo Myeong-ja earned money by helping the Western princesses with various tasks. Even that she couldn’t do often, collapsing after going out just twice a week.
The money Seo Myeong-ja brought in was just enough to pay the rent. Kim Byeong-chun was the head of this household. If he didn’t earn money, mother and son would starve to death.
Then one day, Kim Byeong-chun came to shine the shoes of an American man. The man wasn’t a soldier. He wore a fedora and a suit, and exuded a certain goodness.
After just a brief conversation, the man realized that Kim Byeong-chun was very intelligent and invited the child to church. Kim Byeong-chun went with the man to the church when told they would give out bread and milk.
The man’s name was Robert. He was a missionary.